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  Elite Veteran
Posts: 1176
  
Location: Nor Cal | OP, any updates? I have been thinking about you. Hope everything is alright <3 |
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 My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
 
Location: Arkansas | Checking back in on you and the baby |
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 On the Countdown
Posts: 2934
Location: Texas | Any updates? Praying for you |
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Expert
Posts: 1694
Location: Willows, CA | Mighty Broke - 2016-10-17 2:18 PM
First---I am a guy.
Second---Have a higher opinion of your self, don't settle, you can do better.
Third-----DUMP HIM
Fourth----NO WAY he would get the kid.
This, dump the ass hole. Don't look back, embrace your family and friends. Sometimes life sucks. There are better days ahead. Believe in yourself, and take care of your child. |
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| Let me help a little bit on simplifying all theses posts ..
You and baby are military dependents and that can't be changed ..
Sell everything you own that you can't carry with you the day you leave
while he is gone on some military exercise or whatever.
Sell or ship your horses as soon as possible and say you sold them ...
Don't hang around packing baby clothes, beds, play pens or whatever
since they can be replaced or outgrown ... leave them there and get
you and baby to Texas ...
Also make copies of all military paperwork on your husband you deem
to be needed later on ... mail them to your future address ...
Once you are on the road for several hours .... call one of your husband's
friends and let them know you have left so you have a witness and no
missing person report will be filed. Tell his friend you are going to
California for a couple of weeks to sort things out while visiting your
aunt Lula Belle .... (fake aunt) ... just as a misdirection of where you
are really going. Just a quick message and no long chit chat ...
Once to Texas ... find a job as soon as possible so you can establish residence
in Texas ..
Get you a Post Office Box for an address for mail ...
Send a change of address to the military ... they have a form ... for your dependent check ... and get that started ...
Now .. go to your local court house to the county clerks office and tell the ladies you would like to file for divorce with a child and see if they have any forms or PDF files you can use to file for filing a divorce.
Now ask if they have the same thing for filing the final divorce decree ... these are the only two things you will present to the court at the start and after the judgement ...
On both forms .. BE SURE ... and ask for the defendant (your husband) pay all attorney fees and court costs on your behalf ... you will find the correct words on the copies you found at the court house ... it is normal for the wife filing to ask for her attorney to paid by husband ...
AND ... as for a restraining order .. you will find the words you need in the court house files .... this saves you time and money from having to do this separately ...
AND visitation rights to daughter only with a social worker present at some place other than your home .....
AND ask for child support of xxx $$$'s as a military dependent
RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE NO ATTORNEY ...
ALSO ... ask if they can show you a couple of recent divorce filings that involve a child and husband in the military .... find a couple you like and pay the $1 per sheet to take home with you. These will be your way of getting the legaleze wording to file in court on your papers .... YOURSELF!! Pay the court filing fees and a fee to have your husband served with the divorce ... very cheap ...
I would also send a copy of the filing for divorce to his commanding officer with a note to help expedite your dependent checks ... attach a copy of the previous form you sent to have them mailed to you so it is easy for him to help if he can.
And it puts him on notice that one of his soldiers is now going thru a divorce ..
YOU CAN DO ALL OF THIS WITHOUT AN ATTORNEY ... all the way to getting your final decree by just following up doing the same thing you did above to file the divorce decree ..
The reason I suggest a do it self divorce is the attorney cost and the long drag out they put a couple through ....... when you walk in the door at an attorney's office they figure out how long and how much they can get from both parties before they ever move on getting a divorce.
Never ever think an attorney is going to expedite the divorce proceedings ... they are in the business of delaying, doing nothing in order to get wife and husband to fighting so they can charge you more as time and frustration wear you both out. ... Attorney's are masters at creating feuds between people that wanted a friendly divorce and had agreed in writing on who gets what .... IT IS THE WAY THEY MAKE THEIR MONEY!!
Always keep in mind attorneys will trade your case with another attorney they may be working with in order to win the other case they have at your demise ...
If he shows up at your home address or where you are working in Texas ... just dial 911 and let the police argue with him...
If you have the restraining order per the above divorce filing .... keep a copy with you at all times until everything is over.
If you get notified of husband cross filing on your filing for divorce ... NOW IS THE TIME TO GO GET AN ATTORNEY ... and anything he writes includes the items I suggested above !!! if THERE is no cross filing then you will win by default without him being there ... just make sure you pay the service fee above for your husband to be per my comments above ... sometimes no fee ... county deputies will do the service .. since you are out of state I am sure there will be a fee and the ladies at the court house when you file will make a call and find out for you ...
DO NOT HANG AROUND AT YOUR PRESENT HOME PACKING UP STUFF PER MY COMMENTS ABOVE...... watch the movies and newspapers ... something bad always happens when they go back to pick up their favorite coat or lipstick .
GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS ...
Edited by BARRELHORSE USA 2016-11-18 1:45 AM
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I am your favorite rash and you know it
Location: Being pushed over the edge, NM | luluwhit - 2016-10-18 11:02 AM i havnt read any replies.
get in a fight... a big one. call the cops. put that on his record. that along with the prior removal of him before the baby was born should be all the ammo you need. then pick up and move home with your family. let a lawyer ( a good one ) sort it out from there.
Let's not conspire to ruin someone's career. She can file a restraining order, which will still get him in trouble with his CO, but not as much as an arrest.
From my experience in law enforcement, DO NOT pack up and leave the state, she is his child too. If he did that you'd want to hit him for kidnapping, it works both ways. If he is violent and threatens you, you need to file a police report and follow up with a restraining order and divorce papers. Do this the right way, you have to maintain composure and think properly to maintain control of the situation.
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 The Original Cyber Bartender
Location: Washington | Start with his chain of command. It truly is that simple.
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| OP I think you have stated your husbands lack of interest in the baby and
your fear of an encounter with a raging drunk ....
So.. for your and your childs safety .... get to Texas as quick as you can before
a drunk knocks your door down at 2 am in the morning ....
There is no piece of paper or CO going to be there to save you and even
if you manage a 911 call .... the police are always 10 minutes late ..
There are no kidnapping charges to be made without a previous court order
that has given him custody of the baby for you to disobey .... then it is
simple contempt of court when you are not in hiding...
Get to Texas, get a job, a texas drivers license and file for divorce in Texas
so he will be the one having to answer to an out of his state court .... and
not you ...
If he is career military he can manage to get transferred to a Texas military
base if he wants close contact with his child ...
I can't believe anyone would suggest you stick it out where you are knowing
there could be violence headed your way ...
Any police officer will tell you that a call on domestic violence can be one
of the most dangerous calls they make or most horrendous call they ever
made ...
So ... pack it up and get to rolling on your way to Texas ...
Edited by BARRELHORSE USA 2016-11-20 4:00 AM
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I am your favorite rash and you know it
Location: Being pushed over the edge, NM | BARRELHORSE USA - 2016-11-20 1:57 AM OP I think you have stated your husbands lack of interest in the baby and your fear of an encounter with a raging drunk .... So.. for your and your childs safety .... get to Texas as quick as you can before a drunk knocks your door down at 2 am in the morning .... There is no piece of paper or CO going to be there to save you and even if you manage a 911 call .... the police are always 10 minutes late .. There are no kidnapping charges to be made without a previous court order that has given him custody of the baby for you to disobey .... then it is simple contempt of court when you are not in hiding... Get to Texas, get a job, a texas drivers license and file for divorce in Texas so he will be the one having to answer to an out of his state court .... and not you ... If he is career military he can manage to get transferred to a Texas military base if he wants close contact with his child ... I can't believe anyone would suggest you stick it out where you are knowing there could be violence headed your way ... Any police officer will tell you that a call on domestic violence can be one of the most dangerous calls they make or most horrendous call they ever made ... So ... pack it up and get to rolling on your way to Texas ...
"Yes, your honor, the crazy guy from the internet told me to over-react, skip the legal process, pack up his kid and flee to another state. Totally sounded legit."
Without a documented history of serious altercations, threats, or behavior, claiming the "fear for my life" thing in court comes off as manipulative and vindictive. My father was married 5 times, I have BEEN THERE to hear many a judge's comments on exactly the actions you're advocating. The fact the husband is military brings other people into play, they have their own oversight and rules, it behooves him to clean up his act and to obey any court orders. Even having the police called to his home can get him called in to the office and paperwork. As a military member he also has access to lawyers, resources, and advocates to protect HIS rights as a father, so telling this girl to disappear with his kid will not end well for anyone and certainly will not look good when it does get to court. My first husband and I were military and we saw several situations like this and your advice is only going to cause unecessary drama, hardship, and heartache.
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Expert
Posts: 1681
| First and foremost call the Cops whenever you feel you need to.
Next call 800-799-7233 which is the Domestic Violence Hotline. http://www.thehotline.org/help/
http://womenslaw.org/gethelp_type.php?type_name=Finding%20a%20Lawyer
Please safety plan. - Make a grab bag with two days worth of clothes for you and baby.
- Medications.
- Important numbers, incase he keeps/breaks your phone. Verizon wireless has HelpLine phones.
- Where can you safely go? DV Shelters are in EVERY state.
- Keep a copy of the marriage license, SSN, checking/credit card accounts, insurance policies, W2s/paystubs, police reports, leases/deeds, ect.
Please message me if you have any questions. I've made a resource book of all the domestic violence shelters in the US.
REMEMBER LOVE DOESN'T HURT.
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My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | Has anyone heard from OP in any way since her last post on here? Kinda worried. . . . |
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Expert
Posts: 1681
| Chandler's Mom - 2016-11-20 8:03 PM Has anyone heard from OP in any way since her last post on here? Kinda worried. . . .
I checked her profile, last login date was Oct. 17th at 4:06pm.
I pray her family is safe.
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 512
| Worried about the OP. Praying for her and her family |
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Folks on-line