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 Expert
Posts: 1261
  
| I feel so incredibly discouraged that I am honestly considering selling everything I have and cutting my losses. I feel like I am not good enough and am just wasting precious time and money my family can't really spare. I have a seasoned horse that can be pretty competitive but has some things I could really spend a lot of time retaining. I don't really want to put the effort in however because she's never been consistent or reliable. You never know when she will make a run, when she will spook or what she will do when she does make a run. I had high hopes for a new horse I purchased and the trainer rode her beautifully but when I get on I feel like we are back at square one and she's fighting me at every single step, which isn't how she was before the trainer at all. I know it's me. I feel like I just am not good enough at this point and I don't have tons of time and money to throw at trying to get better. It stopped being fun along time ago and I feel incredibly guilty wasting time and money I could spend with my family. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 678
Location: Canada | Why don't to book some lessons with a good coach. You need to have some good successful rides to bring your excitement and confidence back up.
A good coach can help identify what's going wrong and give you the tools to fix the issues. They can also help you gain the confidence you need to find the fun in it again.
I hope you find someone great to help pull you through this rut.
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 I Prefer to Live in Fantasy Land
Posts: 64864
 
Location: In the Hills of Texas | Sounds like you haven't found a horse that fits you. When a horse fits you, barrel racing becomes fun and easy.
If you love to barrel race..Like the above poster said...find a good coach and let her help you with what you have or if her opinion is to sell what you have...do it.
Good Luck!
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Expert
Posts: 1261
| I do think that's a good idea. I am just not sure who or when I would be able to do it. I used to take lessons with someone but as I learned more there was some things that I didn't feel were a good fit for me. The trainer I just sent my horse to has tried to help just a few times when I got my horse back but it's so different from what I learned in the past I just end up frustrated and doubting myself. She is also moving away. I am not sure who else in my area I could even take lessons with. |
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The Advice Guru
Posts: 6419
| Winning isn't everything, it is the journey, the experience and the friendships you make along the way.
It sounds like you are not happy unless you win, and want to throw in the towel.
It doesn't hurt to sell out, you can always buy back in later.
If you can't afford it at this time, it may be for the better to sell the horse and concentrate on your family |
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 Take a Picture
Posts: 12838
| Years ago, I was the one to beat around here. I rodeoed in college. Now if I place in the 4D I'm lucky. I got where I had no confidence. I went to a clinic which had a lot of saddle time. It certainly helped. Every run, I get better. I used to train my horses but now I send them to a trainer. My trainer works with me a lot, which helps but the clinic helped more.
I will say that if you go to a clinic and you decide that they don't do things your way, you are wasting your money. Go to learn how a successful person rides and do what they tell you to do. I am a perfect example of crappy riding makes a crappy horse. I have gone from hitting barrels every run to beautiful patterns. I know what to do just could not implement it. If I quit because I was not winning, I would have quit a long time ago.
Hope that helps. |
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  Ms. Marine
Posts: 4627
Location: Texas | I was in a position similar to yours a long time ago where I was ready to sell everything and give up on horses and riding. My father took notice and sat down with me and told me that nothing worth it is ever easy. It's the challenge and the struggle that will make it worth it in the end when you start to see results. |
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 Very Important Person
Posts: 5680
Location: South MS | I've kind of been there.......I've had some fantastic horses but because of serious back issues keeping me from riding like I used to, I finally had to get out of running barrels. I was depressed and having a major pity party . I finally decided that I really didn't want to be horseless , so I now have a couple of old girls and will hopefully get some nice babies to send out to make "futurity history!" (just a joke - we all know how that can go)!
So, my take on this is, if you feel down, take a step back and ask yourself just what it is that would make you want to keep on going and make it happen .
Wishing you all the best! |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 678
Location: Canada | wishes4kissez - 2016-11-26 7:58 PM
I do think that's a good idea. I am just not sure who or when I would be able to do it. I used to take lessons with someone but as I learned more there was some things that I didn't feel were a good fit for me. The trainer I just sent my horse to has tried to help just a few times when I got my horse back but it's so different from what I learned in the past I just end up frustrated and doubting myself. She is also moving away. I am not sure who else in my area I could even take lessons with.
Ask around to friends or other racers and see who takes lessons and where. You have to keep in mind that what worked for some horses doesn't work for others so no training or coaching is concrete and the same. You may have learned something in the past that worked for that time in your life, level of fitness, the horse you were riding etc. but now you need to do things differently. If you have conflicting info from one coach to the next ask questions. A good coach will be able to explain to you what you are doing, why you are doing it and explain the potential consequences of doing it differently.
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 Thread Killer
Posts: 7543
| I've been out of the horse world for a few years and have been horseless for nearly a year. I probably won't get back into it myself for a number of reasons, the biggest one being the stress of simply owning a horse. I can assure you that there IS life after horses. Lol. But it doesn't sound like that is your problem.
It sounds to me like you're really beating yourself up over this. With that attitude, you're creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. Of course it won't be enjoyable if your reason for keeping the horses relies solely on whether or not you're "good enough."
I'd take a break from barrels and focus on enjoying horses first and foremost. Trail ride and give yourself a break. |
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 You get what you give
Posts: 13030
Location: Texas | I am sure we have all been in that position at one point or another. If you're one of the few who has only had success, then you just haven't had this part come to you yet. My journey has very much been filled with highs and lows. Just recently one of mine had a routine diagnostic procedure under anesthesia, which should have been quick in and out... she reacted badly to the anesthesia and fought recovery for three hours. Ended up chipping her knee as well. So, she's now most likely broodmare sound.
But like others have said, if its that much of a struggle, the horse isn't right. The right horse will make everything fun, and will make the struggles worth it. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 898
Location: Idaho | It sounds like you haven't found the right horse for you, and that you might need to take some lessons to help build your confidence up. My confidence was pretty shot for a while, my main horse who I rode and ran for 6 years passed away in August 2014, and even before he passed away I decided to give him a break in April 2014 and start running my new horse, who I found out.. just didn't like barrels at all, so I eventually sold him as a trail horse. After running the same horse for 6 years, who was super consistent and just easy and fun to ride and I got super comfortable with, I was then stuck with two horses that I wasn't used to including my then 3 year old colt. I want to quit SO many times, because I didn't want to ride another horse that I wasn't familiar with and I felt like I just couldn't do it. I had a lot of help and I am grateful for my friends who kept pushing me and telling me not to give up. After selling my other horse, I just had my colt left and after 2 years I am finally to a point where I am getting somewhat comfortable with my now 5 year old. He is patterned on barrels and I have started to exhibition him, I am still working on confidence but it is getting better with every ride because I know how he is, and what he does and I am very familiar with his behaviors and what works for us as a team. But it took me what feels like FOREVER to get here!
But yes, I would look for another horse that maybe can suit your needs better. One that is a been there, done that type of horse that you can learn on, build up your confidence on and not have to worry and that you can just enjoy the ride. Also consider getting lessons for a good, reputable trainer. |
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 Own It and Move On
Location: The edge of no where | Why do you ride?
What are your goals as far as being competitive?
Would you be happy riding if you didn't compete?
What brings you joy about having horses?
Might be time to re-evaluate why/what you're doing with horses and make up a new strategy. |
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"Heck's Coming With Me"
Posts: 10794
Location: Kansas | If you feel like quitting then quit. You may find it's like a giant lead weight off your shoulders. Too much driving, too much standing around waiting to run your horse, too expensive to be worth what isn't necessarily enjoyable. |
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Expert
Posts: 1261
| Thank you for the advice everyone. I don't mean to sound like all I care about is winning. Winning isn't the end all be all for me at all, but I do want to constantly be feeling like I am improving along the way, beating my personal bests or at least being consistent. My main horse I think just won't ever be consistent with me at least. I have felt like it's my fault and felt bad about it. My last horse was miss reliable and always consistent but had a Career ending injury and I had to start over with th one I have now. I think that's what makes it so hard to accept. This horse has more natural talent and skill but she will never be consistent or reliable. I feel guilty and selfish spending my weekends and money running her when I can't even count on her to run the pattern without stopping because she's seen a banner or something. I don't need to win every time but at least improving is important to me and it's really embarrassing when your horse that's been there done that for years slams on the breaks randomly and nearly sling shots you over her on a regular basis. I don't think she is the right horse for me at this time.
That's why I purchased my other horse. But she's very green and my confidence is so low at this point I just feel like I am screwing her all up. She's a very nice horse and I know she could go far I just feel like I can't get her there. |
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You get what you give
Posts: 13030
Location: Texas | i would sell the one you can't rely on. Life is too short.
And maybe find something older and reliable while you work with the younger one. You have to have something you can count on or you will go nuts. |
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 I Don't Brag
Posts: 6960
| Just Plain Lucky - 2016-11-27 9:41 AM
I've been out of the horse world for a few years and have been horseless for nearly a year. I probably won't get back into it myself for a number of reasons, the biggest one being the stress of simply owning a horse. I can assure you that there IS life after horses. Lol. But it doesn't sound like that is your problem.
It sounds to me like you're really beating yourself up over this. With that attitude, you're creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. Of course it won't be enjoyable if your reason for keeping the horses relies solely on whether or not you're "good enough."
I'd take a break from barrels and focus on enjoying horses first and foremost. Trail ride and give yourself a break.
For some of us...there might be life after horses, but for some of us would that life be worth living? Only you can decide what is worth the effort. |
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| Barrel racing is a roller coaster ride and there are probably more downs than ups. When things are going good they seem so easy and when they are going bad you cant figure out how you ever did good before. I tend to feel frustrated when I'm trying to hard or my expectations are too high.
One thing that I try to remind my kids when they are getting discouraged is to take each run 1 at a time. You not only need to look at what you want to fix and work towards that on the next run, but also what went right on the run. And DO NOT compare yourself to others! What is a win for you may not be considered a win for them. For example I have a mare that was previously "blown up" on the barrels. After time, vet bills, and lots of patience I hauled her this weekend to a jackpot and did a time only. If I looked at my time I was about 4 seconds off however she went beautifully through the barrels and was stress free so this for us this was a huge win! My next run I will build on that and hope to go a bit faster.
I also know that when money is tight this adds to the discouragement and puts a lot of added pressure on you. If you don't have the money to spend then go to less shows, less expensive shows, or stay closer to home if you can. This will take some of the burden to win off and you can go and have fun.
One more thing I would like to say also (and it may not be the case with you, but it may help others reading this..) if you are on Facebook and you are like me and have 1000 barrel racing friends then you are constantly bombarded with the "i won this" and "i won that". Please remember you are only seeing the things others want you to see. No one wins everything all the time! Everyone struggles....they just don't publish it.
Focus on yourself, believe in yourself and run your own race. |
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