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Expert
Posts: 1477
  
Location: In the land of peanuts and cotton | If his clothes are in the dirty clothes basket they don’t get washed. If he doesn’t take his breakfast/supper dishes at to the kitchen then they’ll be right there the next day until he decides to do it(within reason). If he makes a mess I expect him to clean it up. Not just leave it for me to do later. But I have come to realizes in the past 5 months it’s a lot easier for me to do the majority of the cleaning because i want it spotless and I’m so picky about how it’s done that it’s just easier to do it my self. His mama had him spoiled. They had a cleaning lady that came in twice a week and cleaned and washed clothes. Still to this day if we eat over there he’ll get up from the table and leave his mess. Um no! I can’t stand that.
Edited by TessBelle 2017-12-14 11:08 PM
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 Cotton Balls are the Devil
Posts: 1271
Location: My own little world! | I work less hours a week then my husband, (20 to 40 hours a week) so I do cook on nights I don't work and on most weekends. This is a new skill as when i worked full time, I didn't cook and if I did, I was bad at it.
He takes out the garbage, unloads the dish washer and does his own laundry. And mows the lawn. Unless he is working longer hours in the summer or just gone working in the summer, then I do that. Oh and he gets all the wood and is in charge of he wood stove in the winter.
I feed, and do the flower garden and the veggie garden. I wash the pick ups. I do the all rest of the house work now that I work less. When I worked as much as him, I would ask him to help with house work, to sweep or mop sometimes. But we both hate house work so we decided to get a house keeper 2 times a month which is the bomb.
If he cooks, I clean up and if I cook, I clean up.
He is a hard, hard worker and I'm pretty much a princess so, there's that. | |
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 Owner of a ratting catting machine
Posts: 2258
| MS2011 - 2017-12-14 2:39 PM
classicpotatochip - 2017-12-14 9:17 AM I divorced the reason to have rules.
  You and me both............LOL!  Mine never did anything to help out around the house..... or around the place in general or contribute financially. I really hope I never run across anyone that absolutely worthless again.. He had a great job when I married him and mysteriously was fired 2 wks later and proceeded to be a dead beat the rest of the time we were together. I've racked my brain, about all he did was smoke pot, sleep and screw around with 20 year olds.....and rope - he did rope a lot. Â
You and me should sit down over coffee somewhere. I think we have awesome stories to tell each other!! | |
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 Expert
Posts: 2128
| TessBelle - 2017-12-14 11:01 PM
If his clothes are in the dirty clothes basket they don’t get washed. If he doesn’t take his breakfast/supper dishes at to the kitchen then they’ll be right there the next day until he decides to do it(within reason). If he makes a mess I expect him to clean it up. Not just leave it for me to do later. But I have come to realizes in the past 5 months it’s a lot easier for me to do the majority of the cleaning because i want it spotless and I’m so picky about how it’s done that it’s just easier to do it my self. His mama had him spoiled. They had a cleaning lady that came in twice a week and cleaned and washed clothes. Still to this day if we eat over there he’ll get up from the table and leave his mess. Um no! I can’t stand that.
That is some of mines problem. He was raised up with a grandmother, mother and sister who all doted over him and spoiled him completely rotten. | |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 900
Location: Monticello, AR | The husband that I finAlly kicked out did little to nothing. If he wanted to cook deer meat, he would cook. But no clean up in the kitchen. It got so bad....I quit doing his laundry.....after he bought new underwear a couple of times, he asked if I could hire a housekeeper. So I did and worthless paid for her. I did all my laundry.....I even hid the laundry detergent so he couldn't use what I had bought. He was lucky to have me and he was a bum...took me a while to finally get enough of his crap but I was so glad when I did!! | |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 618
| I've been married 20 years but have lived with my hubs for 27. We have a 17 yr old son and a 23 yr old daughter, who just moved out start her first teaching job 4 hrs away. We have 7 horses, 4 dogs, 1 house cat and barn cats all on 18 acres. I 100% take care of the horses, he doesnt ride at all, although he will feed if I ask him to if I am working. My kids do their own laundry and have for years, they clean their rooms and bathroom and no I don't pay them. We all pitch in to do whatever needs to be done. There is no your chore, my chore whatever EXCEPT for the cooking, my hubs doesn't cook but my kids do sometimes and that's nice. If i dont feel like it he'll get pizza or something(this happens RARELY) I have a sweet part time job 1/2 mile from my house with a pretty flexible schedule but I work EVERYDAY, weekends and holidays bc horses have to be fed however my hubs will even feed them if I want to go to barrel race or something. I don't take advantage of that though. When my daughter lived at home She helped take care of horses bc 2 are hers, definitely a lot harder by myself but I don't complain bc I feel so blessed and grateful to have this life. I pay for cell phones and horses, the hubs pays for everything else although we only have a small house payment. We all share inside/outside chores, whatever needs to be done we just do it. | |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 312
Location: KS | Ashley Lynn - 2017-12-14 9:15 AM
This year I have been the one to do everything since I quit my job to stay home with Brody. I do ask that dishes make it to the sink and laundry to the hamper- but everything else is on me! Ricky does take care of everything outside, heck that’s the job I want!!! With a one year old in the house, it seems all that I do is clean! My biggest rule that I make EVERYONE follow is not wearing shoes inside the house. I work and sweep constantly to keep the floors clean because ANYTHING Brody picks up goes in his mouth, so I’m pretty anal about dirty boots staying at the door! My husband is pretty good to help when he’s home, but with him penning cows for a living- the fall is our busiest time of year. It will be interesting to see how the dynamics change once I start school in January, my house may just be a wreck for a year!
In your shoes, I have 2 babies at home now, one 15 months and one 2 months. I quit my job this year to stay home and raise my babies as well, have alittle side business going but for the most part I'm mom and LOVE IT. I do most of the chores in regards to the house but do have something to say about it every now and then. I'm still asked to help run a tractor up and down the road, haul water, etc., so I feel he can help out some too. He does take care of our animals now as I don't get out as much as id like, and thankful he feeds our horses with out much complaint at all. He did ask me to go swath the other day and I gave him a look, and said you take these two and go swath for a day, then ask me. I would love to help out a little more, but my kids are more important at this point....someday. I don't think they realize what we give up as moms, I'm not complaining I absolutely love being a mom and wouldn't change it for a thing, I know someday ill be able to get back on a horse or go out and give them the TLC they deserve, until then I watch from the big picture window. | |
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 Shoot Yeah
Posts: 4273
Location: Where you need a paddle... Oregon! | i could feel my blood pressure rising as I read some of these. I was married 16 years. Quit my good paying job to be a housewife and mother. I was the main parent, did all the yard word, carried in wood, fixed anything that could be fixed without his help. I did almost all the grocery shopping and cooking, laundry, housework. As far as husbands go, he wasn't a bad one. He'd help bring in groceries, put them away, he'd help cook, clean the kitchen, etc. Sometimes I'd tell him and my son that I'd like us all to buckle down and spend the next hour cleaning the house and he'd clean toilets, and vacuum (my 2 least favorite tasks).
As the years went on he did less and less and I did more and more. I wasn't one to nitpick so that wasn't it. Now that we are divorced his place is falling apart. The barn is a mess, there's garbage, broken bbq's, and random crap in a pile behind the barn, the yard is always tall, the fences are broken down. He remarried right away, so it's not like he's all alone to handle things.
I absolutely loved being a stay at home mom. I made our meals from scratch, I baked, the house was always clean, laundry done, yard looked good. The hardest part has been starting over financially after being home for so many years.
I wouldn't be married for 2 seconds to some of the men I've seen described here. I'd rather be alone than pick up after a grown man.
Edited by Lady 2017-12-17 6:20 PM
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Location: Wherever the Army sends my husband | Â I was a sahm for almost 2 years and just recently started working part time. I do most of the cooking and cleaning. But he does all his own laundry, cleans his bathroom and the spare room. I do mine and our toddler son's laundry and clean the rest of the house. We both load the dishwasher but I am one of those people that can't stand when its loaded "wrong" and rearrange it. He usually cooks once a week. We grocery shop together as misery loves company and neither of us like doing it. He does the "man's" stuff like oil changes, brakes, fix crap etc. I take care of all the critters but he pays for the feed. He will feed for me if I ask him to, like if I don't feel good. He wakes up on the weekends when our son gets up (usually stupid early) so I can sleep in except during rifle season. | |
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 pressure dripper
Posts: 8699
Location: the end of the rainbow | Goodness I am spoiled. He does all if the grocery shopping, most of the cooking and all his own laundry. Plus he does all the maintenance on my every day truck & my hauling truck. He built me a very nice mare motel with beautiful pens & is currently working on my wash rack and tack/feed room. He stacks most of my hay even though I don't expect him to because he doesn't ride & he feeds my horses when I'm not home. In return I try to keep the dishes from piling up in the sink, attempt to run the vacuum and mop before the dog hair & dirt take over the house & try to give him at least one meal a week he doesn't have to cook himself. Oh & since he usually brings me coffee in bed on the weekends I always put fresh sheets on the bed if I spill.
Edited by willrodeo4food 2017-12-17 9:32 PM
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 889
Location: on the fine line between insanity and geniusness | willrodeo4food - 2017-12-17 9:30 PM
 Goodness I am spoiled. He does all if the grocery shopping, most of the cooking and all his own laundry. Plus he does all the maintenance on my every day truck & my hauling truck. He built me a very nice mare motel with beautiful pens & is currently working on my wash rack and tack/feed room. He stacks most of my hay even though I don't expect him to because he doesn't ride & he feeds my horses when I'm not home. In return I try to keep the dishes from piling up in the sink, attempt to run the vacuum and mop before the dog hair & dirt take over the house & try to give him at least one meal a week he doesn't have to cook himself. Oh & since he usually brings me coffee in bed on the weekends I always put fresh sheets on the bed if I spill.
Do you take outside husbands for training?! LOL. Mine is much better than he used to be. He was the baby of the family and his mom and sister spoiled him rotten when he lived at home! I can’t complain too much because he works day light until dark most days. I’m glad he afforded us the opportunity for me to stay home with our son for his first year, but lawd let me tell ya I’m ready to get back to work!!! All stay at home moms have my utmost respect! IT IS HARD WORK!! I love my husband and my son with my very deepest bone in my body, but I have got to go back to work! | |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 380
| I do almost all of it. Not that my husband won't help it's just easier for me to get it done during the day then do family stuff after he gets home from work. I work from home and clean as I go. He does help me get hay and takes out trash Monday morning and clean gutters a few times a year.
I have had to leave for a couple of days before. He doesn't know how I keep up with it all and is sure I am some sort of super human. | |
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 Chicken Chick
Posts: 3562
Location: Texas | I do most of the house work. My 13 year old son vacuums daily (his dog is one shedding beast), and he does his own laundry. Mainly because if he decided he didn't want to wear something or it didn't fit... he just threw it in the dirty clothes hamper. I got tired of washing clean clothes, so he can wash his own laundry. He has a lot less laundry to wash now days for some reason lol.
My 3 year old is suprisingly a huge help. That little girl LOVES her some house work. Every time she hears the dryer stop, she unloads the dryer and piles the clothes on the couch or on my bed and she folds her pants or dish towels depending on the load, and she matches socks... everything else looks like it was rolled in a ball. lol
My husband works a lot. So he isn't around for much of the cleaning. He takes out the trash and him and my son take care of the yard. If I am not feeling well and I am falling behind on the house work my husband will clean up the main areas. He never complains if I fall behind, he either sits quietly in the mess or he does it himself. lol
I really hate cleaning... but if people are putting their dishes in the sink, their trash in the trash, cleaning up spills etc. I don't mind. If they are flat out being lazy and expecting me to be their maid then things get a little crazy around here and everyone goes back to normal shortly after. | |
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 BHW Resident Surgeon
Posts: 25352
Location: Bastrop, Texas | . | |
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 Am I really the Weirdo?
Posts: 11181
Location: Kansas | My fiance and I are currently living with his mother, who has spoiled him rotten his whole life, but we're working on housebreaking him a little bit. lol. He does know to scrape food off his plate into the trash and put the dishes in the sink, and he'll help dry dishes if I wash some. He is a bit OCD like his mom, so if I cook, he'll clean the kitchen because he knows how clean she wants it. Laundry and cooking are beyond him, but I did get him to mix some Taco Lasagna ingredients together last year, and he will fold his own clothes. For whatever reason, he rarely grasps the concept of putting drinks in the fridge to chill, but he's always willing to pack a cooler for rodeo or barrel race trips so that's nice.
He's quite handy at the barn but for some reason I end up doing all of my horse chores then helping with his. Apparently I am more efficient LOL. He does change the oil in my vehicles, fix minor things that go wrong and he'll do any job that involves the tractor, which is nice since I stink at driving his tractor.
We're planning on buying a house when we figure out where his job is going to be - he interviewed for a promotion that would require us to move and we're waiting to hear - and I'm sure we'll share chores there. Lord knows I am not a cleaner and so I think he'll take on a lot of those duties if I will cook and do laundry. Easy trade.....I hate cleaning!! | |
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 Namesless in BHW
Posts: 10368
Location: At the race track with Ah Dee Ohs | I do most in our household, but hubby does, cook, clean, laundry. Only thing when he does laundry he does not fold!!! LOL He helps as much as he can/wants to! In my daughters house...she has 4 kiddos. All kids are responsible for their own laundry. They each have a specific day of the week. If they don't do it, well that's on them. They also have other household chores they have to do. Trash, dishes, feeding/watering dogs. | |
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