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 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
  
| Absolutely no words for this. Article aside he has other siblings, how to you explain to them you are giving their brother back??? Also said the 9 year old "refused" help for aggressive behavior. When does a 9 year old get to decide whether he needs help??
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Will Couple Be Jailed for Returning Adopted Son After Nine Years?
Cleveland and Lisa Cox return adopted son to Ohio children's services after raising him for 9 years
Photographer: WCPO
Copyright 2013 Scripps Media, Inc. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.
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SHARETHIS
Posted: 11/15/2013
By: Alyssa Dailey, wcpo.com
LIBERTY TWP, Ohio -- A grand jury indicted a Liberty Township couple that gave their adopted 9-year-old son back to Butler County Children’s Services after raising him since he was a baby, according to the Journal-News.
Cleveland and Lisa Cox adopted the boy when he was 3 months old. The pair was indicted Thursday on one count of nonsupport of dependents after “recklessly” abandoning him on Oct. 24.
“My position is children in general, not speaking to this specific case, they do not have a return to sender label on their forehead,” said Butler County Prosecutor Mike Gmoser. “They are their children for always and they have that duty to support and they cannot abandon without consequences.”
The child’s guardian ad litem, Adolfo Olivas, said the boy’s parents cite aggressive behavior as their reasoning for returning him to children’s services. Olivas said the parents were frustrated that the boy would not agree to get help for his behavioral issues.
“The parents were willing to get help but the child wasn’t. That just is nonsense to me,” Olivas said. “A parent is a parent and a 9-year-old is a 9-year-old. If your 9-year-old needs help, you get him help. It is not a question of a 9-year-old wanting it or not.”
Olivas said the child is now receiving the care he needs but does not understand what has happened.
“(The child is) hurt and confused and traumatized,” Olivas said. “What does this do to these other kids? You have these siblings and one goes away and doesn’t ever come back because of some behavior issues. Anytime you separate siblings in the blink of an eye like that, it’s got to have some bad effect on them.”
The Coxes live in a $300,000-plus home and could not be reached for comment, according to Journal-News.
Warren County Juvenile Court Judge Joe Kirby said he has never heard of a situation like this.
“Sometimes you need to understand the whole situation. Every time I get a case there is always more to it…,” he said. “No matter what the circumstances are, there is always the other side of the story that just kind of turns things around.”
Read more: http://www.newsnet5.com/dpp/news/state/cleveland-and-lisa-cox-retur...
Edited by rodeomom3 2013-11-16 1:12 PM
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  Fact Checker
Posts: 16575
 
Location: Displaced Iowegian | Some things just make you want to shake your head.........I hope they prosecute them! | |
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 No Tune in a Bucket
Posts: 2935
Location: Texas | In one account that I read, it mentioned that he threatened to kill other family members. I don't know how you handle that. Just a sad situation for all involved. | |
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | What a sad sad thing to happen to a 9 year boy  | |
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 Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | Reading the article, it doesnt give enough info to form an opinion about what's going on, but what does the value of their house have to do with anything? | |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 1119
| Three 4 Luck - 2013-11-16 8:10 PM Reading the article, it doesnt give enough info to form an opinion about what's going on, but what does the value of their house have to do with anything?
Amen! | |
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 Water Weight Barbie
Posts: 6829
Location: Oz, Kansas | Who knows what other avenues these parents have taken. This could have been a drug baby that was never diagnosed. There are no winners in this situation. | |
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 Keeper of the King Snake
Posts: 7622
Location: Dubach, LA | Please don't judge these parents. None of us know what the family has suffered. This may be the best thing for the boy. | |
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Location: In my own little world | CanCan - 2013-11-16 9:44 PM Please don't judge these parents. None of us know what the family has suffered. This may be the best thing for the boy.
I totally agree that this may well be the best thing for this child, and for the other children in the home as well. Having worked with many children that have a diagnosed condition such as reactive attachment disorder and can not bond with anyone or anything, bipolar disorder, etc many issues can arise that make it unsafe for everyone. There just isn't enough information here to be able to make an informed opinion on whether it is right or wrong. As far as the child refusing help, there may be an easy explanation. He may receive counseling services but refuse to communicate with anyone. They are going through the motion only. I have been around small children this same age who have made me quite nervous and I never turned my back on them because I knew they were capable of stabbing me in the back, walking out and never thinking twice about what they did as being wrong. Some children have such deep rooted issues that it is unbelievable.
Unforunately some children are born with a lot of baggage, not by choice, that may never be overcome. Crack babies, fetal alcohol sydrome, the list goes on and on. The blame is not on the child, or adoptive parents or caregivers, but the birth parent that did the horrible things that may have led to this poor child having to live life with all the demons that come with it. And maybe that is not the case with this child either but that is the issue with many children adopted or not. | |
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| Sounds like they need to take some parenting classes. I agree with this statment 100%: “A parent is a parent and a 9-year-old is a 9-year-old. If your 9-year-old needs help, you get him help. It is not a question of a 9-year-old wanting it or not.” | |
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Veteran
Posts: 196
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The information seems a bit sketchy, if they have other kids what purpose would be served by sending the parents to jail? Kids really can be incorrigible little monsters, and the laws sure don't support parents disciplining them. What if he really is dangerous to the other children?
My friend has an autistic daughter who is brilliant and fairly high functioning. In fact brilliant enough to score zero on all academic testing quite deliberately. Forcing her to do anything against her will would be impossible, manipulating her is unsuccessful, just ask the collection of experts who have tried... this child can be angelic or wildly dangerous at the flip of a switch. Her mother has done an amazing job as a caregiver, but this girl will never be able to live independently.
So my reaction is to reserve judgement on these parents without knowing the full story, we might not walk so well in their shoes. It seems pretty desperate to give a child back after caring for him nine years. | |
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| ropenrun - 2013-11-16 11:30 PM
CanCan - 2013-11-16 9:44 PM Please don't judge these parents. None of us know what the family has suffered. This may be the best thing for the boy.
I totally agree that this may well be the best thing for this child, and for the other children in the home as well. Having worked with many children that have a diagnosed condition such as reactive attachment disorder and can not bond with anyone or anything, bipolar disorder, etc many issues can arise that make it unsafe for everyone. There just isn't enough information here to be able to make an informed opinion on whether it is right or wrong. As far as the child refusing help, there may be an easy explanation. He may receive counseling services but refuse to communicate with anyone. They are going through the motion only. I have been around small children this same age who have made me quite nervous and I never turned my back on them because I knew they were capable of stabbing me in the back, walking out and never thinking twice about what they did as being wrong. Some children have such deep rooted issues that it is unbelievable.
Unforunately some children are born with a lot of baggage, not by choice, that may never be overcome. Crack babies, fetal alcohol sydrome, the list goes on and on. The blame is not on the child, or adoptive parents or caregivers, but the birth parent that did the horrible things that may have led to this poor child having to live life with all the demons that come with it. And maybe that is not the case with this child either but that is the issue with many children adopted or not.
Well said by both of you and so true ...
Protecting the other members of the family comes first and the legal system is too ready to prosecute parents for just about anything while they are letting murderers and rapists go ... .... PARENTS ARE EASY TARGETS AND INEXPERIENCED IN THE COURT SYSTEM SO THE GOVERNMENT LAWYERS JUMP ON THEM TO GET ANOTHER ILLEGITIMATE WIN ON THEIR RECORDS ... | |
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I Really Love Jeans
Posts: 3173
Location: North Dakota | The kid could have mental problems caused by a number of things, drug use by real mother, or even an inherited mental illness. I would need to hear both sides of the story to really know what to think . The fact that they live in a decent house has nothing to do with it. I commend anyone who can take in a child that is not their biological child, that is something I would never be willing to do. It is a nightmare that he was taken back after 9 years but he was likely destroying the lives of the entire family for them to go to extreme measures. | |
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Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| BARRELHORSE USA - 2013-11-17 2:07 AM ropenrun - 2013-11-16 11:30 PM CanCan - 2013-11-16 9:44 PM Please don't judge these parents. None of us know what the family has suffered. This may be the best thing for the boy. I totally agree that this may well be the best thing for this child, and for the other children in the home as well. Having worked with many children that have a diagnosed condition such as reactive attachment disorder and can not bond with anyone or anything, bipolar disorder, etc many issues can arise that make it unsafe for everyone. There just isn't enough information here to be able to make an informed opinion on whether it is right or wrong. As far as the child refusing help, there may be an easy explanation. He may receive counseling services but refuse to communicate with anyone. They are going through the motion only. I have been around small children this same age who have made me quite nervous and I never turned my back on them because I knew they were capable of stabbing me in the back, walking out and never thinking twice about what they did as being wrong. Some children have such deep rooted issues that it is unbelievable.
Unforunately some children are born with a lot of baggage, not by choice, that may never be overcome. Crack babies, fetal alcohol sydrome, the list goes on and on. The blame is not on the child, or adoptive parents or caregivers, but the birth parent that did the horrible things that may have led to this poor child having to live life with all the demons that come with it. And maybe that is not the case with this child either but that is the issue with many children adopted or not. Well said by both of you and so true ... Protecting the other members of the family comes first and the legal system is too ready to prosecute parents for just about anything while they are letting murderers and rapists go ... .... PARENTS ARE EASY TARGETS AND INEXPERIENCED IN THE COURT SYSTEM SO THE GOVERNMENT LAWYERS JUMP ON THEM TO GET ANOTHER ILLEGITIMATE WIN ON THEIR RECORDS ...
I don't doubt that this child probably does have some serious issues and maybe drastic measures are needed. However, why not put him in a facility where he is removed from the family and can get the help he needs. Would you completely wash your hands of a biological child? I think they mentioned the value of the house to show they might have the resources to get him help instead of abandoning him. I don't get giving a 9 year old back at all and walking away. If he is threatening the family you can file a police report and get him in the system where they are forced to get him help. | |
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Tried and True
Posts: 21185
Location: Where I am happiest | From the information givin we dont know the whole story. It does sound like the child has some very deep seated issues. Now to what extents the parents went to to get this child the help he needed I do not know, but, there has to be somewhere the parents can turn to for help to keep themselves and their other children safe. Especially in light of the threats made. Obviously this wasnt a light dicision for those parents.
There was just a recient case in Washington State 2 parents who were just sentenced to 35 years in prisen for the death of their adopted daughter by abuse. They appearantly thought they had no where to turn and this death came by way of parenting gone wrong in a big way. Certainly not condoning their parenting choices, but.......It would have been better for ALL involved, the adopted daughter, the other children, and the 2 parents if they could have turned to someone. Back to the adoption agency or something.
Back to this case, how many caes have their been of adoptive families and/or parents being murdered by the adopted children? | |
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Fact Checker
Posts: 16575
Location: Displaced Iowegian | rodeomom3 - 2013-11-17 7:43 AM BARRELHORSE USA - 2013-11-17 2:07 AM ropenrun - 2013-11-16 11:30 PM CanCan - 2013-11-16 9:44 PM Please don't judge these parents. None of us know what the family has suffered. This may be the best thing for the boy. I totally agree that this may well be the best thing for this child, and for the other children in the home as well. Having worked with many children that have a diagnosed condition such as reactive attachment disorder and can not bond with anyone or anything, bipolar disorder, etc many issues can arise that make it unsafe for everyone. There just isn't enough information here to be able to make an informed opinion on whether it is right or wrong. As far as the child refusing help, there may be an easy explanation. He may receive counseling services but refuse to communicate with anyone. They are going through the motion only. I have been around small children this same age who have made me quite nervous and I never turned my back on them because I knew they were capable of stabbing me in the back, walking out and never thinking twice about what they did as being wrong. Some children have such deep rooted issues that it is unbelievable.
Unforunately some children are born with a lot of baggage, not by choice, that may never be overcome. Crack babies, fetal alcohol sydrome, the list goes on and on. The blame is not on the child, or adoptive parents or caregivers, but the birth parent that did the horrible things that may have led to this poor child having to live life with all the demons that come with it. And maybe that is not the case with this child either but that is the issue with many children adopted or not. Well said by both of you and so true ... Protecting the other members of the family comes first and the legal system is too ready to prosecute parents for just about anything while they are letting murderers and rapists go ... .... PARENTS ARE EASY TARGETS AND INEXPERIENCED IN THE COURT SYSTEM SO THE GOVERNMENT LAWYERS JUMP ON THEM TO GET ANOTHER ILLEGITIMATE WIN ON THEIR RECORDS ...
^^^^THIS..........they CHOSE to adopt this child....you can't "give back" your biological child and NO WHERE should it be legal to just give back an adopted child, regardless of the health or mental problems. I would "assume" that the mention of the house value was to prove that they could FINANCIALLY support this child (which they swore to when they adopted him) rather than forcing the state and TAX PAYERS to support him.
I find it strange that there are so many of you who are opposed to welfare and using tax payer money but have no problem with this family "dropping" this child into the "tax payer" funded system. | |
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 Dog Resuce Agent
Posts: 3459
Location: southeast Texas | To bad this liberal press didn't report the rest of the story.
A while back I worked with a man that put in an elaborate alarm system with motion detectors. Locked his and his "Other" children in their rooms at night all because of one dangerous child they had. The kid had phiscally stabed his mother and threatened the step father and other siblings/stepsiblings. All the help they had tried to get this child did not help. The only medication that worked was one to keep the preteen child, knocked out.
He was scared of this kid......
Edited by roxieannie 2013-11-17 8:14 AM
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Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | NJJ - 2013-11-17 8:11 AM
rodeomom3 - 2013-11-17 7:43 AM BARRELHORSE USA - 2013-11-17 2:07 AM ropenrun - 2013-11-16 11:30 PM CanCan - 2013-11-16 9:44 PM Please don't judge these parents. None of us know what the family has suffered. This may be the best thing for the boy. I totally agree that this may well be the best thing for this child, and for the other children in the home as well. Having worked with many children that have a diagnosed condition such as reactive attachment disorder and can not bond with anyone or anything, bipolar disorder, etc many issues can arise that make it unsafe for everyone. There just isn't enough information here to be able to make an informed opinion on whether it is right or wrong. As far as the child refusing help, there may be an easy explanation. He may receive counseling services but refuse to communicate with anyone. They are going through the motion only. I have been around small children this same age who have made me quite nervous and I never turned my back on them because I knew they were capable of stabbing me in the back, walking out and never thinking twice about what they did as being wrong. Some children have such deep rooted issues that it is unbelievable.
Unforunately some children are born with a lot of baggage, not by choice, that may never be overcome. Crack babies, fetal alcohol sydrome, the list goes on and on. The blame is not on the child, or adoptive parents or caregivers, but the birth parent that did the horrible things that may have led to this poor child having to live life with all the demons that come with it. And maybe that is not the case with this child either but that is the issue with many children adopted or not. Well said by both of you and so true ... Protecting the other members of the family comes first and the legal system is too ready to prosecute parents for just about anything while they are letting murderers and rapists go ... .... PARENTS ARE EASY TARGETS AND INEXPERIENCED IN THE COURT SYSTEM SO THE GOVERNMENT LAWYERS JUMP ON THEM TO GET ANOTHER ILLEGITIMATE WIN ON THEIR RECORDS ...
I find it strange that there are so many of you who are opposed to welfare and using tax payer money but have no problem with this family "dropping" this child into the "tax payer" funded system.
I never said I was ok with it, but I won't rush to judgement from reading an article with very little information. | |
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Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| NJJ - 2013-11-17 8:11 AM rodeomom3 - 2013-11-17 7:43 AM BARRELHORSE USA - 2013-11-17 2:07 AM ropenrun - 2013-11-16 11:30 PM CanCan - 2013-11-16 9:44 PM Please don't judge these parents. None of us know what the family has suffered. This may be the best thing for the boy. I totally agree that this may well be the best thing for this child, and for the other children in the home as well. Having worked with many children that have a diagnosed condition such as reactive attachment disorder and can not bond with anyone or anything, bipolar disorder, etc many issues can arise that make it unsafe for everyone. There just isn't enough information here to be able to make an informed opinion on whether it is right or wrong. As far as the child refusing help, there may be an easy explanation. He may receive counseling services but refuse to communicate with anyone. They are going through the motion only. I have been around small children this same age who have made me quite nervous and I never turned my back on them because I knew they were capable of stabbing me in the back, walking out and never thinking twice about what they did as being wrong. Some children have such deep rooted issues that it is unbelievable.
Unforunately some children are born with a lot of baggage, not by choice, that may never be overcome. Crack babies, fetal alcohol sydrome, the list goes on and on. The blame is not on the child, or adoptive parents or caregivers, but the birth parent that did the horrible things that may have led to this poor child having to live life with all the demons that come with it. And maybe that is not the case with this child either but that is the issue with many children adopted or not. Well said by both of you and so true ... Protecting the other members of the family comes first and the legal system is too ready to prosecute parents for just about anything while they are letting murderers and rapists go ... .... PARENTS ARE EASY TARGETS AND INEXPERIENCED IN THE COURT SYSTEM SO THE GOVERNMENT LAWYERS JUMP ON THEM TO GET ANOTHER ILLEGITIMATE WIN ON THEIR RECORDS ...
I find it strange that there are so many of you who are opposed to welfare and using tax payer money but have no problem with this family "dropping" this child into the "tax payer" funded system.
Edited by rodeomom3 2013-11-17 9:06 AM
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Keeper of the King Snake
Posts: 7622
Location: Dubach, LA | Okay, so some of you are determined to stone this couple. Just shows that you don't understand mental illness or our health system. It is almost impossible to get help for the dangerously mentally ill. Insurance plays out and no one will help. Police will lock them up for a day or two. Hospitals will restrain, admit, and then treat and street them. This 9 year old child could be truly dangerous. I remember reading an essay written after a school shooting. The mom/author was raising a child that she understood to be capable of killing and she had no help with him. I'm off to see if I can find that essay. | |
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