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 Money Eating Baggage Owner
Posts: 9586
   
Location: Phoenix | Really bummed right now. Ever since I moved away, I feel like I have no friends. I don't have any friends here, and I work a lot, but I've kept in touch with my main friends back home. But I feel like I'm the only one who tries and makes am effort. Two of my friends have gotten married and I figured I'd be a bridesmaid as we've been friends forever and we lived together....nope! Not even one of my friends who I would consider one of my closest friends. Hell, I set her up with her fiancé! It's so frustrating. I flew up for her bridal party! I'm not going to bother with the bachelorette party....And it's not like I'm a bad friend. I'd drop anything to help them....I feel like I'm a pretty loyal person. I think the main reason I don't want to plan a wedding is because I would t have any friends to put in the bridal party. So pathetic. Anyone else feel this way? Or am I the only loser? Thanks for hearing about my pity party.....
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 Expert
Posts: 2492
| I'm right there with you. I work long hours on rotating shifts so I can hardly tell you what my plans are for tomorrow let alone a week from now. I do have friends, but not any close friends. Most of my friends that I have had for many years have moved on with their personal lives and we see each other only once or twice a year. I'm not the best friend, I'm really bad about calling and getting together all of the time, but most of my friends don't even put in that little bit of effort. I usually vacation with my parents. Thankfully I don't mind spending a lot of time alone and I am an introvert. It still sucks though. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1064
Location: Idaho | I'm totally with you. I got engaged in October and I can only think of one friend to be my bridesmaid. I would consider her to be my best friend but she flakes out on me often. I think I might hire some girls to even it out! Lol |
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 Chicken Chick
Posts: 3562
Location: Texas | I have 1 friend. She has been my best friend since the 4th grade and I am 26 now.
The problem with friendships is me. I don't make many friends because I keep to myself, I am not outgoing, and I will talk to you if you talk to me but I get nervous and it is usually a short conversation so I don't make a fool out of myself.
Which is odd because on the internet I can go on and on. I think it is because I can go back and read what I write to make sure I am not sticking my foot in my mouth (usually) before I push submit. In person, everything just comes out wrong so I quit trying lol. If I am around someone enough to get comfortable, I lighten up and then I will talk their ear off... I usually don't get that far though. I am doomed to a small friend circle for the rest of my life.
Edited by pinx05 2013-12-11 10:48 PM
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 Expert
Posts: 2041
Location: home for the winter...what a dumb idea | Yup same here moved to CO two years ago have maybe 2 friends here they are both older ladys. I have not met anyone my age who wants to hang out with a 25 year old an her year old son. My SO works long hour out of town. We only see each other on weekends. I can't aford to rodeo or even jackpot.....it sucks... |
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Red Bull Agressive
Posts: 5981
Location: North Dakota |
I am exactly in the same boat as you. Between college, work, and horses, I have no time or desire to socialize. I keep in touch with my friends from home and spend time with my family. My sister and I are 5 years apart but we are best friends.
I've tried to make friends with coworkers but I am always the one putting all the effrt into trying to get together, and I'm just tired of it. |
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Money Eating Baggage Owner
Posts: 9586
Location: Phoenix | Glad I'm not the only one. I'm always down to meet up and hang out...but nobody else puts in the effort. That's how I lost best friend since childhood.
My grandma has a group of friends who have been friends since they were young adults. They meet up every Thursday, and take avacationtogether EVERY year. I WANT that soooo badly. Just doesn't seem to be in the cards..... |
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 Always Off Topic
Posts: 6382
Location: ND | now look at all the friends you guys have found... |
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Chicken Chick
Posts: 3562
Location: Texas | dhdqhllc - 2013-12-11 11:43 PM now look at all the friends you guys have found...
lol Give me a minute... I can mess that up quick style  |
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 Bit O Holic
Posts: 6448
Location: hot, humid and dry...Gulf coast East of Houston.. | I have very few people I talk to on a personal basis that I would say are friends. I keep to myself. Someone told me that I am a cyber butterfly/ reality loner.. and its somewhat true. Most people annoy the crud out of me, and I have a way of acidentally piffing people off by my bluntness... It gets mistaken for rudeness. I just cant help it sometimes, if I think it, it comes out before I have a chance to put it in a more gentle term.. |
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 Sunflower Seed Addict
Posts: 1416
Location: Amarillo, Texas | I am definitely with you! I moved away from home to go to school and it seems like my two very good friends don't make any effort to keep in touch. I call probably 6 times to every 1 time they call me. I know this happens when we "grow up", but I go to a very small small school with a lot of cliques due to sports and that makes the pickins slim to find some good girl friends! Although recently, I started my Mary Kay business and I'm meeting SO many neat women in my area!
Edited by BarrelBombshell 2013-12-12 12:22 AM
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 1118
Location: The South | I'm the same way. I had friends in school, and I have friends that I ride with, but no one that I would call a 'best friend'. I've always been an introvert and I'm fine just hanging out with my husband at home. He has his hunting buddies, but he doesn't go hang out at people's houses so I guess he's an introvert too.
As for the bridesmaid situation...here's what we did...didn't have any!!! No groomsmen either. The area we stood at during our ceremony was kind of tight quarters so there was just room for us and the officiant so it worked out great. My school friends said they were so relieved to just go to a wedding and eat and be merry without having to buy a dress they'll never wear again. So that's always an option :)
Good luck with your planning, try not to get too stressed out  |
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Chicken Chick
Posts: 3562
Location: Texas | BarrelBombshell - 2013-12-12 12:19 AM I am definitely with you! I moved away from home to go to school and it seems like my two very good friends don't make any effort to keep in touch. I call probably 6 times to every 1 time they call me. I know this happens when we "grow up", but I go to a very small small school with a lot of cliques due to sports and (lucky me  ) there are hardly any girls on our rodeo team! It makes it very hard to make friends and I'm getting tired of being one of the guys! Although recently, I started my Mary Kay business and I'm meeting SO many neat women in my area!
I would rather hang out with the guys any day. That is what is awesome about my best friend, I am really the only girl she hangs out with... all the rest are guys. Not much drama with guys, I like it that way lol. Well a couple of drunken fights but back to being buddies when they sober up. |
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Sunflower Seed Addict
Posts: 1416
Location: Amarillo, Texas | pinx05 - 2013-12-11 11:21 AM BarrelBombshell - 2013-12-12 12:19 AM I am definitely with you! I moved away from home to go to school and it seems like my two very good friends don't make any effort to keep in touch. I call probably 6 times to every 1 time they call me. I know this happens when we "grow up", but I go to a very small small school with a lot of cliques due to sports and (lucky me ) there are hardly any girls on our rodeo team! It makes it very hard to make friends and I'm getting tired of being one of the guys! Although recently, I started my Mary Kay business and I'm meeting SO many neat women in my area!
Lol! That is so true, but sometimes it is nice to have at least one girl friend to talk about..... welll... girl stuff! All the boys call me "Momma Jane" because I'm always the voice of reason, keeping them in line, and cooking "family dinners"- I draw the line at doing their laundry though! |
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Chicken Chick
Posts: 3562
Location: Texas | BarrelBombshell - 2013-12-12 12:26 AM pinx05 - 2013-12-11 11:21 AM BarrelBombshell - 2013-12-12 12:19 AM I am definitely with you! I moved away from home to go to school and it seems like my two very good friends don't make any effort to keep in touch. I call probably 6 times to every 1 time they call me. I know this happens when we "grow up", but I go to a very small small school with a lot of cliques due to sports and (lucky me ) there are hardly any girls on our rodeo team! It makes it very hard to make friends and I'm getting tired of being one of the guys! Although recently, I started my Mary Kay business and I'm meeting SO many neat women in my area!
I just let them do what they want, then the next morning I ask "Do you think maybe you shouldn't have drank so much? Your truck wouldn't have dents in it from your head and his 4 wheeler wouldn't have gotten run over.... by your truck." Makes for fun stories later I guess. They have all grown up now and there hasn't been a fight in a long time, but we have plenty of stories! |
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Sunflower Seed Addict
Posts: 1416
Location: Amarillo, Texas | pinx05 - 2013-12-11 11:29 AM BarrelBombshell - 2013-12-12 12:26 AM pinx05 - 2013-12-11 11:21 AM BarrelBombshell - 2013-12-12 12:19 AM I am definitely with you! I moved away from home to go to school and it seems like my two very good friends don't make any effort to keep in touch. I call probably 6 times to every 1 time they call me. I know this happens when we "grow up", but I go to a very small small school with a lot of cliques due to sports and (lucky me ) there are hardly any girls on our rodeo team! It makes it very hard to make friends and I'm getting tired of being one of the guys! Although recently, I started my Mary Kay business and I'm meeting SO many neat women in my area!
ETA: oops sorry OP... a little OT!!
Edited by BarrelBombshell 2013-12-12 12:37 AM
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| Your best and long term friends are made in high school or college when everyone is BROKE. You will share a 6 pak, a pizza or go buy cheap burgers together. ... even a bowl of cheerios or your 10 for a dollar noodles ... lol
Once everyone graduates and gets jobs you scatter like a covey of quail ... as time passes you will find jealousy will raise its ugly head towards those that appear to be doing the best financially or made new friends in their new town or city.
I have owned real estate offices and trained lots of very nice intelligent people and found none of them knew how to be happy for someone else's success(s). I would have training classes whoop and holler, stomp their feet, clap their hands and turn to their neighbor in class and say... "I am so happy that you made that sale, closing or listing and we are all very proud of you" ..... some would mumble some would fumble and I would make them raise the volume until they sounded like they really meant it ... lol
In Houston Tx .. you could have 15-20 agents and turn them into professionals .... In Tulsa Ok .. you needed 120-150 wannabe real estate agents because each neighborhood or agent had a certain social life they adhered to of about 50-100 people ... whether it was country clubs, womens clubs, churches or work place friends that hung together.
If you look at your grandmother or others that have a number of friends ... they usually are involved with church, clubs or like the regular weekly meeting that becomes a must happen event ........ You have to do the same as grandmother to make new friends or new acquaintances you grow to like .. then invite them to meet for lunch or to go to some event together. ... etc etc ...
It used to be an after work drink ... you could call or tell anyone you knew that everyone was going to the Creek down on Greenville for happy hour and end up with 20-40 people as a group... that you barely knew ... but it gave you the chance to get to know the ones you wanted to ... and leave in an hour with phone numbers or see you next week type of thing ....... I feel sorry for you young people today on finding opportunities to meet people ...
My old friends are busy dying off or so boring with their constant details on how many pills they are taking, recent detailed surgeries, pains and aches or past and future doctor appointments ... lol ... None of us can ride the cutters, reiners, or pony horses anymore so there is no longer that belonging to a bunch of idiots having fun together anymore ...
Some of them have gotten mad at me for selling them a colt that runs out some good money for them and makes the horses they raised/bred themselves look like dinks ... I laugh and offer to sell them another one they like but end up selling them to total strangers ... then 6 months later they say they thought they had that colt bought ... .. not until you show me some money ... lol ...
I think the way people think has really changed with Political Correctness ... it seems like to me everyone spends all their time running around trying to get their feelings hurt or dissing someone that has done them no harm ...
My horses and dawgs are always happy to see me and 2 of my neighbors wave when we see each other and people I call friends live 30 miles away .. .... so guess it all fits the times we live in ...
KEEP SMILING AND BE HAPPY AND PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK WHEN YOU NEED TO... LOL ..
Edited by BARRELHORSE USA 2013-12-12 12:54 AM
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1034
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I'm sure if you asked, your friend would tell you she didn't want to burden you with travel costs and that was why you aren't part if the wedding party.
Moving sucks. I have very few friends in my 'new' town I've lived in five + years. Oh well. Happy at home! |
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 Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | LindsayJordan84 - 2013-12-12 12:21 AM
I'm the same way. I had friends in school, and I have friends that I ride with, but no one that I would call a 'best friend'. I've always been an introvert and I'm fine just hanging out with my husband at home. He has his hunting buddies, but he doesn't go hang out at people's houses so I guess he's an introvert too.
 Same boat. I had several good friends in school, and we're still friends, but they moved away. We all have young families and we rarely see each other--every time we try to make plans for a get-together or vacation together, something is going on with somebody's family and it falls through. I'm sort of friends with a couple of wives of my husband's friends, but we're not close, just enjoy hanging out when the guys do something. I have some pretty good horse friends, but they are all 1-2 hours away. If I want to go to a movie or out to eat with the girls, I call my mom and sister. I have nothing in common with girls around here...totally awkward conversations when we try. |
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 The Bird Lady
Posts: 6440
Location: The end of the Earth, SE AR | I feel your pain, but after 30 years of being this way - since college - I guess I'm used to it. I'm not easy to get to know, I have a weird sense of humor, and I'm socially awkward at least I feel that way. My best friend is my sister who is hundreds of miles away, and the total opposite of me. I have a few friends an hour or two away but we don't see each other enough to really appreciate each other. I guess it may be my fault, I am a homebody when I don't have to work. They say "to have a friend you have to be a friend" and I'm not sure I'm good at being one. Growing up, it seemed like my friends were all takers, not givers and I got burned alot by what I didn't realize were "mean girls".
I have to say that I was totally shocked and totally overjoyed and honored by a BB who I respect but rarely comunicate with who sent me a Thanksgiving message thanking me for all I do. It was a short very unexpected message that put me on an emotional high way above the clouds. I am going to take a New Years Resolution lesson from this special person and learn to reach out to others and let them know that the things they do and the way they are is special and appreciated. And then I'll crawl back into my shell LOL |
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