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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 724
 
| Work very long hours, like 60-70 hours week, 6 days a week.
Now I'm not saying I don't like it and im happy he has a good job, but how do you juggle kids, horses, barrel racing and such without the help of your husband? My kids are getting to the age they aren't thrilled about going to the barn anymore and they are too young to leave alone. What about barrel races? I only have one person that can watch them and they aren't readily available all the time. Sometimes I feel like I should think like a single mom, but if I truly was a single mom I wouldn't have so many horses and I wouldn't race much. I'm just needing some insight, this is all pretty new to me. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1034
 
| How old are your kids? |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 814
Location: Central California | Hang in there it can be done. My husband works out of state and is only home every other weekend and sometimes not that much. I raised our now almost 20 yr old son and kept up with 30 acres pretty well over the years.
Yes there were times when I thought things could have been easier and times when I could not wait for him to come home and help and then again times when I wished he would just hop on the plane and go back, LOL.
I learned to do what I could when I could do it and to not feel guilty if I didn't get something done.
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 Always Off Topic
Posts: 6382
Location: ND | that poor guy..... |
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  Warmblood with Wings
Posts: 27846
Location: Florida.. | he must be exhausted when he gets home. |
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 More bootie than waist!
Posts: 18425
Location: Riding Crackhead. | My BFF and I had a saying years ago that we still use to this day. Blow your nose and shut up. If your hubby is busting his hump working that hard to support you, your family and your horse habit then you need to put your big girl panties on. Appreciate what he's doing for you. If you need to go to the barn then I guess your kids are going with you. If your going to go barrel racing then I guess the kids are going with you there too. My husband has always been hard working and spent most of the past 20 years driving semi so he was never home when our kids were small. I dealt with it. |
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 Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | Easy guys! She's just looking for tips on ways to juggle everything! I don't have kids, but I know every single mom has struggled with their time and planning at some point!
Offer her ideas and suggestions, or just encourage her and let her know it can be done because she is obviously feeling very overwhelmed!
Sorry OP, I can't offer advice as I don't have kids. I have a husband who works that many hours or more, but no kids to juggle. |
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 I'm Here!!
Posts: 4583
Location: Is it Summer Yet? | Have no advice for a husband that works that many hours or away but I am a single mom. Money is very tight so I don't go to any barrel races. When I drag my son along to go riding, I bring toys and a horse for him. He can then do whatever he wants, he can ride for 5 minutes then go play, then ride again. Riding is actually really easy for us.
However I like to go to crossfit, that is a little more difficult, he doesn't like it, it's boring to him. Crossfit is right after hockey practice so it's even more difficult cause he's tired. If he's going to bahave badly so no one else wants to be there, I just don't go. I always ask him if I get to go to crossfit. If he says no, I say that's fine, no public skating for you tomorrow night. I don't get to go to crossfit, he doesn't get to go skating, he still gets hockey practice cause I had to pay for that. Only took missing a few skating times and he realized what was going on and I get to go to crossfit. I won't fight with him and make him go cause then he's just going to be bad there. |
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Warmblood with Wings
Posts: 27846
Location: Florida.. | my mom would go with me . and or come help out then the kids started school and made it easier.. grooms are nice to have around to entertain them sometimes to. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 724
| Thank you everyone that actually can read my post, obviously the ones that "think" I don't appreciate my husband working long hours can't read cause clearly that's not what I was implying. Don't be ridiculous.
Everyone else, thanks! I'll try yout suggestions, the no crossfit no hockey thing is a really good idea. I'll have to do something of the sort when that time comes. It seems like I'm getting more and more used to it, but its nice hearing others that juggle the horses and kids at the same time and what things they've done to make thing easier or run smoother. It's definatly a new ball park, I'm used to the normal 40 hour weeks and riding when hubby gets home. He's always more than happy to babysit while I ride (THANK GOD!).
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Expert
Posts: 1543
Location: MI | My kids are young, almost 2, 4, and 6. I haven't barrel raced much since they were born, and my husband can work from home, but I pretty much always watch the kids. But anyway, with the older kids, if they start to get an attitude about coming along on something or behaving while I am doing something, I remind them about all I do so that they can do x, y, and z. They can either behave, or have additional household chores (they really love folding clothes, not :) at home if they don't they think need their mom. I try to emphasize working like a team, so we can get everything done we need to so all can have fun.
(Ps - and no offense meant by this at all, but the start of the thread, "husbands that..." might have made it sound like you were resenting your husband a little for the hours he works. NoT saying that is the case at all, just saying that it was a little tough initially to see your question at first).
Oh, and we did pick up a babysitter mini a month ago too, that I don't have to worry about the kids being around. I'm hoping they'll have fun with her this spring and summer while I'm riding! |
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 Goat Giver
Posts: 23166
| CYA Ranch - 2013-12-27 10:17 PM My BFF and I had a saying years ago that we still use to this day. Blow your nose and shut up. If your hubby is busting his hump working that hard to support you, your family and your horse habit then you need to put your big girl panties on. Appreciate what he's doing for you. If you need to go to the barn then I guess your kids are going with you. If your going to go barrel racing then I guess the kids are going with you there too. My husband has always been hard working and spent most of the past 20 years driving semi so he was never home when our kids were small. I dealt with it.
Agree, I've been working 60-70, for a while husband was working longer hours than I. Necessary if the horses were going to eat and bills be paid. I have not ridden but about 3 times in the last year. The OP needs to be glad she gets to even see her horses. Somedays, I leave before daylight and get home after dark..............Even with the new job when you count drive time, I will be away from home about 60 hours each week. Waiting for longer days, not so patient either. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 724
| kmcsunshine - 2013-12-28 5:23 AM
CYA Ranch - 2013-12-27 10:17 PM My BFF and I had a saying years ago that we still use to this day. Blow your nose and shut up. If your hubby is busting his hump working that hard to support you, your family and your horse habit then you need to put your big girl panties on. Appreciate what he's doing for you. If you need to go to the barn then I guess your kids are going with you. If your going to go barrel racing then I guess the kids are going with you there too. My husband has always been hard working and spent most of the past 20 years driving semi so he was never home when our kids were small. I dealt with it.
Agree, I've been working 60-70, for a while husband was working longer hours than I. Necessary if the horses were going to eat and bills be paid. I have not ridden but about 3 times in the last year. The OP needs to be glad she gets to even see her horses. Somedays, I leave before daylight and get home after dark..............Even with the new job when you count drive time, I will be away from home about 60 hours each week. Waiting for longer days, not so patient either.
I am not complaining! I'm wondering what other moms do! Seriously people, do I have to write a disclaimer with everthing I say? Why does everybody have to assume I am not appreciative. I'm defiantly not asking for serious advice here anymore, everyone takes it negatively. |
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I Will Not Keep Silent
Posts: 1922
Location: GA | For me it just worked out somehow. I had to be very creative. I was riding outside horses when my kids were young and I remember sometimes when my husband got home at dark, the kids were in the bed I would strap lights to my head and off I went. I also had a lighted pen later on. Of course my kids we riding by the time they could sit up it seemed and that helped during the day. At barrel races the moms always seemed to have the support. I remember one of my friends became a parent to her young grandchildren and she always made it to the barrel races. At a 3 day show I recall taking my turn watching them in their play pen.
It can be done you just have to buckle down and make it work somehow. Also it will all pay off in the end. I have my freedom now to do what I want thanks to my husband's long hours way back when, so does he.
Good luck! |
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| Even when I was married, my husband never helped with the kids, horses or household/yard, so I always did everything plus hold an outside job. My mom worked full-time also and would not watch the kids if it was for horse related activities. My family was not supportive of the horse stuff at all even though my husband was horsey also.
I put the kids on horses and they rode with me. I've also set them in an area I could watch from horseback. I've even hired a babysitter to go to the horse shows with me and the kids. Some other things to help with time: cook up a week's worth of meals at one time and freeze them until needed; find another horsey friend that you can switch off and on watching kids or get together to ride and both of you watching kids; depending on their ages, tire them out in the mornings so they take an afternoon nap; get an ipad or something with games they only get to use while you are riding.
Good luck. |
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I Need a Xanax!
Posts: 2774
| I am in the same boat as you...my hubby works all the time and I don't have relatives close to watch the kids so childcare has always been up to me alone 24/7/365. My kids are only 16 months apart so when I had a newborn and another baby just over a year old I'll be honest, I was a little resentful of my husband for "getting" to go to work 12 hours per day then just come home, eat supper, and go to bed. But now my kids are 4 and 5 and my attitude is totally different...now I am thankful I am so blessed to be able to stay home with my kids all day every day while he's out busting his tail to put food on the table. I only try to ride one horse per day and sometimes that doesn't happen either but its really not that important...I spend a lot of my time helping the kids with their ponies and running the kid taxi back and forth to their sports and practices and that takes a LOT of time. I do have several horses but instead of being aggravated that I can't ride them as much as I'd like I just try to be thankful that at least we can afford to keep them and feed them for a few years down the road when I can ride more. As far as the kids not being thrilled about spending time at the barn....so what? I drag mine around doing everything I need to get done on the farm, even though it takes 10 times longer to get anything done, and I could care less whether they are happy about it or not...they arent' going to sit in the house and play video games and get out of work...they are going to be outside right beside me learning how to get things done. Sometimes on the really bad chores they make things miserable but I drag them along and make them help anyway! That's my job as a mom to teach them responsibility and work ethic no matter how inconvenient or aggravating it is. Having kids has changed 99% of my life but I'm ok with everything I have given up because I've already had my day in the spotlight. Now its time for me to spend these few short 18 years trying to develop the best, healthiest, happiest, hardest working young adults possible. No hobby or activity is really that important compared to giving it your all parenting no matter what you have to give up. |
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Location: MT | I get frustrated and feel hopeless as well. The last two years I have gotten to spend very little time on horse back and even less time hauling to rodeos or jackpots. I work a full time job as well as my SO. Guess who has gotten to haul every weekend to rodeos while I stayed home because our youngest is less than 2 years old. That is right, my SO. The traveling/miles with a baby/toddler on top of the fact that I was not able to keep my horses legged up and ready for competition were why I chose to stay home. I was just throwing away entry fees to run an out of shape horse. I could go with, but if I am going to be responsible for a baby/toddler and not get to compete, it is easier to do that at home. My SO kept saying... "Just get someone to watch him while you run" (if we were hauling to different locations). Well, if it was only about finding someone to watch him during the time I made my runs, that would be easy. But, as you all know when you haul or are trying to keep horses competion ready, there is a lot more involved than just the time you make your runs. Our daughters, ages 9 and 11, are also not getting the riding in that they should, because I am not able to get out and help them as often as I should. This in turn means they aren't as good of riders as they could be and are missing out on something that was a major part of my childhood... time on and with my horse. So I understand the OP's plea for help. What do you do be able to ride and compete when you do not have help? No one is saying we do not appreciate our SO and the fact that they are working... we are just looking for pointers or suggestions they may help us get more accomplished with our horses. |
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 Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | When my kids were younger, I rode in an area by the barn and kept toys in the barn, plus our barn cats are gentle and they could spend hours playing with them. Sometimes they would watch TV in the horse trailer too. I didn't get to cover miles as often as I wanted, but at least the horses got ridden. And really really broke. They're 5 and 8 and both in school now, and my 5 year old rides, so life has gotten a lot easier. |
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 Thread Killer
Posts: 7545
| I don't think the op is unappreciative of her husband. Geez. I think she only wants advice on how to juggle all of her responsibilities and hobbies. ...maybe so that he can relax when he gets home because she's got it covered. |
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Always Off Topic
Posts: 6382
Location: ND | kids are such an inconvenience....... |
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