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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 495
 
Location: Washington | We moved and are selling some of the horses since the new house isn't set up to ride and we can use the money to get it ready. One of the horses is one our 2 yr old claims as hers. The sell of this horse would be a big help financially in getting the property horse friendly.
How would you go about explaining it to a kid? She went with us to an event and someone wanted to try him, I hadn't seen her cry that hard in a long time. And that was just someone trying him!
All our animals are on leased land about 20 minutes away. We maybe make it out once a week. But the horse isn't totally out of sight out of mind
How would you go about telling her we sold the horse? |
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  Neat Freak
Posts: 11216
 
Location: Wonderful Wyoming | Tell her the truth. The money is needed for the family to have a house.
Kids need to learn they aren't the only thing in the world. 2 is young, but again, I imagine she will forget about it in a short time. Tell her the horse will make someone else very happy and that it is important to do things for others. |
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 Shipwrecked and Flat Out Zapped
Posts: 16390
Location: DUMPING CATS AND PIGS IN TEXAS :) | I have no children and that is probably for the best, but can you say, "Horsey went to Heaven?" |
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 Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | Tell her you sell horses sometimes but you don't sell your kids. My kids thought for a while that they might get sold if they didn't behave...oops. LOL Other than that, just put it as simply as possible. This nice family needed a good horse like xxxxx, and we needed money so we could make a place for our other horses to live at home, so we sold him to them. He will be taken care of and loved there. Then let the kid process it. |
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Veteran
Posts: 260
Location: Gonzales texas | I would not sell this horse unless it was a last resort. But that's just my humble opinion. As a child of about that age that watched by dog be given to another child, I never forgot her or the feeling /sight of the new family driving away with her. I'm 62!!! I would give up my own horse first. I don't know your situation I'm not criticizing you at all. If the horse is already gone I would just never take her out there again. Maybe she'll forget in time since she didn't see it leave. Best wishes! |
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 Expert
Posts: 1857
| wyoming barrel racer - 2014-01-10 2:02 PM
Tell her the truth. The money is needed for the family to have a house.
Kids need to learn they aren't the only thing in the world. 2 is young, but again, I imagine she will forget about it in a short time. Tell her the horse will make someone else very happy and that it is important to do things for others.
This! Kids are more resilient than we tend to think.
Edited by FlyingJT 2014-01-10 2:09 PM
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 Expert
Posts: 2097
Location: Deep South | wyoming barrel racer - 2014-01-10 2:02 PM
Tell her the truth. The money is needed for the family to have a house.
Kids need to learn they aren't the only thing in the world. 2 is young, but again, I imagine she will forget about it in a short time. Tell her the horse will make someone else very happy and that it is important to do things for others.
I don't have children of my own, but I agree with all of this. |
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Hungarian Midget Woman
Location: Midwest | LRQHS - 2014-01-10 2:05 PM I have no children and that is probably for the best, but can you say, "Horsey went to Heaven?"
My luck I would say this, then we'd see those folks at a show and my kids would be scarred for life with trust issues  |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 495
Location: Washington | We do have other horses she can ride and can hopefully get her switched over. We also have a 5 year old daughter who has a gelding she's been riding since she was 2. I know she fully understands what selling means and would not forget/forgive. That's what makes it hard with the 2 year old. I'm not sure how much she feeds off of/copies older sister.
The sale of the horse would get the horses home by fall, probably a whole year sooner then if we held on to him. We can't justify keeping a horse for a kid to ride a couple times a month. We're not even riding/competing ourselves since there is no place to practice (husband cuts) or keep one conditioned (for barrels). We are selling and will start over when ready. We will keep the stud and other gelding and have two leased mares due to foal this year.
The new house wasn't in the plans. The guy we were buying the old house from (owner contract) let the house go back to the bank. So we got what best suited us, in a pinch, for what we could afford. |
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Shipwrecked and Flat Out Zapped
Posts: 16390
Location: DUMPING CATS AND PIGS IN TEXAS :) | barrelracr131 - 2014-01-10 2:19 PM LRQHS - 2014-01-10 2:05 PM I have no children and that is probably for the best, but can you say, "Horsey went to Heaven?" My luck I would say this, then we'd see those folks at a show and my kids would be scarred for life with trust issues
Well, scratch that then....back to brain storming...... |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1074
| We tell our 4 year old daughter the truth about the animals. I agree it needs to be on their level, but we feel as parents that it is best to be honest with her. She does not forget the animals or what happened to each and every one of them. Good luck with your decisions. I know it is a very hard decision. |
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Veteran
Posts: 260
Location: Gonzales texas | Lopin' Leopard - 2014-01-10 2:25 PM
We do have other horses she can ride and can hopefully get her switched over. We also have a 5 year old daughter who has a gelding she's been riding since she was 2. I know she fully understands what selling means and would not forget/forgive. That's what makes it hard with the 2 year old. I'm not sure how much she feeds off of/copies older sister.
The sale of the horse would get the horses home by fall, probably a whole year sooner then if we held on to him. We can't justify keeping a horse for a kid to ride a couple times a month. We're not even riding/competing ourselves since there is no place to practice (husband cuts) or keep one conditioned (for barrels). We are selling and will start over when ready. We will keep the stud and other gelding and have two leased mares due to foal this year.
The new house wasn't in the plans. The guy we were buying the old house from (owner contract) let the house go back to the bank. So we got what best suited us, in a pinch, for what we could afford.
Well that's a little better take on it since she has something else to move on to. My granddaughter has 'stepped up ' to a younger faster horse several times. It's hard to get the call that the old one passed. But she got the new one first then the old one went to good homes with younger rider. So that helped. When you said she cried so hard that's what got to me!!
You have to do what's best for your family. |
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 Midget Lover
Location: Kentucky | BamaCanChaser - 2014-01-10 3:16 PM wyoming barrel racer - 2014-01-10 2:02 PM Tell her the truth. The money is needed for the family to have a house.
Kids need to learn they aren't the only thing in the world. 2 is young, but again, I imagine she will forget about it in a short time. Tell her the horse will make someone else very happy and that it is important to do things for others. I don't have children of my own, but I agree with all of this.
Edited by Murphy 2014-01-10 2:42 PM
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Cat Collector
Posts: 1430
| Murphy - 2014-01-10 1:42 PM
BamaCanChaser - 2014-01-10 3:16 PM wyoming barrel racer - 2014-01-10 2:02 PM Tell her the truth. The money is needed for the family to have a house.
Kids need to learn they aren't the only thing in the world. 2 is young, but again, I imagine she will forget about it in a short time. Tell her the horse will make someone else very happy and that it is important to do things for others. I don't have children of my own, but I agree with all of this.
agreed. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 495
Location: Washington | Murphy - 2014-01-10 12:42 PM
BamaCanChaser - 2014-01-10 3:16 PM wyoming barrel racer - 2014-01-10 2:02 PM Tell her the truth. The money is needed for the family to have a house.
Kids need to learn they aren't the only thing in the world. 2 is young, but again, I imagine she will forget about it in a short time. Tell her the horse will make someone else very happy and that it is important to do things for others. I don't have children of my own, but I agree with all of this.
Oh no! She's not deciding what we get to keep and sell. I'm just wondering the best way to explain it to her so there are the least amount of hurt feelings and she wont be scarred for life and forgive us lol
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 Forever Young
Posts: 6768
Location: relocated to Texas | shelltc - 2014-01-11 1:07 PM I would not sell this horse unless it was a last resort. But that's just my humble opinion. As a child of about that age that watched by dog be given to another child, I never forgot her or the feeling /sight of the new family driving away with her. I'm 62!!! I would give up my own horse first. I don't know your situation I'm not criticizing you at all. If the horse is already gone I would just never take her out there again. Maybe she'll forget in time since she didn't see it leave. Best wishes!
I agree with this 100%. If you think there is any way that you can explain this to a 2 yr. old and they are going to understand it - you are wrong. The only thing the kid will feel is hurt and loss. I was about 10 yrs old when my horse was sold so that my mom could build a new house. I was devestated and held resentment for a long time over it and would never do that to a child of mine if there were any way to avoid it. |
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Neat Freak
Posts: 11216
Location: Wonderful Wyoming | Lopin' Leopard - 2014-01-10 1:53 PM Murphy - 2014-01-10 12:42 PM BamaCanChaser - 2014-01-10 3:16 PM wyoming barrel racer - 2014-01-10 2:02 PM Tell her the truth. The money is needed for the family to have a house.
Kids need to learn they aren't the only thing in the world. 2 is young, but again, I imagine she will forget about it in a short time. Tell her the horse will make someone else very happy and that it is important to do things for others. I don't have children of my own, but I agree with all of this. Oh no! She's not deciding what we get to keep and sell. I'm just wondering the best way to explain it to her so there are the least amount of hurt feelings and she wont be scarred for life and forgive us lol
Will she have her own room? Or something like that to excite her? I didn't mean you have to be hard with her, but kids appreciate the truth more than we know.
My dad would always tell me how or why my kittens or dog died. He didn't sugar coat it as much as he maybe could have, but he didn't leave a bunch of questions either. When we had to put our stud down, my then 4yr old was wondering about it. I told him how his feet were ruined and he couldn't stand and he couldn't survive laying down all the time. He was upset, but he understood. Same as when a weanling broker her leg and I had to have her shot asap. He knows we don't let critters suffer. Just tell the truth, but don't drag on about it either and make it a big deal. Just my advice. |
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Cat Collector
Posts: 1430
| just a question and i dont mean for it to sound harsh, but how many of you actually remember at 2yrs old, your parents selling anything on you? at 2yrs old would you remember the horse in a few years down the road? There is probably no way to actually explain to her that you need to sell the horse that she will understand, she will be hurt no matter what but i bet she will get over it and not hold a grudge for many years. |
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Expert
Posts: 1857
| Hollywood's Fan - 2014-01-10 2:59 PM
shelltc - 2014-01-11 1:07 PM I would not sell this horse unless it was a last resort. But that's just my humble opinion. As a child of about that age that watched by dog be given to another child, I never forgot her or the feeling /sight of the new family driving away with her. I'm 62!!! I would give up my own horse first. I don't know your situation I'm not criticizing you at all. If the horse is already gone I would just never take her out there again. Maybe she'll forget in time since she didn't see it leave. Best wishes!
I agree with this 100%. If you think there is any way that you can explain this to a 2 yr. old and they are going to understand it - you are wrong. The only thing the kid will feel is hurt and loss. I was about 10 yrs old when my horse was sold so that my mom could build a new house. I was devestated and held resentment for a long time over it and would never do that to a child of mine if there were any way to avoid it.
Children need to learn how to cope with hurt and loss. I'm not saying your view is wrong but we, as parents, can't shield them from pain forever. They need to know that they are going to feel pain and sadness and they need to know that they will still be ok. It's better to teach them these lessons when we are still around to help them through it. She'll claim another horse a few weeks or months, maybe even days, after this and forget about the sadness she felt.
Tell the truth! You might let her be apart of it. Explain that she has a very important job to do, that she needs to let the new owners know what the horse likes and dislikes and since its her horse she can teach them how to ride him. This might help a little. She doesn't need to be there when they actually haul him off. Good luck to the OP it's going to be hard for everyone! |
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Neat Freak
Posts: 11216
Location: Wonderful Wyoming | Hollywood's Fan - 2014-01-10 1:59 PM shelltc - 2014-01-11 1:07 PM I would not sell this horse unless it was a last resort. But that's just my humble opinion. As a child of about that age that watched by dog be given to another child, I never forgot her or the feeling /sight of the new family driving away with her. I'm 62!!! I would give up my own horse first. I don't know your situation I'm not criticizing you at all. If the horse is already gone I would just never take her out there again. Maybe she'll forget in time since she didn't see it leave. Best wishes! I agree with this 100%. If you think there is any way that you can explain this to a 2 yr. old and they are going to understand it - you are wrong. The only thing the kid will feel is hurt and loss. I was about 10 yrs old when my horse was sold so that my mom could build a new house. I was devestated and held resentment for a long time over it and would never do that to a child of mine if there were any way to avoid it.
Why should a family have a financial burdon just so a child doesn't shed tears? Life is not roses, best they learn it young. It won't scar her and cause life long therapy. If it does, there is more going on. Yes it will hurt, but shouldn't cause resentment unless the kiddo is already a little spoiled and thinking her world should never be rocked.
Funny story, I was raised by my dad. I had a cousin a few years older tell me the Easter bunny and Santa all were fake. I asked my dad about it and was old enough he said it was true. So she had imbedded the seed of doubt and trust. She then told me I was adopted. I freaked and asked my dad. He said no (and I am not) but I bet it took a year or so for me to quit wondering. Older kids are nasty lol. Point of the story, I have never needed therapy :) |
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