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 Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
   
Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | My 8 year old son got written up yesterday for reading his library book in class and "ignoring" the teacher when she told him to stop. Honestly, he was so into his book he didn't hear her--I do the same thing. It's one of those double edges swords that helps him excel in school but makes people angry because they think you are ignoring them. He apparently has a habit of this. No surprise because he's a smart kid and I'm sure he gets bored. I got in trouble for doing that all the time from the moment I learned to read on through high school, but my parents were never brought into it. I even hid books behind books. :-)
We have a rule that if you get in trouble at school, you get punished at home, and so he's being punished and I talked to him about learning to deal with his one track mind better. Try to keep an ear open for the teacher. But I also explained that I wasn't mad at him. It's just one of those things you have to learn to deal with.
Meanwhile, the teacher is acting like he did something horrible and wants to have a conference with us and the principal and for him to not be allowed to bring books into her class. Why is this such a big deal? Am I the one under-reacting? IMO, one of the reasons I got the education I did is because I was constantly reading. Novels, reading ahead in text books, reading the back of a cereal box...I'm glad he loves to read and want to encourage that. I'm having a hard time grasping why she feels the need to make a big deal out of the situation. Get after his ass and move on. |
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 Expert
Posts: 3782
 
Location: Gainesville, TX | I agree with you. I think nearly any discouragement of reading is a BAD thing. It is so important to help kids develop. Should he be reminded to pay more attention, sure? Should he be reprimanded for reading? No No No.
Should he be reprimanded by a teacher conference and principal conference? H*ll no! |
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 Experienced Mouse Trapper
Posts: 3106
Location: North Dakota | Make a call to the principle and tell your side of it. I think people love drama. I'd tickled my kid liked to read. Yes, you are working on skills he needs to develop to get through the world, you've addressed the "pay attention" part and that's what counts. I think I'd be hard pressed to punish one of mine at home because they were reading in school, even if it wasn't at the right time. |
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 Hugs to You
Posts: 7551
Location: In The Land of Cotton | I too was and am still a book freak. Frankly, I would be proud that he was lost in the "words". She is over reacting in my opinion. Discipline him and move on. To me this is nothing to go over board on which she is doing. It would be different if he talked back, was ugly, etc., to her.
She is way out there and I would tell her no, that you support her, but she is making way too much out of this and no huge meeting. |
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 Buttered Noodles Snacker
Posts: 4377
Location: NC | I had the same thing happen to me in Middle and High school. I would finish my work early and instead of goofing off like the other students I would read a book. For some reason this ****ED off several of my teachers. One called my mom and I am not sure what she told him but he ended up coming to me later while I was in my last class of the day and apologizing and giving me my book back... hahaha
But really no advice just feel your kids pain!! |
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I Really Love Jeans
Posts: 3173
Location: North Dakota | The schools now have no clue how to teach children! A kid who is known to be a bully kept pushing my son and stepping on his shoes on purpose, my son got tired of it and pushed him back. Guess what my son got in trouble for defending himself. I told the principal directly that if any kid picks on my child he has the right to defend himself. She was mumbling and chewing her words! |
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The Advice Guru
Posts: 6419
| Maybe there is more to it then what you are hearing. A sit down meeting with the teacher, and principal wont be that bad. You can listen to what she has to say, and if you think she is out of line, then you can tell that to both her and the principal |
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 Baby Blue's
Posts: 7306
Location: Texas | Maybe you don't know her side. If it wasn't that big of a deal, she wouldn't be having a conference. Once you get there, if she lays things out to you exactly as you said, THEN make a big deal but unless you've actually talked with her at this point, I'd hear her out. |
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 Good Grief!
Posts: 6343
Location: Cap'n Joan Rotgut.....alberta | teacher needs to drink a tad less coffee...............
m |
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| I think some teachers just want to be really controlling. Had 1 teacher tell me my daughter was "too confident". I put the teacher in her place about that one.
If you have to meet with them, so be it. Explain that he is not deliberately ignoring her and that you have talked to him about this. But don't back down from them either.
Good luck. |
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 Looking for Lady Jockey
Posts: 3747
Location: Rodeos or Baseball games | 
I agree with mruggles.
Edited by GOIN' FAST 2014-01-14 2:47 PM
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 Uh....never mind
Posts: 2696
Location: Midwest Farmer's Daughter: Central Illinois | Are we the same person? Well obviously not, since I only have furry 'kids'...
I hid books behind books. I went to friends' houses to play & read books in the corner. I read books over & over & over & still do.
My mom got a phone call from my kindergarden student teacher. She said that I had refused to read a book she handed out to the class & when she asked me why, I said that I already knew what happened in it. She quizzed me & I answered all of the questions correctly, which didn't make sense to her since this was a book only available to schools, not individuals. She was stumped as to how I could have 'cheated' in reading in kindergarden. Turns out my Godmother (a teacher) had given me that book & I had read it so many times I got tired of it.
I would meet with the teacher & principal. There might be an underlying issue that you aren't aware of or it might be that the teacher is really just throwing a fit for nothing. You won't know unless you go & either way you'll come out the winner because if it's a legit concern you'll be able to work with her & your son but if it's bogus it'll be obvious to you & the principal both.
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My mind still works
Posts: 8912
| I got in trouble for it too. I was known early on as being too into the tv etc so my dad limited the amount I got to watch but he also did it to us all. For the betterment of us kids.
We actually went outside and played. We had an old console tv that you could take the plug off the back. Yup, you guessed it, he'd take it to work with him...lol Then I got into books and actually started using my imagination. Heaven forbid a kid do that know it sounds like. Go to the meeting, listen to what she has to say and then tell her how you feel in a calm professional way. They're going to expect you to blow so stay calm best you can. Maybe suggest he take up smoking instead and see what they say....LOL (kidding of course)
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 To the Left
Posts: 1865
Location: Florida | Me too, find out what the teacher is saying before you jump to conclusions. You only have one side of the story. You don't want to become a helicoptor mom. |
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 Chicken Chick
Posts: 3562
Location: Texas | angelica - 2014-01-14 2:33 PM The schools now have no clue how to teach children! A kid who is known to be a bully kept pushing my son and stepping on his shoes on purpose, my son got tired of it and pushed him back. Guess what my son got in trouble for defending himself. I told the principal directly that if any kid picks on my child he has the right to defend himself. She was mumbling and chewing her words!
My son gets picked on, and he is also the one that comes running to the defense of anyone that is getting picked on, even if that means he may get his butt whooped in the process... he doesn't really seem to care.
I got a call one day this school year from the principle. My son was in trouble because "A boy was getting picked on at recess (basically on the ground getting beat up), and (my son) pulled the kid off of him which resulted in a fight." Apparently a teacher witnessed the whole thing. They tried to put my kid in ISS for fighting. My question to them was "If the teacher that told you this story saw the kid getting picked on, why is my son the one that stopped it and not the teacher? And why is he in trouble for defending someone that wasn't able to defend themselves?" They really didn't have an answer other then he shouldn't have been fighting.
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 Husband Spoiler
Posts: 4151
Location: North Dakota | This reminds of the kid Brick from the TV show "In The Middle"....lol. His dad is always trying to get him to get his head out of his books and experience the real world.
I guess I see the teacher's point of view. Her job is to teach a certain subject and it can be very frustrating when your students are not paying attention. Not only does she have to try to get your kid to pay attention but in doing so she is disrupting the whole classroom by having to stop and get him to pay attention. What if she is teaching something and then goes around asking the students questions and when she gets to your child who is deep into his book that she has to not only ask him more than once but how can she expect him to have any knowledgeable answer if he was not paying attention. Of course reading is a good thing but it has its place. I find it disrespectful for a child to be doing something else while the teacher is trying to teach. I don't think reading a book is any different than playing a video game in class if it has nothing to do with what the teacher is trying to teach.
I put on a few small clinics and I find it very frustrating when some of the kids are not paying attention because I know when it comes to asking them all to do what I was explaining they will not have a clue and I will have to spend extra time with them. But they are paying me to learn what I have to say so either they listen and actually learn or they waste their money...their choice.
Go have the conference and listen to what the teacher has to say. Try to see her point of view. Reading is a good thing and should not be discouraged when done at an appropriate time. I can't imagine your place of work would be fine with you reading a book while in a business conference so I don't see a classroom as being much different. He is there to learn what is being taught. That is his job and while it may be hard to be peeled away from his book during that time he will need to learn to do that. It will show respect to his teacher and classmates. |
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My mind still works
Posts: 8912
| pinx05 - 2014-01-14 2:56 PM angelica - 2014-01-14 2:33 PM The schools now have no clue how to teach children! A kid who is known to be a bully kept pushing my son and stepping on his shoes on purpose, my son got tired of it and pushed him back. Guess what my son got in trouble for defending himself. I told the principal directly that if any kid picks on my child he has the right to defend himself. She was mumbling and chewing her words! My son gets picked on, and he is also the one that comes running to the defense of anyone that is getting picked on, even if that means he may get his butt whooped in the process... he doesn't really seem to care.
I got a call one day this school year from the principle. My son was in trouble because "A boy was getting picked on at recess (basically on the ground getting beat up), and (my son) pulled the kid off of him which resulted in a fight." Apparently a teacher witnessed the whole thing. They tried to put my kid in ISS for fighting. My question to them was "If the teacher that told you this story saw the kid getting picked on, why is my son the one that stopped it and not the teacher? And why is he in trouble for defending someone that wasn't able to defend themselves?" They really didn't have an answer other then he shouldn't have been fighting.
Wow, I think I would have told her I was filing a hostile work enviroment on her like you can at work when the need arises- if you can even do such a thing on a teacher.
I wonder what they would have thought about that. You were spot on imo asking why she didn't do anything to stop it. Unbelieveable to me |
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Chicken Chick
Posts: 3562
Location: Texas | Oh and about the origional topic lol. I have always loved to read, I would have all of my reading assignments for the year done in the first 6 weeks of school (if the teachers were cool and let me, which most of them did then I would read whatever I wanted for the rest of the year).
That being said, I have done the whole ignore them while I pretend to read thing. Mostly in my rebellious years. My mom wouldn't get mad at me if I got in trouble for "reading". I knew how to work the system, and maybe this teacher has had a kid like me so she thinks your son may be doing the same thing. Or maybe he was ignoring her... Don't kill me... I know I don't know your son, but maybe there is more to the story. |
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Addicted to Baseball
Location: Where the stars at night are big and bright, TX | Was he was reading his own book during class time? I could see her not happy about that. Time and a place for everything. If she was getting his attention after some free-reading time (which my children have in their classes) than tough noogs lady...she could certainly walk by his desk and give him a reminder, a tap on the desk or something that it's time to put things up on her way back to the board and ask you to please mention it to him and see if that resolves it. I'd go ahead and meet with them so you can get all the info and be heard yourself. |
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 The BHW Book Worm
Posts: 1768
| for the sake of a different point of view: I am the only one in my family that is not a teacher. not saying the teacher is right she very well could be over reacting. I was a child that would do my work...but I would only do it standing... never sitting and I did have a teacher blow things out of proportion about this habit. Anyway teachers have ridiculously high expectations and close to no pay. they teach because they love the children (or at least it starts that way) years ago these expectations for high testing results were not in place and teachers could use there god given skills to help children of many learning styles achieve knowledge (teachers have a very long list of things they are no longer allowed to use as tools in the class room or out of the class room ) so now you have teachers that MUST use a particular teaching style and cram a TON of knowledge into young minds. Along with this parents are more busy than ever both parents working 40+ hours a week and children are not followed up on as much at home is not uncommon. Thus all the responsibility of learning is put on the teachers shoulders when parents used to take a part in this. I would be excited to have a conference instead of getting defensive you should embrace your teacher still has the drive to want to understand you child and come up with way to maybe make things more interesting for him. Teachers and parents need to work together communication is the only way! |
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