|
|
 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
    
Location: Kansas | My daughter is 16 months old, and has the most horrible temper tantrums I've ever seen in a child. She will throw herself on the ground and scream, she smacks me in the face, kicks me and throws things. There are times I just have to walk out of the room because it's too much for me to handle. I cry alot.....I talk softly to her to get her to calm down, I will pick her up and rub her back....but nothing works. I can't even go anywhere in public anymore because she will randomly start screaming, even at restaurants....last friday was my best friends daughters birthday and we all went to red lobster to celebrate it. My daughter got ahold of the cup full of ketchup and decided to throw it on the table and fling it everywhere, I politely told her to not do that and she instantly started screaming and smacked me in the chest.
It's embarrasing. I can't ride because she will run into the arena, and scream when I get off my horse and pick her up to move her back out. She will scream if I don't have her in the saddle riding with me. If she drops a toy in the car....she screams bloody murder, even my cell phone...she has dialed 911 multiple times because she refuses to give me my cell phone, I even gave her an old phone to play with but she wants mine. She climbs the stairs, just yesterday I had the day off and was putting away laundry, when she climbed the stairs and decided to go hog wild running around upstairs. I've tried putting the baby gate up, but she will hang off it and scream.
I'm about to rip my hair out, I cry pretty much every night until she finally falls asleep because she is getting hard to handle.
I'm sorry this is so long I just don't know what to do anymore. What can I do to help her calm down a little bit, or make her more happy? |
|
| |
|
  Shipwrecked and Flat Out Zapped
Posts: 16390
Location: DUMPING CATS AND PIGS IN TEXAS :) | 1- You can send her to LRQH's for a month. I will get her right.
2- You can beat her.
3- You can drug her up.
4- You could possibly trade her in on a new one. Or, just switch her out with someone else's kid at Day Care. |
|
| |
|
Shipwrecked and Flat Out Zapped
Posts: 16390
Location: DUMPING CATS AND PIGS IN TEXAS :) | Ohhhhhh, almost forgot this one :)
5- remember those people that kept their foster kid's in cages. I think they were from South Dakota, Kentucky or Cananda. Anyways, that seemed to work out pretty good for them. Build her a nice cage :) |
|
| |
|
Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
Location: Kansas | LRQHS - 2014-01-21 8:06 AM Ohhhhhh, almost forgot this one :)
5- remember those people that kept their foster kid's in cages. I think they were from South Dakota, Kentucky or Cananda. Anyways, that seemed to work out pretty good for them. Build her a nice cage :)
LMFAO.....she would hate me forever!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA |
|
| |
|
Shipwrecked and Flat Out Zapped
Posts: 16390
Location: DUMPING CATS AND PIGS IN TEXAS :) | hoofs_in_motion - 2014-01-21 8:08 AM LRQHS - 2014-01-21 8:06 AM Ohhhhhh, almost forgot this one :)
5- remember those people that kept their foster kid's in cages. I think they were from South Dakota, Kentucky or Cananda. Anyways, that seemed to work out pretty good for them. Build her a nice cage :) LMFAO.....she would hate me forever!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA
Oh, make up your mind.....you want a sweet little girl.....and you want her to behave........and you want her to love you and not hate you for eternity and you want her to walk upright.....and and and.........pick one and let ol' LRQHS fix this little problem for you. |
|
| |
|
Elite Veteran
Posts: 1079
| my sister in law speaks "politely" to her daughter too.. She is 4 and I swear she is the spawn of the devil. No respect toward her parents and complete and total disregard for what anyone else (like her grandma) might ask her to do. Stop ASKING and start TELLING. Discipline if she doesn't listen. you are the boss and she is headed down a very naughty road!! I am not opposed to butt spanking either. She sounds like a nightmare.
Sorry if this sounds harsh. I mean my "niece" will straight up sit down and pee on the floor. She is just a total and complete brat. |
|
| |
|
 Triple Extra-Ordinaire
Posts: 4244
Location: Okla | I'm sure it's not the "proper" thing to do, but my Mother used to say...if you're going to cry, I'm going to give you a reason to cry and she would bust my brothers b*tt. |
|
| |
|
Shipwrecked and Flat Out Zapped
Posts: 16390
Location: DUMPING CATS AND PIGS IN TEXAS :) | These are relatively cheap and can keep a kid out of trouble for a while.....I'd just slap one on, tie her to a tree and come back in an hour or so.....
|
|
| |
|
Addicted to Baseball
Location: Where the stars at night are big and bright, TX | She's been taught that you'll cave to her demands and you won't punish her. It doesn't matter that she's 16 months old...she needs black and white correction - not appeasing - and you need to outlast her fits and correct them with more than words that fall on a kid in the middle of a hyper-fit. My husband has a huge therapeutic clientele of children whose parents have raised their kids by trying to appease them into behaving rather than teaching them self control and how to behave. You cannot start parenting a child in their teens...it starts now. Our kids knew even at an early age what "do we need to go to the restroom" meant when we were out and one was about to have a come undone. It's at these ages you start to teach self control. Actions have consequences. Choose wisely. Teach them to think ahead and make behavior choices, it starts in ways like this.
Trying to make her "happy" is the problem with the kids my husband treats. You cannot speak a child into being. You cannot gift a child into being. Raising them in this manner will not make them happy, they will want more and more and they will throw bigger and bigger fits to get their way and the parents get habituated to hoping to just keep some peace in the house and in the meantime are destroying their kids ability to function within themselves and others. They are emotionally immature, they have no self control, they only want what they want for themselves, they have no care and concern for others. They live in the moment and don't think ahead to consequences of their actions on themselves or others. You teach a child reciprocity. You teach them self control. You cannot fully reason with a child this age, that comes in time. You make the lines black and white and you outlast them and don't let the tail wag the dog.
ETA as far as the time in the arena, you need to ride when you've got someone else to watch her. That's a different issue than the hitting you, fits in the restaurant, etc.
Edited by Tilt The Kilt 2014-01-21 8:57 AM
|
|
| |
|
Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
Location: Kansas | star1218 - 2014-01-21 8:15 AM my sister in law speaks "politely" to her daughter too.. She is 4 and I swear she is the spawn of the devil. No respect toward her parents and complete and total disregard for what anyone else (like her grandma) might ask her to do. Stop ASKING and start TELLING. Discipline if she doesn't listen. you are the boss and she is headed down a very naughty road!! I am not opposed to butt spanking either. She sounds like a nightmare.
Sorry if this sounds harsh. I mean my "niece" will straight up sit down and pee on the floor. She is just a total and complete brat.
This is exactly what my daughter does......she peed on the bathroom floor 3 times yesterday when I was getting her bath ready.
|
|
| |
|
 Hugs to You
Posts: 7551
Location: In The Land of Cotton | Tilt The Kilt - 2014-01-21 9:27 AM She's been taught that you'll cave to her demands and you won't punish her. It doesn't matter that she's 16 months old...she needs black and white correction - not appeasing - and you need to outlast her fits and correct them with more than words that fall on a kid in the middle of a hyper-fit. My husband has a huge therapeutic clientele of children whose parents have raised their kids by trying to appease them into behaving rather than teaching them self control and how to behave. You cannot start parenting a child in their teens...it starts now. Our kids knew even at that age what "do we need to go to the restroom" meant when we were out and one was about to have a come undone. It's at these ages you start to teach self control. Actions have consequences. Choose wisely. Teach them to think ahead and make behavior choices, it starts in ways like this.
Trying to make her "happy" is the problem with the kids my husband treats. You cannot speak a child into being. You cannot gift a child into being. Raising them in this manner will not make them happy, they will want more and more and they will throw bigger and bigger fits to get their way and the parents get habituated to hoping to just keep some peace in the house and in the meantime are destroying their kids ability to function within themselves and others. They are emotionally immature, they have no self control, they only want what they want for themselves, they have no care and concern for others. They live in the moment and don't think ahead to consequences of their actions on themselves or others. You teach a child reciprocity. You teach them self control. You cannot fully reason with a child this age, that comes in time. You make the lines black and white and you outlast them and don't let the tail wag the dog.
ETA as far as the time in the arena, you need to ride when you've got someone else to watch her. That's a different issue than the hitting you, fits in the restaurant, etc.
And, I believe that means swats on the behind? |
|
| |
|
 Experienced Mouse Trapper
Posts: 3106
Location: North Dakota | Respect at 16 mons is much easier to get than at 16 yrs. Don't weaken Mama, she's got your ticket. Kids need to know that in order to be safe, they have to listen to you, you are the parent. The running into the arena part is what got me through your whole explanation, my reaction would have been to spank her butt and show her the boundaries. Use the word NO and back it up with discipline-my discipline of choice is a swat, but you can choose. You are going to cry A LOT if you lay down ground rules now and stick to them. You are going to be into the biggest pi$$ing match of your life but, if you win, you will have a respectful, cute little girl. I often times wonder how parents of these types of children are raised? If you were raised with limits and respect maybe take a little of that knowledge and apply it here to your own kids, after all, you don't have screaming tantrums................
do you? :) |
|
| |
|
Addicted to Baseball
Location: Where the stars at night are big and bright, TX | Yes, mine know what a "fanny dusting" is. lol
|
|
| |
|
Shipwrecked and Flat Out Zapped
Posts: 16390
Location: DUMPING CATS AND PIGS IN TEXAS :) | I wonder if I could make some extra cash by hiring myself out to beat people's kids for them????? Hmmmmmmm......
I'd even let them decide which method I would use....
1- the clothes hanger - $3
2- the DDT - $5
3- the pile driver - free (that's too fun to charge for)
4- a baseball bat - $20 (that could get messy)
5- broom - $7 (like the bat, but not quite as messy)
6- the twig your grandma used - $10 (this one is very effective and recommended) |
|
| |
|
Hugs to You
Posts: 7551
Location: In The Land of Cotton | With my children's friends starting to have children and seeing "let's talk about it" and "why Johnny" did you do that, it scares me. Kids want boundaries, and need them. OP, please take the advice of Tilt and set the limits and don't back down. I had a little boy who tried you as long as there was a sun that shined. Many, many days I went to bed crying because all I accomplished that day was "paddling, chasing and tending" to him. He is now a grown man with a lot of college education, has traveled the world and a very compassionate soul.
It works, it just gives you early grey hair and wrinkles. |
|
| |
|
Addicted to Baseball
Location: Where the stars at night are big and bright, TX | hoofs_in_motion - 2014-01-21 8:31 AM star1218 - 2014-01-21 8:15 AM my sister in law speaks "politely" to her daughter too.. She is 4 and I swear she is the spawn of the devil. No respect toward her parents and complete and total disregard for what anyone else (like her grandma) might ask her to do. Stop ASKING and start TELLING. Discipline if she doesn't listen. you are the boss and she is headed down a very naughty road!! I am not opposed to butt spanking either. She sounds like a nightmare.
Sorry if this sounds harsh. I mean my "niece" will straight up sit down and pee on the floor. She is just a total and complete brat. This is exactly what my daughter does......she peed on the bathroom floor 3 times yesterday when I was getting her bath ready.
No it's not the same. 16 months and 4 years having potty accidents I would not compare. Maybe the running water got the better of the 16 month old. I'd have had her sit on her potty while I ran her bath or have her sit there to start with and encourage her to go. While the 4 yr. old may have her emotional or developmental issues, IMO setting comparison aside, a 16 month old I would credit that more to urge. Think ahead, put her on the potty when the water is running, congratulate her for going if she goes. Rather than setting her up for failure, set it up for a hopefully positive learning experience on the potty. |
|
| |
|
Experienced Mouse Trapper
Posts: 3106
Location: North Dakota | ^^yes my babies never got their diaper off until they were going into the tub. Don't make this parenting thing so hard on yourself. |
|
| |
|
 Fact Checker
Posts: 16575
Location: Displaced Iowegian | Years ago....I had a friend who had a child that was the "spawn of the devil". We couldn't go anywhere in public that the "child" wouldn't throw a fit.....laying on the ground, screaming, ripping clothes off of racks, etc. etc. etc......This mother had NEVER disciplined this child and also had never left her with anyone. One day, they had a family funeral and she asked if I would watch her for the day.........The very FIRST fit that she threw, I picked her up and took her to the back bedroom to STAY....EVERY time that she came out of the room, I put her back in it and told her that she couldn't come out UNLESS she behaved......her fit lasted about one half hour....Finally, she just wore herself out and said to me...."I be good"........No problems the rest of the day...
Fast forward to mother arriving to pick her up. She wanted something and mother told her no and she threw one h*ll of a fit....I just said her name quietly and she jumped up with "I be good"...... The mother looked astonished and asked if I had beaten her....I explained my actions. We NEVER had a problem with that child if I was around.......The lesson is that they have to LEARN that there are CONSISTENT consequences for their actions.....even at 16 months.
Edited by NJJ 2014-01-21 8:54 AM
|
|
| |
|
 Swiffer PIcker Upper
Posts: 4015
Location: Four Corners Colorado | NJJ - 2014-01-21 7:50 AM Years ago....I had a friend who had a child that was the "spawn of the devil". We couldn't go anywhere in public that the "child" wouldn't throw a fit.....laying on the ground, screaming, ripping clothes off of racks, etc. etc. etc......This mother had NEVER disciplined this child and also had never left her with anyone. One day, they had a family funeral and she asked if I would watch her for the day.........The very FIRST fit that she threw, I picked her up and took her to the back bedroom to STAY....EVERY time that she came out of the room, I put her back in it and told her that she couldn't come out UNLESS she behaved......her fit lasted about one half hour....Finally, she just wore herself out and said to me...."I be good"........No problems the rest of the day...
Fast forward to mother arriving to pick her up. She wanted something and mother told her no and she threw one h*ll of a fit....I just said her name quietly and she jumped up with "I be good"...... The mother looked astonished and asked if I had beaten her....I explained my actions. We NEVER had a problem with that child if I was around.......The lesson is that they have to LEARN that there are CONSISTENT consequences for their actions.....even at 16 months. This works amazingly well. And never ever yell. If you don't start yelling your kids will listen when you have something to say. I have two nephews who are terrible for their mom when she has them. but at my house they are perfect angels you'd swear I beat them till they are scared for their lives but I never have spanked or yelled at them. I just say what I mean and always follow through with the punishement. They are happier kids when they know their boudries. And so is mom. Good luck!
Edited by equussynergy 2014-01-21 9:02 AM
|
|
| |
|
 Expert
Posts: 2135
Location: Somewhere else | My mom would have wore my butt out if I acted like that. I didn't get my way if I threw a tantrum but I would get something to cry about. The older I got if I disrespected my parents I got to go cut my own hickory switch. This 'time out' & giving in don't work. Didn't hurt me one bit to get my butt wore out. Made me a better person for it. Can't stand these parents that give in & get disrespected like they do.
|
|
| |
Folks on-line