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 The Famous Hot Wing Chicken Girl
Posts: 2964
   
| Do you regret it?
We are thinking about eloping. SO has been for it since day 1, but I've been a little more hesitant. I would love to have the gorgeous dress and have a wedding.. but at the same time, I can't fathom spending all that money on 1 day. We are in the process of buying a house that needs needs all new floors, countertops and paint in every room. I have 7k left to pay on my truck and 17k in student loans left. For our venue, photographer and rings, we were up to almost 3k spent. That's not dress, food, decorations, etc. We are doing this 95% on our own. My parents are helping where they can and his parents don't care. (Another reason why I want to elope..his family is nuts!)
I'm really torn and my family and friends aren't helping. We can't really have a small wedding because our families are large. I was thinking of eloping in April.. Spending the money to fix our house, then having a "Hey we are hitched/house warming" party in the summer.. However I've been told that's out of line. |
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 Cute Little Imp
Posts: 2747
Location: N Texas | Do what YOU want to do, not what THEY want you to do! I went through the whole wedding thing because that's what everyone else told me I should do...that I would regret not having a "real" wedding. I mainly did it to please everyone else. It's been about a year and a half and I STILL wish I would've eloped. When I think back on all the stress I went through and how much money we spent (my hubby and I paid for the whole thing), I regret not doing it the way I really wanted to. I would've done things much more simple and casual. |
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 Tough Patooty
Posts: 2615
Location: Sperry, OK | Go to the court house, bring your parents and immediate family with you.. then have a large reception party aftwards for all the other people. This way, you get a cheap wedding, and all the family and friends get the party they want. You can provide a few finger foods, like chicken or bbq, and tell who wants to come it's BYOD (bring your own drink). |
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 Owner of a ratting catting machine
Posts: 2258
| Nope! Get a fantastic photographer, some awesome clothes to your taste, a venue, a JP, a couple buddies and you're in business. We got married on the 4th of July since we had it off, and the whole trip, clothes and hotels etc was $3500. Worth every penny we did and didn't spend. Booked everything in one afternoon. :)
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Owner of a ratting catting machine
Posts: 2258
| Also, your decisions about your life are never out of line!!! Especially YOUR WEDDING and YOUR MONEY! I didn't allow our families to come. Nobody came but our two friends. Families had a party for us with a caterer and a band, but it was because they wanted one and split the cost. That was the only gift we got (requested no gifts) and it was worth oodles to see everyone have a good time. Also didn't allow alcohol, didn't want drama or someone wrecking their vehicle after a fun time of ours and cast shadows. |
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 Pork Fat is my Favorite
Posts: 3791
Location: The Oklahoma plains. | Dont regret it one bit. Everyone has their priorities and ours was much like yours- to get a home in place, pay debt and have horses:) |
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 pow wow princess
Location: Where ever life takes me, Oklahoma | ACEINTHEHOLE - 2014-02-06 9:20 AM Go to the court house, bring your parents and immediate family with you.. then have a large reception party aftwards for all the other people. This way, you get a cheap wedding, and all the family and friends get the party they want. You can provide a few finger foods, like chicken or bbq, and tell who wants to come it's BYOD (bring your own drink).
This is what my hubby and I did, we went to the courthouse with immediate family and friends, then we went to eat at a nice restaurant after, we were gonna have a reception but never got around to it. But no I do not regret the decision that we made. We thought about going on kinda weekend trip things to somewhere and getting married but decided we didn't want to spend a ton of money.
By going to the courthouse we were able to include people that were close to our hearts in our special moment. |
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 Dog Resuce Agent
Posts: 3459
Location: southeast Texas | Your wedding is about you and your soon to be. Not anyone else.
Elope to Vegas. Wedding and honeymoon all in one.
Any one who wants to be there can pay their own way.
There are lots of wedding venues there, from a modest budget to very lavish. There is even drive thru weddings!
no muss no fuss, easy peazy. |
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Veteran
Posts: 121
| I often regret not eloping! I always wanted to go to Vegas and get married in a drive through wedding chapel, lol! I am a major tight wad, did not see the point in spending all of that money on a wedding. But, my hubby and mother were not going for it. So we had a wedding. But my mom and sisters planned the whole thing. All I had to do was show up!  |
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| My Potential wedding- $10k+ in costs, people upset they didn't get invited to ceremony, family fights, bride-zilla vs. made-of-honor, caterer didn't have enough food, flowers late, future moster-in-law upset you didnt let her decide seating arrangement, hubby's best friend super drunk, singing and dancing on tables...the list of possibilities goes on and on.
Don't regret eloping for an instant. We went to Vegas and were married at the Valley of Fire- got awesome pictures, went to the NFR for our honeymoon. It's was great and headache free. We had some family that was disappointed when we got back but it was short term. We got married exactly how we wanted and it was perfectly simple. Do it for you and don't worry about what anyone else says or thinks whether you elope or have a traditional wedding.
Edited by bscanchaser 2014-02-06 10:14 AM
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Veteran
Posts: 264
| I have 60 days left in my engagement then this planning nightmare will be over! I was all for eloping, actually wanted it quite badly but my soon to be husband wanted the bigger wedding. We are only inviting family (which is quite large) and close friends. Still came out to about 120 people and a ridiculous bill.
The stress and financial debt has made this a miserable experience. I still wish I could have just gone out to a pasture with some friends and family, signed the papers and went home to a pot luck.
Through this experience everyone said the same thing "do what YOU want" well it wasn't what I wanted from the beginning so each decision was jaded anyways.
I'm all for eloping after this hell!!  |
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 Ima Fickle Fan
Posts: 3547
Location: Texas | The type of ceremony you have won't make the marriage last any longer.
We paid for our wedding ourselves, so much of the frills we didn't do. The venue was at my aunt's house, the pastor was my uncle, the flowers were simple, only one bridesmaid and groomsman, simple reception, guests were mainly family. I think we spent (total) what you have already spent. Looking back, Vegas would have been way easier.
I've also had a lot of friends do the Vegas thing and come back and have a reception. People don't go to a wedding to watch the vows. They go for the food, fun, and alcohol afterward. Skip the stress, elope, and just have a party. |
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 BHW's Lance Armstrong 
Posts: 11134
Location: Somewhere between S@%&# stirrer and Saint | Big fancy weddings are a waste of money! Usually it is the very last time a girl can get money from her dad. |
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Industrial Srength Barrel Racer
Posts: 7268
| I eloped. I have never - EVER heard anyone say they wished they had spent MORE on their wedding. |
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 Expert
Posts: 1440
Location: Texas | I eloped to a nice B & B. MY only condition was no courthouse and I wanted THE dress. The B & B did the pics and ceremony with a nice cake for 2 with sparkling cider. It was only 750 for the room for 2 nights and the cake, pics and ceremony. They took well over 100 pics and some were great. Best decision we could have made. A nice small wedding was going to cost over 5k. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 544
| sounds like your money your choice!!! Don't let anyone put you on a guilt trip |
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 I Prefer to Live in Fantasy Land
Posts: 64864
Location: In the Hills of Texas | We eloped almost 45 years ago and never once have we regretted it. We had everything planned because of his family wanting us to have a big wedding. My mom wanted us to be married in the Catholic Church and during the meeting of the priest who was drunk...I walked out and told my husband the wedding BS was off. We went to Alabama and the man who taught him to ride and who he spent most of his young adulthood with going to hunter/jumper shows, was our witness along with his wife. Our honeymoon was spent in Florida and we were part of the first group that went to Epcot. |
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 Nascar Princess
Posts: 6005
Location: Texas!!! | haha! We went up to the court house, got the marriage license, went downstairs had the JP marry us. ALL on our lunch hour. hahaha. At that time we had been together 3 yrs. Didn't want the hassle, or his kids making a fuss. Just celebrated 21 yrs. :) |
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 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
Location: Kansas | Id do it......in a heartbeat......to a really hott guy.
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..but alas....I'm single ARGGGG. Maybe I'll snag one in vegas this year, he'll wake up and wont remember a thing  |
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 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| We went to the JP. I have never one ounce of regret for not having a big wedding. I do wish we had gone to Vegas or the like and had a picture of us, other then that I am glad we did it our way. My mother threw us a reception a few months later.
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