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 Veteran
Posts: 141
 
Location: College Station, TX | Or who are married and don't have a joint account...
How do you handle paying bills? Do you split everything 50/50? Does one pay more than the other? Do you base it off the income of each person?
Not sure that the way it's being handled in my house is the best way to do it, so it made me wonder what other people do.
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 Expert
Posts: 4625
 
Location: Desert Land | We have been living together for almost 8 years and married for almost 1 year. We used to split everything equally and then when we bought a house together he started paying all of the mortgage and I pay all of the utilities. He pays out more a month than me, by far. BUT he makes just about double what I make. We DO NOT have a joint account. But if I need money, he will give it to me. |
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 Swiffer PIcker Upper
Posts: 4015
Location: Four Corners Colorado | Right now I am the only one with a bank account and my husband has a credit card. We put all the money in my account and I pay all the bills. He uses his credit card for what ever he needs and I pay it off. I do let him know what the bills are and where the money goes. It works for us because he is always out of town. I also have a finacial power of attorney so I can sign for what ever we need while he is gone. |
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 Dr. Ebay
Posts: 8507
 
Location: Land Of Oz | We don't have separate accounts but it isn't really fair for the one who makes less to pay 50% IMO. I know 'technically' half the bill would be theirs but I could see how it could cause resentment. |
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 Expert
Posts: 1367
Location: mi | My name is on the checking. I pay the bills. We each have our own savings. Along with one joint savings that is pretty much just for having a joint account to deposit our Income tax return into. He makes about 30% more then me. Back in the day we figured out how much I needed from each of our checks to get the bills paid and that is what he gives me. If he takes a day off he is short. If he works over time that is his extra play money. The same for mine. Except since i pay the bills My over time tends to be used for bills more often then not. But if my check is short I still manage to eat. :) |
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Veteran
Posts: 141
Location: College Station, TX | Jinx - 2014-02-20 10:00 AM
We don't have separate accounts but it isn't really fair for the one who makes less to pay 50% IMO. I know 'technically' half the bill would be theirs but I could see how it could cause resentment.
This is kind of where I'm at. I make about 1/3 of what he does, and we split everything 50/50. On top of house bills I have a truck note, car insurance an student loans, which he has none of. It leaves me in a bind on a regular basis while he is free to play and spend as he pleases. I'm trying to not be resentful about it but it's getting where I can't help it. I just wasn't sure if I was being selfish thinking this way.
Edited by Talkeetnababe 2014-02-20 10:09 AM
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Swiffer PIcker Upper
Posts: 4015
Location: Four Corners Colorado | I wanted to add I am a stay at home wife. I make a small amount of money with my farm but not enough to pay bills. My husband has been the main bread winner for many years. I am very thankful that he has always made his money feel like our money. Even when I was working he told me to put my money to what I wanted. |
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 Party Girl
Posts: 12293
Location: Buffalo, Wyoming | We are not married but have been living together for 5 years.
He makes WAY more than I do. From the very beginning he has paid the rent/mortgage, his truck/trailer payments and buys all the feed for the horses.
I pay utilites, my car/trailer payments and all the food (which averages out about the same amount he pays in horse feed).
I am a signer on all of his accounts and have access to everything. He doesn't have access to any of mine as he would spend it all if he had it. Even thought he makes more than I do, I still have to bale him out every once in awhile.
We do have once credit card in both of our names that he pays on since he is the one that uses it. We also have one in just my name that is maxed out due to him using it and I pay on it for some reason.
This works for us for now but I think we need to change a few things.
I should add he does give me whatever money I ask for when it is available.
Edited by UTAHCANCHASER 2014-02-20 10:18 AM
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1028
| I guess our situation is a little different than most, in that I make a bit more than he does, but I don't think we ever sat down and decided I was going to pay more than him or vice versa. Never had a joint account either. I take care of the mortgage and house maintenence (I had it before we were together), my truck note and related expenses like gas, insurance, and all horse expenses (because they're all mine, he's nonhorsey). He takes care of utilities (aside from propane, then it's whoever is home when the propane truck shows up), groceries, his car note, and student loan debt. I think I did add it up once, what both of us pay in a month and it was definitely fair for both of us. If there's a month where one of us is a bit short (a car repair for him, or a big vet bill for me), we just help the other out as best we can. :) |
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 I Chore in Chucks
Posts: 2882
Location: MD | Talkeetnababe - 2014-02-20 10:06 AM
Jinx - 2014-02-20 10:00 AM
We don't have separate accounts but it isn't really fair for the one who makes less to pay 50% IMO. I know 'technically' half the bill would be theirs but I could see how it could cause resentment.
This is kind of where I'm at. I make about 1/3 of what he does, and we split everything 50/50. On top of house bills I have a truck note, car insurance an student loans, which he has none of. It leaves me in a bind on a regular basis while he is free to play and spend as he pleases. I'm trying to not be resentful about it but it's getting where I can't help it. I just wasn't sure if I was being selfish thinking this way.
Not to butt in or make you feel badly about yourself.
Has he already paid off his student loans and car payment etc? obviously it isn't his duty to pay off your things.
But if you're in a bind can you talk to him? say, "hey, I need some help I'm feeling too pinched and I feel like I can't get ahead, can you help me? can we change the way bills are paid for at least little while so I can get ahead or pay things off?"
He may not even be realizing you're tight in the money dept.
ETA: i have been living with my SO for going on 2 years, this is usually what I say when I need help with a vet bill, or an insurance payment. It's so much easier to just say that I need help rather than waiting for him to ask if I do. Usually he doesn't even know if I'm feeling pinched or stressed and we've made a pact that if I need help I just say so.
Edited by Crowned Image 2014-02-20 10:28 AM
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Rad Dork
Posts: 5218
Location: Oklahoma | We share checking, savings and credit cards, but not investments.
He makes more than I do, but we have a joint checking that both of our paychecks get put into to pay the credit card, car loans and utilities.
Back in college (before we were married) we lived together and we were on a rent/per person basis. He helped me out if I couldn't cover my rent, but I paid the TV/DSL/Electric. It wasn't 50/50, but he didn't hold any resentment. |
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 Cute Little Imp
Posts: 2747
Location: N Texas | Before we got married, he moved in with me, so all the bills were in my name. He just gave me money every month to cover his half. I made more than him, so I covered more than he did. Now we're married and make about the same. We each still have our own separate accounts, but have one joint account that we both put money into each month to pay the household bills out of. We keep our personal accounts so we each have "our own" money to spend.
We also have a joint savings that we contribute to when we can that will go towards a joint purchase, vacation, etc. |
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Swiffer PIcker Upper
Posts: 4015
Location: Four Corners Colorado | Crowned Image - 2014-02-20 9:22 AM Talkeetnababe - 2014-02-20 10:06 AM Jinx - 2014-02-20 10:00 AM We don't have separate accounts but it isn't really fair for the one who makes less to pay 50% IMO. I know 'technically' half the bill would be theirs but I could see how it could cause resentment. This is kind of where I'm at. I make about 1/3 of what he does, and we split everything 50/50. On top of house bills I have a truck note, car insurance an student loans, which he has none of. It leaves me in a bind on a regular basis while he is free to play and spend as he pleases. I'm trying to not be resentful about it but it's getting where I can't help it. I just wasn't sure if I was being selfish thinking this way. Not to butt in or make you feel badly about yourself. Has he already paid off his student loans and car payment etc? obviously it isn't his duty to pay off your things. But if you're in a bind can you talk to him? say, "hey, I need some help I'm feeling too pinched and I feel like I can't get ahead, can you help me? can we change the way bills are paid for at least little while so I can get ahead or pay things off?" He may not even be realizing you're tight in the money dept.
I don't agree with this, once you are "married" there shouldn't be his and mine, it should be "ours"
Not 50/50 but 100/100 |
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 Road Rash Expert
Posts: 5501
Location: Near San Antonio, TX | I think my husband and I do things a bit differently. He makes about 3x what I do, but he is just awful with money. While we do have a joint account, he never, ever touches it. My paycheck gets direct deposited into my personal checking account, and his gets deposited into the joint account. He has a seperate account that he gets I think $450 every 2 weeks deposited into so he can buy fuel, or whatever he wants from that. That is his money and not used to pay bills. I pay all the bills. I even have investements that are jointly in both of our names that I really doubt he knows anything about. He goes to work, comes home, the lights are still on, Dish Network still works, and we have dinner. He is a hard worker, and a good provider, but not so good with money. Porportionally, he certianly makes much more of a contribution, percentage wise, than me to our bills.
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I Chore in Chucks
Posts: 2882
Location: MD | equussynergy - 2014-02-20 10:28 AM
Crowned Image - 2014-02-20 9:22 AM Talkeetnababe - 2014-02-20 10:06 AM Jinx - 2014-02-20 10:00 AM We don't have separate accounts but it isn't really fair for the one who makes less to pay 50% IMO. I know 'technically' half the bill would be theirs but I could see how it could cause resentment. This is kind of where I'm at. I make about 1/3 of what he does, and we split everything 50/50. On top of house bills I have a truck note, car insurance an student loans, which he has none of. It leaves me in a bind on a regular basis while he is free to play and spend as he pleases. I'm trying to not be resentful about it but it's getting where I can't help it. I just wasn't sure if I was being selfish thinking this way. Not to butt in or make you feel badly about yourself. Has he already paid off his student loans and car payment etc? obviously it isn't his duty to pay off your things. But if you're in a bind can you talk to him? say, "hey, I need some help I'm feeling too pinched and I feel like I can't get ahead, can you help me? can we change the way bills are paid for at least little while so I can get ahead or pay things off?" He may not even be realizing you're tight in the money dept.
Not 50/50 but 100/100
I agree with you on how I phrased it. and it didn't come out how I expected it to.
I meant more along the lines of, it isn't his job to pay off things that you have done, like school or a car loan; but now that you are now together and things are ours not his or hers. You help each other out like it is a marriage.
That's how my SO and I work things out, I just say what I need and usually help is on the way. It would be vice-versa but since I work for his company he makes considerably more than I do. haha |
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 The One
Posts: 7998
Location: South Georgia | He makes almost double what I make. He pays all the bills, I buy the groceries most weeks. That's just how we do it.
I guess I should also add that I learned the separate accounts were a better/safer option. I was married to someone for 4 years and we had everything joint. He proceeded to rob me absolutely blind one day, emptied savings and everything, and moved while I was at work one day. No longer will I ever have a joint account of any kind again.
Edited by horsegirl 2014-02-20 10:46 AM
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 Vodka for Lunch
Location: Lala Land | Gunner11 - 2014-02-20 10:27 AM Before we got married, he moved in with me, so all the bills were in my name. He just gave me money every month to cover his half. I made more than him, so I covered more than he did. Now we're married and make about the same. We each still have our own separate accounts, but have one joint account that we both put money into each month to pay the household bills out of. We keep our personal accounts so we each have "our own" money to spend. We also have a joint savings that we contribute to when we can that will go towards a joint purchase, vacation, etc.
This is what we do also. Before we were married we split bills 50/50, but he was willing to pay more if I needed extra |
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| Joint. What his is mine and what mine is his.
Edited to add: We are married and did not do joint or live together until there was the commitment.
Edited by MRM27 2014-02-20 10:46 AM
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 512
| My husband and I are 100/100 as someone stated above. Both of our names are on both checking accounts and our savings account. We put both our pay checks into one account and we pay bills out of that same account. He is responsible for carrying the weight in paying bills-as far as actually physically paying rent, horse board, car payment. I take responsibility and making sure our health care payment is made. We have one new car and my truck/trailer is paid off. We switch off vehicles and basically share everything. We have never sat down and really figured out who pays the most (although right now I do make a bit more money as he is searching for a new job).
We often discuss finances and we make all major financial decision together.
I wrestled with the joint account, "separate" things, ect when we got married. However, I believe we are one and I have a strong relationship with Christ. It was the best option for our marriage to be joined in finances also. I know finances can cause a huge upset in a marriage. I never want to hold so tightly to money or a thing that it causes problems for myself and our marriage. This is JMO. Our bills are paid, we have food and money for things we need. We are blessed. In my mind, God gave me what we have and he blesses our marriage.
If I was dating someone however, everything would be separate for the most part. Unless the other person got in a bind-but I would be very careful with this.
My 2 cents. |
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 Strong Willed Woman
Posts: 6577
Location: Prosser, WA | Before we were married we split everything 50/50. As soon as we got married we got a joint checking account. Before we got married we didn't buy anything jointly. I would have a hard time doing it any other way before marriage. Although you should talk to him about it. Maybe he needs to pay more or you two need to find a cheaper place to live or something? |
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