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  Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
   
Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | Are some people just born with evil in their heart? Or do some people just have the capacity to fill their heart with hatred? I've had my suspicions for months now but kept them quiet.....until today when I confronted my father in law, who confirmed that my mother in law has in fact been telling people that I intentionally harmed myself to cause my miscarraige last december because I never wanted to have a child. Yes we were not planning to get pregnant and yes I was upset at first about it. But I got over it real quick, so when we abruptly miscarried at 14 weeks it was not only a shock but very devastating. How do you cope with something like this? Is it worth coping with or do I just move on and forget she even exists? I know the truth, my husband and God know the truth.....and that's all that really matters.
I don't know how I'm supposed to feel, or what I'm supposed to even say. All I can think of right now is how unforgivable this is and how much evil must be in her heart to think something like that, let alone speak it out loud. |
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | What a horrible thing to be saying about you, hugs to you  |
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Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | The fighting side of me wants to confront her about it and tell her how I feel.
The smarter side of me wants to forget this woman exists other then the fact i'm married to her son.
I didn't have a childhood filled with laughter, good memories, and love. I was a very angry teenager/young adult. I got lucky. Very lucky. I was blessed with people that the grace of God to teach and show me how to let go of my anger and find the positive.
I have a great life. It's not perfect, and it's not easy, but it's great. I will have a great life with or without this woman. And that's all I want. So how do I put away my fighting side right now and walk away??? |
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 Serious Snap Trapper
Posts: 4275
Location: In The Snow, AZ | I am so sorry for what has been said about you. That is just awful. Hugs to you and sending prayers up. I have no advice as to how to respond, because the "evil" in me would probably come out if my mother-in-law spoke of me that way. Granted, the "evil" in hubby would come out to.
I'm not sure there is a correct way to handle it. My mom and I were recently talking about negative people in our lives. And we came to the conclusion that as God-fearing people, we are to forgive those who do us wrong, but that we do not have hold ourselves accountable for them. We have the ability to choose who we keep in our lives. Negative people are no longer welcome in mine.... |
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | Just stay away from her, dont lower yourself to her level. |
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 Thread Killer
Posts: 7545
| I cannot really offer any adivce, but what an awful thing to do. I am so sorry. |
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 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| Hugs and prayers. I feel for you, those are horrible things to say. Yes, she is evil. I had a few conflicts with my inlaws, nothing compared to what you have gone through but I decided enough was enough. It was no longer a priority to me to travel to see them, if I had something else to do, I did it. I never made an issue of my husband going, it is still his mother and I did not want to make him feel like he had to choose. It has worked for me. If I were you I would no longer have anything to do with that woman. She is toxic, does not matter that she is a realtive, she does not get a free pass to treat you like that. What does your husband say? |
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 Miss Laundry Misshap
Posts: 5271
| Based on the other issues you've had with these people, I'd probably go over there and tell them where to shove it. Now, that being said, I'd also tell them that your love for their son is the only thing making you go there because you don't want to see him hurt by their jealousy and anger. I'd also probably buy them a plane ticket back to GA. :)
I'm sorry you are dealing with this. It is rude and unforgivable, but I really feel like for peace neither you nor your hubby need to keep quiet on this. What's going to be the last straw? Cutting ties sounds like the best thing. |
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Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | He doesn't know and I don't want to tell hhim.They will be moving back home at some point. We don't know details cause hubby refuses to be the one stuck moving them again |
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| If the opportunity ever arises to say anything, I'd keep it short and sweet and simply say, "Shame on you, SHAME on you!" And let her bask in that thought. Some things are best stated as simply as possible but gets the message across. |
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 Expert
Posts: 3782
Location: Gainesville, TX |  |
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Cold hands and Warm Heart
Location: oklahoma | Stuff like this would eat at me, I need to get things off my chest and move on. However you decide is best for you to handle it,I'd never lay eyes on those two again. Just how I'm made. Having said all of that..... Is she mentally ill? I'm not being cruel, but am wondering why or how someone would even think this is the way you treat people, much less my sons wife. |
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 You just got to get mean and mean it.
Location: Arkansas | My grandmother and mother had a saying that goes like this "Consider the source". That has served me well when someone has hurt my feeling.
So before you jump bad and smack some one, just think "Consider the sourse."
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Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | Yes she has mental illnesses and refuses to stay on meds. But even on meds has always had a hatred for me. I'm tending horses in the pouring down rain..... And as I sit in this barn watching them eat I realize as usual that no matter what. .... she doesn't control me. Her actions cannot change my life. I will still do what I do every day. That gives me some peace |
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Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | Lobo - 2014-05-08 6:41 PM
My grandmother and mother had a saying that goes like this "Consider the source". That has served me well when someone has hurt my feeling.
So before you jump bad and smack some one, just think "Consider the sourse."
My husband says the same thing. Apparently her mother, his grandmother, was the same way |
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 Fact Checker
Posts: 16575
Location: Displaced Iowegian | I don’t really think people are really born evil but they do have the capacity for hate and evil in their heart……most people filled with hate….also hate themselves. I have cut my mother-in-law out of my life. I put up with her and her nasty shenanigans and the way she treated my children differently from her other grandchildren for over 45+ years. Last year, the camel’s back broke…….uncharacteristically, for me (for those that know me….lol), I didn’t blow up and strangle her. I just calmly told her to never to speak to me again and hung up the phone. Even her son didn’t want to talk to her. Since then, he has answered a few of her phone calls with VERY short conversations. I refuse to answer the phone. If he is not going to answer, it goes to voice mail.
One thing you can do is to write a long letter to your mother-in-law detailing the hurt, etc that she has bestowed on you……..instead of mailing it, have a ceremonial burning and cut her from your life! |
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Location: Lost with the rest of the MINIONS! | No advice, just hugs. |
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 The Original Cyber Bartender
Location: Washington | I have read enough about this dysfunctional couple that just happened to create the man of your dreams to know they will never change, and you give them to much power. Now when I say that it simply means your allowing them to hurt you. This woman is crazy and she just simply keeps pushing your buttons to see what reactions she will get, when she doesn't get one, she pushes another one....and you stay close enough for her to do exactly that. It's more than time to distance yourself from them. Your husbands parents let him deal with them.....and to be honest I am shocked he is allowing this to continue. I like the two of you, but you better start fighting as a team and for the marriage. His parents(I include her spouse because he too could have spoke up) went where no parents belong. Your husband has the right to stand next to you and also say, no more. AND that is all that needs to be said.
Time to take your power back, and NEVER want to hear another thing she has to say about anything. She does not matter....it's time to do onto her as she has done to you....but you will take the high road and simply say no more. Give them credit for creating this man and that is it. You have got it from here.
Enjoy the love of your life, and what the two of you have.....life is so dang short to allow this. |
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Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | fatchance - 2014-05-08 7:10 PM I have read enough about this dysfunctional couple that just happened to create the man of your dreams to know they will never change, and you give them to much power. Now when I say that it simply means your allowing them to hurt you. This woman is crazy and she just simply keeps pushing your buttons to see what reactions she will get, when she doesn't get one, she pushes another one....and you stay close enough for her to do exactly that. It's more than time to distance yourself from them. Your husbands parents let him deal with them.....and to be honest I am shocked he is allowing this to continue. I like the two of you, but you better start fighting as a team and for the marriage. His parents(I include her spouse because he too could have spoke up) went where no parents belong. Your husband has the right to stand next to you and also say, no more. AND that is all that needs to be said. Time to take your power back, and NEVER want to hear another thing she has to say about anything. She does not matter....it's time to do onto her as she has done to you....but you will take the high road and simply say no more. Give them credit for creating this man and that is it. You have got it from here. Enjoy the love of your life, and what the two of you have.....life is so dang short to allow this.
He doesn't know about this today.
he has already put them in their place. Unfortunately I'm the one that keeps thinking I can fix things with them. Part of why they hate me is because he does stick up for me and tells them how it is, but then I keep telling him to ignore it. He wants them gone. To move back home. He just wants us to worry about us. He goes above and beyond to tell me he's in this with me no matter what and it will be his parents loss if we have to cut ties |
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Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | I want to add this was MY idea to move them closer to us. He did not want to for the reasons that are now obvious......but my bleeding heart wantd to try anyways......
at at least I did try...... |
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