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 Veteran
Posts: 135
 
Location: louisiana | Nothing to with horses but, the boyfriend wants to spend every weekend with his friends (brings me along cuz he wants to) but im getting tired of seeing them every weekend their main goal is just to drink and party, which is totally not me im not into the drinkin games and partyin all night every weekend. We do live together everything else is great between and he finds nothing wrong with spendin every weekend and get aways with them....so now I feel like the bad person when I say I don't wanna go see them or he gets mad when im ready to go home |
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 Horsey Gene Carrier
Posts: 1888
 
Location: LaBelle, Florida | Tell him how you feel. If he doesn't or won't take that into consideration it is time to 'trade up' cause he isn't going to change.
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Veteran
Posts: 135
Location: louisiana | we did talk his response was "we don't see them every weekend" and he stayed home with me pouted like a kid wouldn't talk to me and said ok im goin and left to hang with his friends or wants me to rotate all my plans around just so we can make his work |
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 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
 
Location: Kansas | ditch him.....He has no respect for you......so tell him to take a hike |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 1119
| My husband likes parties and big crowds and I prefer hanging out by myself or with just a few friends. We learned a long time ago that it works better if we a) drive separetly (our friends all live very close), b) he goes by himself, or c) the other wives/girlfriends and I make plans to do something we enjoy while the guys are hanging out. Those options work best for us so that I don't always have to be the bad guy and make him leave early. Sometimes he'll catch some flack for me not showing up places, but it's usually from people I don't want to hang out with anyways so I don't really care what they think!
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  Fact Checker
Posts: 16575
Location: Displaced Iowegian | hoofs_in_motion - 2014-07-09 4:25 PM ditch him.....He has no respect for you......so tell him to take a hike
^^^^ THIS.........and you both sound a tad bit immature! |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 507
Location: Lost in the corn of Iowa. | Tell him how you feel. And if he's not OK with the fact that you wanna do something else then it's time to make a change. Rather be alone and happy than together and miserable. JMHO |
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Veteran
Posts: 135
Location: louisiana | MissouriJen - 2014-07-09 4:28 PM
My husband likes parties and big crowds and I prefer hanging out by myself or with just a few friends. We learned a long time ago that it works better if we a) drive separetly (our friends all live very close), b) he goes by himself, or c) the other wives/girlfriends and I make plans to do something we enjoy while the guys are hanging out. Those options work best for us so that I don't always have to be the bad guy and make him leave early. Sometimes he'll catch some flack for me not showing up places, but it's usually from people I don't want to hang out with anyways so I don't really care what they think!
amen this is our situation we just ride together cause he drinks so that makes me the DD. and I just don't fit in with the girls is the main reason I don't like goin and he knows this im very country but clean up well and can look like the preppy girls but when you talk to these girls their all total air heads literally. I just have nothing in common with city slickers |
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | hoofs_in_motion - 2014-07-09 4:25 PM ditch him.....He has no respect for you......so tell him to take a hike
Ditto 
Find someone that likes to do what you like too. |
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | He sounds really self centered.  |
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 Warmblood with Wings
Posts: 27846
Location: Florida.. | How old is he? If he works all week and wants to party all weekend then thats just who he is at this stage in his life.. if its not who you are (which is good) then maybe your prioritys arent the same and you need a break from him.. and he from you.. communication is huge.. but if hes immature.. you cant ask him to change or him you.. it is what it is.. if he doesnt want to meet halfway then he chose his friends..
Edited by Bibliafarm 2014-07-09 4:47 PM
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 507
Location: Lost in the corn of Iowa. | Bibliafarm - 2014-07-09 4:45 PM How old is he?
I'd say he's about 6 yrs old if he's pouting because she doesn't wanna go somewhere.  |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 331
Location: Loma Linda, CA | jw1990 - 2014-07-09 4:23 PM
we did talk his response was "we don't see them every weekend" and he stayed home with me pouted like a kid wouldn't talk to me and said ok im goin and left to hang with his friends or wants me to rotate all my plans around just so we can make his work
Not to be rude, but is this guy like 18?
Or even just under 25? Lol.
This guy has ZERO respect for you! Like zero! Maybe even -100 respect points.
I'm 24, my guy is 29. When we lived where all our friends and family was we rarely actually hang out together. Maybe initially and I mean sometimes, but he's into dungeons and dragons kinda stuff and I'm into horses. I'd play his board games with him sometimes with his friends, but he went to some barrel races. But I didn't throw a fit if he wanted to spend time with his friends nor did he throw a fit if I wanted to barrel race or go spend time with mine.
Sometimes our plans would mesh together and we'd hang out with each others friends, most of the time not. We are together yet separate and independent.
Now we work opposite schedules (he works days, I work nights) so we treasure our time together, but we still do our separate things (he hangs out with his new colleagues & Im out meeting people and forming my own group of friends and yes we have made plans to do stuff with each of our new groups)
IMO, this is how it should be.
I dated a guy just like your boyfriend. He would whine and complain if I left to go be with my friends, start fights, whatever. (this guy was actually 25-28 when we dated, I don't think his maturity levels rose once he hit 18). I'd be left feeling like a jerk, like I owed him something. It's not worth it.
Ditch your boyfriend? No I wouldn't say this is a reason to break up or anything.
But definitely be honest and let him know what is happening! Sometimes it just takes an eye opening and people don't always realize what they are doing. :) Just bring it up in a positive manner so he doesn't go on the defense. Don't start a fight. :)
Edit: To add in to this the party phase can be a phase. I like going out every now and then, but I don't go out every weekend! Neither does Kyle. If he goes out it's a true rarity. My ex liked to party though.
Edited by Phxbarrel 2014-07-09 4:56 PM
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Veteran
Posts: 135
Location: louisiana | Bibliafarm - 2014-07-09 4:45 PM
How old is he? If he works all week and wants to party all weekend then thats just who he is at this stage in his life.. if its not who you are (which is good) then maybe your prioritys arent the same and you need a break from him.. and he from you.. communication is huge.. but if hes immature.. you cant ask him to change or him you.. it is what it is.. if he doesnt want to meet halfway then he chose his friends..
he is 24, when we met we really didn't go out that much but his whole group of friends changed the ones he saw every weekend when we met he doesn't really see them any more. which hes tryin to meet half way but instead of telling them no he comes up with an excuse tells them im sick or something |
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Warmblood with Wings
Posts: 27846
Location: Florida.. | jw1990 - 2014-07-09 5:57 PM Bibliafarm - 2014-07-09 4:45 PM How old is he? If he works all week and wants to party all weekend then thats just who he is at this stage in his life.. if its not who you are (which is good) then maybe your prioritys arent the same and you need a break from him.. and he from you.. communication is huge.. but if hes immature.. you cant ask him to change or him you.. it is what it is.. if he doesnt want to meet halfway then he chose his friends.. he is 24, when we met we really didn't go out that much but his whole group of friends changed the ones he saw every weekend when we met he doesn't really see them any more. which hes tryin to meet half way but instead of telling them no he comes up with an excuse tells them im sick or something
Hes still young.. but must respect you dont want to go.. so dont go with him.. let him pout and ignore him.. do your own thing... |
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 Chasin my Dream
Posts: 13651
Location: Alberta | Southtxponygirl - 2014-07-09 3:33 PM He sounds really self centered.
As hard as it can be to see at times when one is blinded by "love" there are MEN out there who want to spend TIME with their ladies and want to make them happy & respect them! I've been in your shoes OP and if your holding onto the hope he will marry you...sorry but dream on...move on...you deserve better....
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Blessed 
Location: Here | dream_chaser - 2014-07-09 5:07 PM Southtxponygirl - 2014-07-09 3:33 PM He sounds really self centered.
As hard as it can be to see at times when one is blinded by "love" there are MEN out there who want to spend TIME with their ladies and want to make them happy & respect them! I've been in your shoes OP and if your holding onto the hope he will marry you...sorry but dream on...move on...you deserve better....
^^^^^^. THIS^^^^^ |
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Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
Location: Kansas | dream_chaser - 2014-07-09 5:07 PM
Southtxponygirl - 2014-07-09 3:33 PM He sounds really self centered. As hard as it can be to see at times when one is blinded by "love" there are MEN out there who want to spend TIME with their ladies and want to make them happy & respect them! I've been in your shoes OP and if your holding onto the hope he will marry you...sorry but dream on...move on...you deserve better....
agreed |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 331
Location: Loma Linda, CA | This song comes to mind. Cross out girl replace with guy :P
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORyUYE86Wag
Edited by Phxbarrel 2014-07-09 5:23 PM
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Fact Checker
Posts: 16575
Location: Displaced Iowegian | SG. - 2014-07-09 5:10 PM dream_chaser - 2014-07-09 5:07 PM Southtxponygirl - 2014-07-09 3:33 PM He sounds really self centered.
As hard as it can be to see at times when one is blinded by "love" there are MEN out there who want to spend TIME with their ladies and want to make them happy & respect them! I've been in your shoes OP and if your holding onto the hope he will marry you...sorry but dream on...move on...you deserve better....
Agreed..........and if he is using YOU as an excuse to his "friends" because he isn't going out with them....he has no "balls" !!!! |
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