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boon
Posts: 1
| about 6 months ago I bought a finished barrel horse. Shes perfect in every way for me, shes great on the ranch great cow horse and runs an awesome pattern. The problem I'm having is that my husband doesn't support my dreams to rodeo and refuses to let me spend money to go on the road and compete... I can hardly get him to let me go to local jack pots. So now im stuck with the decision of whether to sell her not.. I really dont want because shes the kind of horse ive wished i could have my entire life and now i have her and cant use her... I feel its unfair for me to keep if i cant use her to her potential but Im also having a hard time with letting her go too... I dont know what to do and Im going crazy trying to figure it out.. I have a potential buyer that is willing to pay full price but I haven't committed to selling yet.... Advice??
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  Playing the Waiting Game
Posts: 2304
 
| Sell the husband and go rodeo!!
Sorry... I hope you can figure something out. |
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 Neat Freak
Posts: 11216
 
Location: Wonderful Wyoming | karliapril - 2014-08-29 11:02 AM about 6 months ago I bought a finished barrel horse. Shes perfect in every way for me, shes great on the ranch great cow horse and runs an awesome pattern. The problem I'm having is that my husband doesn't support my dreams to rodeo and refuses to let me spend money to go on the road and compete... I can hardly get him to let me go to local jack pots. So now im stuck with the decision of whether to sell her not.. I really dont want because shes the kind of horse ive wished i could have my entire life and now i have her and cant use her... I feel its unfair for me to keep if i cant use her to her potential but Im also having a hard time with letting her go too... I dont know what to do and Im going crazy trying to figure it out.. I have a potential buyer that is willing to pay full price but I haven't committed to selling yet.... Advice??
That's a tough one with the husband part. We've had a lot of bad luck lately and my husband is less than impressed with horses right now...and the injuries just keep a comin. These aren't even horses I am competing on, just radom crap. So I feel for ya and understand pretty well to. We met when I was barrel racing and it is just a part of me so he can take it or leave it. We've had some pretty ugly discussions, but we have been married 14 yrs now so I think we are on the up and up. Good luck to you |
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Draw the Line
Posts: 1371
Location: Too Far North | I really dont want because shes the kind of horse ive wished i could have my entire life
This sentence says everything. She sounds like your dream horse. KEEP HER.
She sounds well loved and you are happy with her. A wonderful combination. Nothing wrong with local jackpots and chasing cows at home. |
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 Expert
Posts: 2097
Location: Deep South | I realllllllllllllllyyyyyy shouldn't reply to this, because clearly you and I are nothing alike, BUT....
I'd be d@m#$% if my hubs told me I wasn't going to do something! (If you are experiencing financial hardships, and truly cannot afford to barrel race, and hubby is being the rational one here, then this does not apply.)
But seriously, my hunnie would never make those kinds of demands on me because he knows I would tell him to get the #$%@ over it. And I would never make demands like that on him. We are supportive of each others hobbies even if it's not something we like to do, because we love and respect each other.
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 Veteran
Posts: 113
Location: Tx | BamaCanChaser - 2014-08-29 12:10 PM I realllllllllllllllyyyyyy shouldn't reply to this, because clearly you and I are nothing alike, BUT.... I'd be d@m#$% if my hubs told me I wasn't going to do something! (If you are experiencing financial hardships, and truly cannot afford to barrel race, and hubby is being the rational one here, then this does not apply.) But seriously, my hunnie would never make those kinds of demands on me because he knows I would tell him to get the #$%@ over it. And I would never make demands like that on him. We are supportive of each others hobbies even if it's not something we like to do, because we love and respect each other.
^^^^ I second all of this! But, make sure this is not the reason... if so, step back and be happy local jackpots are even doable.
Edited by Next to Heaven 2014-08-29 12:17 PM
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 1182
Location: Do I hear Banjos? | If you guys are on firm financial ground...there should be a pot of money for each of you to use towards your own hobbies/interests. You can't tell him what to spend his on...and he can't tell you what to spend yours on. That's the way we have it.
No one person in the relationship should be able to trump the dream of the other. That's not ever a good thing to try to do. What are his reasons for not wanting you to compete? What does he spend money on? These are things I wonder. |
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 Whack and Roll
Posts: 6342
Location: NE Texas | BamaCanChaser - 2014-08-29 12:10 PM I realllllllllllllllyyyyyy shouldn't reply to this, because clearly you and I are nothing alike, BUT.... I'd be d@m#$% if my hubs told me I wasn't going to do something! (If you are experiencing financial hardships, and truly cannot afford to barrel race, and hubby is being the rational one here, then this does not apply.) But seriously, my hunnie would never make those kinds of demands on me because he knows I would tell him to get the #$%@ over it. And I would never make demands like that on him. We are supportive of each others hobbies even if it's not something we like to do, because we love and respect each other.
I heart you, Bama!
OP, did you not run barrels before you bought this dream horse? Is this a new hobby for you? What is his reasoning for not wanting you to compete even at the local level? |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 330
| BamaCanChaser - 2014-08-29 1:10 PM
I realllllllllllllllyyyyyy shouldn't reply to this, because clearly you and I are nothing alike, BUT....
I'd be d@m#$% if my hubs told me I wasn't going to do something! (If you are experiencing financial hardships, and truly cannot afford to barrel race, and hubby is being the rational one here, then this does not apply.)
But seriously, my hunnie would never make those kinds of demands on me because he knows I would tell him to get the #$%@ over it. And I would never make demands like that on him. We are supportive of each others hobbies even if it's not something we like to do, because we love and respect each other.
This, x 100,000,000!
Doesn't "let you"?
Financial troubles - maybe back off the hauling if you have bills to pay.
But if you can financially afford to do it and "he won't let" you?
PSSH! That would be the day! |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1079
| yaaaa...i do what i want.....and so does my hubby (within reason of course)
I hate hearing women say something to the effect of their husband "letting them" I understand all relationships are different but that kind of thinking is really not even in the realm of the way I was raised / live my life.
I agree with everyone else in the respect that if you barrel racing is having a negative impact on paying bills and buying groceries that is a different story.
Most men realize barrel racing women are their own breed long before they decide to marry them. |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 425
Location: GA | star1218 - 2014-08-29 2:12 PM yaaaa...i do what i want.....and so does my hubby (within reason of course)
I hate hearing women say something to the effect of their husband "letting them" I understand all relationships are different but that kind of thinking is really not even in the realm of the way I was raised / live my life.
I agree with everyone else in the respect that if you barrel racing is having a negative impact on paying bills and buying groceries that is a different story.
Most men realize barrel racing women are their own breed long before they decide to marry them.
Amen X 1561065460564!
SO says this all the time! |
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Expert
Posts: 2097
Location: Deep South | Herbie - 2014-08-29 1:00 PM
BamaCanChaser - 2014-08-29 12:10 PM I realllllllllllllllyyyyyy shouldn't reply to this, because clearly you and I are nothing alike, BUT.... I'd be d@m#$% if my hubs told me I wasn't going to do something! (If you are experiencing financial hardships, and truly cannot afford to barrel race, and hubby is being the rational one here, then this does not apply.) But seriously, my hunnie would never make those kinds of demands on me because he knows I would tell him to get the #$%@ over it. And I would never make demands like that on him. We are supportive of each others hobbies even if it's not something we like to do, because we love and respect each other.
I heart you, Bama!
OP, did you not run barrels before you bought this dream horse? Is this a new hobby for you? What is his reasoning for not wanting you to compete even at the local level?
Hehe! I <3 you also Herbie! |
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Expert
Posts: 2685
| If you guys can afford to go and still pay all of the bills comfortably he should not be telling you what you can and cannot like or do. It doesn't sound like you are telling him what he can or cannot like or do. I was married to a guy that did not mind the barrel racing or the $ I spent on the horses. The only thing he did mind was that I was bad about focusing solely on the horses and I would set him aside. There has to be balance. He may feel threatened. Not that he has any right to tell you what you can and cannot do but maybe if you included him in it he would be more apt to like the idea? I may be WAY off but that was my particular situation. |
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Veteran
Posts: 238
| As another thought, do you work or have income of your own? When my (now) husband found out how much I spend on my horses, he was very quick to tell me that he will never pay for them. He will support me, let me do what I want, but all of his hobbies combined don't add up to my 1. He has told me I can be a stay at home mom, but I have to pay for my horses.
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | karliapril - 2014-08-29 12:02 PM about 6 months ago I bought a finished barrel horse. Shes perfect in every way for me, shes great on the ranch great cow horse and runs an awesome pattern. The problem I'm having is that my husband doesn't support my dreams to rodeo and refuses to let me spend money to go on the road and compete... I can hardly get him to let me go to local jack pots. So now im stuck with the decision of whether to sell her not.. I really dont want because shes the kind of horse ive wished i could have my entire life and now i have her and cant use her... I feel its unfair for me to keep if i cant use her to her potential but Im also having a hard time with letting her go too... I dont know what to do and Im going crazy trying to figure it out.. I have a potential buyer that is willing to pay full price but I haven't committed to selling yet.... Advice??
Ok I didnt read all what the others had to say, but just wondering here, why did he let you buy this horse in the first place if he was not going to let you haul anywhere?  |
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 Fact Checker
Posts: 16572
Location: Displaced Iowegian | I will have to preface this by saying that when I read the sentence of “my husband won’t “let” me do something”, it tends to set my teeth to grinding. That being said, without the knowledge of your family’s financial situation, your husband’s spending habits and your financial contribution to the care, etc of this horse, it is hard to give you any advice. On the surface, I would say, keep the horse and don’t sell.
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 Horsey Gene Carrier
Posts: 1888
Location: LaBelle, Florida | Sounds like someone needs to be reminded of the golden rule...
If mama ain't happy, ain't no body happy.
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Miracle in the Making
Posts: 4013
| Who pays the bills and like the others said al you $$$$ sound comprise a little go local rodeos for awhile make some money doing it them get a sexy nightie a bottle of.....
then show him you can pay ur way doing it |
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 Expert
Posts: 3815
Location: The best kept secret in TX | My SO would be 6 foot under if he ever even thought about telling me I couldn't ride!!!
Ok maybe that's a bit too far...
BUT he has his hobbies, our little girl has hers and I have mine. We are all very vast in our hobbies and of them are expensive. We save about $100 from each check for bigger shows, rodeos, and accessories for Little Bit. We both help each other out in our goals and dreams. My SO says I'm crazy for rodeoing.. I think he's dumb for doing Motocross and Car Shows... But hey, I have a mechanic for my truck and he has a very pretty, fiesty little flashlight holder for those midnight break downs and redo's LOL
If you aren't happy... Tell him. Talk it out. No man should ever tell a woman she can't do anything without a good reason. Been there, done that. Won't ever go back to living that way.
You sound like you have a good connection... KEEP HER! |
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 Not Afraid to Work
Posts: 4717
| Are you bringing in money? Are you financially stable? If you can answer both questions... yes then i'd sell the husband. No man is worth selling your dreams. You wont be happy and its the start of the end. Sorry harsh but I truly believe that. |
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