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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 937
  
| How do you deal with the aftermath of suicide? I'm so mad and upset and have so many emotions running through me right now I don't know what to do. My father committed suicide Sunday and I'm so devastated right now. My brother was the one who found him and I hurt so bad for my brother. Nobody should have to see that. We have set up services and tried to get everything together but the list is so long. I never in a million years expected to be going through something like this... |
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 Veteran
Posts: 209
| I have been in your shoes before, my father committed suicide just shy of 4 years ago, my mom and I were the ones to find him, my sister was away at friends. It was her birthday. If you need anything please please please PM me. Or I can give you my facebook or phone number. It is hard to go through and its certainly not easy. Many prayers to you |
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
 
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | So sorry to read this, no advice for you all I can do is some hugs for you and say a prayer for you and your family.  |
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 Tried and True
Posts: 21185
Location: Where I am happiest | Oh gosh. I am so so sorry. I have no words of wisdom but my most sincere prayers are with you and your family. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 669
Location: Central Texas | hugs and prayers. There are suicide support groups out there. Reach out to one. |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 425
Location: California | 
So sorry to hear this! Just know your father will always be with you & looking over you. I lost my father about 11 yrs ago now. Honestly it doesn't really get that much easier... it's more like you just get used to missing someone. Let all of your emotions take over, because they're going to eventually. Don't hold anything back. I still have moments where I break down.
All you can do is be there for your brother, & go through this together. Don't ask yourself questions (why, what could you have done diff. etc), because you will most likely never know the answers... it can be extremely hard, but you don't want to beat yourself up over something you couldn't control.
Edited by ccarpe18 2015-02-26 12:31 PM
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 Ima Fickle Fan
Posts: 3547
Location: Texas | First off, I wish I could give you a million hugs. My heart hurts for you and your family. I lost my brother (only full sibling) and uncle to suicide.
Here is what I have learned:
1. The anger is natural. Don't feel guilty for it.
2. You will never have the answers you want. Those left behind want to make sense of it all. To make sense of it requires answer that only your father could give you.
3. We will never understand the demons people face. We never truly know the battle each person is dealing with.
4. We want to understand suicide with a rational and logical mind. A person who commits suicide is neither of the two.
5. God loves each of us. Only God knows what is in our hearts and minds. He understands our struggles. Never for a moment believe that your father will be in hell for what he did. Only God determines our fates and he knows our challenges.
6. People call suicide selfish because of the pain inflicted on those left behind. From my experiences, it would be selfish on my part to force the daily struggles upon my brother and uncle so I would not feel sorrow and loss.
I know I will see both of them again. I know that this life is temporary and Heaven is eternal. While that doesn't make the pain any less, it makes the sorrow bearable.
Prayers for your family.
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 Namesless in BHW
Posts: 10368
Location: At the race track with Ah Dee Ohs | Oh gosh. Many prayers for you and your brother. I have no advice, just hugs and prayers. |
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 I Prefer to Live in Fantasy Land
Posts: 64864
Location: In the Hills of Texas | I'm lost for words. No one should have to lose a family member this way.
Hugs and prayers.. |
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Location: Texas | I am so sorry to hear this. Dear Lord, please wrap your arms around this family during this time of pain and loss, lift them up with strength and courage to get through this hard time.
My dad, found my aunt (his brother's wife), hanging from the rafters of their barn. On a blanket below her, my 10 month old cousin was playing. My father had to get her down, call his brother with the news and 911. We were all sad, confused and shocked. But, my dad was just plain mad. He did not attend the funeral, to this day will not talk about it and if someone brings her name up he will instantly get mad and walk away.
With that being said, I can only hope yourself and your family are able to get though this without anger. I know everyone handles death differently but in this case I would highly suggest seeing a therapist.
Many, many prayers for yourself and your family!!! |
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 Roan Wonder
Location: SW MO | aggiejudger - 2015-02-26 12:31 PM
First off, I wish I could give you a million hugs. My heart hurts for you and your family. I lost my brother (only full sibling) and uncle to suicide.
Here is what I have learned:
1. The anger is natural. Don't feel guilty for it.
2. You will never have the answers you want. Those left behind want to make sense of it all. To make sense of it requires answer that only your father could give you.
3. We will never understand the demons people face. We never truly know the battle each person is dealing with.
4. We want to understand suicide with a rational and logical mind. A person who commits suicide is neither of the two.
5. God loves each of us. Only God knows what is in our hearts and minds. He understands our struggles. Never for a moment believe that your father will be in hell for what he did. Only God determines our fates and he knows our challenges. 6. People call suicide selfish because of the pain inflicted on those left behind. From my experiences, it would be selfish on my part to force the daily struggles upon my brother and uncle so I would not feel sorrow and loss. I know I will see both of them again. I know that this life is temporary and Heaven is eternal. While that doesn't make the pain any less, it makes the sorrow bearable. Prayers for your family.
This says it all and says it wonderfully
Prayers for you and your family |
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 Party Girl
Posts: 12293
Location: Buffalo, Wyoming | Many to you.
4 weeks ago this Saturday and very close friend of mine comitted suicide. I will never ever fathom why he did this. He was always a happy go lucky guy.
I have found comfort in the sunset and sunrise over the mountains. That is where he loved to be. I took a picture a weekend after it happened and when I went back to look at the picture there was a little black speck that was not there to begin with. I feel that was KC telling me he was there. I also had a very vivid dream about him last week. He was holding my hand through the whole dream. I woke in the best mood I had been in since I heard the news. I think he was telling he was doing good and will always be with me.
I still break down uncontrollably (which I am sure I will do for many years to come) but I find strength knowing I have the best guardian angle watching over me. |
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 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
Location: Kansas | I'm so sorry, many many prayers for you and your family. I've been there, but on the other side. I pray you find peace through this. |
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 Expert
Posts: 1898
| Hugs to you and your family.
I can't say I know how you feel or where you are coming from. What I can say is I have experienced this tragedy twice.
A friend of mine who was like my other mother took her own life about 8 years ago. It was unbelievably hard for me. I was hurt, mad, upset, lost, you name it I suffered that emotion. Like someone else said, you never get over it, you just learn to live with it. There are still songs I can't listen to because they make me sob like a baby.
In grade school and high school my husband had two very close friends. The three of them were like brothers. Last March, life became to much for one of the friends and he choose to leave this world. My husband's other friend was on the phone with him when he did it. Almost a year later and he still calls my husband in tears asking why he couldn't stop him.
For some people, the suffering becomes more than they can bare. There is no amount of counseling or prescription that can make them better. The only way they see the pain stopping is to leave this world behind. Both of my friends felt like if they were gone everything would be better for the people around them. Just remember that there is nothing you could have done.
Remember him for the good and the joy he brought. Remember for who he was before.
If you need anything please don't hesitate to send me a PM or I as well will give you my facebook. This is a hard long journey. Prayers to you and your brother. I hope you find peace in knowing that your father is no longer suffering. |
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 Expert
Posts: 2161
Location: NW. Florida | So sorry. |
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 BHW's Lance Armstrong 
Posts: 11134
Location: Somewhere between S@%&# stirrer and Saint | So sorry for you and your family and all others that have experienced this. When a person is at their lowest it is very hard to understand their thinking. No matter how low you feel there is hope and someone to help you even if you don't see it. God bless
PS the Savior is there to succor you if you turn to Him for comfort. It may be hard to see but search and He will be there.
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 937
| aggiejudger - 2015-02-26 12:31 PM First off, I wish I could give you a million hugs. My heart hurts for you and your family. I lost my brother (only full sibling) and uncle to suicide.
Here is what I have learned:
1. The anger is natural. Don't feel guilty for it.
2. You will never have the answers you want. Those left behind want to make sense of it all. To make sense of it requires answer that only your father could give you.
3. We will never understand the demons people face. We never truly know the battle each person is dealing with.
4. We want to understand suicide with a rational and logical mind. A person who commits suicide is neither of the two.
5. God loves each of us. Only God knows what is in our hearts and minds. He understands our struggles. Never for a moment believe that your father will be in hell for what he did. Only God determines our fates and he knows our challenges.
6. People call suicide selfish because of the pain inflicted on those left behind. From my experiences, it would be selfish on my part to force the daily struggles upon my brother and uncle so I would not feel sorrow and loss.
I know I will see both of them again. I know that this life is temporary and Heaven is eternal. While that doesn't make the pain any less, it makes the sorrow bearable.
Prayers for your family.
I am struggling and worried about his soul. My brother has already said he thinks he has gone to hell and when he talks about it I get really upset. I don't want to believe he has gone to hell. I want to see my Dad again in heaven but I am so worried about it.
I don't think I will ever understand why he choose this but I am glad he isn't in pain anymore.
I think what has hit me the hardest was he had out all of my old buckles on his dresser looking at them before he died and I just wonder why I or my brother couldn't be enough of a reason for him to try and stick around.
My parents were divorced so me and my brother are the closest relatives and are responsible for everything. His debt and estate and everything will be going into probate and I am scared to death about this as well. |
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 Sorry I don't have any advice
Posts: 1975
Location: Sunnyland Florida |
Prayers for you and all of your family during this difficult time.
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Nut Case Expert
Posts: 9305
Location: Tulsa, Ok | People who resort to suicide have to be in a place so deep and so dark that nobody that has not been there can begin to concieve of understand the depth of their illness. My heart goes out to you and your family. I hope you will eventually find peace with this tragedy. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 1162
Location: White Mountains of AZ | Suicide is hard. I am soooo very sorry for your loss! I lost a friend to suicide few years back. Very unexpected. Her mother found her in the barn on the moms property. Even now, I tear up. Just imagine a thousand hugs and even more prayers for you and your family. BHW family is very big and is here for you ! :) |
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