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Veteran
Posts: 160
 
| I have always believed in God but as i am getting older i have a real desire to learn more about him and become more spiritual. ..heres where it gets sticky. I go to church with my husband, his kids and the whole family. ( his parents and siblings) ...but i dont like their churc. i do not feel any spiritual fulfilment. I feel like his bishop stares at me the whole time in judgement which gives me so much anxiety..
So do i continue to go to a church that makes me anxious, and keep my family happy??? Uhh . |
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
 
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | paturninburnin89 - 2015-04-21 6:34 PM I have always believed in God but as i am getting older i have a real desire to learn more about him and become more spiritual. ..heres where it gets sticky. I go to church with my husband, his kids and the whole family. ( his parents and siblings) ...but i dont like their churc. i do not feel any spiritual fulfilment. I feel like his bishop stares at me the whole time in judgement which gives me so much anxiety.. So do i continue to go to a church that makes me anxious, and keep my family happy??? Uhh .
Find another church that you will find that fits your needs. Not all churches are the same and they dont fit everybody, find one that fits you. |
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 The Vaccinator
Posts: 3810
 
Location: Slipping down the slope of old age. Boo hoo. | Make an appointment with the Bishop to go and speak with him - clear the air. |
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | If your a country girl find a country church, they are awesome  |
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Veteran
Posts: 160
| I would love a country church!!! Only see them at barrel races though. My husband and his family would probably be upset i mean really upset if i didnt go and i would be a bad example to my step kids. I guess this is probably more of a vent.... |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 725
| Go to a church that is nonjudgmental, and accepts everyone for who they are, you may have to go "church trying", ask people, see who likes what church, visit a different church every week for a couple months until you find "the one". Break tradition, and go to a church that strengths your relationship with Christ, not just one that has been in the family for generations. We recently switched from the "family church" that the family had been going to for many generations to a nontraditional, modern church, that is UNBELIEVABLE, and don't regret it one bit! The minute we walked in, I got goosebumps, and the worship...amazing, the message...amazing. You could just tell Oh, Buddy! This is the one! Praying that you find your "one"! |
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Location: Texas | I was raised Baptist and had gone to the same church my entire life. So, when my husband and I got married, and his family ask us to start attending their church, I was excited. After nearly a year of attending this church, I dreaded Sunday mornjngs, I got absolutely no spiritual knowledge or guidance. Many judgmental hypocrites made up the congregation. I started to skip and find other things to do on Sunday mornings - I honestly felt I could learn and worship God on my front porch better than in that church.
I told my husband why I did not like the church and he agreed, so we tried the church we now attend and love it. We love going to church, our kids love it, the preacher is amazing and the people who make up our congregation are the most down to earth, loving and so welcoming. It was a great choice and I only wish we had made that choice sooner. |
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Expert
Posts: 1586
Location: west of East Texas | I understand about the 'family' church. Before rocking the family boat about it, look around for a bible study in your area. Even our small town has several going at a time and it is no big deal if members 'cross over' from one of the other churchs. The bigger your town, the better options you'll have. |
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Veteran
Posts: 160
| Thank you everyone for the great advice. I do dread Sundays and am always hoping to find a way out hoping i can find the one that makesme feel complete. Thanks again for the encoencouragement: ) |
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 Serious Snap Trapper
Posts: 4275
Location: In The Snow, AZ | Aren't we all taught to be nonjudgemental? If his family cannot understand your personal reasons to try different churches, then maybe they aren't in the right church either....
Hubby and I "Church Hopped" a bit. We tried out four churches before finding OURS. One church was so tiny (20 or so people) that we were swarmed as soon as we stepped in. They also showed up at our house to visit. Awkward.... One is one of our cities biggest churches. But it is what's considered a "feel good" church. He doesn't read from the Bible. Talks about how forgiving, loving and generous our Lord is...Which He is, but that's not what needs learned in the entirety (sp?) of it.... And it was more of a chore to go and toothpick my eyes open to stay awake. I literally watched a girl fall asleep there on more than one occasion.
The church we are a part of now is AMAZING. Our Pastor is so passionate and LOVES proclaiming what Jesus has done for us. He reads straight from the Bible. No sugar coating. Tells it like it is. And I feel EXCITEMENT about going every Sunday. I feel like Christ is working in me and my husband as well. We are so blessed to have found such an awesome place.... And if you don't feel that..... maybe you should look somewhere else! |
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 Popped
Posts: 20421
Location: LuluLand~along I64 Indiana | my reply is going to be a little different.... bring church home...
explore it with your husband and your kids at home. there are many bible studies and videos you can sit down together and search and learn. at that point maybe you will stoke the fire and your immeadiate family will also be interested in finding a church more suited to exploring the word and not just sitting in a pew with family to apease them? they may not but at that point when your husband sees what you are looking for maybe you can find a way to apease both family and thirst for the word.
Also when i get thirsty for something more at my church i get more active in one of the groups available. the womens group, pastor parish relations or a bible study. If your church does not offer a small bible study group maybe you can ask that the start one. have a sunday school teacher lead it if the bishop doesnt want to. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 464
| I'll feel like chicken little here in minute, from all the fall out. Your husband should be the spiritual leader of your home. Go straight to him with your concerns. Let him handle the family. |
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 Expert
Posts: 3815
Location: The best kept secret in TX | I had this problem when I was younger and single. I din't like the church my parents attended and was given the cold shoulder for months about switching churches and my membership. But after a while they saw how excited my new church made me about The Lord and how much more involved I was in the church. They eventually supported me in my decision. They evn started looking for a new church home.
My SO and I currently attend their new church with them and we all enjoy my parents new church together.
Good luck. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 550
| chasendacash - 2015-04-22 12:11 AM
I understand about the 'family' church. Before rocking the family boat about it, look around for a bible study in your area. Even our small town has several going at a time and it is no big deal if members 'cross over' from one of the other churchs. The bigger your town, the better options you'll have.
This was going to be my suggestion.
You can also "feed" yourself, so to speak.
There are online studies, books, and just the bible & prayer. Maybe take whatever the bishop is preaching on, and find & read related scriptures that speak to you so you don't feel like that is wasted time. |
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 Expert
Posts: 1395
Location: Missouri | First off, I'm very sorry you're feeling this way. Church of all places isn't where we should feel uncomfortable and unwanted and shame on the bishop for staring :( I think whoever mentioned talking with your husband is right, it may be good to get your feelings out in the open to him (assuming you haven't already?)
I also understand the struggles of 'family church' with the inlaws. I genuinely love our church and feel at home there. The part I don't love is going with the in laws...but that's a whole other can of worms. Hubby and I now mostly go to another service so we feel it's more our 'own.'
I definitely think you need to be in a place where the Word is preached and you can grow and serve, and it sounds like at this time, this isn't the church where you should be. I don't have a lot of good advice, I'm sorry :/ just wanted to say best of luck to you, and offer encouragement. |
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