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 Warrior Mom
Posts: 4400
 
| Please don't judge me or think I'm a horrible person I just need some insight and maybe some advice. We divorced over 6 years ago we had 2 kids together . He left us my son was only a few months old at the time. He chose another woman over us and asked me to leave the house with kids so I did... when our divorce was final he put on a 100 mile restriction on how far I could move the kids. Fine... well I'm remarried been married just shy of 5 years now. Anyway with my ex husband consent we moved well over 100 miles away for my husband's job. We figured we'd only be here for a year but it's turned into 2 and his job is going extremely well and he's gotten a huge promotion with great pay .. something that he'd never get "back home ". My ex has been cool and said no problem with us staying here. We travel back every other weekend to take kids to him and I allow them to stay with him as much as I possibly can.. holidays and school breaks etc etc.. so he basically gets the kids every other weekend just like he did when we lived within the 100 miles restrictions. Well now he's deciding he doesn't like these arrangements anymore and he's getting ugly.. meaning he's probably got another girlfriend with kids and is now wanting us to move back. We've been out here for 2 years already. I did speak with an attorney when we first moved and he told me as long as we have established residence for 6 months there's not a whole lot he can do and he'd be forced to come to court in my area. I sure don't want to go to court but he's getting nasty and demanding and my husband and I don't want to leave where we are .. the kids are doing amazing here and excelling in school and are very happy here too. They are 9 and 6. Trying to talk to him is very hard because it gets heated. Just kinda figure out if I have a leg to stand on in a court situation. .. praying it doesn't come to that .. I just wish he'd realize he's not going to see them anymore than he is now. There's only been a few times we didn't make it back on a rotation weekend because the kids were I'll or the weather was really bad and roads icy. Other than that the last 2 years he's seen them every other weekend and I give him all holidays even tho I don't have to. |
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 Dog Resuce Agent
Posts: 3459
 
Location: southeast Texas | I'm not a lawyer....... But, it looks as he has established a base of letting the kids go over the 100 mile boundary for more than a year. What ever records you have, gather them up proving you made it back during the appointed time. Plus I'd get the weekends you weren't able to make it back records proving weather, illness etc.
then get you a good lawyer and let them duke it out. No more heated exchanges on phone.
Good luck |
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Expert
Posts: 1561
| What kids need to spend time with their dad anyways? |
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| Let him rant and rave and stop answering his calls and stop taking the kids to him. It is job to come get the kids and bring them back at certain times.
You have made too many concessions and spoiled him rotten ... makes one think you are still in love with him and will take any opportunity to see him every time you can.
Save your money on an attorney and keep a daily log of all calls with a simple 3 ring note book and conversations including recording and like I said before ... stop answering his calls or talking to him.
Think twice about you doing this ...>>> sending an email on his week ends letting him know if he could stay over when picking up the kids so little Johnny or Suzy could participate in a ballgame, barrel race or other activities they are involved in and how they are looking forward to seeing daddy and watching them play etc .. .... and this does not mean that you go to the same event ... take your current husband and go have some time together.
The kids are now old enough to do the calling to see if Dad is going to pick them up or not and also ask to play in games etc on his weekend .. you keep out of it!! If he is a no show or sez he can't .... no dissing him to kids .... just do your normal parenting and take care of the kids!!
You do not need to go consult any attorneys ... wait on blabber mouth to file any paperwork.. Then Get an attorney to cross file on extending the mileage that you are now and make a point of the 50 mile difference from the original. If you file thru the same divorce court judge .. it might get rubber stamped immediately if he does not do something to counter it immediately....
Play hard ball if he files on you ... counter it and ask for your attorney fees to be paid, increase child support amount, if he is behind ask for it too, change to him picking up kids and bringing them home at certain times. stop the freebie holiday routine into every other year and scare the crap out of him by asking him to provide health insurance for the kids, pay for braces, emergency room care (even tho you know you are going to maintain health insurance thru your husbands insurance) ... just re-write the original divorce to a new updated version sine ex-hubby is probably making more money now ...
ALWAYS KEEP IN MIND ... IF YOU DO NOT ASK FOR THESE ITEMS YOU CANNOT BRING THEM UP IN COURT FOR THE JUDGE TO MAKE A DECISION .. HE WILL ONLY LOOK AT WHAT HAS BEEN FILED IN WRITING !!
ALSO .. most important ... attorneys will evaluate both of you as to how much you both are good for in attorney fees and prolong the ordeal until they suck both of your bank accts dry ... attorney's are not there to end any litigations ... but to keep 1-2-3 hundred people paying a $100 to $1000 per month by prolonging court cases .... How do you think they get rich .. it sure isn't by getting you into court and out of court in a short period of time.
AND AGAIN .. STOP BEING HIS KID CHAUFFER AND TALKING TO HIM OR ANSWERING HIS EMAILS UNLESS IT IS STRICTLY ABOUT THE KIDS ... YOUR BEST COMMUNICATIONS WOULD BE BY EMAIL REFERRING TO HIS PHONE CALL ETC ETC !!
Edited by BARRELHORSE USA 2015-05-03 3:07 PM
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Warrior Mom
Posts: 4400
| Itsme - 2015-05-03 2:53 PM
What kids need to spend time with their dad anyways?
This is the only response I'm going to waste my time on you... he's not a good father ... he kicked me and our two kids to the curb because he wanted to get his jollies with a gal at his work. He didn't take the kids for the first 6 months of our divorce and didn't pay a dime until the child support kicked in. He's come out to our place 1 time in two years to watch my daughter in her first barrel race yet our son was in the hospital for 4 days here and he didn't make it. My kids have an amazing relationship with their step father, my husband. . He stepped in when their real father was too busy with his head up his rear end acting like a horny frat boy. |
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Warrior Mom
Posts: 4400
| BARRELHORSE USA - 2015-05-03 2:59 PM
Let him rant and rave and stop answering his calls and stop taking the kids to him. It is job to come get the kids and bring them back at certain times.
You have made too many concessions and spoiled him rotten ... makes one think you are still in love with him and will take any opportunity to see him every time you can.
Save your money on an attorney and keep a daily log of all calls with a simple 3 ring note book and conversations including recording and like I said before ... stop answering his calls or talking to him.
Think twice about you doing this ...>>> sending an email on his week ends letting him know if he could stay over when picking up the kids so little Johnny or Suzy could participate in a ballgame, barrel race or other activities they are involved in and how they are looking forward to seeing daddy and watching them play etc .. .... and this does not mean that you go to the same event ... take your current husband and go have some time together.
The kids are now old enough to do the calling to see if Dad is going to pick them up or not and also ask to play in games etc on his weekend .. you keep out of it!! If he is a no show or sez he can't .... no dissing him to kids .... just do your normal parenting and take care of the kids!!
You do not need to go consult any attorneys ... wait on blabber mouth to file any paperwork.. Then Get an attorney to cross file on extending the mileage that you are now and make a point of the 50 mile difference from the original. If you file thru the same divorce court judge .. it might get rubber stamped immediately if he does not do something to counter it immediately....
Play hard ball if he files on you ... counter it and ask for your attorney fees to be paid, increase child support amount, if he is behind ask for it too, change to him picking up kids and bringing them home at certain times. stop the freebie holiday routine into every other year and scare the crap out of him by asking him to provide health insurance for the kids, pay for braces, emergency room care (even tho you know you are going to maintain health insurance thru your husbands insurance) ... just re-write the original divorce to a new updated version sine ex-hubby is probably making more money now ...
ALWAYS KEEP IN MIND ... IF YOU DO NOT ASK FOR THESE ITEMS YOU CANNOT BRING THEM UP IN COURT FOR THE JUDGE TO MAKE A DECISION .. HE WILL ONLY LOOK AT WHAT HAS BEEN FILED IN WRITING !!
ALSO .. most important ... attorneys will evaluate both of you as to how much you both are good for in attorney fees and prolong the ordeal until they suck both of your bank accts dry ... attorney's are not there to end any litigations ... but to keep 1-2-3 hundred people paying a $100 to $1000 per month by prolonging court cases .... How do you think they get rich .. it sure isn't by getting you into court and out of court in a short period of time.
AND AGAIN .. STOP BEING HIS KID CHAUFFER AND TALKING TO HIM OR ANSWERING HIS EMAILS UNLESS IT IS STRICTLY ABOUT THE KIDS ... YOUR BEST COMMUNICATIONS WOULD BE BY EMAIL REFERRING TO HIS PHONE CALL ETC ETC !!
Thank you. I can assure you I do not cater to him because I like him or want to see him I do it for the kids to see him even though I think they'd be alot better off not to sometimes. I don't take them actually my husband does it for me so I don't have to see or talk to him in person. Last conversation we had over the phone got ugly because I told him we needed to be where my husband had a good paying job because he's our family's provider I stay home with our youngest son who's 3. (Me and my now hubbys) he blew up saying he provides by paying his child support and that my husband IS NOT my sole provider. I hung up and that ended that. |
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 A Barrel Of Monkeys
Posts: 12972
Location: Texas | want2chase3 - 2015-05-03 3:01 PM Itsme - 2015-05-03 2:53 PM What kids need to spend time with their dad anyways? This is the only response I'm going to waste my time on you... he's not a good father ... he kicked me and our two kids to the curb because he wanted to get his jollies with a gal at his work. He didn't take the kids for the first 6 months of our divorce and didn't pay a dime until the child support kicked in. He's come out to our place 1 time in two years to watch my daughter in her first barrel race yet our son was in the hospital for 4 days here and he didn't make it. My kids have an amazing relationship with their step father, my husband. . He stepped in when their real father was too busy with his head up his rear end acting like a horny frat boy.
I remember vividly when it all went down. Still think the ex is a big POS and a poor excuse for a man. I'm so happy for you now that you have a real husband. |
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Warrior Mom
Posts: 4400
| Fun2Run - 2015-05-03 3:32 PM
want2chase3 - 2015-05-03 3:01 PM Itsme - 2015-05-03 2:53 PM What kids need to spend time with their dad anyways? This is the only response I'm going to waste my time on you... he's not a good father ... he kicked me and our two kids to the curb because he wanted to get his jollies with a gal at his work. He didn't take the kids for the first 6 months of our divorce and didn't pay a dime until the child support kicked in. He's come out to our place 1 time in two years to watch my daughter in her first barrel race yet our son was in the hospital for 4 days here and he didn't make it. My kids have an amazing relationship with their step father, my husband. . He stepped in when their real father was too busy with his head up his rear end acting like a horny frat boy.
Yes I was so fortunate that so many great ladies on here helped me get thru that horrible time! |
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 Money Eating Baggage Owner
Posts: 9586
Location: Phoenix | Itsme - 2015-05-03 12:53 PM
What kids need to spend time with their dad anyways?
While I appreciate your horse related advice.....why BOTHER posting something so negative and non-helpful? Do you just need to hear yourself talk?
To the OP....Good luck. I have no experience but it sounds like you have a leg up on him. I wouldn't give him the time of day to be honest. He kicked you out initially and now wants you to move back?! Yeah f*ckin RIGHT!!! Stand your ground. Good luck and I hope this works out in your favor. |
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Warrior Mom
Posts: 4400
| hammer_time - 2015-05-03 3:52 PM
Itsme - 2015-05-03 12:53 PM
What kids need to spend time with their dad anyways?
While I appreciate your horse related advice.....why BOTHER posting something so negative and non-helpful? Do you just need to hear yourself talk?
To the OP....Good luck. I have no experience but it sounds like you have a leg up on him. I wouldn't give him the time of day to be honest. He kicked you out initially and now wants you to move back?! Yeah f*ckin RIGHT!!! Stand your ground. Good luck and I hope this works out in your favor.
Thank you very much. I'm really hoping the dust will settle soon. I may go talk with an attorney out here just to get some insight on how this potentially could go down. And if what the other attorney told be about establishing residence for 6 months in another county means he has to come here for a court trial is actually true. |
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 Expert
Posts: 1395
Location: Missouri | roxieannie - 2015-05-03 2:21 PM
I'm not a lawyer....... But, it looks as he has established a base of letting the kids go over the 100 mile boundary for more than a year. What ever records you have, gather them up proving you made it back during the appointed time. Plus I'd get the weekends you weren't able to make it back records proving weather, illness etc.
then get you a good lawyer and let them duke it out. No more heated exchanges on phone.
Good luck
This is what I was thinking. When you say 'with his consent' was it in writing and would you still have those records by chance?? If so, I don't there's anything he can do. Good luck to you! |
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Warrior Mom
Posts: 4400
| MOGirl07 - 2015-05-03 5:48 PM
roxieannie - 2015-05-03 2:21 PM
I'm not a lawyer....... But, it looks as he has established a base of letting the kids go over the 100 mile boundary for more than a year. What ever records you have, gather them up proving you made it back during the appointed time. Plus I'd get the weekends you weren't able to make it back records proving weather, illness etc.
then get you a good lawyer and let them duke it out. No more heated exchanges on phone.
Good luck
This is what I was thinking. When you say 'with his consent' was it in writing and would you still have those records by chance?? If so, I don't there's anything he can do. Good luck to you!
I do have the consent documented via text ... not sure if that's good enough but I do have it printed out. I emailed it to myself and printed it. |
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 The Vaccinator
Posts: 3810
Location: Slipping down the slope of old age. Boo hoo. | I think you are being wise to consult with an attorney in your area. Take all the documentation you have -- the attorney and court will need to see documentation. |
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 Don't Wanna Make This Awkward
Posts: 3106
Location: Texas | want2chase3 - 2015-05-03 5:53 PM MOGirl07 - 2015-05-03 5:48 PM roxieannie - 2015-05-03 2:21 PM I'm not a lawyer....... But, it looks as he has established a base of letting the kids go over the 100 mile boundary for more than a year. What ever records you have, gather them up proving you made it back during the appointed time. Plus I'd get the weekends you weren't able to make it back records proving weather, illness etc.
then get you a good lawyer and let them duke it out. No more heated exchanges on phone.
Good luck This is what I was thinking. When you say 'with his consent' was it in writing and would you still have those records by chance?? If so, I don't there's anything he can do. Good luck to you! I do have the consent documented via text ... not sure if that's good enough but I do have it printed out. I emailed it to myself and printed it.
It's better than nothing so stay positive! I think it's hard to get into details online because laws change in almost every state... Good luck! I hope it doesn't go as far as court and I think it's great the kids have still gotten to see their father. POS or not he's still their dad and they can decide that on their own... |
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  Warmblood with Wings
Posts: 27846
Location: Florida.. | BARRELHORSE USA - 2015-05-03 3:59 PM Let him rant and rave and stop answering his calls and stop taking the kids to him. It is job to come get the kids and bring them back at certain times. You have made too many concessions and spoiled him rotten ... makes one think you are still in love with him and will take any opportunity to see him every time you can. Save your money on an attorney and keep a daily log of all calls with a simple 3 ring note book and conversations including recording and like I said before ... stop answering his calls or talking to him. Think twice about you doing this ...>>> sending an email on his week ends letting him know if he could stay over when picking up the kids so little Johnny or Suzy could participate in a ballgame, barrel race or other activities they are involved in and how they are looking forward to seeing daddy and watching them play etc .. .... and this does not mean that you go to the same event ... take your current husband and go have some time together. The kids are now old enough to do the calling to see if Dad is going to pick them up or not and also ask to play in games etc on his weekend .. you keep out of it!! If he is a no show or sez he can't .... no dissing him to kids .... just do your normal parenting and take care of the kids!! You do not need to go consult any attorneys ... wait on blabber mouth to file any paperwork.. Then Get an attorney to cross file on extending the mileage that you are now and make a point of the 50 mile difference from the original. If you file thru the same divorce court judge .. it might get rubber stamped immediately if he does not do something to counter it immediately.... Play hard ball if he files on you ... counter it and ask for your attorney fees to be paid, increase child support amount, if he is behind ask for it too, change to him picking up kids and bringing them home at certain times. stop the freebie holiday routine into every other year and scare the crap out of him by asking him to provide health insurance for the kids, pay for braces, emergency room care (even tho you know you are going to maintain health insurance thru your husbands insurance) ... just re-write the original divorce to a new updated version sine ex-hubby is probably making more money now ... ALWAYS KEEP IN MIND ... IF YOU DO NOT ASK FOR THESE ITEMS YOU CANNOT BRING THEM UP IN COURT FOR THE JUDGE TO MAKE A DECISION .. HE WILL ONLY LOOK AT WHAT HAS BEEN FILED IN WRITING !! ALSO .. most important ... attorneys will evaluate both of you as to how much you both are good for in attorney fees and prolong the ordeal until they suck both of your bank accts dry ... attorney's are not there to end any litigations ... but to keep 1-2-3 hundred people paying a $100 to $1000 per month by prolonging court cases .... How do you think they get rich .. it sure isn't by getting you into court and out of court in a short period of time. AND AGAIN .. STOP BEING HIS KID CHAUFFER AND TALKING TO HIM OR ANSWERING HIS EMAILS UNLESS IT IS STRICTLY ABOUT THE KIDS ... YOUR BEST COMMUNICATIONS WOULD BE BY EMAIL REFERRING TO HIS PHONE CALL ETC ETC !!
If shes out of the range then no it is not.
but I dont think ex can make you move back when he said go.. its ok.. |
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Porta Potty Pants
Posts: 2600
| As was posted earlier … laws are different in every state.
However, what is pretty consistent throughout is the decision are supposed to support the best interest of the child. Clearly, the best interest of the child also presumes that an on-going meaningful relationship with both parents - regardless of where you reside.
If he consented - or didn't dispute at the time you moved and he is still having a meaningful relationship with the kids - I'm not sure he can complain and require you to move back.
I think it would be different if he didn't get to see his kids. I also think it would be different if he didn't consent for you to move. From what you've posted - you've gone above and beyond.
Get yourself a binder and print everything. Texts, emails, etc. Hard to dispute that he consented if there were discussions about transportation, etc.
Good luck! |
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 My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | MOGirl07 - 2015-05-03 5:48 PM
roxieannie - 2015-05-03 2:21 PM
I'm not a lawyer....... But, it looks as he has established a base of letting the kids go over the 100 mile boundary for more than a year. What ever records you have, gather them up proving you made it back during the appointed time. Plus I'd get the weekends you weren't able to make it back records proving weather, illness etc.
then get you a good lawyer and let them duke it out. No more heated exchanges on phone.
Good luck
This is what I was thinking. When you say 'with his consent' was it in writing and would you still have those records by chance?? If so, I don't there's anything he can do. Good luck to you!
I was wondering if the "farther than 100 miles" was in writing too. That would be a big plus right there. I went thru an ugly divorce also and hope all this goes the way it should for you and your family. |
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Warrior Mom
Posts: 4400
| He decided today and told my husband that we should be expecting papers very soon because he's taking me to court to try to get 50% custody of the kids. Worse is that he's been telling the kids this as well. My husband asked him yesterday if he would like to have the kids for a few weeks because they get out of school in two weeks for the summer break and he told him there's no way he could take them that long because of his work schedule. So really... he wants them 50% of the time ???? And he's gonna fight me in court for it? |
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The Vaccinator
Posts: 3810
Location: Slipping down the slope of old age. Boo hoo. | document this conversation he had with your husband -- hope you are keeping a journal.... |
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Location: Texas | want2chase3 - 2015-05-04 4:50 AM He decided today and told my husband that we should be expecting papers very soon because he's taking me to court to try to get 50% custody of the kids. Worse is that he's been telling the kids this as well. My husband asked him yesterday if he would like to have the kids for a few weeks because they get out of school in two weeks for the summer break and he told him there's no way he could take them that long because of his work schedule. So really... he wants them 50% of the time ???? And he's gonna fight me in court for it?
Just keep everything documented!
Dates that he did not come watch his kids participate in events, check on them because of illnesses, or have them when given the opportunity because of a "work schedule". In the state of Texas, text messaging proof does work, whether it is screenshots or printouts from your cellular provider (AT&T keeps records for 3 years). Documentation of him approving your 100+ mile move will speak volumes in court, so will his "work schedule" since he is not remarried or have a stable SO.
In the state of Texas, it is nearly impossible for a mother to lose custody and rare for the father to have 50% - unless agreed upon by the mother.
Also, don't keep the kids from him - that's just as wrong as if he didn't pay child support, if anything I would offer to let him see them more often and see how that goes. I would be willing to bet his "work schedule" excuse would be heard more, therefore giving you more documentation of why he shouldn't have 50% custody. JMO
You are not a bad mother and don't let his threats scare or bother you.
Edited by EqualRanch 2015-05-04 6:28 AM
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