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 A Gopher's Worst Nightmare
Posts: 5094
 
Location: Southern Oregon | My daughter is an EXTREME horse kid. She wants to ride 24/7, if she isn't riding she is watching horse videos on you tube or playing with her huge breyer horse collection. She is only 8 years old and has a pretty bad fracture at the top of her humerus . She is a quite a bit of pain, even with meds. Her orthopedist just broke her heart and told her it is looking more like 10-12 weeks plus before he wants her on a horse. :( It's hard to watch your little girl cry. This weekend we had a barrel race she had to miss, although I made her go help since I help out. She politely asked me to leave my horse at home and I did. If feel just awful for my daughter and I dont want to sound like a heartless Momma, but how do I go about making her okay with me still riding? Also what can I do to keep her mind off of not riding.  |
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 Tough Patooty
Posts: 2615
  
Location: Sperry, OK | I don't have children, so I can't tell you how to make her okay with you continuing to ride. But I can say, that you doing so could be a good chance to give her a lesson in dealing with adversity in life. She might not like it, but having to deal with it, will help her to cope with what life will throw at her later. JMO. |
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 Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | On the not riding, I would tell her to suck it up, buttercup. The world doesn't revolve around you or stop spinning because you have to sit out life for a bit. That's part of becoming a good horseman.
I don't have any good suggestions on keeping her occupied. My nephew had the same injury this summer and he about drove my sister crazy. She didn't make his sister stop swimming or bike riding just because he couldn't tho. He got to watch... |
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 Roan On The Range
Posts: 7889
Location: Stephenville, TX | Tell her to listen to her doctor or she could end up with permanent damage like me. If I had followed doctor's orders, my arm might have healed better than it did and I might be able to do more things and be in less pain. But I was young, dumb, horse crazy and smarter than everybody LOL!
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A Gopher's Worst Nightmare
Posts: 5094
Location: Southern Oregon | Running Roan - 2015-07-29 3:01 PM
Tell her to listen to her doctor or she could end up with permanent damage like me. If I had followed doctor's orders, my arm might have healed better than it did and I might be able to do more things and be in less pain. But I was young, dumb, horse crazy and smarter than everybody LOL!
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That's what I keep telling her. It is just as hard for me to hear the news that she has to sit it out. Breaks my heart, she can't even do ground work with her horse/pony because he is worried a bump will break it. ugh..... This is going to be a tough tough lessons for her. I am hoping she will come around it's only been a week. :( |
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Tough Patooty
Posts: 2615
Location: Sperry, OK | cowgirl_3207 - 2015-07-29 5:09 PM Running Roan - 2015-07-29 3:01 PM Tell her to listen to her doctor or she could end up with permanent damage like me. If I had followed doctor's orders, my arm might have healed better than it did and I might be able to do more things and be in less pain. But I was young, dumb, horse crazy and smarter than everybody LOL!
That's what I keep telling her. It is just as hard for me to hear the news that she has to sit it out. Breaks my heart, she can't even do ground work with her horse/pony because he is worried a bump will break it. ugh..... This is going to be a tough tough lessons for her. I am hoping she will come around it's only been a week. : (
The only way she will come around, is if that is the only option she has.. by that, next time take your horse to the race anyway. Just explain to her that she can either have a bad attitude about it or a good one, either way she still has to be sidelined and everyone else will continue with what they do. Ask her, if you broke your arm.. would she leave her horse at home for you? |
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 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| Three 4 Luck - 2015-07-29 4:58 PM On the not riding, I would tell her to suck it up, buttercup. The world doesn't revolve around you or stop spinning because you have to sit out life for a bit. That's part of becoming a good horseman.
I don't have any good suggestions on keeping her occupied. My nephew had the same injury this summer and he about drove my sister crazy. She didn't make his sister stop swimming or bike riding just because he couldn't tho. He got to watch...
As a mom of 4, time for a lesson that sometimes life is not fair and that just because you can't do something does not mean the other person can't. I had an adult friend who was a SAHM and if one of her kids was sick and she had to be home then she wanted her husband home too because it "wasn't fair his day didn't get changed like hers did". I thought it was selfish and immature. It stinks this happened to her,especially in the summer-no swimming etc. |
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  Witty Enough
Posts: 2954
Location: CTX | Yea, she will have to learn life isn't fair. So next time just take your horse and enjoy it.
Not sure what you can do to keep her busy, but at that age, when I wasn't riding I was watching the lessons at our barn. Might be something she can do. There is a lot to learn, just by watching, and really paying attention what the trainer is saying.
Good luck the next couple of months!
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Porta Potty Pants
Posts: 2600
| Just my suggestion … sit her down and tell her you understand she's heartbroken and sad that she can't compete. Also explain that sometimes things happen to us that we have no control over and that don't seem fair, but that's a part of life. Then, I suggest you tell her that you are a team and when one is having a set back it's up to the other to keep things moving. Remind her that horses still need to be exercised and entered on to remain "sharp". Then tell her as part of the team, your willing to enter on her horse (if possible) once in a while, so he's ready for her return and she can help you by being responsible for to video the runs, writing down times, things like that. Give her an important job that keeps her included. Have her watch training DVDs … Dena Kirkpatrick or whomever and write down ideas she things she needs to think about. So much of barrel racing and riding is mental … have her "study" riding techniques like she already does. |
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Expert
Posts: 1586
Location: west of East Texas | I agree with azsun and the others, this is a great lesson in life. Sometimes it just stinks. I'll give a couple of examples from different perspectives...
As a child, I broke bone(s) at 4, 6, 8, 10 12, 14 and on into adulthood. I don't know if I was clumsy, fragile or just a daredevil. Do I even remember sitting out all those times????? some yes, most no, and we showed horses every weekend so I know I was sitting out often. It didn't scar my childhood to miss some while everyone else rode.
As a parent, my 12yo daughter's horse is megahurt, probably out for a year if not forever. I don't have the money to buy another one. We are going to share my horse. Last weekend was my turn. She videoed and cheered. She also got to wear cute fashion clothes, sandals, and stay relatively clean. That last part was her take on the situation.
Just relax about it and let it be what it is... life. Don't sideline yourself.
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Roan On The Range
Posts: 7889
Location: Stephenville, TX | cowgirl_3207 - 2015-07-29 5:09 PM Running Roan - 2015-07-29 3:01 PM Tell her to listen to her doctor or she could end up with permanent damage like me. If I had followed doctor's orders, my arm might have healed better than it did and I might be able to do more things and be in less pain. But I was young, dumb, horse crazy and smarter than everybody LOL!
That's what I keep telling her. It is just as hard for me to hear the news that she has to sit it out. Breaks my heart, she can't even do ground work with her horse/pony because he is worried a bump will break it. ugh..... This is going to be a tough tough lessons for her. I am hoping she will come around it's only been a week. : (
She'll eventually figure out that its not the end of the world. And seeing you continue riding and entering will be a good life/sportsmanship lesson for her.
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 Expert
Posts: 4121
Location: SE Louisiana | I know this is a long shot, but you are the person responsible for creating her addiction to horses so I believe you should make the effort...
I understand they will soon make final selections for 1oo people to be sent to Mars on a colonization project. I believe the only way to keep her off a horse is to send her someplace where there ARE no horses and NO chance to find one.. BUT!!!
Children that age are pretty creative, so you'll have to make sure she does not slip one or two horses onto the flight!
Hope she gets better soon... |
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A Gopher's Worst Nightmare
Posts: 5094
Location: Southern Oregon | azsun - 2015-07-29 4:51 PM
Just my suggestion … sit her down and tell her you understand she's heartbroken and sad that she can't compete. Also explain that sometimes things happen to us that we have no control over and that don't seem fair, but that's a part of life. Then, I suggest you tell her that you are a team and when one is having a set back it's up to the other to keep things moving. Remind her that horses still need to be exercised and entered on to remain "sharp". Then tell her as part of the team, your willing to enter on her horse (if possible) once in a while, so he's ready for her return and she can help you by being responsible for to video the runs, writing down times, things like that. Give her an important job that keeps her included. Have her watch training DVDs … Dena Kirkpatrick or whomever and write down ideas she things she needs to think about. So much of barrel racing and riding is mental … have her "study" riding techniques like she already does.
Good ideas! I will try some of these. We have actually been working on getting one of the geldings ready for her to move up to. A little earlier when we were out watering and soaking are overly HOT horses down, I talked to her about how I think it would be a good idea if I start working with him that way they will BOTH be ready to go on with once she is healed up. She seemed sort of alright with that. She is worried about her pony not getting ridden, she keeps him pretty legged up or he gets lazy. |
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 Chicken Chick
Posts: 3562
Location: Texas | Â if it were my son I would tell him that I know it stinks but there are going to be plenty of times in life that we just don't get our way. Maybe we dont have the money, we are hurt, or even our horse is hurt. He wouldn't be riding because we don't want him to get hurt worse and it be even longer before he gets to ride. I would still continue to ride, I just won't make a point of hey look at me! I'm riding and you arent! Lol. I'm also one of those mom's that tells her kid their dog died instead of it ran away. I know if I got hurt, there is no way my mom would sideline my sister because I wanted her to. Growing up there were times that my mom beat around the bush or just straight up did or said things to save my feelings, there were also times that she was honest with me. Even though it hurt more I respected her for just telling me the truth, or making me do the right thing. Sure I was probably upset, but I got over it. Now looking back I respect it even more because I know how hard it was for her. |
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The Advice Guru
Posts: 6419
| As others have said use this time to teach her life lessons, she needs to turn this negativity into a positive experience, she needs to grow as a person.
I would try to get her involved in the community, such as a seniors centre, long term care, the medical ward at the hospital, have her volunteer and read to the elderly. This will help her pass time, give her purpose, and enhance her reading and social skills |
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 Sock eating dog owner
Posts: 4557
Location: Where the pavement ends and the West begins Utah | She can clean all that tack for her horse. You need to saddle up her horse and keep him tuned so he is ready when she is. she can still brush the horse one handed. bring out the barrel racing videos |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 372
| Three 4 Luck - 2015-07-29 4:58 PM
 On the not riding, I would tell her to suck it up, buttercup. The world doesn't revolve around you or stop spinning because you have to sit out life for a bit.  That's part of becoming a good horseman. Â
I don't have any good suggestions on keeping her occupied. My nephew had the same injury this summer and he about drove my sister crazy. She didn't make his sister stop swimming or bike riding just because he couldn't tho. Â He got to watch...
winner
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Industrial Srength Barrel Racer
Posts: 7268
| I shattered my arm in the same place - a plate and 13 screws. My surgeon wouldn't let me ON a horse for a YEAR (of course I am OLD and probably heal a lot slower). There's NO way I would have ridden until I got the "all clear" I did NOT want to spend another 3 days in the hospital. I feel sorry for her but she will heal quick and forget all about this time - try to do other fun things with her!  |
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Expert
Posts: 1543
Location: MI | rodeomom3 - 2015-07-29 6:46 PM
 As a mom of 4, time for a lesson that sometimes life is not fair and that just because you can't do something does not mean the other person can't.  I had an adult friend who was a SAHM and if one of her kids was sick and she had to be home then she wanted her husband home too because it "wasn't fair his day didn't get changed like hers did".  I thought it was selfish and immature.  It stinks this happened to her,especially in the summer-no swimming etc. Â
I totally agree with this. The reality is that it's a hard situation. There are times in life we can't control what happens, this is one of them so try to make the best of it. If you have the attitude that life will go on, even when it's difficult, your daughter will come around. It won't be easy, it will be hard, but it will build character and y'all will make it through.
Make jokes, have fun with it the best you can and let her be your 'manager' for a few months and maybe she can make some training plans for the horses. I've told my kids it's ok to be sad, very understandable, but we're going to make it through together. She'll remember your response to it and how you tried to make the best of a bad situation.
Sorry this happened... |
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 pressure dripper
Posts: 8699
Location: the end of the rainbow | Get her a small (lightweight and hopefully not very expensive) digital camera/video camera so she has something to do while watching you ride or when you go to a race. |
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