|
|
 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 425
 
Location: California | So yesterday, I got off work at 4:00, I had been house sitting at my moms house, but it was the last day so I was cleaning up my stuff. I picked up dinner for myself & my fiance on the other side of town (30-40 min drive home).
Anyway, as I am driving home, a friend of mine sent me a screen shot from Instagram of a random girl riding MY HORSE. It was in her paddock with a random rope around her face, not even her halter!
Then ANOTHER girl posted a picture while riding my horse. I DO NOT KNOW EITHER OF THESE GIRLS!
Turns out my fiance decided it was okay to pony them around on my horse (which mind you, I have asked him NOT to do MULTIPLE times)
My horse is NOT toy, my animals are NOT a zoo, and I just really don't appreciate the fact he DID NOT ASK ME, DID NOT TELL ME when I got home, until I brought it up.
I am feeling very disrespected. My fiance knows about horses, my horse is NOT beginner broke. I have been able to give lessons on her in the past, but with MY SUPERVISION. I know my horse, he doesn't. He says that I am being psycho & overly dramatic, but I feel as though I have been violated. |
|
| |
|
 Chicken Chick
Posts: 3562
  
Location: Texas | How old are these girls? |
|
| |
|
Elite Veteran
Posts: 762
Location: NC | I would have flipped. My animals are mine. I dont share. I dont mean an occasional pony ride but i do not let anyone ride them without me there. None of them are beginner broke either, but i can occasional do pony rides as long as im standing there. JMO |
|
| |
|
 Serious Snap Trapper
Posts: 4275
Location: In The Snow, AZ | I'd be ****ed. My dad did the same thing to me. He was feeding the horses while hubby and I were out of town. I didn't get a picture. But he said his wife's kids(my folks are divorced) really enjoyed riding my horse. I told him that was wrong of him and not his place to make that decision without consulting me. And it had better not happen again. He doesn't understand the harm in it. And maybe there is no harm done, but it is disrespectful. |
|
| |
|
| You have every right to be totally, over-the-top, ballistic; especially because you had already told your fiancé to not pony your horse. Your fiancé completely crossed the line. What if those girls had gotten hurt? You and he both would have been up a creek. I would have a serious discussion with someone that close to me that would cross this line so badly.
And, yes, I too wonder how old those girls are?
Good luck. |
|
| |
|
 Stinky Cat Owner
Posts: 4097
Location: Oregon | I would have come completely uncorked. |
|
| |
|
Extreme Veteran
Posts: 425
Location: California | They are in highschool so anywhere from 14-18 respectively. The girl who told me is 15.
I was so mad/upset that I broke down crying when I was going off on him. & yes exactly MY HORSE |
|
| |
|
Common Sense and then some
Location: So. California | What does that tell you about how much your fiancé respects you?
Since he has already disregarded your wishes, I'd be looking for a new fiancé... |
|
| |
|
 Expert
Posts: 2604
Location: Texas | I would seriously be reconsidering marrying this guy! |
|
| |
|
 Googly Goo
Posts: 7053
| ~BINGO~ - 2015-10-29 12:44 PM I'd be ****ed. My dad did the same thing to me. He was feeding the horses while hubby and I were out of town. I didn't get a picture. But he said his wife's kids(my folks are divorced) really enjoyed riding my horse. I told him that was wrong of him and not his place to make that decision without consulting me. And it had better not happen again. He doesn't understand the harm in it. And maybe there is no harm done, but it is disrespectful.
I would have never told my Dad that he couldn't use something of mine without consulting with me. Especially if it was while he was at my house doing me a favor.
Guess I just grew up in another time. |
|
| |
|
 Expert
Posts: 3815
Location: The best kept secret in TX | My SO has told people who have asked before that I'm in charge of the horses. INcluding feeding, brushing, tacking, trailering, everything. I am usually a very easy going person but I flipped on him one day when He thought he would help me by feeding and brushing out the horses. Given, he was trying to help... But he did it all wrong. He knows now that I need no help and want no help. It's not the way to earn brownie points with me per say.
I agree with the above posters, what would've happened if they got hurt?? And more importantly why was he alone with two girls you don't know giving them "pony rides".... Uhm... Serious conversations need to happen here. I would've already flipped on my SO. |
|
| |
|
 Warrior Mom
Posts: 4400
| I'd be livid.... I'm even weird about MY own kids or my in laws trying to jump on any of my horses... whether I'm here or not. My kids know better than to just go get on my good roping horse and when my in laws kids ask I always say no.. they quit asking anyway.. I'm not running a pony ride operation. My hubby knows better too lol! Very very seldom I'll let one of my sons to cool out my horse after we rope... maybe I'm dramatic?! So I'm not a good one to ask I guess. My daughter has 2 of her own to ride so she rarely asks me anyway ... |
|
| |
|
 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9991
Location: Kansas | Hold on.........I think some people need to stop and reconsider telling the OP to look for a different fiancee.
While it was wrong of him to allow it....doesn't mean she needs to leave him for it!!! I would just sit down and have a talk with him and let him know in a respectable manner how you feel about it.
|
|
| |
|
Extreme Veteran
Posts: 425
Location: California | Anniemae - 2015-10-29 10:48 AM What does that tell you about how much your fiancé respects you? Since he has already disregarded your wishes, I'd be looking for a new fiancé...
Exactly what I went off telling him, like clearly he didn't listen to me. He apoligized and said he didn't even think (which made me worry more).
I have never reconsidered it more than I had yesterday. & I think it's just making me more mad today. I have barely talked to him since yesterday after I lost it.
|
|
| |
|
 Good Grief!
Posts: 6343
Location: Cap'n Joan Rotgut.....alberta | Nobody touchs my horses.....period......M |
|
| |
|
 Expert
Posts: 4121
Location: SE Louisiana | It sounds to me like your fiance is sucking up to two teenage girls. |
|
| |
|
Extreme Veteran
Posts: 425
Location: California | & yes exactly to the above posts about what if they got hurt. That's exactly my point. He knows horses VERY well. He does not have one of his own at the moment. The weather over here has been "stormy". Yesterday was cold and windy, and it was supposed to rain. Which in any right-horse-minded person knows that this can make horses act on edge! Let alone with people jumping around them who the horses doesn't even know!
He NEVER himself asks to ride my horse, which is another reason I don't understand why he thinks it's okay to let other people. |
|
| |
|
 Buttered Noodles Snacker
Posts: 4377
Location: NC | I wouldn't have been that upset. but to each their own. |
|
| |
|
 Hawty & Nawty
Posts: 20424
| I probably would feel creepy about why my man would try and entertain 18 year old girls. Forget the horse, what would happen if something he inadvertantly said or did gave one of them the wrong idea? Who's he trying to impress? I wouldn't end the relationship but holy hell the hammer would fall. |
|
| |
|
Elite Veteran
Posts: 672
| ccarpe18 - 2015-10-29 12:53 PM
Anniemae - 2015-10-29 10:48 AM What does that tell you about how much your fiancé respects you? Since he has already disregarded your wishes, I'd be looking for a new fiancé...
Exactly what I went off telling him, like clearly he didn't listen to me. He apoligized and said he didn't even think (which made me worry more).
I have never reconsidered it more than I had yesterday. & I think it's just making me more mad today. I have barely talked to him since yesterday after I lost it.
I think talking about ending it over this is a little extreme, unless there are other issues that haven't been brought up. I totally don't think you are being dramatic - I would have gone off on my husband the same way had it happen to me BUT you need to take a look from his side too.
He probably DIDN'T know you would react the way you did and if he DID know he probably wouldn't have let them ride your horse!
Now that he knows how you feel about it he will probably not let anyone touch your horse from now on!
He probably feels bad, but at least he knows where the line is 
Now if he does it again......that's another story! |
|
| |
Folks on-line