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Veteran
Posts: 106
| I figure most people on here are mothers...and I need some thoughts and suggestions.
I have a 2 1/2 yr old little boy who is a very good sleeper...or he WAS...I think we are going through what the experts call a sleep regression...He went from sleeping in his crib wonderfully to near hysteria when we put him down to sleep almost overnight. He wont even lay down he just stands up in his crib and bounces, yelling out mommy or daddy. I waited an hour last night before going back in there bc I couldn't stand it anymore. He latches on with a death grip when you get him. The last few nights we've ended up in the spare bedroom or the recliner... Once he has either me or the hubby he goes right to sleep with no problems.
We know we don't want him in the bed with us and I cant sleep when he is...I get scared that the we will squish him or a pillow will fall on him and smother him and a million other things run through my head....My hubby starts his day at 5:00 am...and I am up at 6:00 am..
I am exhausted, HE is exhausted, and Daddy is exhausted...
I know there are many parents whose children do sleep when them in their beds but I thought that was more when they are infants.
We're talking of moving him to a regular bed this weekend to see if that will help some.
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 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
   
Location: Kansas | Sounds like he has separation anxiety.
Do you have a night light in his bedroom? What about a cool sounds machine, or even music?
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I just read the headlines
Posts: 4483
| has he been having nightmares? Could a branch be hitting his window or making weird shadows? Can he tell you what is wrong? I know 2 1/2 is maybe too young to tell you these things. My kids are in their late and middle 20's so I am having a hard time trying to remember when my son started having night terrors. Grabbing onto you tightly tells me he could be scared of something. We used to leave my son's door open and a light on in the hall. |
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | I was wondering too if maybe the room is just to dark, I would leave the door open and have a night light for him. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 502
Location: United States | He may be having nightmares, shadows may be bothering him. Mine is 2 1/2 also. I find he is more difficult to put to bed when I spend LOTS of one on one time with him, like he will miss me. I tried a few things and this is what worked best. I explained to him that mom has to take the dog outside, or mom has to get ready for bed now, or mom use the restroom. When I gave him a reason I was leaving, I assure him I will be back to check on him and this works 9 out of 10 times. I also explain to him the plans for the next day and that we need to go to sleep so we are rested. They understand better than we think but just cant communicate as well as they want. |
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  Neat Freak
Posts: 11216
Location: Wonderful Wyoming | Wishful - 2015-11-05 8:23 AM I figure most people on here are mothers...and I need some thoughts and suggestions. I have a 2 1/2 yr old little boy who is a very good sleeper...or he WAS...I think we are going through what the experts call a sleep regression...He went from sleeping in his crib wonderfully to near hysteria when we put him down to sleep almost overnight. He wont even lay down he just stands up in his crib and bounces, yelling out mommy or daddy. I waited an hour last night before going back in there bc I couldn't stand it anymore. He latches on with a death grip when you get him. The last few nights we've ended up in the spare bedroom or the recliner... Once he has either me or the hubby he goes right to sleep with no problems. We know we don't want him in the bed with us and I cant sleep when he is...I get scared that the we will squish him or a pillow will fall on him and smother him and a million other things run through my head....My hubby starts his day at 5:00 am...and I am up at 6:00 am.. I am exhausted, HE is exhausted, and Daddy is exhausted... I know there are many parents whose children do sleep when them in their beds but I thought that was more when they are infants. We're talking of moving him to a regular bed this weekend to see if that will help some.
I never slept with my kids either. Sometimes in the morning since I was a stay at home mom with the 2nd, I would get him and nurse him in my bed and he may stay for a couple hrs but that was it and only when it was just him and I in the bed and during the summer with no blankets needed. I felt ok with that because I am as light a sleeper as there is.
I did the full size bed at about 2 or 2 1/2 with both my kids and had no issues keeping them in it for the most part. The 2nd (3yrs) has phases where he will wake up 2-3 time a night and kind of be out of it. Scared and not making much sense. I go in and settle him down and usually have to lay down next to him until he drifts off to sleep. They have full size bunks (other kiddo is 7) and they do have a night light so they can find the potty in the night. When the little guy wakes up, it is almost like clock work. Nearly the same time every night. He'll do it for maybe 3-5 nights in a row and then sleep good after that for awhile. If you get a big boy bed, maybe get something big enough you can lay next to him in. I had a rough childhood and had nightmares all the time, but my grandma would lay next to me until I fell asleep and I remember how safe I felt. I don't believe in just letting kids scream it out, no matter the age. And believe me, I need my sleep as much as anyone. I'm a 8-10 hr kind of person...not that it ever happens lol. |
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Veteran
Posts: 106
| He has a night light, a favorite blanket and his froggy which is a stuffed frog...
He is so very independent and usually doesn't care about much..just does his own thing but I have noticed that when we do sleep he wants to be right under me or his dad and if he has us both he is even happier... |
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 Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | Regular bed so he can get to you if he needs you. And lay down with him until he's asleep. I don't care what the "experts" say about independence, I believe in giving them what they need, which IMO fosters confidence and independence more than forcing them away from you.
My daughter didn't start sleeping all night in her own bed until she was 2, but my son did from babyhood. She wanted us to lay down with her at night until she was 6, he has only occasionally wanted that, although he does ask to go to sleep in our bed sometimes and then we move him when we go to bed. Every kid is different and they're not little very long. I don't believe in spoiling them with things or being lax on discipline, but I will give all the love and cuddles they'll take. |
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Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | Wishful - 2015-11-05 9:38 AM He has a night light, a favorite blanket and his froggy which is a stuffed frog... He is so very independent and usually doesn't care about much..just does his own thing but I have noticed that when we do sleep he wants to be right under me or his dad and if he has us both he is even happier...
You'll find kids go through periods of being more clingy and then more independent, depending on what's going on with them developmentally and stress wise. |
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 Experienced Mouse Trapper
Posts: 3106
Location: North Dakota | Get him a real bed and lay with him until he falls asleep, my son is 10 and still likes it if I lay down with him for a minute or 2 -which is sad-it means he's growing up and hardly ever asks anymore :'( .
My daughter went through a stage of night terrors OMG....we finally made her a little "bed" on the floor next to our bed so she could come into our room anytime she wanted/needed to feel safe-that was a terrible time in her and our life. I've never been very good at letting them scream it out-their will is always stronger than mine. Plus they're little and looking for comfort of some sort.
Also keep in mind maybe you need to cut down or out an afternoon nap so he's more ready to go to bed at night???
Edited by LMS 2015-11-05 10:37 AM
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Neat Freak
Posts: 11216
Location: Wonderful Wyoming | Three 4 Luck - 2015-11-05 8:50 AM Regular bed so he can get to you if he needs you. And lay down with him until he's asleep. I don't care what the "experts" say about independence, I believe in giving them what they need, which IMO fosters confidence and independence more than forcing them away from you.
My daughter didn't start sleeping all night in her own bed until she was 2, but my son did from babyhood. She wanted us to lay down with her at night until she was 6, he has only occasionally wanted that, although he does ask to go to sleep in our bed sometimes and then we move him when we go to bed. Every kid is different and they're not little very long. I don't believe in spoiling them with things or being lax on discipline, but I will give all the love and cuddles they'll take.
This is so true. With my first I was always excited to see what he would be able to do next, expected him to grow up etc. But he was always independant and never wanted cuddles, held, etc. So I never knew what I would be missing until my 2nd came along and we thought he would never walk because he always wanted held. He gets up every morning and ask if he can climb in bed with me to snuggle. Every morning. Doesn't matter where we are either and the funny part is, I've never said no. But he still asks. I cherish those moments. Some day he will be too busy with his friends to sit by me, or let me kiss his cheeks. So they get all the love they will let me give while they are little. |
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 Coyote Country Queen
Posts: 5666
| Parenting is the best, yet most difficult job we will ever have! And there isn't any "right" way to do it. Kids are individuals and need different things. And what they need can change in a daily basis!
I think trying a toddler bed is a good idea. But be prepared, he's going to get out and you're going to have to put him back in. Like others have suggested, try laying with him to comfort him. It won't last forever. Both of my boys went through a phase where they wanted someone to lay with them. They eventually grow out of it. Our 5 year old still occasionally wakes up scared in the middle of the night and one of us will lay with him until he relaxes and falls back to sleep. Our boys seem to be more confident when they can see, so they have a nightlight in their room and we leave the bathroom light on in case they need to get up during the night.
Hang in there, it will get better! |
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 Strong Willed Woman
Posts: 6577
Location: Prosser, WA | My oldest all the sudden did not want to be in her crib. She would cry until she threw up. I think she was around a year old and wanted nothing to do with her crib anymore. I just put a mattress on the floor of her room and would lay with her until she went to sleep. Then she was fine. I can't sleep with kids in bed with me either, except my almost 3 year old who goes to sleep fine in his own bed and then around 2 or 3 he sneaks in bed with us. The girls never "snuck" into bed with us. |
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 Expert
Posts: 2489
Location: somewhere up north | What is your bedtime routine? My daughter is almost 4 and son almost 2. We get home from work, play, eat, every other night they get a bath and then put pjs on and go to bed. Both my kids like to be read books. My son just recently has really got into them. We read books, sing a song and then lay down to bed. My daughter likes her back rubbed while I sing, my son I will kind of rock him (hold like a baby) while I do sing. I think it helps them relax. We didn't move my daughter out of the crib until she was 3 and my son is still in one. My daughter had no trouble transitioning from a crib in a room next to us, to a bed in the basement. I liked that they couldn't get up and wander the house at night (neither one has ever tried to crawl out). I know all kids are different. When we took the pacifier away from my son he would cry for awhile at first, but I would just sing a little longer and it was only a few days and he doesn't miss it. I find that if we don't do the full routine or try to rush to put them to bed they cry more.
Good luck! |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 494
Location: La Frontera | My 2 1/2 year old recently went through night terrors as well. We did everything everyone here as suggested and we also moved the furniture in his room around. He said he was scared at night. So we moved everything around, chased out the scary monsters (literally and quite a few times) and put in a brighter night light. He's in a toddler bed now and I would recommend doing that before moving your kid to a big bed. Easier transition. |
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Veteran
Posts: 106
| as far as his routine...
We eat supper, have some play time, take a bath, play "naked baby" ( haha...this is where he gets out of the bath, runs through the house naked while daddy and I yell naked baby, finds me, "hides" til daddy comes and tickles him, then runs to his room)
then we read some books, gather up his blanket and froggy and head to his room. we rock a bit in his chair, he drifts off, and I go to put him in his crib, he wakes up and all hell breaks loose :/
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Coyote Country Queen
Posts: 5666
| You might try putting him in his bed before he falls asleep. If he is getting startled and woken up when you lay him down, that could be causing the problem. |
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 Warmblood with Wings
Posts: 27846
Location: Florida.. | His age is about when they start having nightmares or dreams and then to wake up to see hes in a cage might scare him now.. hes more aware of things.. we switched to a toddler bed at yr and half.. or 2.. and made it a big fuss to be a big boy and leave nightlight on doors open and read to him in his bed.. tell him night night and it may take awhile .. Him falling asleep in your arms and then him waking up with you not there at that age can be scarey.. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 678
Location: Canada | Is this something new and sudden? My son went through an episode like this but he'd sleep on me or upright but would cry at night laying down. Turned out he had an nasty ear infection. He had no other symptoms and was fine during the day and the only change was his sleep.
I felt pretty awful I had not known but there was nothing to indicate any other issue so I thought it was just a phase. His doctor said its not uncommon for kids to have ear infections especially with teething but not show any other signs.
Hope you all get some sleep soon. |
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I Need a Xanax!
Posts: 2774
| Ditto to everything everyone else already said....the only thing I would like to add is that maybe he is being overstimulated? Too much t.v? Too much carby-type foods(macaroni, pizza, etc.) or sugary foods? My son always had more trouble sleeping when he had watched too much t.v. and became overstimulated. Also, if he's not with me I can tell the type of food he has eaten by the way he acts. Hope you can get it worked out soon. |
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