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Veteran
Posts: 216
Location: In between 4 ridges | I give riding lessons to an 11 year old little girl. She is an excellent rider for the period of time that she has been riding. She started lessons in Jan 2014. She started showing my horses at fun shows through out 2014. In May of 2015 her grandparents bought her her first horse.(It was a surprise) I hand picked this mare from a very reputable breeder in our area. The mare was excellent when we went and looked at her. Even though I am more partial to geldings, I chose this mare for the little girl.
My problem is that to this day, this mare has not bonded with this little girl or anyone for that matter. She is boarded at my farm, I am the one that is there daily taking care of the mare not her. She shows no interest in anyone. She is very mare ish.
After taking her to her first horse show in June, we found out that she kicks at horses. No one knew about this habit. She has started raring up and spinning away if she doesn't want to do what is being asked of her. She has horrible ground manners when being tied and brushed and saddled... This mare is 12 years old and was supposed to be a been there done that mare... The little girl is starting to get very frustrated with this mare. I have been very frustrated with her for a while... I can get on the mare and she is just fine. But she bullies the little girl and gets away with it. We are dedicating this winter to the round pen with the little girl and mare. She has been spending a lot of time working with her in the round pen and trying to bond with her and gain her respect. I am just not seeing much of a difference yet. The mares attitude changes every 15 minutes it seems.
Any suggestions on exercises that the 2 of them can work on to help?
The two of them show in halter, walk/trot, egg & spoon, flag, poles and barrels. Mind you she is only trotting and slow loping in some of the speed classes. The mare knows the patterns. At the last show they were trotting to the first barrel and the mare decided to rare up and run back to the gate at the back side of the barrel for no reason. Didn't spook at anything just decided she didn't want to do it. At that point I had to lead her through the entire pattern. I do not believe this mare is in any pain. She will get a complete check up to be sure though. I believe it is just an attitude problem...
TIA for any and all help/ideas!
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 Toastest with the Mostest
Posts: 5712
 
Location: That part of Texas | Clinton Anderson has a good ground working book with exercises (and real life fixes for when it doesn't go as text-book to get you back on track) that she could do with help.
I hate that she is struggling with this issue but I think she's been given an opportunity to learn how to school and retrain a horse like this with your help. It sounds like the mare doesn't respect her and it happens with kids this age if they don't know how to handle them. We all know if you ride horses for the rest of your life, you're going to own or come in contact with one of these. It's good she has you to show her the ropes instead of throwing up her hands and walking away. Good luck and best wishes to you both!
ETA: link to the book I was talking about -- I love how it has excerpts from the students talking about how they screwed up implementing the lessons and how to correct. It makes for a more realistic tutorial from a book than others I've bought and read: http://www.amazon.com/Clinton-Andersons-Downunder-Horsemanship-Establishing-ebook/dp/B009UOMQ2M/ref=la_B001K8ITE0_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1447692646&sr=1-1
Also don't forget that you can find a bunch of Clinton's stuff for free on Youtube that covers basic groundwork exercises. Most clips are short enough to watch them and them go outside to put them to work.
Edited by Red Raider 2015-11-16 10:51 AM
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 425
Location: California | It sounds like this mare is "out smarting" the little girl. She is throwing tantrums & it getting away with it; at least for the most part. Bullying the little girl for sure. Don't exactly have any exercise advice, but what about mare calming supplements? Since you said she is acting very mare-ish, maybe something along that lines can help get her attitude in check? |
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 Expert
Posts: 3782
 
Location: Gainesville, TX | My gut would tend to agree that this is a respect issue with the mare towards the girl that obviously you as an older more experienced rider are not having. That being said, I think you are right that some ground work stuff may be an excellent way to get them working together and help the little girl get some more confidence with the mare. I think putting her back on a step down horse to ride during this time to get her confidence back up would also help. That being said, I really don't mind if a horse is not friendly per se so long as they are working well, which this mare is not. While I think a good bit of it can be explained by lack of respect in the mare, I also think that the mare may indeed being 'marish.' Regumate or some other medication, maybe treatment for ulcers, might help the marishness. |
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 Experienced Mouse Trapper
Posts: 3106
Location: North Dakota | I would agree with the regumate suggestion. I would defintiely have a good going over by the vet and talk about regumate. I know there are some hard headed horses in this world-but even the toughest, nose turned up horses I've been around turn to nosey babies when the kids show up with the treats-I'd say there is something not right with this mare. The training issues may be a direct result of this mare attitude but I'm betting it is more that the mare needs an adult tune up-you ride her for a month or so and then let the little gal back on her. The round penning suggestions are good ones-good luck. Being frustrated is one of the hardest things to over come. |
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The Advice Guru
Posts: 6419
| There are some herbs you can give for mares, most of my horses are mares and I haven't ever given anything for a marish attitude.
Chaste berry is what I think you can give to mares to settle their attitude down.
As others have said, the girl needs to gain this mares respect, I know my cousins had a few horses while they were young I had to tune in every once in awhile, as they got older, I taught them to tune them while on their back.
Good luck |
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Member
Posts: 15
| Get rid of her before the girl decides she's had enough of stupid horses. |
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 A Barrel Of Monkeys
Posts: 12972
Location: Texas | FOAMed - 2015-11-16 11:34 AM Get rid of her before the girl decides she's had enough of stupid horses.
I was going to suggest drugging her as a last ditch effort but knew I'd get flamed. A little Ace, chlorpromazine, etc. can do wonders. Or fluphenazine, which lasts a month. |
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 Money Eating Baggage Owner
Posts: 9586
Location: Phoenix | I'd be inclined to sell her and trade for a gelding--I've never meshed well with mares.
Id have her watch those YouTube videos of Clinton working with problem horses. When she steps in there to roundpen her for the first time I would want her to be very assertive and confident. Sure, they need to bond, but that can be done after she's begging for air.
I always take the tough love route but that's because these are 1000 lb animals and there are ALOT of well mannered 1000 lb animals out there so there's no reason this made can't follow suit. |
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 Expert
Posts: 3815
Location: The best kept secret in TX | I've had my mare for almost 10 years now. She still hasn't "bonded" with me like me and my Gelding have bonded. But She and I get along just fine. She respects my space. She used to push me around with her nose and run off for no good reason when I first got her as well.
I have no excersises to suggest. But riding my mare every day helped her a ton! Just making her follow her nose in the pasture for a few hours helped a lot. Pushing cattle, getting soppy saddle blankets and a few chiro adjustments here and there have helped a lot to... I make sure I don't put her up without sweat dripping off her. If I do, the next day I ride will be twice as bad because she will want to quit early.
Hugs to you. Tell that little girl to keep her head up, She's been "blessed" with a tricky one!  |
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 Tried and True
Posts: 21185
Location: Where I am happiest | Sorry if this has already been said as I didnt read any responces. Honestly, forget any training or working this kid with this horse. Sell the horse! She is what she is and the child is to young and to green to put this kind of a burden on. You'll end up just making her not want horses. Sell the horse and find her a good solid been there done that 4H kind of horse that this child can get on and just have fun tomarrow on and go to a show tomarrow with. |
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 Take a Picture
Posts: 12838
| FOAMed - 2015-11-16 11:34 AM
Get rid of her before the girl decides she's had enough of stupid horses.
I totally agree. To me riding is supposed to be fun. You stick a kid who wants to learn with a horse that works against them and they lose interest pretty fast. Get rid of the horse and get one that is experienced and cooperative |
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | I agree with the others, sell this mare and get something that will take care of the little girl, if this horse is rearing with the little girl and pulling little stunts to get out of work then this horse is not for her, I would hate that this child got hurt because this mare dont want to work, theres just to many other horses out there that is a pleasure to ride and this one is not. |
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Good Ole Boys just Fine with Me
Posts: 2869
Location: SE Missouri | Circle W - 2015-11-16 10:38 AM I give riding lessons to an 11 year old little girl. She is an excellent rider for the period of time that she has been riding. She started lessons in Jan 2014. She started showing my horses at fun shows through out 2014. In May of 2015 her grandparents bought her her first horse.(It was a surprise) I hand picked this mare from a very reputable breeder in our area. The mare was excellent when we went and looked at her. Even though I am more partial to geldings, I chose this mare for the little girl. My problem is that to this day, this mare has not bonded with this little girl or anyone for that matter. She is boarded at my farm, I am the one that is there daily taking care of the mare not her. She shows no interest in anyone. She is very mare ish. After taking her to her first horse show in June, we found out that she kicks at horses. No one knew about this habit. She has started raring up and spinning away if she doesn't want to do what is being asked of her. She has horrible ground manners when being tied and brushed and saddled... This mare is 12 years old and was supposed to be a been there done that mare... The little girl is starting to get very frustrated with this mare. I have been very frustrated with her for a while... I can get on the mare and she is just fine. But she bullies the little girl and gets away with it. We are dedicating this winter to the round pen with the little girl and mare. She has been spending a lot of time working with her in the round pen and trying to bond with her and gain her respect. I am just not seeing much of a difference yet. The mares attitude changes every 15 minutes it seems. Any suggestions on exercises that the 2 of them can work on to help? The two of them show in halter, walk/trot, egg & spoon, flag, poles and barrels. Mind you she is only trotting and slow loping in some of the speed classes. The mare knows the patterns. At the last show they were trotting to the first barrel and the mare decided to rare up and run back to the gate at the back side of the barrel for no reason. Didn't spook at anything just decided she didn't want to do it. At that point I had to lead her through the entire pattern. I do not believe this mare is in any pain. She will get a complete check up to be sure though. I believe it is just an attitude problem... TIA for any and all help/ideas!
I think I need more information on the individual horse.. I see she is 12, how much training did it have to begin with? What is different about this horses previous environment vrs now? Was she being rode everyday or x/per week? What was her job? If she was that excellent something is going on in this short of a time frame... If the girl is timid then I don't know that this can be worked out easily..
I have always had mares, since I was little. Our two best mares we have ever owned.. one about every six months you would walk into her stall and she'd put her head in the corner and not come to you.. She'd get a tune up and for another six months - angel. We worked 6 events on her growing up, big heart but was definitely going to test her limits randomly. The other - she could care less if you ever touch her. She doesn't dislike anyone but she only cares that you bring her food at the appropriate times and she will bust her butt for you all day long. Smart, big heart, just doesn't really like (or dislike) anyone. She's there to do a job not be a pet.
I love a good mare but they sometimes just get someone's number. We have one right now that the lady that had her spoiled her rotten, the mare was crow hopping, buddy sour, the whole bit.. Does NOTHING wrong with my dad but he had another lady ride her (that is pretty handy) and one of the first things the mare did was test her. She got crabby at feeding time with her and has tried to get out of doing things when asked. These will be worked out but it's gonna take a Come to Jesus meeting to make her realize she's not the boss. No supplement is going to change that attitude if that's what it is. |
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 Expert
Posts: 1857
| sell the mare and get the girl a beginner friendly horse. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 915
Location: SE KS | ThreeCorners - 2015-11-16 12:52 PM
Sorry if this has already been said as I didnt read any responces. Honestly, forget any training or working this kid with this horse. Sell the horse! She is what she is and the child is to young and to green to put this kind of a burden on. You'll end up just making her not want horses. Sell the horse and find her a good solid been there done that 4H kind of horse that this child can get on and just have fun tomarrow on and go to a show tomarrow with.
Agree 100% with this!!!!! |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 477
Location: IA | I understand being in the position you are in--that you picked out the horse and now feel pressure to help things work out.
You've built trust with this girl and her family, and they surely value your experience and opinion.
But we all know that there is a point when we have to realize that some matches just don't work out. Kudos to this girl for being willing to work at it, and the dedication you both have to commit to making it work. But if the horse is good for you, and acts up for the kiddo, maybe just take that very loud statement from the horse and sell her as a "gentle enough, but doesn't like kids" horse.
We've got one here that just flat out HATES women. I'm good enough to feed him (if it's on time) but he's a crow-hoppy, hump backed idiot if I get on him. Throw a kid up there, he's just fine. Some man that has no idea how to ride--he's a prince. Hubby can pull him out and rope all day. Myself or any other woman get on there---plan on hating that entire ride. I could work and work and work with him, it will never change anything.
There's a point where you choose the battle. And it would be a greater loss for that young lady to lose interest, get hurt, or scared than anything else, in my opinion.
Good luck, and you will make the right decision for all involved, I'm sure! |
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Hungarian Midget Woman
Location: Midwest | get the girl a horse that works.
Learning how to ride is hard enough. She needs a willing partner that allows her to develop her skills. |
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Veteran
Posts: 216
Location: In between 4 ridges | The breeder raised this mare and sold her as a 4 (I think) year old to a young(16) girl. The breeder started her training and had her show ready. The girl that bought her did everything on her. From racing to trail riding. She eventually grew out of her and sold her. The breeder found her on craigslist last October. Went and bought her back. Those owners said they had bought her for their daughter but daughter lost interest...
Breeder took her on a few trail rides and sorted cows on her in between Oct and May. The little girl does not get out to ride but once a week at this point and time. (She is only 11) And yes she is timid, shy, quiet... The mare is now on pasture and she was only on hay before. She gets 1/2 scoop of steamed oats daily.
The mare does not get hot or hard to handle. She just has a nasty attitude at times. I like the mare, she knows a lot. But the bad ground manners sets me off! |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 672
| Circle W - 2015-11-16 2:32 PM
The breeder raised this mare and sold her as a 4 (I think) year old to a young(16) girl. The breeder started her training and had her show ready. The girl that bought her did everything on her. From racing to trail riding. She eventually grew out of her and sold her. The breeder found her on craigslist last October. Went and bought her back. Those owners said they had bought her for their daughter but daughter lost interest...
Breeder took her on a few trail rides and sorted cows on her in between Oct and May. The little girl does not get out to ride but once a week at this point and time. (She is only 11) And yes she is timid, shy, quiet... The mare is now on pasture and she was only on hay before. She gets 1/2 scoop of steamed oats daily.
The mare does not get hot or hard to handle. She just has a nasty attitude at times. I like the mare, she knows a lot. But the bad ground manners sets me off!
She sounds like a horse that needs more riding than once a week. I have ended up with many horses and ponies like you described - they are sold as great, do anything with, well mannered horses and after awhile with the new order turn into naughty, bullying PITH.. one common thing I've noticed in the horses I've had like this, is that they come from a home where they were used quite often - and kept busy. A horse that has a job and kept busy is a happy horse :)
I am sure with a little tuning she could again be a nice, well mannered horse; and with someone who would use her often and keep her busy, would probably stay that way.
I think your girl would be more happy with a horse that she could get away with riding once a week and build up her courage...
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