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 Expert
Posts: 2128
  
| Non horse related. Just need an unbiased opinion. What do your kids call your mothers boyfriend... (Their grandmothers boyfriend)
Edited by scwebster 2015-12-15 1:23 PM
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 Expert
Posts: 1525
 
| I have a two year old little girl, she calls my boyfriend "my Eric" her father and i both agreed that daddy was something she would only call him. When I was growing up I called my stepdad by his first name. My ex calls his stepdad. Mr. Buddy....Buddy is his first name.
Edited by MOTIVATED 2015-12-15 1:22 PM
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 Serious Snap Trapper
Posts: 4275
Location: In The Snow, AZ | My daughter calls my moms husband by his first name, Tim. He has always been Tim to her. No reason to make it more complicated. Just as my dads new wife is Stefanie. |
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 Expert
Posts: 1857
| By his first name but, we do have a set of great grandparents that aren't married but have been together for 20+ years and the kids don't know any different, they call her grandma. |
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  Neat Freak
Posts: 11216
Location: Wonderful Wyoming | My husband's dad has a live in girlfriend. She's been around since he was 14ish. Everyone in the family just calls her by her first name including our kids. |
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 Mature beyond Years
Posts: 10780
Location: North of the 49th Parallel | I called my grandma's second husband, "grandpa" and he was way more of one than my mom's dad. She remarried after he passed away and I just call her newest husband by his first name. I think my grandmother wanted me to call him "grandpa" but no way that was going to fly with me. |
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 Expert
Posts: 2097
Location: Deep South | I called my grandma's bf, and still do, Pawpaw Larry. And they've been broken up for years. |
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 Veteran
Posts: 260
Location: Oregon | both my mom and dad's parents were divorced. Those that remarried, we just called their spouses grandpa or grandma - so I had 2 grandmas and 2 grandpas on moms side, and 2 grandmas and 1 grandpa on my dad's side. Dad's mom never remarried. For a while she had a boyfriend who we called him by his name, Lester. But that ended years ago. Everyone is grandpa or grandma in our book, and I never really realized it was different to have that many grandparents until I was probably 8-10ish, and even then, it was more to love and more to be loved by. All grandparents were friendly with one another - nobody had animosity or anything towards the grandkids calling everyone grandma and grandpa, even if it wasn't biological. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 629
| I called my grandma's 20+ year boyfriend Grandpa, and still did even after she died, they were still unmarried, but he's been around since before I was born, and was and always will be grandpa. |
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 Born not Made
Posts: 2932
Location: North Dakota | For many, many years, my uncle had a girlfiend. We just called her by her first name. No aunt or anything on it. (They are now married, but we still just call her by her name, out of habit!!)
Same goes for my aunt on the other side of the family. She had a boyfriend for many years. We just called him by his first name. (They are now broken up ..... so no longer an issue!)
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 434
Location: Northwest Florida | As a child and still to this day, I called my Grandma's boyfriend and now husband by his first name, all of the grandchildren. |
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 The One
Posts: 7997
Location: South Georgia | I would recommend Mr. ___________(first name). But, I am in the south where children refer to adults as Mr. or Mrs. so and so if they are on a first-name basis. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 929
| horsegirl - 2015-12-15 2:19 PM
I would recommend Mr. ___________(first name). But, I am in the south where children refer to adults as Mr. or Mrs. so and so if they are on a first-name basis.
I'm a Yankee so I call them all by their first names, but my husband (a Southerner) says that's rude and everyone is Miss (first name) or Mr. (first name.) A long-term significant other for their grandparents is either Mr or Mrs first name, or Papa or Meemaw/Nana and then the first name. We are all from divorced and remarried families so it can get complicated. (And the kids who can't pronounce whatever your name is at the time get a pass...like in the case of Aunt Vera who is Annie WoWo. LOL) |
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 Chicken Chick
Posts: 3562
Location: Texas | Leave it up to the kid. My grandpa remarried when I was young. I refused to call her my grandma... as far as I was concerned she wasn't my grandma, she was my grandpa's wife.
People try to push my kids to call their new boyfriend/husband whatever papaw or whatever and it really just makes me mad. It really upset me when my mom had my son calling her boyfriend papaw... about 5 years later they split up and my child lost his papaw. He wasn't old enough to understand. It would have made it a little less messy as far as my son was concerned if she waited until they were married or just didn't make a big deal out of it. Seriously a month into the relationship... here is your new papaw!
My husband adopted my son, my son still calls him by his first name. Every now and then he calls him dad but the look on his face is like it is still uncomfortable for him (he was adopted only a year ago). He was 10 when he was adopted by his stepdad and had somewhat of a relationship with his bio father up until then. We don't force him. He can call him dad or by his first name, whatever he feels comfortable with. He called him by his first name since he could talk, switching to dad mid stride would not be easy for him, mainly out of habit. |
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | My grandmother remarried when I was a little girl I cant remember how old I was maybe 10 but I called her husband Grandpa Bill, my real grandpa was never a grandpa to me I never knew him really, he died when I was pretty young. |
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 pressure dripper
Posts: 8697
Location: the end of the rainbow | pinx05 - 2015-12-15 3:57 PM Leave it up to the kid. My grandpa remarried when I was young. I refused to call her my grandma... as far as I was concerned she wasn't my grandma, she was my grandpa's wife.
People try to push my kids to call their new boyfriend/husband whatever papaw or whatever and it really just makes me mad. It really upset me when my mom had my son calling her boyfriend papaw... about 5 years later they split up and my child lost his papaw. He wasn't old enough to understand. It would have made it a little less messy as far as my son was concerned if she waited until they were married or just didn't make a big deal out of it. Seriously a month into the relationship... here is your new papaw!
My husband adopted my son, my son still calls him by his first name. Every now and then he calls him dad but the look on his face is like it is still uncomfortable for him (he was adopted only a year ago). He was 10 when he was adopted by his stepdad and had somewhat of a relationship with his bio father up until then. We don't force him. He can call him dad or by his first name, whatever he feels comfortable with. He called him by his first name since he could talk, switching to dad mid stride would not be easy for him, mainly out of habit. Funny how people are about habits. My husband called his step dad by his first name when talking directly to him or talking about him to family. To friends and strangers he called him "my dad". I believe it was a habit because he called his step dad by his first name when he was very young.
Have your kids call your mom's boyfriend whatever they are comfortable with. If they aren't particularly close to him Mr. _______(first name) is great. If they are closer to him give them the option of making up their own nickname or name of endearment for him... Pawpaw or whatever. I know one grandpa who's grandkid's call him dude because he says he is to young to be a grandpa - so he's their dude.
Edited by willrodeo4food 2015-12-15 9:22 PM
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 Ms. Marine
Posts: 4627
Location: Texas | Not quite the same but my brother and I always called my grandfathers girlfriend by her first name. |
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 I Chore in Chucks
Posts: 2882
Location: MD | I called my "step grandma" libby or lib because that was her name she went by. She wasn't my grandmother, my dads mother died before I ever was born pretty horribly... so my dad made it clear to me as a kid that she wasn't our grandma so we don't need to pretend like she was, she was my grandpas "wife." From my limited experience with kids is that is perfectly okay. They don't need to feel pressed to call someone by a certain title that they may not feel comfortable with. |
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Expert
Posts: 2128
| Thanks everyone for all of your responses!! My child is only 1. She doesnt know the difference yet. My mother has a boyfriend, who she has been dating for 7 years. My mother and I have a complicated relationship, and I am not super fond of the boyfriend. I only see them maybe twice a year. It really caught me off guard when she refered to her boyfriend as my childs "paw-paw" recently. I have been unsure of how I should handle the situation. Maybe I should just go with it so to not hurt anyones feelings, but explain to my child when she can understand.
On the otherside of things..my father remarried when I was in 2nd or 3rd grade. They are still married and my step mother and I have a great relationship. She is Nana to my child. Fair?
Edited by scwebster 2015-12-16 8:48 AM
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The One
Posts: 7997
Location: South Georgia | RodeoCowgirl4u - 2015-12-15 5:36 PM horsegirl - 2015-12-15 2:19 PM I would recommend Mr. ___________(first name). But, I am in the south where children refer to adults as Mr. or Mrs. so and so if they are on a first-name basis. I'm a Yankee so I call them all by their first names, but my husband (a Southerner ) says that's rude and everyone is Miss (first name ) or Mr. (first name. ) A long-term significant other for their grandparents is either Mr or Mrs first name, or Papa or Meemaw/Nana and then the first name. We are all from divorced and remarried families so it can get complicated. (And the kids who can't pronounce whatever your name is at the time get a pass...like in the case of Aunt Vera who is Annie WoWo. LOL )
Yep. I moved here from Michigan 13 years ago and quickly learned, that Mr. and Miss so and so is the best way to approach an elder who you refer to on a first name basis. |
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