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 Veteran
Posts: 110
| I have a "friend" who's horse just tore a ligament and will be out for the rest of the summer. She not so subtly implied that she's going to need to borrow a horse. And of course, out of fourteen to choose from, she wants to ride the one that is not so rock solid and super easy to screw up. The girl is my mom's friend's daughter, so we obviously have to be friends too. I walked her through everything about this horse, how you don't even think about touching her mouth because she's super sensitive, all that stuff. I just gave in and let her take the horse to a youth rodeo for the sake of my mom, and I am just going to say that this girl is a terrible rider. Did the exact opposite of what I told her to and yanked her face around every barrel, and wound up hitting all of them because of it. Now she wants to borrow again this weekend, but she has never come to my house to work on drills or anything, just wants to run my horse. I have talked to my mom about this, and my mom agrees that it's not great, but is telling me to just be generous. I have also brought up using a different one of my horses but she flat out refuses because this one is a palomino. I am trying to just let it go and be kind, but I am having a really hard time with it. Should I just take the horse back and say no or try to put up with this? |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 310
Location: North Dakota | Always do what's right for the horse. In this case, it means NOT letting the girl ride it. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 851
 
Location: West Texas | Take the horse back and say no. Offering another horse would be "more" than generous. If she is entitled and ungrateful, then missing rodeos would do her some good.
Edited by Tdove 2016-07-25 3:25 PM
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 It's not my fault I'm perfect
Posts: 13739
  
Location: Where the long tails flow, ND | shakeit0410 - 2016-07-25 3:20 PM Always do what's right for the horse. In this case, it means NOT letting the girl ride it.
This ^ and have your mom back you up since it's her friends daugther? Not fair for the horse at all.... |
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Veteran
Posts: 234
| Offering another horse is generous but do not let her borrow the sensitive one it might take you years to undo what she does in one weekend. Sounds rather spoiled to me. I don't mean to sound cruel but have ruined more friendships over letting a friend use a horse that we have learned to just say NO if that breaks up a friendship then so be it |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 912
Location: Alabama | No. NO. NO! I would not let that kid on any of my horses again period. If she appreciated it she would ride the one you offered and she would come ride in the mean time. |
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | So your saying that this girl has not taking any riding lessons on this horse and just taking it to run at rodeos? She needs to take some lessons to learn how to ride from you befor she rides any of your horses. There would be no way I would let someone just take one of my horses, dont care who they are if they cant ride they have no bussiness on your horse. So just say no. Let her go borrow someones eles horse. |
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  Fact Checker
Posts: 16572
Location: Displaced Iowegian | Just say.....NO ! |
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 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| Nope, no way. You can handle it in a nice way, with a big smile just say you think she would get along better with x horse, no commenting on her lack of skills. On another note, why in the world does someone borrowing a horse feel entitled to dictate which horse they borrow? I hope she appreciates your generosity. Go get the palomino.
Edited by rodeomom3 2016-07-25 4:18 PM
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 678
Location: Canada | Oh heck no. If someone is kind enough to lend you a horse you thank them profusely, and hang on every word they say about how they like their horse rode. You get as much help as possible and spend as much time as you can with that horse and their owner.
Is she going to undo the damage that is done to that horse when she's finished with it? No! If she ruins it or sours it on barrels then you're the one left holding the reins on a horse that doesn't want to do it anymore, or has more issues then you can count.
If you want to lend her a horse give her the old faithful, easy to ride, can run with a bag on it's head horse. If she doesn't want it that's her problem and she can find a horse elsewhere.
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 Off the Wall Wacky
Posts: 2981
Location: Louisiana | It is YOUR horse to do with as you please. Do NOT feel guilty about not allowing someone else to ride it.
I had a friend ask to borrow my not-so-easy to ride gelding for a weekend barrel race. She had prepaid her fees and her horse had been messing up and she didn't want to waste money.
My reasons for saying no:
1. She expected me to say yes. This bothers me.
2. She was driving 5 hours away, and I wasn't attending the race.
3. I know she can't ride him. Sorry, not sorry. I can barely ride him.
4. Her horse wasn't injured, and he didn't start messing up after she paid up. He's been running the same pattern for months.
5. I've seen her care for her own horse. After a bad run, she once loaded him up saddled, still booted up for the ride home. Nope.
Do what you want. You don't have to share.
My response to my friend? Sorry, but I don't let anyone ride my horses. If she wouldn't pushed, I would've started naming off reasons mentioned above. |
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Expert
Posts: 1314
Location: North Central Iowa Land of white frozen grass | I don't loan my wife or daughters out to my friends and I don't expect I don't loan out my horses ether. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 889
| No, nope, nada, no way, don't even think about it. This coming from the gal who has a mild panic attack when her husband has to do the chores. |
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 Witty Enough
Posts: 2954
Location: CTX | Nope, no way no how.
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 Famous for Not Complaining
Posts: 8848
Location: Broxton, Ga | NJJ - 2016-07-24 5:10 PM Just say.....NO !
Exactly.......... |
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Regular
Posts: 62
| I let a friend use my old rodeo horse to use for our local barrel club and a few races here and there this year. She rode with me, listened to what I had to say and is trying very hard to ride him like I tell her. Now he is older, hauled a lot, can take a lot of rider errors (I know, I make tons all the time). She rides him awesome, to be honest, a lot better than I do. Now, I just sold a horse to a gal and she started off great with him, was only about a half second off of where I was with him (He has a great pattern on him but not finished). Then she started changing bits and headgear and his style. I feel she listens to others about him and what to try but not me. I know this horse, I put the long tough hours on him so it is very frustrating to me to see her take others advice over mine. I am not perfect but I know the horse and feel my advice should at least be considered, and maybe it is but I don't feel it. I sold this horse so I can't take him back but sometimes I wish I could. I have offered to ride with her to help her and it just doesn't seem to work out where we can. I need to let go but I know this horse has so much potential to be a super nice 2D horse if not faster. Anyways, my point is if she isn't interested in at least trying to learn and ride more to the horses style then maybe the generous thing for you to do is offer the other horses you have that may fit her better. IMO. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 695
Location: Windoming | I feel she listens to others about him and what to try but not me. I know this horse, I put the long tough hours on him so it is very frustrating to me to see her take others advice over mine.
Isn't that frustrating? I see it all the time, and I don't understand why people listen to someone who doesn't even know the horse....... |
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 Expert
Posts: 1304
| I haven't read the other responses, but her just not being gracious and taking whatever one YOU want to let her ride tells me she's being spoiled.. and then not wanting that horse because it's a palomino is immature. I'd talk to her and her mom and just tell them you're not comfortable with her using this horse, and that she can use this horse or this horse, etc. If they don't like that then that's tough. She should be thankful you're even letting her use one!!
Edited by blccwgl55 2016-07-26 12:09 PM
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Regular
Posts: 62
| Silly Filly - 2016-07-26 11:49 AM
I feel she listens to others about him and what to try but not me. I know this horse, I put the long tough hours on him so it is very frustrating to me to see her take others advice over mine.
Isn't that frustrating? I see it all the time, and I don't understand why people listen to someone who doesn't even know the horse.......
Maybe she does take my advice but feels it doesn't help or work. To me it just seems like she takes others advice over mine. I don't know why. I want her to be successful on this horse. I feel she is trying to change his style as where I like to give them a great foundation and then let them go with their style. Maybe that's wrong I'm not sure. |
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 I hate cooking and cleaning
Posts: 3310
Location: Jersey Girl | I would take the horse back.
Due to health issues I have not been able to ride since Thanksgiving. Met a girl at my barn, decided to let her start riding my horse. I figured it was better then having him stand around while I can't ride. This girl is a decent rider BUT she ended up making his back sore because of how she positions herself at the trot. My horse started bucking with her. And he is NOT a bucker. Had him chiro'd and massaged and he was sore in areas consistent with her riding style. So now he will have to stand around until I can ride......
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