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Never Named
Posts: 1837
   
Location: Southern Alabama | Okay... here it goes. Most of you may remember me from a few years ago - I was in a bad place, almost married to an awful man, living with my parents, yada, yada, yada. Then, found out I was pregnant by said awful guy. Had baby. Awful guy got cancer(leukemia)... he passed away on September 24th, 2015.... Guys, bare with me here... I am trying to give some back details, plus, not linger or ramble... I'm awful at this.
?Memphis(my son) was about 4 or 5 months old when his father(Mike) was diagnosed with leukemia. He never had much interaction with him. Then, when Memphis was about a year old, we finally split up for good. I won't go into too much detail but, I could not handle the abuse any longer. Well, Memphis has always been a normal little boy. Progressed normally, talking, motor skills, the works. Then, when he turned 2... I really noticed one day, he doesn't talk like kids his age. Took him to the doctor, they said he just didn't want to talk. Okay, fine. Maybe he is just shy/quiet? Skip to 3 years... still not talking, at all. Just babbling. He's had multiple hearing tests done, perfect hearing. Take him to the Nemours Children's Hospital in Jacksonville, FL(We live in Alabama... it was like an 8 hour drive one way) They say they believe he is autistic. I take him home, take him to his pediatrician, he refers me to a neurologist... more tests - MRIs, etc. He is, indeed, autistic. Memphis is nonverbal autistic. However, he is very high on the spectrum - meaning, he is very high functioning just like a child his age, he just doesn't talk. Here lately... he has been trying, more and more. But, everything is babbled and garbled. As in, if you ask him what color my shirt is and it is red, he says (Rrrr).... He cannot pronounce full words. But, he tries so hard. And, if he cannot make you understand what he is trying to say, it really discourages him and embarasses him... I try to help him through his words, but, he gets so upset, so quickly.
?Now, I said all of that to say this - Sometimes.... I feel like I am failing as a mother. I try so hard to help him, to teach him.... but then, you have some of those awful people in the world. The ones that look and stare and make comments when my autistic child is having a meltdown in a store because his whole little world is torn upside down because he doesn't understand something and I am sitting in the middle of the cheese aisle in Wal-Mart holding him.... other kids have laughed at him. Even grown people have made comments about him. How do I handle this? My inner Mama Bear wants to rip them apart... but, that is not socially acceptable, right?
?I don't know what I am really asking for here. Maybe, I just needed to see my own thoughts... I don't know. Ladies, how would you handle this?
?I posted a video on one of those silly little groups on Facebook.... This video was of my son, riding his horse. Little background on the horse - She is a 17 year old paint mare. She is an absolute SAINT. She loves that little boy, more than she loves anything. She will leave her grain to come hang out with Memphis...not anyone else, but him. Also, this mare is very, very, very, very broke. She responds to cues on the ground immediately. But, I have drilled obedience into her since she was a 2 year old.... and then, when Memphis started to want to ride, I would work her 4 days a week in a round pen and just really drilled ground work into her.
?Okay.... back to the video.... it was of Memphis, riding his horse. In his own saddle, but, the paint horse is on a lunge line. I still need that extra amount of protection, per se. But, he is stopping her, backing her up and making her walk on, by himself. I was so proud! Just needed to show off my baby, you know? Some ignorant girl... not sure how old she was, commented on said video..... YOU SHOULDN'T LET RETARDS RIDE..... just like that.
?I lost it. How can you talk about someone's child?!?! I just don't understand.... Ladies, I need some prayers, some advice, something.... to make me feel like I am not the worst mother to ever walk the planet.
?If you read all of my blubbering mess, thank you. You guys are the best <3 | |
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 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9991
 
Location: Kansas | TURNNBURNCOWGIRL - 2017-01-03 8:00 AM Okay... here it goes. Most of you may remember me from a few years ago - I was in a bad place, almost married to an awful man, living with my parents, yada, yada, yada. Then, found out I was pregnant by said awful guy. Had baby. Awful guy got cancer(leukemia)... he passed away on September 24th, 2015.... Guys, bare with me here... I am trying to give some back details, plus, not linger or ramble... I'm awful at this.
?Memphis(my son) was about 4 or 5 months old when his father(Mike) was diagnosed with leukemia. He never had much interaction with him. Then, when Memphis was about a year old, we finally split up for good. I won't go into too much detail but, I could not handle the abuse any longer. Well, Memphis has always been a normal little boy. Progressed normally, talking, motor skills, the works. Then, when he turned 2... I really noticed one day, he doesn't talk like kids his age. Took him to the doctor, they said he just didn't want to talk. Okay, fine. Maybe he is just shy/quiet? Skip to 3 years... still not talking, at all. Just babbling. He's had multiple hearing tests done, perfect hearing. Take him to the Nemours Children's Hospital in Jacksonville, FL(We live in Alabama... it was like an 8 hour drive one way) They say they believe he is autistic. I take him home, take him to his pediatrician, he refers me to a neurologist... more tests - MRIs, etc. He is, indeed, autistic. Memphis is nonverbal autistic. However, he is very high on the spectrum - meaning, he is very high functioning just like a child his age, he just doesn't talk. Here lately... he has been trying, more and more. But, everything is babbled and garbled. As in, if you ask him what color my shirt is and it is red, he says (Rrrr).... He cannot pronounce full words. But, he tries so hard. And, if he cannot make you understand what he is trying to say, it really discourages him and embarasses him... I try to help him through his words, but, he gets so upset, so quickly.
?Now, I said all of that to say this - Sometimes.... I feel like I am failing as a mother. I try so hard to help him, to teach him.... but then, you have some of those awful people in the world. The ones that look and stare and make comments when my autistic child is having a meltdown in a store because his whole little world is torn upside down because he doesn't understand something and I am sitting in the middle of the cheese aisle in Wal-Mart holding him.... other kids have laughed at him. Even grown people have made comments about him. How do I handle this? My inner Mama Bear wants to rip them apart... but, that is not socially acceptable, right?
?I don't know what I am really asking for here. Maybe, I just needed to see my own thoughts... I don't know. Ladies, how would you handle this?
?I posted a video on one of those silly little groups on Facebook.... This video was of my son, riding his horse. Little background on the horse - She is a 17 year old paint mare. She is an absolute SAINT. She loves that little boy, more than she loves anything. She will leave her grain to come hang out with Memphis...not anyone else, but him. Also, this mare is very, very, very, very broke. She responds to cues on the ground immediately. But, I have drilled obedience into her since she was a 2 year old.... and then, when Memphis started to want to ride, I would work her 4 days a week in a round pen and just really drilled ground work into her.
?Okay.... back to the video.... it was of Memphis, riding his horse. In his own saddle, but, the paint horse is on a lunge line. I still need that extra amount of protection, per se. But, he is stopping her, backing her up and making her walk on, by himself. I was so proud! Just needed to show off my baby, you know? Some ignorant girl... not sure how old she was, commented on said video..... YOU SHOULDN'T LET RETARDS RIDE..... just like that.
?I lost it. How can you talk about someone's child?!?! I just don't understand.... Ladies, I need some prayers, some advice, something.... to make me feel like I am not the worst mother to ever walk the planet.
?If you read all of my blubbering mess, thank you. You guys are the best <3
what's this B**ches name? I ain't afraid to make a grown woman cry | |
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I just read the headlines
Posts: 4483
| I am so sorry about how other people are responding to you and your son. I just don't understand how people like that think. You are a good mother it sounds like.
Just recently I have seen several books on Autism and microbomes in/on our body and also about nutrition and Autism. I wish I had written the titles down. If you haven't read these maybe they could help you in some way. There seems to be a lot of interesting research finally being done on Autism. Have you read Temple Grandin's books on how she has dealt with her Autism?
I totally understand your need to keep a longe line on the horse with a 3 year old on board. You are just being a cautious momma and there is nothing wrong with that.
You'be been dealt a tough hand, but it sounds like you are doing a good job. I wish I had some advice for you but I don't. Just educate yourself as much as you can on Autism. Hugs and prayers for you. | |
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Never Named
Posts: 1837
Location: Southern Alabama | hoofs_in_motion - 2017-01-03 8:11 AM TURNNBURNCOWGIRL - 2017-01-03 8:00 AM Okay... here it goes. Most of you may remember me from a few years ago - I was in a bad place, almost married to an awful man, living with my parents, yada, yada, yada. Then, found out I was pregnant by said awful guy. Had baby. Awful guy got cancer(leukemia)... he passed away on September 24th, 2015.... Guys, bare with me here... I am trying to give some back details, plus, not linger or ramble... I'm awful at this.
?Memphis(my son) was about 4 or 5 months old when his father(Mike) was diagnosed with leukemia. He never had much interaction with him. Then, when Memphis was about a year old, we finally split up for good. I won't go into too much detail but, I could not handle the abuse any longer. Well, Memphis has always been a normal little boy. Progressed normally, talking, motor skills, the works. Then, when he turned 2... I really noticed one day, he doesn't talk like kids his age. Took him to the doctor, they said he just didn't want to talk. Okay, fine. Maybe he is just shy/quiet? Skip to 3 years... still not talking, at all. Just babbling. He's had multiple hearing tests done, perfect hearing. Take him to the Nemours Children's Hospital in Jacksonville, FL(We live in Alabama... it was like an 8 hour drive one way) They say they believe he is autistic. I take him home, take him to his pediatrician, he refers me to a neurologist... more tests - MRIs, etc. He is, indeed, autistic. Memphis is nonverbal autistic. However, he is very high on the spectrum - meaning, he is very high functioning just like a child his age, he just doesn't talk. Here lately... he has been trying, more and more. But, everything is babbled and garbled. As in, if you ask him what color my shirt is and it is red, he says (Rrrr).... He cannot pronounce full words. But, he tries so hard. And, if he cannot make you understand what he is trying to say, it really discourages him and embarasses him... I try to help him through his words, but, he gets so upset, so quickly.
?Now, I said all of that to say this - Sometimes.... I feel like I am failing as a mother. I try so hard to help him, to teach him.... but then, you have some of those awful people in the world. The ones that look and stare and make comments when my autistic child is having a meltdown in a store because his whole little world is torn upside down because he doesn't understand something and I am sitting in the middle of the cheese aisle in Wal-Mart holding him.... other kids have laughed at him. Even grown people have made comments about him. How do I handle this? My inner Mama Bear wants to rip them apart... but, that is not socially acceptable, right?
?I don't know what I am really asking for here. Maybe, I just needed to see my own thoughts... I don't know. Ladies, how would you handle this?
?I posted a video on one of those silly little groups on Facebook.... This video was of my son, riding his horse. Little background on the horse - She is a 17 year old paint mare. She is an absolute SAINT. She loves that little boy, more than she loves anything. She will leave her grain to come hang out with Memphis...not anyone else, but him. Also, this mare is very, very, very, very broke. She responds to cues on the ground immediately. But, I have drilled obedience into her since she was a 2 year old.... and then, when Memphis started to want to ride, I would work her 4 days a week in a round pen and just really drilled ground work into her.
?Okay.... back to the video.... it was of Memphis, riding his horse. In his own saddle, but, the paint horse is on a lunge line. I still need that extra amount of protection, per se. But, he is stopping her, backing her up and making her walk on, by himself. I was so proud! Just needed to show off my baby, you know? Some ignorant girl... not sure how old she was, commented on said video..... YOU SHOULDN'T LET RETARDS RIDE..... just like that.
?I lost it. How can you talk about someone's child?!?! I just don't understand.... Ladies, I need some prayers, some advice, something.... to make me feel like I am not the worst mother to ever walk the planet.
?If you read all of my blubbering mess, thank you. You guys are the best <3 what's this B**ches name? I ain't afraid to make a grown woman cry
I am not sure of her name.... they blocked me from the group and removed my post when I may or may not have threatened the girl. Thank you for this. | |
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Never Named
Posts: 1837
Location: Southern Alabama | GLP - 2017-01-03 8:12 AM I am so sorry about how other people are responding to you and your son. I just don't understand how people like that think. You are a good mother it sounds like. Just recently I have seen several books on Autism and microbomes in/on our body and also about nutrition and Autism. I wish I had written the titles down. If you haven't read these maybe they could help you in some way. There seems to be a lot of interesting research finally being done on Autism. Have you read Temple Grandin's books on how she has dealt with her Autism? I totally understand your need to keep a longe line on the horse with a 3 year old on board. You are just being a cautious momma and there is nothing wrong with that. You'be been dealt a tough hand, but it sounds like you are doing a good job. I wish I had some advice for you but I don't. Just educate yourself as much as you can on Autism. Hugs and prayers for you.
Thank you. I try very hard to be good to him and for him. Teaching him new things and, since Autism is a sensory disorder... I try to expose him to things slowly, to let him adjust... even though he is very high on the spectrum. Now, I have not read that book, but, I will check it out.... I'm going to look on Amazon to see if I can find it | |
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 Namesless in BHW
Posts: 10368
Location: At the race track with Ah Dee Ohs | First of all, kudos to you for coming for help/guidance. There are support groups and therapy all over for autistic children. Find one and get some support and help. I have a really good friend who adopted a little boy and found out he is autistic later on. She built her own business for just this purpose. And to the lady with all the rude comments, shame on her. I'd like to see the little tyke riding his horse..lunge line or not. It takes alot of work with these kids, Reach out to a support group. | |
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 Expert
Posts: 2128
| Firstly, you are doing an amazing job. Raising children is hard enough especially by yourself. Throw his condition in there and it becomes much harder. I applaud you. I know it has to be heartbreaking when people stare or make comments. I would be super protective. If they make rude comments I wouldn't feel bad about letting them know it was not OK! It amazes me how many people in this world do not know how to act. I think him spending time with the paint mare is a wonderful thing!! He can communicate with her without having to rely on words :) I know of several autistic children that benefit from therapy riding. Most did not have the luxury of growing up in a horse family. Thankfully your little one does.
As for those jerks that commented on your facebook video....what a low down ignorant person they must be. That says a lot about their character. I got infuriated reading that part..the world is cruel and some people suck.
Keep up the good work and do not let people with less raising get you down. Hugs and prayers to you from one mom to another.
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Never Named
Posts: 1837
Location: Southern Alabama | total performance - 2017-01-03 8:18 AM First of all, kudos to you for coming for help/guidance. There are support groups and therapy all over for autistic children. Find one and get some support and help. I have a really good friend who adopted a little boy and found out he is autistic later on. She built her own business for just this purpose. And to the lady with all the rude comments, shame on her. I'd like to see the little tyke riding his horse..lunge line or not. It takes alot of work with these kids, Reach out to a support group.
Thank you. That means a lot to me. He is a special little fella. He is in therapy now and so far, it seems to help him, some. He enjoys going to 'school' and seeing his teacher, who he just adores. I am just appalled and heart broken that people can be so cruel. | |
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  Fact Checker
Posts: 16572
Location: Displaced Iowegian | Let me start this by saying that you need a big HUG! Dealing with an autistic child is not easy. I have an autistic cousin. He is SUPER intelligent but very child like in his mannerisms. There are so many spectrums of autism. My suggestion would be to check with your local hospital (or social services) to see if there are any support groups that YOU can join. Also, he probably needs special language classes to help him. They can teach you how to respond and help him learn.
edited to add: I just read where you have him in classes.
Edited by NJJ 2017-01-03 8:26 AM
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Never Named
Posts: 1837
Location: Southern Alabama | scwebster - 2017-01-03 8:20 AM Firstly, you are doing an amazing job. Raising children is hard enough especially by yourself. Throw his condition in there and it becomes much harder. I applaud you. I know it has to be heartbreaking when people stare or make comments. I would be super protective. If they make rude comments I wouldn't feel bad about letting them know it was not OK! It amazes me how many people in this world do not know how to act. I think him spending time with the paint mare is a wonderful thing!! He can communicate with her without having to rely on words :) I know of several autistic children that benefit from therapy riding. Most did not have the luxury of growing up in a horse family. Thankfully your little one does.
As for those jerks that commented on your facebook video....what a low down ignorant person they must be. That says a lot about their character. I got infuriated reading that part..the world is cruel and some people suck.
Keep up the good work and do not let people with less raising get you down. Hugs and prayers to you from one mom to another.
Thank you. I second guess myself.... so much. Always the thought 'If I do this, will it help?' or, 'If I hadn't of done this, would he still have this against him?' I know I shouldn't, but, I do. | |
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Never Named
Posts: 1837
Location: Southern Alabama | NJJ - 2017-01-03 8:23 AM Let me start this by saying that you need a big HUG! Dealing with an autistic child is not easy. I have an autistic cousin. He is SUPER intelligent but very child like in his mannerisms. There are so many spectrums of autism. My suggestion would be to check with your local hospital (or social services) to see if there are any support groups that YOU can join. Also, he probably needs special language classes to help him. They can teach you how to respond and help him learn.
NJJ, I absolutely adore you... you demented old bat ;) Memphis is currently going through therapy.... they are going to start him on PEC, soon. PEC is where they teach them to communicate using pictures. I take him to the library on Wednesdays too, for reading class. He enjoys that, too. We spend a lot of time, outside, with the horses. He loves them. And, you can just tell, when he is around them, he is more... at peace maybe. He doesn't have to try and talk to them, they just understand him. There is a support group for Mom's at his school... I think I am going to join it. | |
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 Bulls Eye
Posts: 6443
Location: Oklahoma | First of all HUGS... you have a LOAD on your shoulders. Memphis sounds like a doll. Have you ever thought of a communication device that can allow him to communicate more freely? My mom is a regional manager for Tobii Dynavox that does these devices. I will call her later today and get her feedback on if she thinks a device might help. Have you reached out to any groups of other moms with autistic children? They can be a sounding board and a world of knowledge. Also, talk to your health insurance provider regarding options of therapy, devices, etc... I will PM you later when I can get in touch with my mom. She was also a speech pathologist, so I know she might have some insight too.
Edited by TwistedK 2017-01-03 9:06 AM
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 Miss Laundry Misshap
Posts: 5271
| First off, that lady who commented needs to be smacked upside the head. That is NOT ok.
I run the HS Autism program. I have a lot of kids that are high on the spectrum. The biggest thing you can do is to keep what your doing. Keep introducing him to things. If he has a meltdown, that's ok. Keep after it. The more exposure the better. Also, talk with doctors, the school (see if there is an Area Education Agency with Speech therapy, which it sounds like he's in), and look up books, and FB pages. There is a very good one called AutismTalk on FB. Another one is Special Books by Special Kids.
Temple Grandin is very good as well.
PECS is a good system. The hard part is being consistent. Do some research on what school he is going to attend when he's old enough and see what programming they have. Pick a school that is familiar with Autism if possible. Make yourself heard if they don't have a specific program. Do not let them boss you around.
If you have an Iphone or Ipad there is an app called Autism Apps. Not sure if it's on android or not. But it has professionally tried and true apps that help with just about any topic you can think of for learning. The base app is free. Some of the internal apps are paid and some are free (TONS of apps within the app!)
You can always message me if you have any questions. | |
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Never Named
Posts: 1837
Location: Southern Alabama | You ladies are amazing. Thank you. I know I can come here for support, for advice and even, just to vent. He is in speech therapy, it is through the school, where he will be attending. There is a special teacher who has her own class for strictly autistic children. I am so afraid to let him go to school. Fear of him being embarassed, fear of ridicule, and, I won't be able to protect my baby while he is gone. I know, silly, huh? I have tried some of the apps.... but, Memphis isn't too keen on watching things on a phone, for long. He is very busy... wants to be outside, being a little boy... eating dirt and stuff, you know? He doesn't have meltdowns to often. Maybe once or twice a month. But, when he does, he is almost inconsoleable. I try to get his attention and find something he likes. One time, I had to buy three blankets so he could lay down in the buggy in Wal-Mart and cover up with one of them... completely covered up while he played on my phone. Sometimes, we have to sit in the floor in the middle of a busy store. Sometimes, I have to stop my truck on the way somewhere so we can get out and walk around and talk about what is bothering him. I try to have a calm, quiet, soft approach, always. I don't want him to see me upset because I don't want him to think he has done something wrong. My husband(who is not his father) is a saint. He tries so hard to help him, too. The other night, Memphis had a meltdown in the bath tub.... I could not for the life of me calm him down and, he did not want to get out of the tub. What does Brandon do? He gets in the bath tub with him and they play with bubbles and his monster trucks until the water got cold. I thank the Good Lord every day for bringing that man to me and more importantly, to Memphis. Brandon is the Dad Memphis never had.
Sometimes.... I get so upset. So flustered. So frustrated. So... I don't even know. That I feel like I might explode. Being a SAHM that works from home, it can be difficult sometimes. Thank goodness for Brandon. He knows how hard it can be, even on me... and let's me have a break. I know.... some people say I shouldn't need a break from my own kid, that I am being selfish... but, sometimes... I really just need some quiet time. | |
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I just read the headlines
Posts: 4483
| I just wanted to add, you come on here to vent any time you want! I have found that with something as serious as this, we ALL seem to pull together and offer any knowledge or support we can. As everyone has said, you are doing a GREAT job. | |
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 Serious Snap Trapper
Posts: 4275
Location: In The Snow, AZ | My heart hurts for you and your beautiful son. People can be so cruel. But know that God gave your baby boy to YOU because he knew that you were strong enough to handle everything that comes with raising an Autistic child. Hugs and prayers being sent your way. You sound like an AMAZING mom to that sweet little boy. | |
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Miss Laundry Misshap
Posts: 5271
| There is NOTHING wrong with needing a break. It's normal and it's also necessary! You can't be the best you can be without staying sane!
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Never Named
Posts: 1837
Location: Southern Alabama | ~BINGO~ - 2017-01-03 9:19 AM My heart hurts for you and your beautiful son. People can be so cruel. But know that God gave your baby boy to YOU because he knew that you were strong enough to handle everything that comes with raising an Autistic child. Hugs and prayers being sent your way. You sound like an AMAZING mom to that sweet little boy.
Thank you. It is the hardest yet, most rewarding job I have ever had. Sometimes, it is so mentally exhausting... especially when we have a lot of errands to run, which means, we have to get in and out at a lot of different, sometimes scary places for him. I don't want to feel like a failure of a parent because I get stressed and need a break... but sometimes, I just do. | |
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 Witty Enough
Posts: 2954
Location: CTX | I have no advice, but all I can say is, keep at it. Sounds like you are a great mom. Adn your boy is a credit to that!
As for the idiot that decided to be a b!tch online, stuff her. The only thing worse than a bully is an internet bully, hiding from behind the keyboard!
So, hugs for you, Memphis and Brandon. And by all means, come out and vent here!
Also, if you don't mind, pls post the video of Memphis riding, I know a lot of people here will enjoy seeing it.
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | Oh yes I remember you you had alot going on, But sorry to hear about the baby daddy I do remember when he got sick.
Your boy sounds like a sweet baby that needs understanding, I agree find a support group for parents with Autistic children and I have heard horseback riding was a super good thing for the autistic and you sound like a good mom that has to deal with alot of stress in her life, you need that support group for the autistic.. | |
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Folks on-line