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 Money Eating Baggage Owner
Posts: 9586
   
Location: Phoenix | So 2 months ago I moved my horse to a smaller, private residence because he would be getting more personalized care and lots of turnout. And I loved having him there. But yesterday, apparently the barn owner wanted me to come up and hang out but I didn't realize she wanted me to do that that badly and I said I was going to go home because I had to work later. So then she calls me later that night, drunk and is saying how I am disrespectful, cold, have an attitude, and have no grace. WTF? I keep to myself while I'm there, try to stay out of their way, am friendly....I don't want to be a nuisance....that's my mentality. I try not to overstay my welcome. The farrier wanted to come out in the morning to shoe my horse and she said it was too early. She could have left it at that but instead she launched into insulting me.
She's resorted to insulting me with every text she sends. I went out today to try and move my horse to a new facility I found within 4 hours of this drama and she has all my stuff locked up. So even if I wanted to ride or heaven forbid groom my horse, I couldn't. I told her I was blocking her number until Tuesday when she said I could pick up my stuff. I couldn't take the insults any longer!! I SO would have taken my horse today but I didn't want to risk not getting my belongings back. I don't think she'll hurt my horse--she loves him.
I think she wanted me to be best friends with her but I wasn't. She was mad that I didn't come out so much but before said she didn't mind because that's what she was there for (and that's what I was paying her for). Long story short--don't board with "friends."
Any tips? I am so beyond done with this. I start shaking everytime she texts me. I don't need this type of negativity in my life!!!! She's clearly unstable and very unhappy. I try to remember that. But still. The words hurt, especially since they are untrue. It'll be a long 48 hours. Please pray for me!!
Edited by hammer_time 2017-05-29 12:33 AM
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 My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | Oh my goodness, how horrible for you. This makes me sooo thankful we have our own land for our little herd. . . |
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Money Eating Baggage Owner
Posts: 9586
Location: Phoenix | Chandler's Mom - 2017-05-28 10:37 PM Oh my goodness, how horrible for you. This makes me sooo thankful we have our own land for our little herd. . .
We have no $$ to put down but I've never waned my own property more than I do right now!! This lady is NUTS. Fiancé said he wouldn't have proposed to me if I was actually like what she's describing. So that's comforting. Hah!! |
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 Expert
Posts: 1718
Location: Southeast Louisiana | Yeah, sounds like she is unstable. Without knowing the other side of the story (and not saying you've done anything wrong here) I'd say your best move is to remove this toxic person from your life. Sorry it didn't work out.
i.e.: from the limited info available, people (especially crazy ones) will fill in the voids with what they want to see. She could have taken your actions to mean more than they did. You were friendly, then stayed out of her way. That is when her own mind took over. When she realized that she implied the wrong intentions to your actions, she could have become defensive. Alcohol intensifies that effect.
(Much like dog training) you could have sent messages without realizing it. Also, without realizing the level of crazy you were dealing with.
Hope your horse is ok. Don't worry too much about her. You can't control other people's actions. It's not your fault. You trusted another person and that person turned out to not be trustworthy. Lesson learned. Moved on. |
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Money Eating Baggage Owner
Posts: 9586
Location: Phoenix | At this point, my fiancé is thinking about grabbing everything and not having me even come on the property. That may be a good idea. I have no idea how she'll be in person. She won't shut up text message wise. She's been blocked since 7 pm. |
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 Take a Picture
Posts: 12838
| Easier said than done but take a deep breath and calm down. Wait until Tuesday, take your boyfriend and get your stuff. Hopefully she will be sober by then. There is nothing worse than dealing with a drunk. Until then, keep calm and carry on. Good luck. I feel for you |
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  Fact Checker
Posts: 16572
Location: Displaced Iowegian | hammer_time - 2017-05-29 1:18 AM At this point, my fiancé is thinking about grabbing everything and not having me even come on the property. That may be a good idea. I have no idea how she'll be in person. She won't shut up text message wise. She's been blocked since 7 pm.
Do not send your fiance' out there by himself because he is NOT the owner and legally, she does not have to allow him to take anything.....take him WITH you. If you want your horse and tack before Tuesday (and, personally, I would not leave it there) have a Sheriff's deputy escort you there. She has no reason to lock it up unless you have not paid your rent for the month. |
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Expert
Posts: 1718
Location: Southeast Louisiana | hammer_time - 2017-05-29 1:18 AM
At this point, my fiancé is thinking about grabbing everything and not having me even come on the property. That may be a good idea. I have no idea how she'll be in person. She won't shut up text message wise. She's been blocked since 7 pm.
What kind of stuff is she saying in her texts? |
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | What was the reason for locking your things up? |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | IF IT WERE ME....I WOULD APPOLOGIZE FOR WHAT I DIDNT DO AND SMOOTH THINGS OVER ASAP UNTIL I GOT MY HORSE AND TACK.THEN..I WOULD HAVE NO CONTACT AT ALL.
Edited by jake16 2017-05-29 9:30 AM
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | NJJ - 2017-05-29 8:06 AM hammer_time - 2017-05-29 1:18 AM At this point, my fiancé is thinking about grabbing everything and not having me even come on the property. That may be a good idea. I have no idea how she'll be in person. She won't shut up text message wise. She's been blocked since 7 pm. Do not send your fiance' out there by himself because he is NOT the owner and legally, she does not have to allow him to take anything.....take him WITH you. If you want your horse and tack before Tuesday (and, personally, I would not leave it there) have a Sheriff's deputy escort you there. She has no reason to lock it up unless you have not paid your rent for the month.
All this^^^^^^^ And I would have called the Sheriff to let them know what was going on so they would have a heads up on what was going on and ask them to escort me to go pick up my tack and horse, this lady sounds really loony and not to be trusted.. |
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 Veteran
Posts: 287
| If she locked your stuff up without cause, have the police go out there with you tondo a civil standby while you remove your things. Then if she continues to.text and harass you, file a no.contact order. If she violates that, she will be thrown in jail. |
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 Mature beyond Years
Posts: 10780
Location: North of the 49th Parallel | I have a barn owner story that would beat yours lol but I agree with everyone else, have the police come out with you. She sounds cray cray! |
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 Sock eating dog owner
Posts: 4553
Location: Where the pavement ends and the West begins Utah | OMG!.,Get your stuff and horse ASP. My neighbor lived in a bottle.Never sober has no clue how to function in society.I feel for you.Bat sh$t crazy is an understatement.good luck and stay safe. Addiction is the worst. I'd change phone number. |
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Money Eating Baggage Owner
Posts: 9586
Location: Phoenix | Ok I am attaching the screenshots of the conversation. They are numbered at the top so you can go in order. Number 2 is after the 30 minutes phone call blasting my personality when she was drunk. I also apologized profusely for any misunderstandings during this call.
A couple of weeks ago the welding for the gate latch was broken. They say they saw my horse leaning on the gate and concluded that's how it broke. And maybe that's true because it's my horse and her 2 horses.
And maybe I am a snob? But I don't feel like one. I've expressed my appreciation via text messages and whenever I'm there I tell her how happy my horse is and how he seems to like it here. I've never once bad mouthed her or gotten in a verbal tiff. I've been out numerous times when she's been gone and we've missed each other. Have there been stretches of time where I didn't come out to see him? Yes! I am busy at work and that's why I pay her to take care of my horse. And she takes great care of him so I don't feel the NEED to come out as much. I even commented how I feel bad that I'm not out as much and over and over she's said how it's OK and she understands. She doesn't have an arena or roundpen so I'm stuck trail riding and often times I arrive too soon before dark and don't have enough time to get a ride in.
I think the summer sore he currently has is what started this whole thing. I had the vet out to treat that and give spring shots and apparently she hates female vets and doesn't trust vets period and think they charge too much and yadda yadda yadda. SHE offered to clean his wound when I wasn't able to make it out there. And then the shoer wanted to come early in the morning to avoid the heat and then I didn't come up to the house for the party that was apparently happening and then the phone call. The last half of the screenshot is from her husband and he is at least being reasonable.
I've NEVER been treated like this. And my feelings are hurt. I know stick and stones may break my phones but words will never hurt me.....but they sting a little. I have so much uneasiness in my stomach. :(
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Veteran
Posts: 264
| Been in this exact situation a year ago. Get your horse out of there fast. The owner I dealt with was threatening not only myself but my animals. Horse ended up with stab wound. Went to court for restraining order and nothing was done because there was no photographs/video proof. Even with text messages showing the threats.
I would ask for police escort so she doesn't say you are trespassing and really do something dangerous. Explain the situation to the police and they will go over there with you. Do not send your significant other by themselves. |
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 Famous for Not Complaining
Posts: 8848
Location: Broxton, Ga | NJJ - 2017-05-28 9:06 AM
hammer_time - 2017-05-29 1:18 AM At this point, my fiancé is thinking about grabbing everything and not having me even come on the property. That may be a good idea. I have no idea how she'll be in person. She won't shut up text message wise. She's been blocked since 7 pm.
Do not send your fiance' out there by himself because he is NOT the owner and legally, she does not have to allow him to take anything.....take him WITH you. If you want your horse and tack before Tuesday (and, personally, I would not leave it there) have a Sheriff's deputy escort you there. She has no reason to lock it up unless you have not paid your rent for the month.
^^^^^ I would go get my horse.........today........ |
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 Not Afraid to Work
Posts: 4717
| I would also go get my horse today. The fact that she mentioned him getting hurt... doesn't sit well with me. I am sure she is implying that in case of normal situation/circumstances but I don't like that one bit. I would let her know the sheriff's dept will be coming with you Tuesday and getting your belongings.
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 889
Location: on the fine line between insanity and geniusness | I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. I agree with everyone above, GO GET YOUR HORSE. take a sheriffs officer with you, she can't hold your stuff hostage. |
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 Thread Killer
Posts: 7543
| I would get law enforcement involved, if possible, and get the heck out of there IMMEDIATELY. |
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