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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 368
 
Location: Ellensburg, Washington | My son is 5 and has been riding (very lightly) with me for a little over a year. Just leadline stuff. He has fallen off his pony, last year, got back on and was fine. Now for some reason in the last couple of months he has been super scared to ride. He will help brush, clean feet and saddle, but once he gets in the saddle and we lead off he gets scared and says he wants off. The pony hasn't taken a wrong step. He hasn't seen anyone get in any horse wrecks, he hasn't had any wrecks. The only thing I can think of is the last couple times my husband has led him and he took off his coat the pony sucks back a little (we think he was thumped on).
He says he wants to ride my himself and he doesn't want to get a different horse but I am frusturated because it limits my ability to ride if he wont go with me. When I push him on why he doesn't want to ride he said he doesnt like when the pony is wiggly. I am guessing it is the couple of times he stepped backwards. Do I push him and lead him around crying and scared hoping he figures out it isn't so bad or do I just keep encouraging him and take anything I can get. I told him if he doesnt want to ride that is fine but he says he still wants to ride. I suggested we get a bigger horse who isn't so "wiggy" and feels more solid but my husband didn't think it would help. Any advice from anyone on how to approach this?
Edited by ropin1 2017-06-19 11:37 PM
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 Owner of a ratting catting machine
Posts: 2258
| He needs a reason to ride other than just riding. Moving cows, "winning" playdays, I dunno, find him a purpose. |
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 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| IDK, pushing some kids works others it makes them push back even more. Do you have a friend of his that you can invite over and let him ride the pony? I would not say anything like "look, he rides and is not afraid" but just let his friend riding be part of the play date. I have 3 girls, when one didn't want to ride or go a lesson I didn't fuss, I just said ok and loaded her horse anyway. When she asked why I said well the horse is still going to the lesson, one of your sisters will ride it, which made her promptly change her mind and grab her boots and get in the truck. I wouldn't play the friends like I did my girls but maybe seeing a friend having fun with the pony will help get over his fear. Or take him and pony to ride with another kid and pony |
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 Regular
Posts: 65
| My daughter is 3 & will compete in the leadline division of our local youth rodeo starting this September. She loves it! I still lead her & use a magic seat though! I got lucky that she just took right to it but I won't push her if she changes her mind. It would break my heart a little though haha!
Edited by rae2 2017-06-22 10:27 AM
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 Warrior Mom
Posts: 4400
| I hear ya on this one.. except my son who's 8 won't even get on a horse anymore... and I'm gonna tell you, this kid can rope the dummy with his eyes closed! Never misses.. he's got an amazing swing too, he's had it ever since he first picked up a rope! Breaks my heart he doesn't even want to learn to ride! |
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Married to a Louie Lover
Posts: 3303
| My 6 year old niece sounds similar. She is fine on "her" horse who is a total babysitter. Her dad put her on his colt the other day to just walk around and cool him out, he doesn't steer as well as the other horse yet and kept wanting to come back and stand with the rest of the horses. It spooked her a little and pretty soon tears were involved.
My other niece is now 10 and has always been fearless. At 7 she was starting to heel very slow cattle. But my husband also babysat her a lot when she was little so she had to go with him when he was working around the farm.
If he wants to ride but doesn't want to ride the pony is there another suitable mount available? Is there an older kid around who could put some rides on the pony? |
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 Expert
Posts: 1631
Location: Somewhere around here | want2chase3 - 2017-06-20 7:18 AM
I hear ya on this one.. except my son who's 8 won't even get on a horse anymore... and I'm gonna tell you, this kid can rope the dummy with his eyes closed! Never misses.. he's got an amazing swing too, he's had it ever since he first picked up a rope! Breaks my heart he doesn't even want to learn to ride!
He's only 8 so hopefully he'll change his mind when he gets a little older :D |
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Veteran
Posts: 233
| I ride in the yard while my 2 year old plays on the deck. Means I can't ride out unless hubby is home to watch the kids, but there is no reason to let an unmounted child limit your riding. He's going to pick up on the resentment, and that's not going to help. It shouldn't be a big deal if he wants to ride or not. There's always showmanship, or even a life without horses. Not my path, but it's not my job to force a child into a mold. |
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 Expert
Posts: 3815
Location: The best kept secret in TX | hannahbug - 2017-06-20 8:49 AM
I ride in the yard while my 2 year old plays on the deck. Means I can't ride out unless hubby is home to watch the kids, but there is no reason to let an unmounted child limit your riding. He's going to pick up on the resentment, and that's not going to help. It shouldn't be a big deal if he wants to ride or not. There's always showmanship, or even a life without horses. Not my path, but it's not my job to force a child into a mold.
Agree with this. My youngest used to lay in a shaded pop up play pen while I rode. Now she stands by the round pen or stands on the porch. She gets so excited watching me ride. She gets to "ride" him back to the barn if she is good and doesn't wander.
I would find this boy something to do with his pony. Build him a course to go through. Put up a barrel with a bucket and flag in the bucket. Make him push cows. Teach him to rope, teach him to do poles. Show him how to tie goats. Basically get his mind working to where he doesn't notice the wiggly pony. Tell him to ride through the pasture with you and help you count cows or check fence.  |
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 Serious Snap Trapper
Posts: 4275
Location: In The Snow, AZ | want2chase3 - 2017-06-20 6:18 AM
I hear ya on this one.. except my son who's 8 won't even get on a horse anymore... and I'm gonna tell you, this kid can rope the dummy with his eyes closed! Never misses.. he's got an amazing swing too, he's had it ever since he first picked up a rope! Breaks my heart he doesn't even want to learn to ride!
Our daughter just turned 8 as well. When she was 5, we bought her an awesome little horse. He walked a little fast, but other than that, was really nice. Especially for lead line type stuff. She did some gymkhanas and had fun, but riding lost its "flare" after just a few weeks, so we sold the horse. About a year and a half later, she was super interested in riding again. We bought the perfect little pony, 13 handsish. Just a doll. Never took a wrong step. Went only as fast as she wanted. Shoot, she was loping circles on that little mate, and confidently trotting around barrels/loping in between at gymkhanas. Then one day, all done. I was having to force her to spend any time with Daisy, let alone ride her. So we sold her to some friends for their kids.
Now, Amber is 8. Decided she wants to ride again just recently and I'm not sold. She's definitely trying to help more outside, mix feed, feed dogs and cats. But she jumps back and forth on what she likes and wants and any horse here needs to earn their keep. So another horse going to waste isn't going to fly for me. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1094
Location: Idahome | My daughter just turned 5. We bought her a mini last summer that is a baby sitter. She was a little honery this spring after having the winter off, but a few rides and she is good to go. It seemed like a constant struggle getting her to ride and do more than walk when we first started back. She wanted to jr rodeo and we told her she couldn't go if she didn't ride a practice even if all she did was walk. Took her to her first jr rodeo last week where she had friends that were all trotting and loping the barrels and poles. She must have decided it she was ready and when she went in the arena for the barrels, she kicked up to a trot through the whole pattern. Her seeing her friends all do it gave her the confidence she needed. Now she asks to go out and ride with us and trucks it all over the place. Even started following the dummy around on her. We have never pushed her, but gave her the choice. She wanted to go to the jr rodeos, so she had to keep her pony exercised.
My son, who is 2, we have to beg to get off the pony. He has loved the horses and always has a rope in his hand. Some kids want it more than others. I think as parents we want them to want it so badly that we can tend to push them towards the horses and they don't really have any fun. Be patient and supportive in whatever they want to do. |
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | They will let you know in time when they are ready to start riding, all kids are different some are born to ride and then you have some that start riding when they are old enough to decide for themselfs and then you have the ones that show no interest at all untill their teens, then the ones that dont care to ride at all. I hate seeing parents pushing their kids into something they are not ready to do, let the kids decide for themselfs. |
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 Gotta Have a Gray
Posts: 899
Location: Tex. Panhandle | I have a 10 yr old who couldnt care less about riding. Never had an accident or anything to scare him. I've had some really gentle horses that he could cool down for me in the past and he wants to for a little bit then will go months without ever wanting to even pet them. I'd love for him to ride but i'm not pushing it. He enjoys soccer, baseball and basketball. If that is where his interests lie then so be it. The middle one whose 5 is kinda the same way. He wants to ride them back to the barn after I ride and he gets to then he goes on his marry way to go play.
We've thought about getting them something to ride over and over again but can never justify it as they just dont seem to be THAT into it. |
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 Lived to tell about it and will never do it again
Posts: 5409
| Need to find some other kids that like to ride and have them and their horses over. nothing teaches them how to ride like riding with other kids and having fun. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 602
| My daughter got bucked off last October. (She is 5) Didnt want to ride a horse at all. I took her to a barrel race where they had a peewee division, she asked why those kids got to participate. I told her there is an age group for her. We got home and she wanted to ride. She was still super scared and didnt want to move. I came across a jr princess/queen competition, asked if she wanted to try. She said yes. When we got there, she realized other kids were riding. She competed and won Jr. Princess. Now she is hooked. Wants to ride every day and practice for the next gymkana.
*Riding with mom is boring but riding with a friend is fun. Im not cool anymore. haha. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 929
| My son, who is 2, REALLY wants to ride while I ride...to the point of screaming and crying the whole time while I work my horse. But then when it's time to cool the horse out and let him ride he sometimes tells me "No." Okay, then...you don't have to ride the horse, but the screaming drives me nuts and takes my focus away from my colt.
Don't push them towards it- the more you push the more likely they will resent you and the entire lifestyle later on. Like someone else said, get a friend who has a pony to ride with him, or let other kids come over and ride. He may just need motivation. |
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 It's not my fault I'm perfect
Posts: 13739
Location: Where the long tails flow, ND | My son will be 5 next month and his been riding with me or getting lead since he could sit up. This year he is really not interested in riding, I wont push him. He loves being around the horses, giving them treat, and helping with chores. I asked him if he wanted to sell his mini and he snapped back no pretty dang quick. He loves them, just would rather cheer everyone on and play with his toys by the arena instead. |
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| Southtxponygirl - 2017-06-20 9:53 AM
They will let you know in time when they are ready to start riding, all kids are different some are born to ride and then you have some that start riding when they are old enough to decide for themselfs and then you have the ones that show no interest at all untill their teens, then the ones that dont care to ride at all. I hate seeing parents pushing their kids into something they are not ready to do, let the kids decide for themselfs.
Totally Agree!
I have 3 daughters. The oldest (21) was not even scared an ounce. Climbed on anything standing there. She runs barrels but loves to rope. The 2nd one (15 ) rides great, but could careless about it. And if she does ride she wants to be left alone. She just wants to have fun and if you try to instruct her in anyway she gets right off. But you can put any type of musical instrument in her hand and she can play it. That's her passion. The littlest one (13) loves to run barrels and wants to go to more shows and rodeos than I can afford. But she was a very timid rider and we had to move her up gradually onto different levels of horses. It took a long time to find the right ones and to build her confidence, but once she did watch out.
Each kid is different. You cannot push them. You have to let them show you if its something they really want. |
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 I'm Cooler Offline
Posts: 6387
Location: Pacific Northwest | I started riding a retired rope horse when I was 4. You couldn't keep me from riding.
My brother is a year younger than me and has never had much interest. He's ridden a little bit and my parents bought an extra pony when we were little but honestly he's never had the same interest as me.
I wouldn't push it. If he insists on wanting to ride then let him ride. But I don't think you can force someone to not be scared. He's getting old enough where I think if he really wants to ride he will also want to work through his fear. I know plenty of kids that went through phases of being terrified of their horses. They all eventually got over it. |
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 Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | euchee - 2017-06-20 11:31 AM Need to find some other kids that like to ride and have them and their horses over. nothing teaches them how to ride like riding with other kids and having fun.
This is where we're at. Mom is boring to ride with and tries to teach, riding with other kids is fun. |
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