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 Total Germophobe
Posts: 6443
   
Location: Montana | That you just didn't get along with? I have one that is a very pretty, well built horse and moves nicely, and when she is good, rides like a dream! But it seems like we butt heads. Some days we can get along pretty well, then other days I wonder what planet she stepped off of. She has to do everything the hard way. And it doesn't follow her heat cycles, if it did it would make it much easier to predict and expect. If you have encountered this, how did you overcome it or work around it? Did you sell that particular horse? Or keep them and work through it? And if you kept them, how long did it take until you finally came to a meeting of the minds? I'm so frustrated right now with this one I've got, I don't know what to do.
ETA: Just wanted to add this is not a physical issue with this horse, but more of an attitude/psychological/personality issue.
Edited by mtcanchazer 2017-06-27 11:14 PM
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 Quarter Horse HIstorian
Posts: 2878
 
Location: Aubrey, Texas | Sometimes, TIME is an expensive luxury. The horses that I've had the most trouble initially with have taught me the most. BUT, there was no pressure on me to get it right in X amount of time. I prefer mares to geldings, but I am weird that way; I get bored easily, lol. I've been extremely lucky, in that the right people have always appeared to help me when I encountered a difficult case. So, with that being said, do you:
1. Like the mare (really like her, as an individual)
2. Have an open mind to learn new things/ways of looking at things
3. Have a lot of patience
4. Have the luxury of time with no pressure to produce by OX/XX/2017
5. Have access to someone who is knowledgeable and experienced with "difficult" horses to bounce ideas off of?
If you lack even one of those things- (there is NO shame- it's a tall order!) then find someone to sell her to who does. If you're up for the challenge, then go for it. If you can keep her, even if the mare doesn't make The One, the things you will learn from her might help you make the next one THE ONE.
Take the pressure off of yourself and I believe you will see a difference in your mare. Feel free to PM me if your want further clarification. |
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 Scooters Savior
Location: "Si Fi" Ville | I'll trade you my serial killer for your b****! He HATES me |
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 A Barrel Of Monkeys
Posts: 12972
Location: Texas | Yes, bought one for my teenage daughter from a friend. She'd been aced when we tried her. Got her home she couldn't even lope a circle, no matter how much ace you gave her. We tried a few weeks and got rid of her. It wasn't the mare's fault that she'd been blown up but I felt we couldn't do anything with her except go backwards.
Is your mare being nervous and not responding? Or is she just not training like you'd want her to? Sometimes you need to just let them do their style and go with it. And when you have a bad day with her try to find a good note to quit on and quit. I've always said a sign of a good trainer is knowing when to quit. |
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Total Germophobe
Posts: 6443
Location: Montana | cloverleaf - 2017-06-27 9:32 PM Sometimes, TIME is an expensive luxury. The horses that I've had the most trouble initially with have taught me the most. BUT, there was no pressure on me to get it right in X amount of time. I prefer mares to geldings, but I am weird that way; I get bored easily, lol. I've been extremely lucky, in that the right people have always appeared to help me when I encountered a difficult case. So, with that being said, do you: 1. Like the mare (really like her, as an individual) 2. Have an open mind to learn new things/ways of looking at things 3. Have a lot of patience 4. Have the luxury of time with no pressure to produce by OX/XX/2017 5. Have access to someone who is knowledgeable and experienced with "difficult" horses to bounce ideas off of? If you lack even one of those things- (there is NO shame- it's a tall order!) then find someone to sell her to who does. If you're up for the challenge, then go for it. If you can keep her, even if the mare doesn't make The One, the things you will learn from her might help you make the next one THE ONE. Take the pressure off of yourself and I believe you will see a difference in your mare. Feel free to PM me if your want further clarification. Hi cloverleaf, in answer to your questions (and thank you for your response and ideas!).
1. Most of the time I like this mare, except when we are butting heads (and I'm a mare person too, I've only had one gelding and he was a complete dork  not a bad horse, but such a drama queen, LOL)
2. I definitely have an open mind...I have tried more/different ways so far of working with this horse (or at least I think I have), and I would love something that works with her 100% of the time.
3. I do have patience, although I will admit to being part Irish, and sometimes my patience is on the slim side. But I do try.
4. This is a hard one for me to answer. It is a yes and no sort of thing. Some things I have a time frame on and other things I can wait on. But as far as like barrel training, I don't have a time frame on and can just let her pick her learning speed. Other things like being able to check fence and not spook at the irrigation pipe we've seen 20 times, yeah, I think you could learn after 20 times and it NEVER moves.
5. I have a friend who has had a couple of difficult ones, and I've already bounced a few ideas off of her. She pretty much told me some horses are just like that and you can't pick on them/push them on one subject or they get kinda pi$$y.
This horse is an odd one, but I think she'll make a good one. I want to get along with her so bad and I try to work with her, but somedays it seems like a fight.
Fun2Run: you are absolutely right about knowing when to quit. Most days I do...with this horse, most days I do not! I guess I haven't figured out the right formula with her yet.
Edited by mtcanchazer 2017-06-27 11:04 PM
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Quarter Horse HIstorian
Posts: 2878
Location: Aubrey, Texas | I'm sending you a (long!) PM- give me a few minutes. . . I feel your pain! |
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Red Bull Agressive
Posts: 5981
Location: North Dakota | My sister's horse. I did not like him and he did not like me. I was very involved with his care because she was still quite a novice so I spent a lot of time with him. Our personalities did not mesh at all. He was ear shy and would let my sister put the bridle on but not me, even though I was standing there coaching her through how to do it. When she lost interest I made the ad and helped my parents sell him to the first people that came to look.
There are issues I'll work with, but personality doesn't really change. I won't waste my time and money on a horse I truly don't like.
Edited by cavyrunsbarrels 2017-06-27 11:22 PM
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 Owner of a ratting catting machine
Posts: 2258
| Yep. Sell the horse.
I currently have three geldings on my trailer that are the light of my life. I am never frustrated, angry, or upset with them. They and I just get along so well, they delight me.
It took me a LOT of horse trading to get to them, and they are lifers that will die with me when their time comes due.
I don't give a horse more than a few months anymore. Ain't nobody got time fo' 'dat. |
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 Texas Taco
Posts: 7499
Location: Bandera, TX | I have one… She is 11 now and was a yearling when I bought her. Now, you have to keep in mind that I don’t sell horses…. Never have….
This mare was awful, she bucked for many years, sets back, and could not figure it out. I hated her. I actually wanted her to get hit by lightning. But, since I don’t sell horses and I am a very hard headed German I did not give up on her. And finally one day it all came together. I was so proud. She ended up being my best friend, if I could, I would have taken her to the mall to go shopping and eat ice cream. It also helped that she was extremely lucky and we usually left the race with a check somehow. In her entire career this horse did not hit one barrel. Not one.
She now has health issues and is not sound. Not sure if she will ever come back. It breaks my heart, and I want nothing more than for her to be well again.
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Veteran
Posts: 217
| I have one...she's for sale right now. Started her slow and doing slow work she's great to get along with and with me it's slow work. For everyone else, she'll do whatever they ask her to. Fast or Slow. Idk if it's my hands or my seat and I'm okay with that. I tried changing ways for her, and I still couldn't get it right for her. So instead of hindering her, I'm selling her so someone can do her justice. It happens sometimes even though it sucks. I've had her a little over a year now, started from scratch. My mom has had two. She tried two years to make one work, but he knew how to push her buttons away from the farm. The other one was too big of a bully for her to work with. She sold him a couple of months after she got him (he's now in my pasture :) |
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Veteran
Posts: 155
| My daughter and I had one. Super nice mare, bred well, great confirmation, but just different. We put her on regumate for her cycles, we would tag team riding her, tried everything. Eventually I decided I'd had enough. It wasn't fun anymore. I didn't say anything ,I wanted my daughter to make the decision since she started her. Eventually she decided it was time to fine someone who would be better for her. She went to a young girl who it doing more with her, and they are both happy! |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 534
Location: Ohio girl moved to PA | I had one. Let me tell you, she was the ultimate MARE. She couldn't even be rode when she was in heat. She is the mare that ruined mares for me. I'm a gelding person all the way because of her. Now dont get me wrong, she was a great horse! Did 4h for years, knew all the patterns, big appendix beautiful girl that i could put anyone on. She hated men which wasnt helpful when my boyfriend helped out at the barn. BUT, we just did NOT get along. we butt heads like no tomorrow and it became a hassle anymore and i wasnt having fun..I gave her 8 months. Well, Come to find out.. shes a little girls horse. I traded her for my current barrel gelding and the little girl absolutley adores her! they get along so well. She was never one to let you just "hang out" in her stall with her, 2 weeks after we traded i got a pic sent to me of her sleeping in the stall with the mare!! So it worked out. IM happy, MARES happy, GIRLS happy. and My geldings are my world!! Some times its not always bad to just move on.. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 672
| I think the best thing to do when training or riding a horse you don’t see eye to eye with is to always give them respect and the benefit of doubt. Don’t take anything personally. Horses are black and white; cause and reaction. I see a lot of times people taking things personally and getting after the horse for it, when if they'd just take a look and see what is causing the negative reaction and fix that rather than adding to the the problem..
Every horse is different, you have to find out each thing that makes that particular horse tick.
Not every horse you’re going to click with and have a bond, but with time and understanding you can develop a good working relationship.
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Unable to Live Without Chocolate or Coffee
Posts: 1849
| yes. sell the horse. unless you don't value your time lol. I had a mare that was 50% great and the other was horrid. we but heads terriblely! someone was gonna get hurt lol my vote - sell |
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Total Germophobe
Posts: 6443
Location: Montana | Thanks for all the great thoughts and info. I'm a mare person...I have a lifer horse that is a mare and she and I work great! But this other mare I have tried with for over a year and has been difficult from the beginning. When I went to look at her, she was great and we got along well, but it was all down hill from there. I don't like to give up on one, I want and try to make it work, but sometimes I'm tired of the struggle. |
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Texas Taco
Posts: 7499
Location: Bandera, TX | mtcanchazer - 2017-06-28 10:13 AM Thanks for all the great thoughts and info. I'm a mare person...I have a lifer horse that is a mare and she and I work great! But this other mare I have tried with for over a year and has been difficult from the beginning. When I went to look at her, she was great and we got along well, but it was all down hill from there. I don't like to give up on one, I want and try to make it work, but sometimes I'm tired of the struggle.
I'm a mare person too. I got a new filly a while ago. She was sweet but could be a jerk too. She is a completely different hosre now that she is on Regumate. Might be worth a try. |
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 Dog Resuce Agent
Posts: 3459
Location: southeast Texas | mtcan,,,,
what are you feeding? I got my horse off 90% of sugars. He is on a forage diet with added fat ( renew gold ) and his supliments formulated for him from THE.
Granted he is a gelding but is becoming more consistant with this new diet. He couldn't handle commercial feeds at all. |
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Total Germophobe
Posts: 6443
Location: Montana | roxieannie - 2017-06-28 9:25 AM mtcan,,,,
what are you feeding? I got my horse off 90% of sugars. He is on a forage diet with added fat ( renew gold ) and his supliments formulated for him from THE.
Granted he is a gelding but is becoming more consistant with this new diet. He couldn't handle commercial feeds at all.
She is out on pasture 100% of the time in the summer and on grass/alfalfa hay in the winter. Hardly any additional feed grain or pellets, she's an easy keeper, and then a complete mineral supplement. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 964
Location: Alberta, Canada | I had one. No matter how hard I tried, she didnt like me and I didnt like her. 6 months into her futurity year I finally admitted defeat (which was incredibly hard for me) and sold her. Best choice for myself and the horse. She went on to do well with a different rider and the rest of the horses in my barn began to shine because I didnt have the added stress that came with this mare from us not enjoying each other. |
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 Take a Picture
Posts: 12841
| I have had 2 in the ) 60+ years I have been riding. Orb were given plenty of time to get it. I sold one to someone to pony thoroughbreds on---no stress and does not require thinking. I sent the other one to the killer so she would not hurt anyone. There is a reason horses are there |
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