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 BHW New Catch of the Day
Posts: 9884
    
Location: Missouri | I left a job at the court house to work for a private law firm 3 1/2 years ago. The money was so much better and a more relaxed atmosphere. When I arrived the previous secretary hadn't been there for 3 weeks and the attorney was about 2 months behind, plus I was now the County Counselor's secretary. There was nobody here to guide me so I had to figure it out as I went. Needless to say I thought things had be going fairley well the past few years. The County Counselor is very hard to work for and we've had numerous issues. He get's quite mean when things don't go right. Well, I made a mistake and yesterday he was beyond furious. Chewed me out 3 different times and in front of people. I have no explination why I did what I did. Brain fart maybe? I don't know. Apparently I did it correct last year and screwed up major this year and like I said, I cannot explain why. This morning he accused me of lying and trying to decieve him. It's been an extreme last 24 hours. All I can do is apologize and I have.
The other issue is the attorney I work for in the office is running for Judge next year and has basically checked out. He gets extremely stressed when I ask him a work related question like omg sorry I'm making you be a lawyer! He's very passive agressive.
I would give anything to be able to be my own boss and make a living without. I wish I had some kind of talent that would allow me to do so. I'm nearing the end of my working career. I'm 56 and plan on retiring at 65. I just want to pack up my office and go home. I'm beyond miserable. |
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 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
Location: Kansas | sounds like a hostile work environment.....I'd quit.
Let them do the paperwork themselves, then maybe they will be a little more respectful to those who are in that position. |
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  Ms. Marine
Posts: 4641
Location: Texas | There is absolutely no reason for someone to chew you out in front of other people, and you should remind him of that. Do the same thing to him if you must. You don't deserve to be treated that way and you shouldn't tolerate it. I hope things get better for you. |
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 Warrior Mom
Posts: 4400
| Tbred - 2017-11-07 12:12 PM
I left a job at the court house to work for a private law firm 3 1/2 years ago. The money was so much better and a more relaxed atmosphere. When I arrived the previous secretary hadn't been there for 3 weeks and the attorney was about 2 months behind, plus I was now the County Counselor's secretary. There was nobody here to guide me so I had to figure it out as I went. Needless to say I thought things had be going fairley well the past few years. The County Counselor is very hard to work for and we've had numerous issues. He get's quite mean when things don't go right. Well, I made a mistake and yesterday he was beyond furious. Chewed me out 3 different times and in front of people. I have no explination why I did what I did. Brain fart maybe? I don't know. Apparently I did it correct last year and screwed up major this year and like I said, I cannot explain why. This morning he accused me of lying and trying to decieve him. It's been an extreme last 24 hours. All I can do is apologize and I have.
The other issue is the attorney I work for in the office is running for Judge next year and has basically checked out. He gets extremely stressed when I ask him a work related question like omg sorry I'm making you be a lawyer! He's very passive agressive.
I would give anything to be able to be my own boss and make a living without. I wish I had some kind of talent that would allow me to do so. I'm nearing the end of my working career. I'm 56 and plan on retiring at 65. I just want to pack up my office and go home. I'm beyond miserable.
Yuck. I'm sorry you are going thru this. I've been there more times than I'd like to admit.. hating my job and being treated like garbage.. is there anyway you can go back to the courthouse? Or maybe apply at a different firm? |
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 The One
Posts: 7998
Location: South Georgia | I was a legal assistant for 6 years before and during my undergrad. What you describe is just how some attorneys are. They are used to getting their way and they don't care about stepping on you.
I'd suggest you put out feelers and give some people a call and see if you can find another position at a different law office. It's not worth being miserable.
Side note--I am an English major and one attorney I worked for made me write HIM a paper arguing whether the word "done" or "finished" is the appropriate response to give him once I had finished his assignments he left out for me. I have a name for him!
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Warrior Mom
Posts: 4400
| hoofs_in_motion - 2017-11-07 12:16 PM
sounds like a hostile work environment.....I'd quit.
Let them do the paperwork themselves, then maybe they will be a little more respectful to those who are in that position.
The last place I worked I was the secretary for a couple that just happened to be going thru an ugly divorce.. I had just gotten divorced myself and I needed the job so I just did it... these people were straight up nuts! They'd get into screaming matches and they'd throw stuff, cops would come etc etc... they'd play tug o war with me... then they would both tell me the other one said this or that about you.. it was HORRIBLE. The absolute last straw was when I got a phone call from my brother in law when I was at work telling me my aunt had just committed suicide, I was crying in my office and I told them I needed to leave, that crazy loon had the nerve to say I didn't have vacation time and I couldn't take any time off, if I did, I wouldn't be paid... I packed my stuff and peeled out of the driveway.. I ended up having to block their numbers from my cell phone because they were harassing me... you can't make that $hit up! |
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Expert
Posts: 1599
| I worked for an equine surgeon once- exaclty the same way. The ego/passive agressiveness/lack of HR department made things emotionally draining. NOTHING you could do would be worthy of that kind of treatment. I'd suggest taking your skills and search for a purchasing position at a manufacturing company. Still good money and good hours and there's an HR department!! |
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BHW New Catch of the Day
Posts: 9884
Location: Missouri | There are some positions open at the court house but I struggled so bad financially when I worked there I'm not sure I'd want to go back. Plus, since I left them once..........would they even take me? I wish my husband made enough so that I could find something else, but we rely heavily on what I make because I bring home more.
What bothers me most is the fact he said I lied and was decieving him! He asked me a direct question and I gave him a direct answer. Neither one of us elaborated. I learned NOT to elaborate my answer with him a long time ago because what I get is.............i don't care how it works, just do it. Then today he said I should have said more...............ugh |
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 Off the Wall Wacky
Posts: 2981
Location: Louisiana | I would have walked out.
I refuse to be treated as "less than" just because of my education, salary, gender, etc.
I also understand not everyone can afford to "walk out" in the moment, but I dang sure would be looking for a new option.
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 A Barrel Of Monkeys
Posts: 12972
Location: Texas | Been there. If he cusses, quit and collect unemployment. As someone else said, hostile work environment. |
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 Loves to compete
Posts: 5760
Location: Oakdale, CA | that sucks...........I'm sorry. I would never quit a job or burn a bridge I would definately look for another job.......
who can live off of un employment....................you will find something hang in there......... |
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Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
Location: Kansas | Fun2Run - 2017-11-07 12:33 PM
Been there. If he cusses, quit and collect unemployment. As someone else said, hostile work environment.
In our state, if you quit....you don't qualify for unemployment. Only if you're fired |
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 Expert
Posts: 3815
Location: The best kept secret in TX | If you can prove any of this I would keep record. Just remember, recording a person on video or voice recorder without their knowledge in some states is illegal. Any email, any eye witness statement that can be signed and notorized without the boss knowing, any text, or note. It's all evidence.
BUT, I would be dotting my I's and crossing my T's while looking for a way out at the right time.
There are so many instances in your original post that are grounds for unemployment to be drawn while you look for another job.
To me, that's what unemployment is for: To use in order to get out of an unfair or terrible work situation while you are looking for a job. No shame there.  |
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Regular
Posts: 82
| I see you are in MO. File a complaint with the EEOC for hostile work environment. This falls under sexual harrassment. Then he can go home and explain why he has a sexual harrassment charge against him. I worked for a man that this happened to. Funny thing was the one that filed against him was the one that created the hostile work environment.
Don't just quit over this and do not just not show up for a few days to get fired. That is considered self termination and you will need to wait 6 months to get unemployment in MO.
Edited by barrelnut 2017-11-07 1:07 PM
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 Expert
Posts: 2128
| That really stinks. Maybe send him an email (that way he has to read the intirety)and explain that you just made a mistake and it was not malicious at all. He should feel bad for speaking to you that way esp in front of others.
I have been there. I was an assistant to a man right under the VP for the 2nd largest oil company in the world. He gave me instructions to come get him out of a meeting when a guest of his arrived. When that person arrived a supervisor told me not to interrupt the meeting..that he would text the boss to let him know.. Well boss didnt get the text and he came out angry to learn I had not gotten him. He yelled at me in the hall and all the other employees could hear. He treated me fine after he learned the whole story but he never apologized. |
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Veteran
Posts: 277
| dashnlotti - 2017-11-07 12:32 PM
I would have walked out.
I refuse to be treated as "less than" just because of my education, salary, gender, etc.
I also understand not everyone can afford to "walk out" in the moment, but I dang sure would be looking for a new option.
Exactly!! I don't tolerate people treating me like sh!t. |
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| If your resume isn't up to date it's time to do so and post on Indeed or other sites and start looking. You are choosing to stay miserable because it is easier than getting your stuff together and making a change. I get it's hard to adjust to a change in income but you are choosing to be uncomfortable for 8+ hours a day just to be slghtly more comfortable for the few hours you get to be home. I'm not telling you to just walk out the door but I would be actively looking and applying for a different job. If it gets bad enough to walk sell off any extra vehicles, horses, etc. and be happier with less stuff and less stress. |
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BHW New Catch of the Day
Posts: 9884
Location: Missouri | I hear what ya'll are saying. I should be happy but gosh darn it I just wanted to work someplace till I retire. Starting new again at 56 blows and staying here blows. I don't want the last 8 years of my employment to be miserable. The only thing I was ever really good at was waiting tables and that blows too, lol. I'm good at riding young horses out and about and exposing them to all kinds of things and having super easy going barrel horses you can trail ride without a fight but I'm pretty sure there isn't a market for that, lol. |
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| Tbred - 2017-11-07 2:34 PM I hear what ya'll are saying. I should be happy but gosh darn it I just wanted to work someplace till I retire. Starting new again at 56 blows and staying here blows. I don't want the last 8 years of my employment to be miserable. The only thing I was ever really good at was waiting tables and that blows too, lol. I'm good at riding young horses out and about and exposing them to all kinds of things and having super easy going barrel horses you can trail ride without a fight but I'm pretty sure there isn't a market for that, lol.
If it were a year or two off then I would say stick it out but it's not and what happens if it gets pushed back a few years for any number of reasons? Do you want to be miserable for 20,870 more hours of your life? I am firm believer God makes us uncomfortable in order to get us to change. When things are easy and going well we usually have no motivation to change. The fact that it has gotten to the point of misery tells me you should be so uncomfortable staying the same that change should be welcome, maybe not easy but at least change should give you hope. |
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 Born not Made
Posts: 2937
Location: North Dakota | Ugg, I would start looking for a new job.
Being a boss myself, I could NEVER imagine calling someone out in front of other employees or clients. If there is a problem with an employee, you speak to them in private with a rational head on your shoulders.
You spend the majority of your time at work. It's miserable to be miserable. No one should have to put up with that. Money is nice but your mental well-being is important too.
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