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 Expert
Posts: 1432
  
Location: Never in one place long | I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed the past few months and trying make my life simpler but still meaningful... How do you balance life...I never have a free second to myself when it's all said and done and I don't even have kids... I've decided to get out of a few volunteer roles lately that have been consuming my time but it's really hard... I've even downsized to one horse but still can't find the time to ride most days. How do you simplify your life but still take time to spend with those important to you and giving back to the world?
Also, how do you decide what to do long term in your like saving vs enjoying things now.. I feel like we save so much but wonder if it's the right thing since so many young people I know right now are being diagnosed with cancer and dying young.. Just wondered if any of the older generation has any advice.
I'm guessing all will have their own opinion and there is no right or wrong answer just curious to hear what others have found through trial and error. | |
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I just read the headlines
Posts: 4483
| My family comes first, always.But my animals always are cared for and safe. If I can't do that for them, I do what is best for them. I was lucky enough to be a stay at home mom and that meant we didn't vacation like other people, didn't have brand new vehicles or shop the expensive clothes, do mani's and pedi's and when the kids got serious about showing heifers and sports/band, I didn't barrel race any more, though I did ride (for my own sanity and the kids safety, lol). I don't do volunteer work but I do donate money and food, clothes, etc. when I can. I am now helping raise a grandson, so again, family comes first. When I need me time, I take a hour, 1/2 day or evening and be by myself, usually hanging out with the horses or holed up reading. I am a person who needs a little alone time every once in a while to recharge or I get unpleasant. | |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 823
Location: East Texas | Don't prioritize your list....list your priorities. | |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 542
| Riding is my priority....I will get up at 4 and ride before work. I will stay up until 11 or 12 if needed to get colts worked. I must leave my home ready for work by 6:30 at the latest. I put too muchof my money into my horses to lose time on them. They are a second income and I don't compromise my time with them. No excuses moto.
Edited by runfastturnsmooth 2018-03-01 2:25 PM
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Expert
Posts: 1432
Location: Never in one place long | runfastturnsmooth - 2018-03-01 2:24 PM
Riding is my priority....I will get up at 4 and ride before work. I will stay up until 11 or 12 if needed to get colts worked. I must leave my home ready for work by 6:30 at the latest. I put too muchof my money into my horses to lose time on them. They are a second income and I don't compromise my time with them. No excuses moto.
but how do you balance it with getting enough sleep, Church activities (if religious), working out, cooking healthy meals, work meetings, trips, reading and other obligations? | |
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I just read the headlines
Posts: 4483
| DLV - 2018-03-01 3:35 PM
runfastturnsmooth - 2018-03-01 2:24 PM
Riding is my priority....I will get up at 4 and ride before work. I will stay up until 11 or 12 if needed to get colts worked. I must leave my home ready for work by 6:30 at the latest. I put too muchof my money into my horses to lose time on them. They are a second income and I don't compromise my time with them. No excuses moto.
but how do you balance it with getting enough sleep, Church activities (if religious ), working out, cooking healthy meals, work meetings, trips, reading and other obligations?
You have to make choices. It stinks, but there it is. My son had to chose between basketball and stock shows in high school because the lack of sleep due to travel almost caused me to wreck us both several times late at night. My daughter had to chose between competition cheerleading and showing heifers because we couldn't afford both. My husband and I had to choose between extras and being a stay at home mom. | |
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 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| GLP - 2018-03-01 3:46 PM DLV - 2018-03-01 3:35 PM runfastturnsmooth - 2018-03-01 2:24 PM Riding is my priority....I will get up at 4 and ride before work. I will stay up until 11 or 12 if needed to get colts worked. I must leave my home ready for work by 6:30 at the latest. I put too muchof my money into my horses to lose time on them. They are a second income and I don't compromise my time with them. No excuses moto. but how do you balance it with getting enough sleep, Church activities (if religious ), working out, cooking healthy meals, work meetings, trips, reading and other obligations? You have to make choices. It stinks, but there it is. My son had to chose between basketball and stock shows in high school because the lack of sleep due to travel almost caused me to wreck us both several times late at night. My daughter had to chose between competition cheerleading and showing heifers because we couldn't afford both. My husband and I had to choose between extras and being a stay at home mom.
Agree, it is s choice. I stayed at home with our four children and there was a time that I was volunteering so much in my kids classroom, Girl Scouts, team mom etc. that I became a grump at home because every moment was spent preparing for the next activity so I had to start saying no. | |
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| (This is long, sorry in advance!!)
If you're finding yourself with no free time, then you have too much going on. If you don't even have the time to take a nap, then you need to cut back. If you feel overwhelmed, then you are. If "life" seems insurmountable, you need to shorten your timeline. Start by planning each day (not each week or month or whatever). When you are feeling stable enough that you're accomplishing everything each day you set out to do, then plan two days at a time, etc. You brought up how people are being diagnosed with cancer and dying young, those people are living each day at a time and all of their priorities have shifted to that moment, not a year from now, not a month from now, NOW.
If you still feel like you're not getting everything done that you hope to, once again, cut certain things (like volunteering) down to once a week, or once every two weeks (maybe try meal prepping?). I love reading, but there's been months where I have been so busy I haven't had a chance to pick up a book. I don't beat myself up over it, I just look forward to when I have the time to read again. Life is a series of giving and taking.
I work on a rotational schedule, and my husband's career as a solo practitioner equine vet keeps him pretty darn busy. There are days when I get off graveyard shift at 6am and go help him float teeth and take radiographs for six hours, say hello to our horses, and then sleep until I get up to eat and leave for work again that night. I don't mind losing sleep to help him because it saves us from having to hire a tech, and it allows us to spend time together. We have goals in mind and we understand that sacrifices will have to be made to accomplish those.
One of the "goals" we had was going to Spain before we had kids (hopefully traveling this fall, then thinking about kids after). We had been saving up money, but due to unforeseen circumstances with the legislature in our wonderful state, our timeline for putting in a well and building our house was delayed for over a year. This wait cost us a lot of money and time, and Spain is out of the picture for the time being. Having kids is a bigger priority to us than traveling abroad (which we've done a fair bit of already), so now we've shifted our focus on getting our house built and finally having our own place to live again, and maybe we will visit Spain when our kids are older. Having money saved up is always a good idea, you never know what might happen.
Keep things in perspective, be patient, stay thankful and forever be grateful for what you do have. I've always liked the quote "it's better to do one thing well than ten things poorly."
Edited by madredepeanut 2018-03-01 5:02 PM
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 Famous for Not Complaining
Posts: 8848
Location: Broxton, Ga | Decide what makes you happy.........if what you're doing is a more of a chore then I would revisit the reasons you are doing what you are doing......and don't let someone else's goals make you miserable....the overachiever lol hats off to them!
As for saving.......I would say yes save something.......reality is "older" comes sooner than we expect..... | |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | LEARN TO JUST SAY NO,LIVE FOR YOURSELF INSTEAD OF EVERYONE ELSE;) | |
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Expert
Posts: 1432
Location: Never in one place long | some good advice, thank you all. | |
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 The best bad guy on the internet
Posts: 3519
Location: Arizona | I try to keep things simple and as organized as possible. I try to set reasonable goals and do my best to achieve them. Sometimes I just have to say "no" to family things, like birthday parties, gatherings, church, or whatever if it is interfering with my goals. As far as saving money, I would save as much as you can. I'm in my 40's and my husband is in his 50's and we plan to retire in at least 6 years. We don't own fancy brand new vehicles and all the latest "toys". Retiring early is way better!! :) | |
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Expert
Posts: 1599
| Do what makes you happy. | |
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Good Ole Boys just Fine with Me
Posts: 2869
Location: SE Missouri | I left a great job b/c it became my life. That's not me but it had been for five years. I will make less money that I have in years but I got my time back. It would be so easy to get right back in same boat if I wasn't careful. I'm selective with my time now, it's really all I have and it is limited.
My husband is a priority., personal relationships with people that are important to me is next, and Running barrels is after that. They all intertwine in ways. I did tell my husband if I couldn't go to 9 shows a year I was selling my mare and I'm not kidding. She's too nice to hang out and waste waiting on me. I will just ride some colts and enjoy a slower pace if I can't make those shows. Totally not mad about it but I think the waste is such a bigger deal to me than it used to be b/c I feel like everything happens for a reason but part of me knows I wasted precious time in those five years I will never get back.
I volunteer at our church's barrel clinics on Friday nights once or twice a month and I get so much out of that. It just feels good to give back. I do have savings goals and met some of those before becoming self employed. We are now putting those on hold and building an office/apartment/barn/combo and breeding four mares all of which sound insane at times but we are doing it anyway. We have a paid for trailer, truck, hay equipment, tractor, and the house we live in. We just pray the timing works out on the building completion and our current house selling.
Balance by deciding what you will put in your jar - big rocks, medium rocks, sand, and water. If you fill with water and sand first then you cant fit the meaningful big rocks in. The seven habits of highly effective people is really good at making you dive into those ideas.
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 545
Location: Texas | DLV - 2018-03-01 12:35 PM I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed the past few months and trying make my life simpler but still meaningful... How do you balance life...I never have a free second to myself when it's all said and done and I don't even have kids... I've decided to get out of a few volunteer roles lately that have been consuming my time but it's really hard... I've even downsized to one horse but still can't find the time to ride most days. How do you simplify your life but still take time to spend with those important to you and giving back to the world? Also, how do you decide what to do long term in your like saving vs enjoying things now.. I feel like we save so much but wonder if it's the right thing since so many young people I know right now are being diagnosed with cancer and dying young.. Just wondered if any of the older generation has any advice. I'm guessing all will have their own opinion and there is no right or wrong answer just curious to hear what others have found through trial and error.
I don't have any advice because I'm facing the same situation. I have a regular job, work several side jobs (time rodeos, produce events, etc) and try to find time to ride in there while traveling tons to things with my husband's work which are some of my side jobs. We don't have kids and are feeling like if we are going to have them it needs to be soon because of our age, but I just can't agree to that because I feel like I barely can get things done now, much less adding a kid to the mix. It won't change his life because his job won't change and so when he's home he will help, but otherwise it'll be on me pretty much as a single mom and married. I love our life but there are times where I feel like I'm only halfway doing things because I can't be good at anything or accomplish things I want to because I'm overwhlemed and never have enough time. I also feel like when I do have "time" I just want to sleep because I'm worn out. | |
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