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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 408
| Does any of you have this same issue? I am so mad at myself for having to fight my demons every single time I put a foot in the stir up! I have a wonderful horse, with lots of potential and safe!!! And now we have our young one (well, not so young, 6 years old) going nicely. He is a pretty good guy but once again, my mind is playing tricks on me! ok, I am done whining! Just wondering if anyone out there goes through the same thing. Believe when I say the struggle is so very real! |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 545
 
Location: Texas | My low confidence came from coming off and breaking my arm almost TWO years ago. Since then I have battled my mind and riding timid and like I have no ability. I have been riding since I was two years old and have never had trouble like I have lately. It's like I don't know why my mind has me convinced I can't ride, when I haven't forgotten how to ride. It was a freak deal that I came off and broke my arm, but it has caused me so much trouble especially when I compete. I can totally relate though to how you feel. I am slowly making progress but sometimes wonder if I'll ever ride like I did. The crazy thing is I was fine when I broke my arm, fine after surgery, and all of that, it's not even like I had a hard time while recovering. It was a process and took therapy for my wrist/hand to work right, but still I consider myself pretty tough, but mentally I have and am struggling. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 408
| I am sorry you have to go through it as well. I had a worse wreck and I was in the hospital about to lose my kidneys when I was a teen. So I have been battling these demons for a very long time. It is not fun AT ALL! The other day I had a friend of mine telling me that I needed to step up to the plate, that if I wanted to do better I needed to do this and to do that, and no one could help me unless I wanted bad enough.
I know she is 100% correct, and I DO WANT IT BAD ENOUGH! I work my tail off, I ride even when most people won't (hot, cold, in the rain) It's like once you put me in a new situation, I totally freeze and I forget all my training, and if my horse is a bit fresh or jumps a little, FORGET IT! it is like my mind switches to a different gear! Ughhh, I absolutely hate it!!! |
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I just read the headlines
Posts: 4483
| I am battling this myself. I have decided to start all over with ground work for myself and my horse so we can learn to trust each other again and gain confidence together. I will build that up to riding and since summer is coming, I will be more comfortable riding in the heat knowing he won't really want to pull any "Ye Haw!" shenanigans. I am looking into clicker training, but a slightly different version of it. I haven't made that decision yet, though.
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 Off the Wall Wacky
Posts: 2981
Location: Louisiana | Things that help me...
Riding, the more I ride, the better I feel like I can ride, and the less "bad" thoughts I have.
Eating better.
Exercise. The gym helps me a LOT.
It's hard to find time to do all those things, but all 3 together are really what has helped me, IMO.
I would have thoughts about my horse rearing up and flipping over on me, bucking me off and dragging me, etc. Crazy things that while technically possible, not very likely given all 3 of my horses are fairly sane and well-behaved.
And there's nothing wrong with you if you do need professional help. I don't want to be medicated for anxiety/depression, so I had to live inside it, or figure out what works. The more I push myself, the better I feel, and the less I have to push myself.
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 Take a Picture
Posts: 12841
| Sign up for a clinic that has a lot of saddle time. That is the best medicine. Don't worry about how anyone else is riding just have fun and pay attention to whomever is presenting. super confidence builder. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 408
| Attending a clinic the first weekend in May with the younger horse. I hope I don't make a fool out of myself and I can control my mind! |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 545
Location: Texas | love2ridepre - 2018-04-03 10:54 AM I am sorry you have to go through it as well. I had a worse wreck and I was in the hospital about to lose my kidneys when I was a teen. So I have been battling these demons for a very long time. It is not fun AT ALL! The other day I had a friend of mine telling me that I needed to step up to the plate, that if I wanted to do better I needed to do this and to do that, and no one could help me unless I wanted bad enough. I know she is 100% correct, and I DO WANT IT BAD ENOUGH! I work my tail off, I ride even when most people won't (hot, cold, in the rain) It's like once you put me in a new situation, I totally freeze and I forget all my training, and if my horse is a bit fresh or jumps a little, FORGET IT! it is like my mind switches to a different gear! Ughhh, I absolutely hate it!!!
I totally understand exactly what you mean. I do the same thing when I go to make a competition run, I freeze up and don't ride well at all. My husband tells me the same thing, he says it's been two years, you just have to do it. I want it REALLY bad too, but it's not just that easy. I hate you are dealing with it too. Know you're not alone and when I'm struggling, I'll think of you and push myself just like I know you will be doing too. It's going to come I know, or at least I tell myself that, but it just is soo frustrating. I get so mad at myself for it too. Lately I've been trying to take the pressure off myself and say just have fun. It's not easy for sure. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 408
| LOL, My husband says the same! He keeps telling me "you are a hell of a rider, you just need to ride your horse!" geeezzzz, I would have never thought about doing that!!! LOL |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 408
| I do try to ride almost every day. Lately due to the nasty weather that we are having it is being a challenge but even if it is raining (not pouring or storming) I will be on my horses.
I agree with working out, but with a full time job, the only spare time I have I dedicated to ride and oh yeah, I have to clean my house every so often LOL.
Eating better 100%!
I do have anxiety but most people do, right? I really don't want to use any medication if I can help it.
Thank you so much for sharing what helps you and I agree 100% with all you do
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 Dog Resuce Agent
Posts: 3459
Location: southeast Texas | Take the pressure off yourself. Go to play days, ride all the events, be a big kid.
If all you can handle is going slow, make it work for you.
Let the kids be an example of how to have fun. |
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | The more rides you get on that horse the better your confidence will get.. |
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Married to a Louie Lover
Posts: 3303
| Yep. I got tossed bad a couple years and narrowly avoided a very bad ending - took the impact on my head, mild concussion even with a helmet. Had I gotten a little more air and come down different the outcome would have been a lot different.
I trust my little horse completely, and generally in an arena will climb on anything. When I have to ride outside the arena due to weather, I have good days and bad days. For some reason my main man can be goofy and snorty and it doesn’t bother me, but if I’m on one of our rope horses I come unnerved really quickly.
Last week i was 2 miles from home on my husband’s heel horse ponying my barrel horse when an old rattle trap truck passed us - he slowed down, I have no issue with the truck - the horse I was on decided to spook, my horse decided to spook... we got calmed with no problems but I about cried the rest of the way home. |
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 Expert
Posts: 1631
Location: Somewhere around here | Yes I've been in the same position as you, and it truly sucks!! What has really helped me is listening to free Dre Baldwin (aka Dre All Day) podcasts and they're amazing! He has an online site but I use my podcast app CastBox.
ETA: the name of the whole podcast series in "Work On Your Game"
Edited by cecollins0811 2018-04-04 7:10 AM
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 408
| thank you for the suggestion! Ok, here is my issue with that, I really dislike those kind of events, I work with kids EVERY SINGLE DAY and I love my kids to the moono and back but when I am with my horses, I don't want to be around them that much LOL.
I don't mind going fast on my horse, and actually I have no issue once we are running, is prior to the run, in the warm up etc. I know , weird uh? |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 545
Location: Texas | love2ridepre - 2018-04-03 12:20 PM thank you for the suggestion! Ok, here is my issue with that, I really dislike those kind of events, I work with kids EVERY SINGLE DAY and I love my kids to the moono and back but when I am with my horses, I don't want to be around them that much LOL. I don't mind going fast on my horse, and actually I have no issue once we are running, is prior to the run, in the warm up etc. I know , weird uh?
Can we combine our issues, haha? Slow I'm fine, I freeze up when I run, not that going fast bothers me either, it's in the arena, in a competition. I guess because that's where I came off. I understand about not being around kids when you work with them daily. I'm going to try to go to a weekly race that's at the same arena near me each Monday night for a few weeks and I'm hoping that will build my confidence, being the same place, same setup, etc. Plus it's a small race so maybe I won't feel so much pressure. I know my mare is a rockstar and I need to just trust her. |
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Take a Picture
Posts: 12841
| love2ridepre - 2018-04-03 11:18 AM
Attending a clinic the first weekend in May with the younger horse. I hope I don't make a fool out of myself and I can control my mind!
You will not make a fool out of yourself. Everyone there is there for the same reason---to get help |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 408
| cecollins0811 - 2018-04-03 12:09 PM
Yes I've been in the same position as you, and it truly sucks!! What has really helped me is listening to free Dre Baldwin (aka Dre All Day) podcasts and they're amazing! He has an online site but I use my podcast app CastBox.
do you just search for the name of the potcast? |
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 Expert
Posts: 1273
Location: South Dakota | Yes! I am right there with you. And it seems like anytime I do get a little confidence, something happens to bring me back down. |
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 I hate cooking and cleaning
Posts: 3314
Location: Jersey Girl | I too am having low confidence issues. Due to health issues I was unable to ride for almost a year and a half. On top of that when I was able to start riding, I had a new horse to get used to to boot. I was able to gain a lot of confidence back just by not letting it dominate my thoughts. I was so focused on the fact I was lacking confidence that that was all I could think about. Once I made my mind up to stop allowing that to happen I was able to gain most of it back. Last month I entered my first barrel race after a 2 1/2 year break. I was a little nervous and I didn't really help my horse out any, but I did it and I figure it can only get better from here. I have a really nice horse that really like. She seemed to be just what I needed after I had to sell the initial horse I started back on. One last bit of advice, just ride as much as you can. Just do it, and don't overthink it.
Edited by fulltiltfilly 2018-04-03 1:47 PM
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