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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 1035
 
Location: TN | Home with a sick baby girl and got curious to know the horse community’s response to this question... how many years apart are your kids? And what have been the pros and cons to that age gap? |
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 Expert
Posts: 1395
Location: Missouri | 22 months between my 2. And I'm DONE. We may adopt later on but we are done having biological children.
Anyway. Pros....I kind of feel like I just ripped the bandaid off, I went thru a few years of hectic crazy and no sleep and got it over with (lol). And my oldest doesn't remember being an only child. She did get some time to herself but she wasn't so old that she remembers a better time before her brother....haha 
They're also really really close and I hope that stays that way. If one is playing with a friend, the other doesn't tend to feel left out bc there is a large age gap.
Cons.....holy crap those first 6 mos after having my 2nd were rough. My 1st was naturally still very needy, my 2nd had severe reflux and was labeled failure to thrive and it was just tough. I had tons of mom guilt and was constantly exhausted. Looking back I feel like I didnt get to enjoy anything about that stage and it makes me rather sad. Also. I feel like they fight way more than they should. Idk if this is a normal sibling thing or because they are so close. Idk.
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 705
Location: Weatherford, TX | I couldn't have kids, but have to hand it to mothers that have their children close. I can't even begin to imagine the exhaustion and the 'treadmill' of day in day out that you are dealing with having them 2 years apart. I completely get the reasoning; have them close together get it all over with and be done, they will be close as siblings, etc..
But, wow... those 2-3 years have to drive Moms crazy with lack of sleep, fighting and just keeping up with the day to day 'stuff'.
My 'hat' is off to you that you have done it. I'm a big 'wuss'.  
Edited by Gator Bug 2019-01-29 12:05 PM
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1035
Location: TN | MOGirl07 - 2019-01-29 11:24 AM
22 months between my 2. And I'm DONE. We may adopt later on but we are done having biological children.
Anyway. Pros....I kind of feel like I just ripped the bandaid off, I went thru a few years of hectic crazy and no sleep and got it over with (lol ). And my oldest doesn't remember being an only child. She did get some time to herself but she wasn't so old that she remembers a better time before her brother....haha
They're also really really close and I hope that stays that way. If one is playing with a friend, the other doesn't tend to feel left out bc there is a large age gap.
Cons.....holy crap those first 6 mos after having my 2nd were rough. My 1st was naturally still very needy, my 2nd had severe reflux and was labeled failure to thrive and it was just tough. I had tons of mom guilt and was constantly exhausted. Looking back I feel like I didnt get to enjoy anything about that stage and it makes me rather sad. Also. I feel like they fight way more than they should. Idk if this is a normal sibling thing or because they are so close. Idk.
That sounds so stressful! You are tough mama! I’m sure it will be nice for them to grow up close though since they’ll be into similar things. |
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Veteran
Posts: 225
Location: Montgomery TX | OK - so my boys are 3 years apart - They were total BFF's until about the teenage years - about the time my older one started driving and getting a little more independent and the younger one staying at home but wanting to go with the older kids. When they both were able to drive and have their own vehicles, things got much better! Now at 21 and 18 they have passed that stage and are back to being great friends!
In 2017 I re-married a wonderful man with 2 daughters - they are currently 4 and 11 - OMG they fight like cats and dogs - I don't know if it cuz they are girls or if it is the age difference or what. The older girl wants to boss the younger ALL the time - and the younger one just wants to love her sister. I have no idea how this is going to play out....
But on a good note - the girls adore their older brothers and the vise versa - so there is that!!
Edited to add - my nieces and cousins have children the same age as our girls so it results in lots of sleep overs - I honestly do not know how people have large families close together. It wears me out, but i'm not as young as I once was either - that's what people keep telling me. LOL
Edited by bten 2019-01-29 12:17 PM
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Expert
Posts: 1395
Location: Missouri | Thanks, KatieMac and Gator Bug. :) although I assure you I'm a hot mess much of the time at this stage of having a 2.5 and 4 yr old lol!
Idk how I got thru those first 6 mos after having my second. It was the perfect storm and a really hard time for our entire family, but we got through it. Did I mention we had a situation with our house that required a gut job of our kitchen dining and living rooms? Yeah that was fun. Total surprise. We went to replace floors and cabinets and discovered black mold and a myriad of other issues so we just decided to gut it. We didnt have a lot of extra money so my husband did 95% of the work and we moved in with my mom for a bit, me and the kids. My husband would get off work, come visit us as moms house for a bit and have dinner, and go work on the house til 2am and just sleep there. Worst 6 weeks ever. I will never remodel again! Lol! |
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| 4.5 year between first two and there will be 6 years from second and third. I love the bigger age gaps. Each kid had time to learn to be their own person and are beyond a certain stage before the next one is interested in the same things. My kids hardly ever fight, they are great friends and take care of each other. It's hard to start over again but it works well for us. |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 357
| My two kiddos are 25 months apart exactly. Although I didn’t plan them to be that close, I wouldn’t change it now. I have a 6 year old boy and 4 year old daughter, they are best friends and would be lost without each other. I was a little upset when I become pregnant with my second since I just got back to riding again consistently. So I decided to take another two year break..I decided two is the perfect number for me especiall since they were both easy babies and I probably won’t get that lucky a third time.
I am the youngest child in my family ( my sister is 10 years older and brother 8 years older). Although I couldn’t image starting back over after 8 years little my parents did, I’m very close with my siblings and always have been. I was like an only child through my high school years, |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1035
Location: TN | Oh my goodness MOgirl if you can survive that with young babies you can survive anything! |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 705
Location: Weatherford, TX | KatieMac88 - 2019-01-29 2:27 PM Oh my goodness MOgirl if you can survive that with young babies you can survive anything!
No kidding...that is just nuts! |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1035
Location: TN | bbennington - 2019-01-29 1:15 PM
My two kiddos are 25 months apart exactly. Although I didn’t plan them to be that close, I wouldn’t change it now. I have a 6 year old boy and 4 year old daughter, they are best friends and would be lost without each other. I was a little upset when I become pregnant with my second since I just got back to riding again consistently. So I decided to take another two year break..I decided two is the perfect number for me especiall since they were both easy babies and I probably won’t get that lucky a third time.
I am the youngest child in my family ( my sister is 10 years older and brother 8 years older). Although I couldn’t image starting back over after 8 years little my parents did, I’m very close with my siblings and always have been. I was like an only child through my high school years,
Two sounds like a good number! My two siblings and I are each spaced 2 years apart and we’re all close but the dynamic between my sister and I (2 years apart) and my sister and brother (2 years apart) is definitely a closer/different bond than my brother and I (4 years apart). |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1035
Location: TN | bscanchaser - 2019-01-29 1:07 PM
4.5 year between first two and there will be 6 years from second and third. I love the bigger age gaps. Each kid had time to learn to be their own person and are beyond a certain stage before the next one is interested in the same things. My kids hardly ever fight, they are great friends and take care of each other. It's hard to start over again but it works well for us.
This is why my husband and I are kind of leaning towards waiting a longer time before having a second baby. We want our little girl to get lots of special attention but eventually would love for her to have a sibling. That’s good to know your kids are close despite the age gaps. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1035
Location: TN | bten - 2019-01-29 12:12 PM
OK - so my boys are 3 years apart - They were total BFF's until about the teenage years - about the time my older one started driving and getting a little more independent and the younger one staying at home but wanting to go with the older kids. When they both were able to drive and have their own vehicles, things got much better! Now at 21 and 18 they have passed that stage and are back to being great friends!
In 2017 I re-married a wonderful man with 2 daughters - they are currently 4 and 11 - OMG they fight like cats and dogs - I don't know if it cuz they are girls or if it is the age difference or what. The older girl wants to boss the younger ALL the time - and the younger one just wants to love her sister. I have no idea how this is going to play out....
But on a good note - the girls adore their older brothers and the vise versa - so there is that!!
Edited to add - my nieces and cousins have children the same age as our girls so it results in lots of sleep overs - I honestly do not know how people have large families close together. It wears me out, but i'm not as young as I once was either - that's what people keep telling me. LOL
Interesting... the fighting and not seeing eye to eye is definitely a concern I have about spacing them out farther. |
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 Zeal Queen
Posts: 3826
Location: TEXAS | 19 months!! Both boys!! Love it they have a best friend!! |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 312
Location: KS | Thanks for the hand. :)
My first 2 are 13 months apart, due with my third in April which will make my 2nd and 3rd 18 months apart, so will have 3 under 3. It is hard on mind and body but so far have no regrets for it happening this way. When we made the decision to start our family after 7 years of marriage, I said I would have them until I KNOW im done, so we will see what God has in store for us. I feel so blessed to get them this way as I know woman out there who try so hard for one.
I am also blessed to get to stay home with my children as we farm/ranch and I am self employed from home. I would not have them this way if I had to work through their childhood. I have to hand it to the working away from home moms because I tried and couldn't do it.
There's days when its overwhelming or I need someone besides a toddler to talk to but so far its all so rewarding. This is truly what life is about. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1035
Location: TN | Peewee212 - 2019-01-29 4:40 PM
Thanks for the hand. :)
My first 2 are 13 months apart, due with my third in April which will make my 2nd and 3rd 18 months apart, so will have 3 under 3. It is hard on mind and body but so far have no regrets for it happening this way. When we made the decision to start our family after 7 years of marriage, I said I would have them until I KNOW im done, so we will see what God has in store for us. I feel so blessed to get them this way as I know woman out there who try so hard for one.
I am also blessed to get to stay home with my children as we farm/ranch and I am self employed from home. I would not have them this way if I had to work through their childhood. I have to hand it to the working away from home moms because I tried and couldn't do it.
There's days when its overwhelming or I need someone besides a toddler to talk to but so far its all so rewarding. This is truly what life is about.
That’s awesome! You’re a strong mama! I wish I could stay home with my girl. I have to work for us to make ends meet so daycare cost is definitely playing into our decision when planning for a 2nd in the future. Treasure that time with your sweet babies! |
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Expert
Posts: 1395
Location: Missouri | Gator Bug - 2019-01-29 2:32 PM
KatieMac88 - 2019-01-29 2:27 PM Oh my goodness MOgirl if you can survive that with young babies you can survive anything!
No kidding...that is just nuts!
I survived.....can't say how sane I was after all that but....I did make it out alive!  |
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 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| 4 kids, 13 months between 1 and 2, 18 months between 2 and 3, 15 months between 3 and 4 - tubes tied after #4 with no regrets! Pros, everyone played together well, built in friends, all on the same page on vacations, no one too little too participate when they were older. No cons, I loved having them close together. My 3 girls all got to high school rodeo together, #4 was a boy and he does not ride. My kids are ages 26-30 and all very close. |
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Expert
Posts: 1395
Location: Missouri | KatieMac88 - 2019-01-29 5:02 PM
Peewee212 - 2019-01-29 4:40 PM
Thanks for the hand. :)
My first 2 are 13 months apart, due with my third in April which will make my 2nd and 3rd 18 months apart, so will have 3 under 3. It is hard on mind and body but so far have no regrets for it happening this way. When we made the decision to start our family after 7 years of marriage, I said I would have them until I KNOW im done, so we will see what God has in store for us. I feel so blessed to get them this way as I know woman out there who try so hard for one.
I am also blessed to get to stay home with my children as we farm/ranch and I am self employed from home. I would not have them this way if I had to work through their childhood. I have to hand it to the working away from home moms because I tried and couldn't do it.
There's days when its overwhelming or I need someone besides a toddler to talk to but so far its all so rewarding. This is truly what life is about.
That’s awesome! You’re a strong mama! I wish I could stay home with my girl. I have to work for us to make ends meet so daycare cost is definitely playing into our decision when planning for a 2nd in the future. Treasure that time with your sweet babies!
Kudos to both of you! Peewee....I'm seriously so impressed that you're able to work at home and get things done with two littles!
And katie....idk how full time working mamas do it. I really dont. I work only 20 hrs a week and can barely keep up with housework and everything else. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1035
Location: TN | MOGirl07 - 2019-01-29 7:04 PM
KatieMac88 - 2019-01-29 5:02 PM
Peewee212 - 2019-01-29 4:40 PM
Thanks for the hand. :)
My first 2 are 13 months apart, due with my third in April which will make my 2nd and 3rd 18 months apart, so will have 3 under 3. It is hard on mind and body but so far have no regrets for it happening this way. When we made the decision to start our family after 7 years of marriage, I said I would have them until I KNOW im done, so we will see what God has in store for us. I feel so blessed to get them this way as I know woman out there who try so hard for one.
I am also blessed to get to stay home with my children as we farm/ranch and I am self employed from home. I would not have them this way if I had to work through their childhood. I have to hand it to the working away from home moms because I tried and couldn't do it.
There's days when its overwhelming or I need someone besides a toddler to talk to but so far its all so rewarding. This is truly what life is about.
That’s awesome! You’re a strong mama! I wish I could stay home with my girl. I have to work for us to make ends meet so daycare cost is definitely playing into our decision when planning for a 2nd in the future. Treasure that time with your sweet babies!
Kudos to both of you! Peewee....I'm seriously so impressed that you're able to work at home and get things done with two littles!
And katie....idk how full time working mamas do it. I really dont. I work only 20 hrs a week and can barely keep up with housework and everything else.
MOgirl, it’s so hard! I teach so thankfully I get weekends, holidays, and get off work at 3 but still there is never enough time in the day to get everything done. Most of the time I’d rather play with my little girl than clean the house anyway lol. |
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