I have a friend that boards at the barn I do. We are fairly close friends as well.  She sold her horse trailer last year. I'm going to a 3 day race in June and she is going as well. I told her I could haul her horse for her to the race. I had planned on bring my boyfriend. I texted her yesterday asking her what the sleeping arrnagements will be. She said she would sleep in my bed with me...I have a LQ trailer, but no slide out. It's small. I just feel very torn. I was hoping she could just get a hotel room..but she's not planning on bringing her vehicle. I don't really know what to do..the couch in my LQ is not long enough to sleep on. 

She also says we can split fuel. It's my truck, my trailer..is splitting fuel 50/50 fair? 

I've never hauled someone to a weekend race before so I just don't know etiquette. I'm feeling frustrated already. 

This is so awkward already.

First, how was she planning to go if she didn't have a trailer? Second, if you invited her to haul with you that's her and her horse - not just her horse. So it would make sense to me that she would stay with you in the trailer. If you were planning to bring your boyfriend and had no room for her then you had no room for her horse either.  That's my opinion.  Total different deal if you expected her to drive herself and get a room - that should have been the convo straight away.  An option, but not a normal one. 

If you are friends, make it a fun girls weekend. Or scrap the whole thing. Haul together or don't because this is just awkward. 

and if you both ride and haul together with a horse a piece split fuel 50/50 and make sure you both keep things picked up and running smooth for the weekend. :) 

Yeah, I should have been more clear to her in the beginning. I don't feel comfortable sleeping in a bed with her. I honestly thought she would just drive her truck down behind me. It's ony 2 hrs away.

Trying to figure this all out. I agree, I need to be more upfront. 

As someone who has hitched multiple rides: Just be clear. Say you didn't really think through this and just assumed that you would only be hauling her horse.  Or kick the BF out. Also I've always only been requested to split fuel 50/50 both when I hauled someone and when someone hauled me. Typically, if I'm the hitchhiker, I'll buy a meal or two, make sure I'm cleaning out the trailer and doing everything I can to help my hauler. 

Having a hauling buddy can either be the absolute most fun you've ever had going to a barrel race or no fun and awkward. You need to be clear and up front with expectations. Even among the best of friends, this is crucial. It's not too late to clear things up. If I was in her shoes, I would have also assumed that I'd have been sleeping in your LQ as well. Apologize for the confusion and not being clear or just boot the BF. Those are your only options. Better take care of it sooner than later. 

I quit taking friends because I always got so used and it never went well. I started off by splitting fuel 50/50. But no one ever helps clean up after themselves, or their horses, or helps make food. So finally I got to doing split everything 50/50 (fuel/food/electric/generator gas.) And you better tidy up after yourself in the LQ, my truck, and the horse part of the trailer. If you have a dog I will charge you extra. It has been the start of the downfall of many friendships in the past. If electric is paid in a pre entry and you bail on me you're not getting your half back either. As someone who's been on the downward spiral of it multiple times I will say clear it all up asap. Tell her that your BF was planning to go too so that leaves her either in the fetal position on the couch, blankets on the floor, or backseat of your truck. Unless she wants to drive separately & get a hotel. We've done all of the above before, I've gotten 5 people & 3 dogs in my 6' LQ before, but we are only ever in there to sleep and change clothes. We don't just hang out in there. But definitely be clear now so that she has time to figure out where to sleep or to give you notice if she's just not going to go. Or like the others said make it a girls weekend, but make sure you're clear in the future if she hauls with you again. 

Yes the confusion is definitely my fault! I've never done this before for an overnight show. 

If she sold her horse trailer last year how has she been getting to races all this time?  Yes it should have been cleared up during the initial offer about the boyfriend etc but I do feel some of the onus should be put on her considering she is the one getting a ride.  It seems like she made an assumption that you would be ok with her sleeping in the same bed with you.  You arent roughstock riders after all.

I would do this as a conversation instead of a text which can make it even more awkward.  I would open the convo with "I was planning on bringing my boyfriend.  I apologize if I didnt mention that up front.  You are welcome to sleep on the couch but if you would rather get a hotel I totally understand.  The couch is kind of small but Im happy to have you there if that works.  Maybe we could preplan some meals for the weekend too and you could bring some and Ill bring some so we dont have to be going out all the time."  

That may open the door for her to offer to stay in the hotel and also to feel like she is also responsible for some of the food and other expenses.  I have had someone haul my horse before but Ive always stayed in a hotel and brought food, drinks, treats and paid half the fuel.

Wear & tear on your vehicle and trailer--the hauling partner should either pay for all of the fuel, or split fuel if they are paying for your entry &/or diner. 

Just clarify with her that your boyfriend is going with you, and that she can ride with you'll, however the bed is spoken for. 

I always thought the "wear and tear" on the vehicle was a bunch of crap ..... you are going anyway .... I must have hauled a million miles with lots of different people (barrel racers, calf ropers, team ropers, steer wrestlers, team penners, etc, etc, etc) and I never charged anything more than half the gas.....and yes, to the OP, you havev learned a good lesson ..... now you have to have a difficult discussion. 

When I hitch a ride or someone hitches a ride with me, the person hitching usually pays the for fuel (within reason, we don't buy a tank of gas just to go 30 miles down the road) usually on short distances we just buy the other one a meal.  Long distances we buy a full tank.  If it is an overnight barrel race we discuss arrangements ahead of time, sleeping arrangements and travel expenses.  I've had some hitches that were a blast, so respectful and I would haul with them anywhere, but I have had one that was a nightmare and will never ever do that one again.  We hauled to a 3 day barrel races, descided to get a hotel room to b e more comfortable, she invited a friend of hers and the girls boyfriend to stay in the hotel with us, never said a word to me and they didn't pay for anyting.  Rode in my truck everywhere and never offered to pay for fuel or buy a meal.  My advise, is make sure everything is covered before you haul with someone.  

Boy am I feeling lucky with my hauling partners. I usually go with the same two people but we've been friends for 15 years. We'll either swtich off who drives their truck and trailer or just split everything evenly. It's nice to have the company and I'd be going either way so a little help with fuel is nice. That said, my friends are super respectful and pay for meals/extra things. 

Definitely should have been clarified from the beginning that she is or isn't staying with you - did she know you don't have a separate sleeping spot aside from the bed? Good luck, sounds like it's a little bit of a sticky situation. 

I am so, so incredibly picky about who I let haul with me. Really it's only about 2-3 people because I have been burned too many times either by 1) expenses or 2) sloppy people. . . Or when I get up in the morning to go exhibition and come back to the trailer and it's 9:30am and you still haven't gotten out of bed to go feed your horse. Oh and when dogs come along but don't have permission to come along.

If you offer to haul a horse to a 3 day race, I think it is an obvious assumption that you are also offering to house that person as well. I have a husband and 2 kids, so there have been times I have been able to haul a horse but I make it very clear to them that they will need to making 'living' arrangements with someone else. 50/50 is fair for fuel and such - you aren't going out of your way to pick her up. A few days before I always send out a text asking what they are thinking for meals so we can meal plan/share. That always seems to work out good!

I think you have to commit to taking her at this point - it's not worth losing a friend over. 

I hauled with a group to rodeos for quite a few years. Mainly it was one specific friend, but part of the time it was 3 of us girls. It is difficult to find a group that you love hauling with and can all get along. We mostly took my rig because it was big enough for us all. We generally split fuel fairly evenly and each contributed to an ice chest full of drinks, easy eats, and snacks. We had a blast back then, even before having fancy living quarters trailers. We used lots of RV park showers, or found friends with campers for cleaning up! When it was just my bestie and I, we sometimes found a steer wrestler who just needed a ride from one stop to another to help buy fuel. We would occasionally stop for a decent meal, but mostly survived out of our ice chest. Oh, and we almost always had my corgi with us! Although little, she was tough and could scare people away! I sure miss those fun times!

Nowadays, it's pretty much my Mom and I going to barrel races. Occasionally my hubby comes along. We take turns filling up the truck and stocking the LQ with supplies, food, generator fuel!

WOW. I am so thankful for the hauling partners I've had. Now I've had some doozies but for the most part, Ive been blessed with great people.

The WORST one by far was someone who I thought was a "friend". Turned out to be a backstabbing USER. We hauled regularly for about 5 months. We would alternate whose rig we took. Sometimes it was hers, other times it was ours. I never asked her for fuel $ but always offered to pay when she hauled. She usually turned it down. So I would buy her dinner. The WORST thing about hauling with her was the attitude. If she had a bad run, forget a pleasant drive home. And get ready to feel like crap if you had a good one.... It was toxic and I see that now. But I was new to the area and didnt know anyone. She called me one night and told me I had 1 week to get my horses off her property. When I asked why, not paying for fuel was one of the reasons she gave. Along with not paying board. But the kicker, I offered money EVERY MONTH that she refused. I paid 1/2 of the water bill even though my horses drank out of the pond more than anything. My husband cut her 20 acre pasture several times and never even asked for fuel money or reimbursement AND her kid had my small bp trailer with her at college 3 hrs away. I thought I was going above and beyond. Guess not. In the end I am alot better off without her.

I will usually haul with anyone who has room. My horse is easy. I cannot stand clutter so I keep things cleaned up. I had 2 friends that I hauled with regularly when we lived back home. Both loved me cuz I am a morning person and would have horses taken care of before they got up. We just meshed and worked well together. I miss them!!!!
Theres 1 person up here that I enjoy hauling with. We get along and our horses get along.

Just be up front with the friend about everything. Dont let anything fester or it will ruin the friendship. If at the end of the day you really dont enjoy hauling with her, tell her it isnt going to work out. You may lose a friend though.... 

Just tell her you need to get your freak on and she needs to get a room 

Because it's the easiest delima to address... yes, splitting fuel 50/50 is quite fair.  If you were going anyways and offered to haul her horse for her, you're getting a 50% discount on the cost to get to the race.  That sounds pretty dang fair to me.  As for the rest... you need to just be blunt and straight forward with her.  It sounds to me like she has been the one that's been straight forward about what she expects and you're letting her push you over, or maybe you're just not being as up front with her as you should.  If I had a friend that offered to haul my horse to a race for me, I would automatically assume that would mean they are hauling myself to the race as well and that my sleeping arrangements would depend on them.  If you aren't comfortable with her staying inside your LQ with you, which I find slightly odd especially if you invited her and her horse to go with you, then tell her that.  If she's truly your friend she will understand.  If she get's butthurt, fine.  You don't have to haul her horse or her and the situation is handled.  Or like another stated, ditch the boyfriend and have a girls weekend.  Boyfriends are completely overrated anyways.  Explain the situation to him and if he's worth a darn, he'll understand.  If not, ditch him for real too.

I don't care if you're the biggest slob in the world and leave a whole piece of toast in my bed; if you let your "bad" run affect you for more than 20 minutes, I don't even want to be friends with you. Literally the worst people to haul with are the ones who you have to walk on eggshells around just because their horse stepped off the 2nd barrel! 

Me too! Sure you might have a little extra weight in the trailer, but the miles on the tires are the same, and you were making them anyway. And if you didn't have fuel $ help from the hitchhiker, you'd have paid all the gas and still been on the hook when it comes time for maintenance.

If the hitch-hiker didn't get a ride how much would they have had to spend to get to said show?  Splitting costs is fair at the very least. 

I had a person travel with me for three seasons. I enjoyed having someone to talk to during long drives somewhat and sometimes, but sometimes she drove her own vehicle to the shows so I didn't even have that. She didn't drive (haul) well so she couldn't take any wheel time. And she was one who stressed about every da** little thing you could think of. And if you dared to offer any advice would get ****y and argumentative.

I decided that no small amount of dollars was worth all the aggravation and stress she caused at the shows.  

I'd have to agree with most everyone else. Just be straight with her, especially if shes a good friend. Tell her your boyfriend is coming to, so she can either crash on the floor or the tiny couch (both of which i've done my share of when hauling with friends). Or, if its something yall want, you can always split a hotel room with two beds and have more room for everyone. I have to agree though, when you offer to haul someone its pretty much assumed a 50/50 split of costs (fuel/generator gas/food/hotel/etc.) and that yall will be staying together.
Don't overthink it though, yall are friends. Back in my college rodeo days, it was pretty much the norm to take someones six horse trailer, shove eight horses in it, have the truck packed full and a few people stuffed in the LQ. We'd all split gas equally (even the ones riding with no horses) and get a hotel room. There were many rodeos four of us might book a hotel room, but by the end of the weekend there were eight people, five dogs and a goat in that hotel room. We never really cared, just told whoever came in to pitch in if they were staying the night. We were all broke and having fun back then lol. Now days, I mostly just haul with really close friends. Because I have a bigger trailer, one of my best friends will just swing by the house after work and take my truck and trailer home with her, load up her three horses and two kiddos and then meet me back at my house, load up mine and off we go. I don't really worry about splitting fuel, as its a regular thing for us so she'll fill my truck up at least every other time if not more before bringing it back.