How long should things take? We have cattle and custody to bicker over, but it's been a month and I feel nothing is moving on either side. He also has criminal charges to deal with, that will greatly affect the custody. But at what point do we get to the "I want this, you get that" and we move on with life? We have to either sell cattle or he can buy me out but nothing moves forward towards that. I'm stuck on HIS family ranch until cattle sell and he can't be here for 6 months due to a protective order. His dad needs help so I can't imagine why things are dragging on. Any insight is appreciated. 

Sounds sticky....all I can say is find a good lawyer even if just for a consult.  Preferably one with ag experience.

We both have what seem to be good attorneys,  just do much back and forth and nothing getting done. Maybe that's normal with all the initial paperwork?

Every state is different. I just got the call yesterday that my sister is finally done.  She moved her children out late last october and her and her husband have split the house every third week since.  its been a horrible situation but it is finally done.  10 months later.

There was couple here that the man had criminal charges & those had to be settled before the court would start to make a settlement on the divorce. I'm sure that probably depends on what the charges are.

I'm sorry you are having to go through this.

My friend just got divorced and his took forever.  His was financial based because there were lots of details that the lawyers had to figure out. 

It will take about a year before everything is all said and done depending on what state you are in that is about average. The shortest I have ever heard was around 90 days but they just agreed on everything, no children and had nothing to bicker over.They both just wanted out asap. The more you have to fight for/over the longer it will take. Children also complicate things.

Prayers to you

No advice...but sorry that you are going through this.

I have been through divorce, very best wishes, and warm thoughts your way.

My sister has been working on her divorce coming on 7 years. Its been ridiculous!

Prayers for you.

My easy divorce took a couple of years because my ex wouldn't sign. 

I have 3 friends who all just divorced - they all took over a year. 

Prayers and hugs for you

I knew a lady that lived on the family ranch too and the divorce was really ugly, it took like 3 years before it got final.. She would not sign either, she was the type that wanted just about everything, their boys were just about grown then, but dang it just dragged on and on.. There was no custody to fight over it was just land and money that she wanted. Since she didnt sign and things didnt get settled the first year the lawyers then just took their time..

I would just get him to buy you out on the cattle, so that you can get this rolling, no since in waiting till cattle are sold since winter is getting close.. 

Good luck Divorce is just ugly period. 

The land is in his dad's name so no issues there. After 20 years and2 kids, it's not like I married him to clean him out. I just want my half of the cattle and the breeding horses...for the horses I am willing to walk away from several thousand dollars worth of tools, a nice camper and a back hoe.  I was also willing to leave a cattle pot but he's been fairly nasty so I'm changing my mind there. I figure he has a house, utilities paid and no charge for hay. I'm starting over at 40 yrs old. Our vehicles are all older and worn out and not worth fighting over.  I guess I'm confused why the lawyers can't force him to buy me out or sell so I can move and at least he can live on the ranch. Our credit is excellent so no reason he can't get a loan. And no debt. I just feel nothing is moving along. I have a protection order due to domestic battery so custody should be pretty cut and dry...unless they are waiting for his criminal case to finish before the divorce ???? I certainly hope not. 

It is going to take a long time. Period. He cant just "buy you out" and send you on your way, especially with children and a pending battery case against him. His lawyer will not allow the divorce to go to court until that case is finished, period. Delay delay delay is what lawyers do, they want those hours. Get the battery case overwith, then yall can fight over the stuff. The cattle, horses, tools, everything you two own will come into consideration, I promise you that even if it is "old" or "not worth fighting over" it will be fought over, mark my words. You said he's already being nasty, you just wait. I'm really sorry you're having to go through this. Get a good support system (dont forget us BBs, we are always here for you) but I'd settle in for the long haul if you want a fair shake. Fair means different things to different people, especially when they are mad. Keep your chin up and ducks in a row on your end and you will be fine. Be patient though, this will take time and this too shall pass. Many happy thoughts and prayers coming your way. 

I can tell that you are not the type thats into cleaning him out, the lady that I knew {Holy Cow} she was mean and nasty and this mans family is worth millons and she sure was not going anywhere untill she got what she wanted, lol and in the end she got some of it but just to get her out. But she stood her ground and it got her comfortable by living means. I think the lawyers like this draging out of things they make more money this way.. 

He really should just buy you out, but his lawyer I'm betting is getting him to hold out on you.. You hold your ground because you deserve what is yours.. talk to you lawyer and tell him/her what you have tolded us and your concerns. My concerns with winter coming on they may make you start paying for feed and hay for the livestock and that will be more money out of your pocket.. If hes being nasty be nasty right back. Hugs ")

I went thru a nasty divorce after almost 18 years together--took 6 months to settle with a child, financial situations, and a business involved.  However, to protect Chandler, I agreed to whatever Chris wanted as long as I got sole custody and my son was safe.  With what's going on in my life right now, your situation touches me deeply and I am sending prayers and the best thoughts possible to you and your children.   If you ever need an ear or shoulder. . . 

Do you plan on getting full custody?Do you think he will just give his kids up?I do believe you are in this for the long haul, its gonna be a while.

Sit down with your lawyer and lay out what you want and expect -- and let the attorney know you want it to move. Now. 

He has rarely had the boys on his own and our oldest is 12. I however can count on my fingers the nights I have been away from them. Less than 10 since either was born. Remember we lived on a ranch, and if I needed to be gone for anything, I had to take them. I quit my cushy job as a Postmaster because my oldest was in daycare and when I had my youngest it would actually cost me to work...between fuel and daycare. All because he wouldn't watch them. I found a list of reasons a parent won't get 50 50. He has 6 of the 10 reasons. I think if we can get his lawyer convinced it's a losing battle, he'll give up. He has very little try in him. And has lost a lot of friends and family over his bad choices. He contacted several lawyers and several wouldn't accept his case. Including the one I have.

Have mercy that list is so similar to what my divorce entailed. . .