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boon
Posts: 1
| Hiii!
So I can't really vent to my friends as they think I'm crazy and wrong so here we go.
I have the best mare ever. I wouldn't trade her for anything but recently I'm starting to feel pretty hopeless. I've owned her for three years and competed for 2. She just turned 9. We started with local gaming shows and the first year was great. Constantly improving and felt fun. The last year I think we've had more unsuccessful runs then successful. We do a bit of everything to keep her brain sound so cows trails English etc. So, now to the problem. My mare is extremely athletic,gritty and smart but also extremely independent and stubborn. It's her way or no way. She lives for going fast and competing. So it started with gate issues about one year ago. At first it was only one arena and then all off them but only after like two or three events. Had her vetted,chiroed etc. Everything came back fine. Then we did a few 3 event days instead of five like we had previously and she was fine. Then to five events and she was fine. All was good for a few months and then something new arose. Like trying to not cross over between first and second,blowing third, etc. But it was never a consistent issue and when we thought we fixed it, a few months later it would start again. I've gone to lessons and clinics and of course she never presents these issues. I know she is hard to ride and she is strong, opinionated and fast. She is the biggest mommas girl so she refuses to do anything when someone else rides her. I've been told many times she has all this potential and I just don't feel like I can get it out of her at this point. I don't feel like it's fair to her to waste away because I can't fix the issues or ride her properly. It's making me feel like a terrible horse owner and very selfish. Do I give up and either sell or switch paths for a bit? Is it normal to have such long spells of terribleness? I never see my friends have such long spells. Do I just push through? Send her to a trainer? Go back to trotting patterns? So any advice or thoughts on this? Is it normal/okay to feel this way? Thanks P.S I hope this all made sense. I am writing this full of thoughts about the matter and might have blabbered or missed details. | |
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 Take a Picture
Posts: 12841
   
| I think it is time to take her back to the vet. I think she is trying to tell you something. | |
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  Keeper of the King Snake
Posts: 7622
Location: Dubach, LA | Do you know how she's bred? Some just don't want to do this. Some enjoy barrels or poles, but get sick of multiple speed events in a day. Get a pro/trainer to ride her. I promise you they CAN. A professional could spot a hole in her training or label her an assh*le of opportunity, or point you to a good performance vet. | |
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 Born not Made
Posts: 2937
Location: North Dakota | Broke_ass_horsegirl - 2025-08-03 3:51 AM
Hiii!
So I can't really vent to my friends as they think I'm crazy and wrong so here we go.
I have the best mare ever. I wouldn't trade her for anything but recently I'm starting to feel pretty hopeless. I've owned her for three years and competed for 2. She just turned 9. We started with local gaming shows and the first year was great. Constantly improving and felt fun. The last year I think we've had more unsuccessful runs then successful. We do a bit of everything to keep her brain sound so cows trails English etc.
So, now to the problem. My mare is extremely athletic,gritty and smart but also extremely independent and stubborn. It's her way or no way. She lives for going fast and competing. So it started with gate issues about one year ago. At first it was only one arena and then all off them but only after like two or three events. Had her vetted,chiroed etc. Everything came back fine. Then we did a few 3 event days instead of five like we had previously and she was fine. Then to five events and she was fine. All was good for a few months and then something new arose. Like trying to not cross over between first and second,blowing third, etc. But it was never a consistent issue and when we thought we fixed it, a few months later it would start again. I've gone to lessons and clinics and of course she never presents these issues. I know she is hard to ride and she is strong, opinionated and fast. She is the biggest mommas girl so she refuses to do anything when someone else rides her. I've been told many times she has all this potential and I just don't feel like I can get it out of her at this point. I don't feel like it's fair to her to waste away because I can't fix the issues or ride her properly. It's making me feel like a terrible horse owner and very selfish.
Do I give up and either sell or switch paths for a bit? Is it normal to have such long spells of terribleness? I never see my friends have such long spells. Do I just push through? Send her to a trainer? Go back to trotting patterns?
So any advice or thoughts on this? Is it normal/okay to feel this way?
Thanks
P.S I hope this all made sense. I am writing this full of thoughts about the matter and might have blabbered or missed details.
Either she is sore ..... or you are causing the problems. For example, one of my mares I run right now, if my hand gets too high, or even if I use my hand too much during the turn, she will brace, her head will come up, and that'll slow us down. If I do what I am supposed to do, which is sit in my seat, put my hand down, and LEAVE HER ALONE and let her work, all is good. Or she is still sore and the vet(s) are missing something. Or a combination of both. Care to post a video? | |
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Member
Posts: 16
| Broke_ass_horsegirl - 2025-08-03 3:51 AM
Hiii!
So I can't really vent to my friends as they think I'm crazy and wrong so here we go.
I have the best mare ever. I wouldn't trade her for anything but recently I'm starting to feel pretty hopeless. I've owned her for three years and competed for 2. She just turned 9. We started with local gaming shows and the first year was great. Constantly improving and felt fun. The last year I think we've had more unsuccessful runs then successful. We do a bit of everything to keep her brain sound so cows trails English etc.
So, now to the problem. My mare is extremely athletic,gritty and smart but also extremely independent and stubborn. It's her way or no way. She lives for going fast and competing. So it started with gate issues about one year ago. At first it was only one arena and then all off them but only after like two or three events. Had her vetted,chiroed etc. Everything came back fine. Then we did a few 3 event days instead of five like we had previously and she was fine. Then to five events and she was fine. All was good for a few months and then something new arose. Like trying to not cross over between first and second,blowing third, etc. But it was never a consistent issue and when we thought we fixed it, a few months later it would start again. I've gone to lessons and clinics and of course she never presents these issues. I know she is hard to ride and she is strong, opinionated and fast. She is the biggest mommas girl so she refuses to do anything when someone else rides her. I've been told many times she has all this potential and I just don't feel like I can get it out of her at this point. I don't feel like it's fair to her to waste away because I can't fix the issues or ride her properly. It's making me feel like a terrible horse owner and very selfish.
Do I give up and either sell or switch paths for a bit? Is it normal to have such long spells of terribleness? I never see my friends have such long spells. Do I just push through? Send her to a trainer? Go back to trotting patterns?
So any advice or thoughts on this? Is it normal/okay to feel this way?
Thanks
P.S I hope this all made sense. I am writing this full of thoughts about the matter and might have blabbered or missed details.
I get how frustrating this feels, and I want you to know it’s completely normal. Horses go through phases like this, especially strong, independent ones like yours. Long spells of inconsistency happen even to experienced riders. Sending her to a trainer for a short period can give you perspective and help reset habits, but you don’t have to give up on her yourself. Sometimes taking a step back, simplifying patterns, or just letting her have some fun without pressure helps her confidence and yours. | |
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 Ms Bling Bling Sleeze Kitty
Posts: 20915
Location: LouLouVille, OK | streakysox - 2025-08-04 2:01 AM
I think it is time to take her back to the vet. I think she is trying to tell you something.
Agree... and I would rule out bleeder. | |
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 Sock eating dog owner
Posts: 4557
Location: Where the pavement ends and the West begins Utah | You've done everything to fix your horse ? Yes, shoes, saddle, conditioning, teeth worm, chiropractor saddle pad all of this ?? Did you hose off after work out cool out , apply linement for soreness. A day off for rest.? You've done all of this the only thing left to fix is you. You make the teem. Calm down and re think what you need to change about you. Your hands, your check point , are you sitting deep, are you pushing on the horn, are your curling your legs ? Maybe it you that needs the change. Don't over think this . Slow down recharge. | |
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