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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 425
 
Location: California | 3canstorun - 2015-10-30 7:46 AM
If I am a repeat - sorry - but has no one mentioned that a 25 year old man was drunk with two teenagers? And, handling a horse? That to me is a red flag........................................
Sorry, life is to short to be with someone like that - but, that is my opinion.
He wasn't drunk with the two girls. The one drunk episode was a different time with a different horse. He knows not to touch that horse now & he now understands no one gets to ride the other. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 425
Location: California | livinonlove&horses - 2015-10-29 4:57 PM komet. - 2015-10-29 12:58 PM It sounds to me like your fiance is sucking up to two teenage girls. That's what I'm trying to figure out? Forget the fact he let them ride your horse. Bigger question:
why hey the hell was two teenage girls at your house with your fiancé??
that says it all right there
The girls are apparently his mom's best friends daughter & her friend. He says his moms "God Niece" whatever exactly that is. His mom & the one girls mom were also there.
It's not the girls I was really having a fit about. It was the fact he completely disregarded my wishes of no pony rides on my horse. He didn't ask, didn't even tell me when I asked what he did in the day. So it was more or less me being mad at if he would have even told me or not. |
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Expert
Posts: 2685
 
| kwanatha - 2015-10-29 8:05 PM
I think you are way to upset. Those kids are family and i think you should do your share and teach them to drive. IN HIS TRUCK
EXACTLY MY FIRST THOUGHT LOL |
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Duct Tape Bikini Girl
Posts: 2554
| Dump him. |
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 Regular
Posts: 55
Location: Middle TN | Since all other concerns have been addressed, I skimmed so I didn't notice if this was mentioned: I would have a talk with him about which tack belongs to which horse also.. That in itself would have angered me to see my horse being handled or ridden with tack that it may not have ever seen before.. Just another safety hazard and regardless as to if he is ever going to touch the horse again with out your permission it would be good for him to know the proper equipment to use if the instance you ask him, need him to, or give him permission to use the horse. |
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Expert
Posts: 1561
| WOMEN-B-CRAZY!! |
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Posts: 1525
| Id no longer be engaged...but I once dumped a guy for making me late for a rodeo soooooooo you might not want to take my advice haha  |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 425
Location: California | lookyheremac - 2015-10-30 11:07 AM Since all other concerns have been addressed, I skimmed so I didn't notice if this was mentioned: I would have a talk with him about which tack belongs to which horse also.. That in itself would have angered me to see my horse being handled or ridden with tack that it may not have ever seen before.. Just another safety hazard and regardless as to if he is ever going to touch the horse again with out your permission it would be good for him to know the proper equipment to use if the instance you ask him, need him to, or give him permission to use the horse.
I only have two saddles, one english & one western. He doesn't know the first thing about english so he would automatically go for the western saddle. (horse works in both). As for bridles & what not, I don't have a ton of options so fortunately any decision there would be good.
When he ponied the girls, he made the lead rope into a halter & the girls got on bareback. He did not even take my horse out of her paddock. They just rode around in the stall. I almost hated this fact more. I feel like a stall is the horses space not an area they should have to be bombared and "worked" in. Not like it totally matters but still. If he didn't feel the need to take her out, he already knew it was wrong.
His mom & her friend were there. I know the moms friend. She's a loud mouth, annoying lady. Knowing my fiance, he was trying to just hurry up & get rid of them. Not sure how my horse got brought up or anything.
Also to add to other posts.... I guess the last time I didn't make myself clear when I said I didn't want people on my horse... The time I told him that, his friend was leading the horse in the pen & his friend doesnt know a thing about horses. So I guess he figured since it was him in charge, that it was okay. |
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 Owner of a ratting catting machine
Posts: 2258
| Well. I'm not going to say what hasn't been said already. I think you need to get out of the relationship. Here's why:
If this person already knew to not let people on your horse, and did it anyway, he has no respect for you.
My husband doesn't even take mine out of a stall, untie, move, or even feed mine without checking with me first. Know why? Because they are mine. Know what? We never even discussed it. Not once. He just respects what is mine and how IMPORTANT they are to me. He knows they are everything to me and he doesn't want to see me upset for one second. He treats them well and spoils them rotten whenever he gets a chance. He enjoys riding with me, and has 'his' saddle, and when we ride, he enjoys riding my good mare. He gets to ride her wherever he wants, whenever he wants. Know why? Because he is very, very respectful of me AND her.
Know what? This person disrespecting you is only going to get worse. If he'll actively go against your wishes with your horse, and be a dick when you're trying to have 'work it out' talks, it won't be long until he's doing everything you can't handle. Getting in the middle of other women, being gone, you name it. He's obviously going to do whatever he wants, without a thought to how you might feel about it.
Life is too short to be a doormat for a dickhead. |
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Location: The best kept secret in TX | MOTIVATED - 2015-10-30 1:13 PM Id no longer be engaged...but I once dumped a guy for making me late for a rodeo soooooooo you might not want to take my advice haha
AHAHA!!! Priorities right there!! Ha!  |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 1182
Location: Do I hear Banjos? | ccarpe18 - 2015-10-30 1:21 PM
lookyheremac - 2015-10-30 11:07 AM Since all other concerns have been addressed, I skimmed so I didn't notice if this was mentioned: I would have a talk with him about which tack belongs to which horse also.. That in itself would have angered me to see my horse being handled or ridden with tack that it may not have ever seen before.. Just another safety hazard and regardless as to if he is ever going to touch the horse again with out your permission it would be good for him to know the proper equipment to use if the instance you ask him, need him to, or give him permission to use the horse.
I only have two saddles, one english & one western. He doesn't know the first thing about english so he would automatically go for the western saddle. (horse works in both). As for bridles & what not, I don't have a ton of options so fortunately any decision there would be good.
When he ponied the girls, he made the lead rope into a halter & the girls got on bareback. He did not even take my horse out of her paddock. They just rode around in the stall. I almost hated this fact more. I feel like a stall is the horses space not an area they should have to be bombared and "worked" in. Not like it totally matters but still. If he didn't feel the need to take her out, he already knew it was wrong.
His mom & her friend were there. I know the moms friend. She's a loud mouth, annoying lady. Knowing my fiance, he was trying to just hurry up & get rid of them. Not sure how my horse got brought up or anything.
Also to add to other posts.... I guess the last time I didn't make myself clear when I said I didn't want people on my horse... The time I told him that, his friend was leading the horse in the pen & his friend doesnt know a thing about horses. So I guess he figured since it was him in charge, that it was okay.
Well then...problem solved...he has successfully convinced you that HE was in the right...and you were wrong and overreacted. Despite all you told us along the way.
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 628
Location: Missouri | TrailGirl - 2015-10-30 2:36 PM
ccarpe18 - 2015-10-30 1:21 PM
lookyheremac - 2015-10-30 11:07 AM Since all other concerns have been addressed, I skimmed so I didn't notice if this was mentioned: I would have a talk with him about which tack belongs to which horse also.. That in itself would have angered me to see my horse being handled or ridden with tack that it may not have ever seen before.. Just another safety hazard and regardless as to if he is ever going to touch the horse again with out your permission it would be good for him to know the proper equipment to use if the instance you ask him, need him to, or give him permission to use the horse.
I only have two saddles, one english & one western. He doesn't know the first thing about english so he would automatically go for the western saddle. (horse works in both). As for bridles & what not, I don't have a ton of options so fortunately any decision there would be good.
When he ponied the girls, he made the lead rope into a halter & the girls got on bareback. He did not even take my horse out of her paddock. They just rode around in the stall. I almost hated this fact more. I feel like a stall is the horses space not an area they should have to be bombared and "worked" in. Not like it totally matters but still. If he didn't feel the need to take her out, he already knew it was wrong.
His mom & her friend were there. I know the moms friend. She's a loud mouth, annoying lady. Knowing my fiance, he was trying to just hurry up & get rid of them. Not sure how my horse got brought up or anything.
Also to add to other posts.... I guess the last time I didn't make myself clear when I said I didn't want people on my horse... The time I told him that, his friend was leading the horse in the pen & his friend doesnt know a thing about horses. So I guess he figured since it was him in charge, that it was okay.
Well then...problem solved...he has successfully convinced you that HE was in the right...and you were wrong and overreacted. Despite all you told us along the way.
^^^ I was thinking the same. The OP tone has changed a lot so it makes you wonder what all has been said and why she is questioning why she blew up in the first place. Smooth talking men  |
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Expert
Posts: 1525
| This is not nice, but it is funny. If you felt like you were in the right...and somehow he has convinced you that you were in the wrong....you might be engaged to a........
Edited by MOTIVATED 2015-10-30 3:29 PM
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 933
Location: north dakota | That's true.. The only thing more fun to deal with is a narcissist that is also a sociopath. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 623
Location: /ARKANSAS | I would have flipped out!! At one barrelrace the announcer told us to check our horses and move our trailers to one side, the carnival was coming in and needed the space. I walked out to move my horse, a policeman was holding the reins!! Without a pause or thought I ripped the reins out of his hands and said "don't ever touch MY HORSE. And that is exactly how I feel. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 425
Location: California | mlh0972 - 2015-10-30 12:45 PM TrailGirl - 2015-10-30 2:36 PM ccarpe18 - 2015-10-30 1:21 PM lookyheremac - 2015-10-30 11:07 AM Since all other concerns have been addressed, I skimmed so I didn't notice if this was mentioned: I would have a talk with him about which tack belongs to which horse also.. That in itself would have angered me to see my horse being handled or ridden with tack that it may not have ever seen before.. Just another safety hazard and regardless as to if he is ever going to touch the horse again with out your permission it would be good for him to know the proper equipment to use if the instance you ask him, need him to, or give him permission to use the horse. I only have two saddles, one english & one western. He doesn't know the first thing about english so he would automatically go for the western saddle. (horse works in both). As for bridles & what not, I don't have a ton of options so fortunately any decision there would be good.
When he ponied the girls, he made the lead rope into a halter & the girls got on bareback. He did not even take my horse out of her paddock. They just rode around in the stall. I almost hated this fact more. I feel like a stall is the horses space not an area they should have to be bombared and "worked" in. Not like it totally matters but still. If he didn't feel the need to take her out, he already knew it was wrong.
His mom & her friend were there. I know the moms friend. She's a loud mouth, annoying lady. Knowing my fiance, he was trying to just hurry up & get rid of them. Not sure how my horse got brought up or anything.
Also to add to other posts.... I guess the last time I didn't make myself clear when I said I didn't want people on my horse... The time I told him that, his friend was leading the horse in the pen & his friend doesnt know a thing about horses. So I guess he figured since it was him in charge, that it was okay. Well then...problem solved...he has successfully convinced you that HE was in the right...and you were wrong and overreacted. Despite all you told us along the way. ^^^ I was thinking the same. The OP tone has changed a lot so it makes you wonder what all has been said and why she is questioning why she blew up in the first place. Smooth talking men
I never said I was wrong or over reacted. Nor did I question why I over reacted. But I understood his point of view better. He still knows **** well that I was mad & had every right to be. What is done is done, & there's not a whole lot I can do now. He has said he will not go near my horse or anything like that without asking first & if anything happens WITHOUT him asking now, then yes we will have a serious problem. I'm not going to dump him over this one particular situation as many people have suggested I do. Yes this whole situation got completely out of hand, he had no right to use my horse for his family friends to have a joy ride on. But it is only one situation, not our whole relationship. Of course we are going to have our ups & downs, & not everything is perfect.
But in other words, NOW I have made myself perfectly clear, because apparently I did not the last time. (When I say apparently, I don't mean because he "smooth" talked me, I mean because he obviously didn't listen). So after this blow up, if it happens again I know HE KNOWS **** well that it is NOT ALLOWED. |
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 Good Grief!
Posts: 6343
Location: Cap'n Joan Rotgut.....alberta | SOLID PLAN....SOLID.......M |
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 Regular
Posts: 54
| ccarpe18 - 2015-10-30 4:00 PM
mlh0972 - 2015-10-30 12:45 PM TrailGirl - 2015-10-30 2:36 PM ccarpe18 - 2015-10-30 1:21 PM lookyheremac - 2015-10-30 11:07 AM Since all other concerns have been addressed, I skimmed so I didn't notice if this was mentioned: I would have a talk with him about which tack belongs to which horse also.. That in itself would have angered me to see my horse being handled or ridden with tack that it may not have ever seen before.. Just another safety hazard and regardless as to if he is ever going to touch the horse again with out your permission it would be good for him to know the proper equipment to use if the instance you ask him, need him to, or give him permission to use the horse. I only have two saddles, one english & one western. He doesn't know the first thing about english so he would automatically go for the western saddle. (horse works in both). As for bridles & what not, I don't have a ton of options so fortunately any decision there would be good.
When he ponied the girls, he made the lead rope into a halter & the girls got on bareback. He did not even take my horse out of her paddock. They just rode around in the stall. I almost hated this fact more. I feel like a stall is the horses space not an area they should have to be bombared and "worked" in. Not like it totally matters but still. If he didn't feel the need to take her out, he already knew it was wrong.
His mom & her friend were there. I know the moms friend. She's a loud mouth, annoying lady. Knowing my fiance, he was trying to just hurry up & get rid of them. Not sure how my horse got brought up or anything.
Also to add to other posts.... I guess the last time I didn't make myself clear when I said I didn't want people on my horse... The time I told him that, his friend was leading the horse in the pen & his friend doesnt know a thing about horses. So I guess he figured since it was him in charge, that it was okay. Well then...problem solved...he has successfully convinced you that HE was in the right...and you were wrong and overreacted. Despite all you told us along the way. ^^^ I was thinking the same. The OP tone has changed a lot so it makes you wonder what all has been said and why she is questioning why she blew up in the first place. Smooth talking men
But in other words, NOW I have made myself perfectly clear, because apparently I did not the last time. (When I say apparently, I don't mean because he "smooth" talked me, I mean because he obviously didn't listen). So after this blow up, if it happens again I know HE KNOWS **** well that it is NOT ALLOWED.
Go ahead. Marry the guy. No skin off my nose. But I GUARANTEE you that it won't be long before you are kicking yourself and wishing you had listened to people that have been there. How does your family feel about this guy? |
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Expert
Posts: 1561
| Some of y'all calling the guy a narcissist is more than a little ironic... |
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 Expert
Posts: 4121
Location: SE Louisiana | YES... It would make me mad..... He's been TOLD!!
YES... You are being Drama----tic....
Check back with us in 20 years.... |
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