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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 307
   Location: Florida | Apparently I missed this thread somehow, and I'm just now seeing it. I know you'd filled me in some but it all makes even more sense and breaks my heart even more for you, sweet friend. I am so very sorry, I am in my 12th week now and I can't imagine. Prayers for you and your husband.  |
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Cold hands and Warm Heart
      Location: oklahoma | I too just read the entire thread. Many hugs, hold each other and rest. Best medicine  |
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  Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
         Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | So how do I get to a point where I feel like I can start letting my life get back to normal? Because it doesn't seem like it's ever going to be ok....... |
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Hungarian Midget Woman
    Location: Midwest | missroselee - 2013-12-04 7:45 AM So how do I get to a point where I feel like I can start letting my life get back to normal? Because it doesn't seem like it's ever going to be ok.......
You just jump in.... it took me a while. I am not a crier, but I cried a lot during my experience.
The thing that helped the most was legit forcing myself to get off the couch, go out to the barn, and try to spend some time with the horses. My husband and I also got out of the house and did some things together.
Just keep swimming. While the hurt never goes away entirely, it gets easier. I am thinking I will finally get through the holidays this year with less depression/sadness (I lost the baby two days before Christmas), and it's been two years. But I know how much it hurts....     |
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  Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
         Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace |
If not for my horses and husband I couldn't do this at all. But it's like a part of me feels guilty if I move on or try to. I'm back at work today. |
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    Location: Lost with the rest of the MINIONS! | missroselee - 2013-12-04 7:44 AM If not for my horses and husband I couldn't do this at all. But it's like a part of me feels guilty if I move on or try to. I'm back at work today.
 You are very brave to go back to work today. Thinking good thoughts for you and your hubby. I love the advice of "Just keep swimming" some days that is the best any of us can do. Hang in there. |
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  More bootie than waist!
Posts: 18425
          Location: Riding Crackhead. | Sleepy H Ranch - 2013-12-04 8:50 AM missroselee - 2013-12-04 7:44 AM If not for my horses and husband I couldn't do this at all. But it's like a part of me feels guilty if I move on or try to. I'm back at work today.  You are very brave to go back to work today. Thinking good thoughts for you and your hubby. I love the advice of "Just keep swimming" some days that is the best any of us can do. Hang in there.
I love the quote "just keep swimming" also. Watch Finding Nemo! Listening to Dori sing that will brighten your day and help keep you plugging along day by day! You know we've all got your back. We're here for you and if your feeling down, please let us know.
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  More bootie than waist!
Posts: 18425
          Location: Riding Crackhead. | Here's a better one!
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  Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
         Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | Thanks guys. It's jus been a bad day and not getting any better. You would think they would know better then to call to remind me of my next OB appointment. The 11 week HCG came back at a 5 week level. Th most recent results aren't back yet |
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 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
      
| Hugs, thinking of you. |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
     Location: OH. IO | Thinking of you today   |
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Regular
Posts: 78
   Location: Where the Jasmine & Magnolia Grow | Prayers from NC to help both of you through this difficult time.     |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 766
     Location: Texas | You are on my heart today and in my prayers.  |
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  Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
         Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | Thank you. I'm just not doing ok with any of this right now. I don't know if I need to ask the doc to talk to someone or if this is normal. |
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 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9991
           Location: Kansas | Thinking of you today 
Before I was pregnant with my daughter, I was once before that....and I ended up losing my baby when I was 11 weeks along, horrible pain and I cried for 2 weeks straight. I couldn't work, the only thing that kept me going was my grey mare. Thankfully I had alot of good friends and family who supported me and helped me through alot. It will get better, I promise. Just think positive and be strong |
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  More bootie than waist!
Posts: 18425
          Location: Riding Crackhead. | missroselee - 2013-12-06 7:44 AM Thank you. I'm just not doing ok with any of this right now. I don't know if I need to ask the doc to talk to someone or if this is normal.
Hang in there honey. I would imagine you have very normal feelings right now. Can you talk to a pastor? All I have to offer you is my prayers and many cyber hugs. |
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 Miss Laundry Misshap
Posts: 5271
    
| missroselee - 2013-12-04 11:42 AM Thanks guys. It's jus been a bad day and not getting any better. You would think they would know better then to call to remind me of my next OB appointment. The 11 week HCG came back at a 5 week level. Th most recent results aren't back yet
You still have your woman parts. They need to make sure everything is OK, if you decide you want to do this again. It would be very beneficial for you to go and discuss the feelings you've been having with people who have witnessed this tragedy time after time. Just know I'm still thinking about you and hoping that time and prayer will help alleviate the pain you are experiencing. Time will dull the edges, but it doesn't make one forget. |
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Hungarian Midget Woman
    Location: Midwest | That was how my HCG went....too low, then stayed low and was going down... then I miscarried.
You have nothing to feel guilty about. I felt the same way...but I tried to tell myself (and this is silly, but bear with me)... that no child would want their parent to feel badly or continue to be sad. In any death, those who die would want those still alive to live on and be happy... not stuck in mourning.
The best thing you can do is allow yourself to grieve... but don't become stuck in the sadness. Life goes on. Each day will be a tiny bit easier... and you just can't surrender to the sadness. You can't let it win.
There is nothing wrong with talking your feelings out with your doctor. They will likely have a lot of good advice. Your hormones are probably all over the place as well...and that is not helping out any.
The thing that helped me the most was just talking to other people who had been down that road. It made me realize that I hadn't done anything wrong, and that it is really pretty common. Here's to hoping today is a little easier for you. Try to keep your chin up, and don't allow the grief to take over.   |
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  Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
         Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | They did more blood work this past Monday and assured me they would call me with the results by Wednesday morning. This series of blood work was to make sure the HCG levels were falling and I didn't need more tests or a d&c. I called wednesday, then thursday, then again this morning and nobody would help me. I got the cold shoulder and everybody treated me like I was over reacting. So I said screw it and went up there and sat in their waiting room until I got answer. This may not be a big deal to them or to anyone else but it's a big freaking deal to me. I don't know what's normal or what's not.
Anyways....I need help. The blood work today showed the levels were dropping off dramatically. Doctor said the continued cramping was normal and prescribed more pain meds.
I specifically asked him if I could see a specialist to see about any available tests they could do to make sure there wasn't something wrong with me or my body that could cause another miscarriage. He said no. He said the only time they do those tests is if I have a second miscarriage. Why the hell should I have to have TWO miscarriages before anybody cares? Do I have the right to see a specialist and ask for help? Or am I over reacting?
Should I just change doctors? I do not think I would be comfortable using this office again based on the callous and cold nature of how I have been treated. I mean who calls to remind someone who just had a miscarriage of their next OB appointment? Why do I have to keep telling the same office staff over and over and over again that I'm no longer pregnant?
Any advice would be helpful.......problem is that if I have to wait for a second miscarriage to finally be able to do tests to rule out problems with me, there will NOT be a third one. I'm barely making it through the first, I could never ever do this again. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 720
  
| I'm gonna be the bad guy here. I am sorry this happened to you. It happens to a lot of people and it's perfectly normal. Yes, the doctor's office is not going to be sympathetic because it's just another medical thing to them. There is no way of knowing if you're susceptible to miscarriages until you have multiple miscarriages. Just go on back to your life as best as you can. It does get easier. This experience has taught you that you are able to get pregnant and you can do it again. It will make you more appreciative of the child you will carry to term. I speak from experience. |
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