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  Shipwrecked and Flat Out Zapped
Posts: 16390
   
Location: DUMPING CATS AND PIGS IN TEXAS :) | Karlaw - 2014-01-10 3:06 PM just a question and i dont mean for it to sound harsh, but how many of you actually remember at 2yrs old, your parents selling anything on you? at 2yrs old would you remember the horse in a few years down the road? There is probably no way to actually explain to her that you need to sell the horse that she will understand, she will be hurt no matter what but i bet she will get over it and not hold a grudge for many years. I don't. I have 3 or 4 memories when I was 5. Like the first day of Kindergarten, getting my hair cut.......but, nothing from before then.
Edited by LRQHS 2014-01-10 3:15 PM
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 Forever Young
Posts: 6768
Location: relocated to Texas | I said I would not do it unless there was no way around it. Sometimes parents get so caught up in material things for their family they forget about the importance of security. This horse may very well be a part of this child's security. My horse was everything to me, my best friend. To my mother, it was money better spent on the house. As an adult, I understand where she was coming from. As I kid, I hated her for it for a very long time. Say what you want, this child will not understand this on an adult level. | |
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Cat Collector
Posts: 1430
| LRQHS - 2014-01-10 2:11 PM
Karlaw - 2014-01-10 3:06 PM just a question and i dont mean for it to sound harsh, but how many of you actually remember at 2yrs old, your parents selling anything on you? at 2yrs old would you remember the horse in a few years down the road? There is probably no way to actually explain to her that you need to sell the horse that she will understand, she will be hurt no matter what but i bet she will get over it and not hold a grudge for many years. I don't. I have 3 or 4 memories when I was 5. Like the first day of Kindergarten, getting my hair cut.......but, nothing from before then.
Im thinking the same thing, I remember when my mom gave me a mushroom cut... that is my first terrifying memory lol | |
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 Neat Freak
Posts: 11216
Location: Wonderful Wyoming | Hollywood's Fan - 2014-01-10 2:12 PM I said I would not do it unless there was no way around it. Sometimes parents get so caught up in material things for their family they forget about the importance of security. This horse may very well be a part of this child's security. My horse was everything to me, my best friend. To my mother, it was money better spent on the house. As an adult, I understand where she was coming from. As I kid, I hated her for it for a very long time. Say what you want, this child will not understand this on an adult level.
You have some good points as far as if the family is using it for selfish reasons. It sounds like with the house and no where to even ride the horse, it just isn't feasable to have them. If they can be kept sounds like they would. The kid probably won't understand, but it won't be a lasting thing forever. My kids at 2 would have a fine distraction if they were given a new gold fish or candy bar. I guess at 2, I haven't seen too many so attached to a critter they would understand it gone. Now my 5yr old lost a favorite kitten and it still bothers him, but he was around it all the time and played outside daily with it. | |
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Shipwrecked and Flat Out Zapped
Posts: 16390
Location: DUMPING CATS AND PIGS IN TEXAS :) | Karlaw - 2014-01-10 3:18 PM LRQHS - 2014-01-10 2:11 PM Karlaw - 2014-01-10 3:06 PM just a question and i dont mean for it to sound harsh, but how many of you actually remember at 2yrs old, your parents selling anything on you? at 2yrs old would you remember the horse in a few years down the road? There is probably no way to actually explain to her that you need to sell the horse that she will understand, she will be hurt no matter what but i bet she will get over it and not hold a grudge for many years. I don't. I have 3 or 4 memories when I was 5. Like the first day of Kindergarten, getting my hair cut.......but, nothing from before then. Im thinking the same thing, I remember when my mom gave me a mushroom cut... that is my first terrifying memory lol
We call it a bowl haircut lol.....it looks like they put a bowl on your head and cut around it.......that was my Kindergarten haircut too and it was traumatic lol.... | |
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 Expert
Posts: 2097
Location: Deep South | Hollywood's Fan - 2014-01-10 3:12 PM
I said I would not do it unless there was no way around it. Sometimes parents get so caught up in material things for their family they forget about the importance of security. This horse may very well be a part of this child's security. My horse was everything to me, my best friend. To my mother, it was money better spent on the house. As an adult, I understand where she was coming from. As I kid, I hated her for it for a very long time. Say what you want, this child will not understand this on an adult level.
You also said you were 10 yo at the time. To me, there is a monumental difference in a 10 yo and a 2yo. 10 yo's are starting to brink puberty, they can tend to a little more "oh my the world is falling, everyone is out to get me, my mother hates me" than a 2 yo. They have a lot more emotions than a 2 yo.
No, the 2yo will not understand this on an adult level, but to say that she will be scarred for life is a bit dramatic. | |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 464
| We have several horses, and several kids. The kids ride my horses. Cuts down on the confusion when one has to go. | |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 495
Location: Washington | Thank you all for your input, it's greatly appreciated. I can remember my first horse and when my parents sold it, I htink I was about 5. I went with them to drop her off. She intimidated me, for I dont know what reason, just woke up scared of her one day.
I know she wont be scarred for life, I never thought one so young could get attached, that's why I wonder how much is coping her sister. When her sister was that age she was happy to ride anything!
I don't think he is a security thing. I think (hoping) it's sister has "her" horse (that's really mine) and so she has "hers". They have play horses and go around play riding these two specific horses.
It was the way she cried when that other person got on him.......
For fun here is a video of her riding him.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xcsxdSXYHNk
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Veteran
Posts: 260
Location: Gonzales texas | wyoming barrel racer - 2014-01-10 3:09 PM
Hollywood's Fan - 2014-01-10 1:59 PM shelltc - 2014-01-11 1:07 PM I would not sell this horse unless it was a last resort. But that's just my humble opinion. As a child of about that age that watched by dog be given to another child, I never forgot her or the feeling /sight of the new family driving away with her. I'm 62!!! I would give up my own horse first. I don't know your situation I'm not criticizing you at all. If the horse is already gone I would just never take her out there again. Maybe she'll forget in time since she didn't see it leave. Best wishes! I agree with this 100%. If you think there is any way that you can explain this to a 2 yr. old and they are going to understand it - you are wrong. The only thing the kid will feel is hurt and loss. I was about 10 yrs old when my horse was sold so that my mom could build a new house. I was devestated and held resentment for a long time over it and would never do that to a child of mine if there were any way to avoid it.
Funny story, I was raised by my dad. I had a cousin a few years older tell me the Easter bunny and Santa all were fake. I asked my dad about it and was old enough he said it was true. So she had imbedded the seed of doubt and trust. She then told me I was adopted. I freaked and asked my dad. He said no (and I am not) but I bet it took a year or so for me to quit wondering. Older kids are nasty lol. Point of the story, I have never needed therapy :)
By "last resort" I mean if they HAVE to sell because of financial reasons , to have a home etc. then that's the way it is. But if there was an alternative I would keep the child's horse. The op stated that she never saw the child cry so hard!! What are the lease mares for? do they generate income? I've got two grown children and five grands (4 are little girls !! 10,6,2,1)and I'm just tenderhearted that way! But as I said before it does help that she has something else she can ride. So maybe it won't be so bad. | |
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Veteran
Posts: 260
Location: Gonzales texas | wyoming barrel racer - 2014-01-10 3:09 PM
Hollywood's Fan - 2014-01-10 1:59 PM shelltc - 2014-01-11 1:07 PM I would not sell this horse unless it was a last resort. But that's just my humble opinion. As a child of about that age that watched by dog be given to another child, I never forgot her or the feeling /sight of the new family driving away with her. I'm 62!!! I would give up my own horse first. I don't know your situation I'm not criticizing you at all. If the horse is already gone I would just never take her out there again. Maybe she'll forget in time since she didn't see it leave. Best wishes! I agree with this 100%. If you think there is any way that you can explain this to a 2 yr. old and they are going to understand it - you are wrong. The only thing the kid will feel is hurt and loss. I was about 10 yrs old when my horse was sold so that my mom could build a new house. I was devestated and held resentment for a long time over it and would never do that to a child of mine if there were any way to avoid it.
Funny story, I was raised by my dad. I had a cousin a few years older tell me the Easter bunny and Santa all were fake. I asked my dad about it and was old enough he said it was true. So she had imbedded the seed of doubt and trust. She then told me I was adopted. I freaked and asked my dad. He said no (and I am not) but I bet it took a year or so for me to quit wondering. Older kids are nasty lol. Point of the story, I have never needed therapy :)
By "last resort" I mean if they HAVE to sell because of financial reasons , to have a home etc. then that's the way it is. But if there was an alternative I would keep the child's horse. The op stated that she never saw the child cry so hard!! What are the lease mares for? do they generate income? I've got two grown children and five grands (4 are little girls !! 10,6,2,1)and I'm just tenderhearted that way! But as I said before it does help that she has something else she can ride. So maybe it won't be so bad. | |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 521
Location: Lone Star State | I would just simply say "horse had to go bye-bye to a new home." Lol. I have two kids similar in age (3 & 6), can't you tell? :). Being a two-year-old and only seeing horse once a week, she'll recover fast...especially with other horses to ride. Like someone else said, I personally don't remember anything as a 2-yr-old!
Edited by River 2014-01-10 4:19 PM
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 Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | My daughter was 3 when I bought her her own first horse. He was 24 at the time. She had seen me buy and sell so many horses, even one that I had intended to give to her (and she knew it) that she worried at first that I would sell him too. I promised her he would die with us. They both deserve that and I will absolutely keep my word. But that's a totally different situation. And when I sold "her" mare, she wasn't very happy about it but she got over it. Especially after getting one that was hers for real. | |
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 Chicken Chick
Posts: 3562
Location: Texas | LRQHS - 2014-01-10 2:05 PM I have no children and that is probably for the best, but can you say, "Horsey went to Heaven?"
That doesn't work the other way around either. My first pony died while I was at school... they told me they sold her cause they didn't want to tell me she died. I remembered that for years, and I was about 20 when I finally got it out of them what really happened to my pony. Then I was mad that they lied to me about it. Every horse I got I thought I was going to come home from school and it was going to be gone cause they sold it.
Probably because of that I have told my son the truth about what happens to his animals. If they died, they died and we talk about it. When we were putting his horse down 2 years ago I told him, and he got to tell him good bye. If I am selling them, I tell him. If we are going to eat them, I tell him.
I think the truth is the best way with stuff like this. It doesn't always spare his feelings, and he usually cries (Hell so do I)... but he understands now that death, raising animals for meat, and having to sell things are just part of life (doesn't make it easier, but he understands). Now he is dealing with loss in the family, a cousin last month and a grandma in hospice right now. He understands what is happening, and it is easier for me to warn him when people aren't doing well.
She is 2 so I wouldn't really go into detail, but you can explain it to her enough for her to understand. | |
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 Expert
Posts: 1898
| Lopin' Leopard - 2014-01-10 4:05 PM
Thank you all for your input, it's greatly appreciated. I can remember my first horse and when my parents sold it, I htink I was about 5. I went with them to drop her off. She intimidated me, for I dont know what reason, just woke up scared of her one day. I know she wont be scarred for life, I never thought one so young could get attached, that's why I wonder how much is coping her sister. When her sister was that age she was happy to ride anything! I don't think he is a security thing. I think (hoping ) it's sister has "her" horse (that's really mine ) and so she has "hers". They have play horses and go around play riding these two specific horses. It was the way she cried when that other person got on him....... For fun here is a video of her riding him. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xcsxdSXYHNk
I have a two year old daughter and I can tell you she is absolutely attached to her pony and the colt we had born at the house last May. She rides or brushes her pony almost everyday and helps with feeding him in the afternoons. Every morning and every night when we get home she asks if we fed and watered "her baby". She is an only child so there is no feeding off the emotions of another sibling.
Her pony got very sick in December. She went to the vet with me because I didn't have anyone to watch her and heard everything the vet said. I had to explain to her that her pony may not be coming home. That was hard. We don't shelter her from death. She has never seen us kill an animal but she has been there for the rest of the processing. She understood that she may not have gotten to see her pony after that day and it broke her heart. I can still see the tears and the look on her face. It was heart breaking for me to see her in so much emotional pain. (The pony is alive and doing well!)
The colt, we are most likely going to sell in the near future. He is going to be much to small to be of use to us. When my husband and I talk about it around her she gets very upset. We have bought and sold horses before and she understands when they are sold they are gone but has never had an attachment to the ones that have left. She cries and tells us we can't sell "her baby". I have decided that when I find a potential buyer she will not be present for any part of the sell. The colt will just be gone and when she asks about it I will tell her the colt went to live with another family who will love him and take great care of him. I think it will be easier to explain that the horse went to a new home while she was gone than to explain why people are coming and taking "her baby" away (if that makes any sense at all).
I hope this helps. I do believe that two year olds form strong bonds with animals. I know that some people do have memories from when they were two, my sister remembers traumatic events from when she was two like when our dog was ran over and killed and when a turkey chased and cornered her (She is 25 and still scared to death of turkeys). I also think we as parents have to do what we have to do to make life good for our children. If selling the horse is what has to be done then there is no other option. There will be tears for a while and your baby may have questions. Answer them truthfully. | |
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 Thread Killer
Posts: 7545
| Hollywood's Fan - 2014-01-10 4:12 PM
I said I would not do it unless there was no way around it. Sometimes parents get so caught up in material things for their family they forget about the importance of security. This horse may very well be a part of this child's security. My horse was everything to me, my best friend. To my mother, it was money better spent on the house. As an adult, I understand where she was coming from. As I kid, I hated her for it for a very long time. Say what you want, this child will not understand this on an adult level.
My parents owned a really cool Chevy dually when I was little. We did everything with that truck, and I do mean EVERYTHING. I remember the plush burgundy upholstery and real wood accents, fancy interior lights, and even the sound of the engine. Some of my fondest early childhood memories involved that truck in some capacity. My parents had to sell it. The day that the new owner came to take it away was one of the saddest days of my life. I mean, it is still right up there with the deaths of several pets, and numerous close family members. I'll never forget that day for as long as I live. I forgave my parents a long time ago, but I'll never forget it. I have a framed picture of the truck sitting on the dresser in my room. But, that was me and it wasn't a living thing. LOL | |
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 Miss Laundry Misshap
Posts: 5271
| I was around 2 when my mom sold her mare. This horse hated my guts and tried to kill me, she thought I was a dog. She tried to kill them too! My mom said see ya!! I was there when the trailer pulled up and they loaded her and off she went. I cried. But I don't remember being upset other than that. I was upset cause a horse was leaving, but my mom couldn't figure out why, since said horse tried to attack me on several occasions, even coming at me thru the stall bars. I don't remember any of that.
Tell you kid a reason, she might be upset but if she's got other horses to play with (I had my pony and other horses) she'll be fine. | |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 495
Location: Washington | cyount2009 - 2014-01-10 2:35 PM
Lopin' Leopard - 2014-01-10 4:05 PM
Thank you all for your input, it's greatly appreciated. I can remember my first horse and when my parents sold it, I htink I was about 5. I went with them to drop her off. She intimidated me, for I dont know what reason, just woke up scared of her one day. I know she wont be scarred for life, I never thought one so young could get attached, that's why I wonder how much is coping her sister. When her sister was that age she was happy to ride anything! I don't think he is a security thing. I think (hoping ) it's sister has "her" horse (that's really mine ) and so she has "hers". They have play horses and go around play riding these two specific horses. It was the way she cried when that other person got on him....... For fun here is a video of her riding him. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xcsxdSXYHNk
I have a two year old daughter and I can tell you she is absolutely attached to her pony and the colt we had born at the house last May. She rides or brushes her pony almost everyday and helps with feeding him in the afternoons. Every morning and every night when we get home she asks if we fed and watered "her baby". She is an only child so there is no feeding off the emotions of another sibling.
Her pony got very sick in December. She went to the vet with me because I didn't have anyone to watch her and heard everything the vet said. I had to explain to her that her pony may not be coming home. That was hard. We don't shelter her from death. She has never seen us kill an animal but she has been there for the rest of the processing. She understood that she may not have gotten to see her pony after that day and it broke her heart. I can still see the tears and the look on her face. It was heart breaking for me to see her in so much emotional pain. (The pony is alive and doing well! )
The colt, we are most likely going to sell in the near future. He is going to be much to small to be of use to us. When my husband and I talk about it around her she gets very upset. We have bought and sold horses before and she understands when they are sold they are gone but has never had an attachment to the ones that have left. She cries and tells us we can't sell "her baby". I have decided that when I find a potential buyer she will not be present for any part of the sell. The colt will just be gone and when she asks about it I will tell her the colt went to live with another family who will love him and take great care of him. I think it will be easier to explain that the horse went to a new home while she was gone than to explain why people are coming and taking "her baby" away (if that makes any sense at all ).
I hope this helps. I do believe that two year olds form strong bonds with animals. I know that some people do have memories from when they were two, my sister remembers traumatic events from when she was two like when our dog was ran over and killed and when a turkey chased and cornered her (She is 25 and still scared to death of turkeys ). I also think we as parents have to do what we have to do to make life good for our children. If selling the horse is what has to be done then there is no other option. There will be tears for a while and your baby may have questions. Answer them truthfully.
This is what I have been thinking would be the best route. That we'd go out to check on them and when she asked, tell her he went to a new home for someone else to ride, and now she can start riding so and so.
We have had a couple people come out to try him, we don't take her, and a gal that came out today is very serious about him. That's why I figured I'd ask since he will be re-homed soon. We have not said a word to her and if it's brought up in front of them we spell it out.
Glad to hear the pony is doing better!  Our kids know about death, their dad is a hunter. Not too worried about that hill when we hit it. | |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 305
| I sympathize with you. I have two sons 2 and 4. I was raised in a home that raised dogs and it was hard to see them go to new homes. But my parents always told me "that we do the best with and for our animals so that they can go on to make other people happy. This should make you feel good to know that your animal made some one else so happy." I was hard to see them go sometimes but it did make me feel better to know someone else was happy. I personally don't think that money is important to a two yr old and may make them misunderstand the meaning of earning money for the thing we need, not just get rid of things that mean a lot to us just for money. JMO Good luck I'm sure there will be tears but maybe you can redirect with something else to try to easy them. | |
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 Sexy Bee Yacht
Posts: 5849
Location: WA | Three 4 Luck - 2014-01-10 12:07 PM Tell her you sell horses sometimes but you don't sell your kids. My kids thought for a while that they might get sold if they didn't behave...oops. LOL Other than that, just put it as simply as possible. This nice family needed a good horse like xxxxx, and we needed money so we could make a place for our other horses to live at home, so we sold him to them. He will be taken care of and loved there. Then let the kid process it.
I like this! | |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 367
| I sold one once thinking he was only 2 it would blow over. Well he just turned 5 and still askes for her for his birthday and Christmas and stills tells me it is the only horse he will ever love. Bought him a different one and it is just not the same to him. He still talks about he daily and truly wish I would not have sold the horse. | |
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