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 Expert
Posts: 1898
   
| In our district all parties involved are sent to administration and we ALWAYS file a police report for liability.
We always contact the parents of the parties involved but we do not have authority to discuss student names or punishment of opposite parties. We usually tell parents if they question regarding the other person or persons they have to get the information from their child. We won't release names because there are the crazy parents that seek retaliation against other family members or the children themselves.
I would get a police report immediately. If the school is not willing to advocate for your child then you have to. Who's to say these other children don't already have a record or are on probation? It needs reported so there is a paper trail if and when these other children cause serious injury. If something else was to happen and these children had no prior history of violent behavior the punishment wouldn't be as fitting. It is up to you on whether you press charges but I would definitely have it documented by the police department and ALWAYS request a copy of the final report so the notes don't get "round filed" when they get back to the office. |
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 Expert
Posts: 3165
| when i was younger, my schools rule was immediate suspension for all involved.
5 days for the one who started the fight
and 3 days for the others involved, whether they threw a punch or not.
some kids were able to get In school suspension if they can prove they didn't fight back... or tried to avoid the situation.
I was jumped in 10th grade by 3 girls on the school bus. i was suspended for 38 days out of school, and then spent another 10 days in "in school suspension". By the time the attorney was able to get a meeting with the super attendant, i had already served all of the suspension, but it was ex-sponged from my record since the girls were not supposed to be on that bus, and I had no choice but to fight back.
our school rarely called the police when a fight happened, unless someone was seriously hurt.
did the school even call you to inform you of the fight? |
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 Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | I can't imagine punishing the victim, whether they fight back or not. Good Lord! |
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 Expert
Posts: 1857
| Three 4 Luck - 2014-02-18 1:12 PM
I can't imagine punishing the victim, whether they fight back or not. Good Lord!
I know, they punish them and put stuff on their record when they had no choice to be involved. The only time the attacked individual should be written up or punished is if they were taunting or egged the situation on and there is proof of such behavior! |
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 Balance Beam and more...
Posts: 11511
Location: 31 lengths farms | Sadly it seems that schools today are afraid to expel kids for any justifiable reason because of the whole Average Daily Attendance and the fact they get paid for "seats in the seats". Expelling kids takes money out of the coffers....
I worked in the schools for 18 years, 6 monthsI spent in a classroom that was just for the kids that had been kicked out of their regular schools. Very interesting kids, no resources. There were anywhere from 8-14 students in the classroom, a teacher and 2 aides. While I was there the teacher got let go for encouraging/daring a student to put a pushpin threw his ear, kids came and went as they pleased. One would show up when he knew that we had to order lunches for the day, it was often the only meal he got. When the teacher threatened to call his probation officer the student was like "go ahead, Juvie means clean clothes, meals and a place to sleep at night..." When I first got there they had no sports equipment, no basketballs, nothing. Everything had gotten taken away because they ended up using them as weapons, unruly bunch of heathens for sure. I brought a basketball the second day of work and played with them, got slammed to the ground a couple times but when they figured out I wasn't gonna whine and pout about it they gave me a lot of respect. One girl walked in after being gone to juvie for a week or so when I first started. She looked at me and then at another girl in class and said "who's the Barbie?" Kathy told her my name and said "but she's cool man.." Krystal looked at me and says "My names Krystal, don't tell me what to do ..." I said "fair enough, my names not Barbie, it's Nannette and dont' tell me how to do my job, we get along fine." They had no library books, no computers, nothing but trouble to cause at their recess times, so much in fact that the district had a closing time of 2 pm for them a good hour earlier than the regular schools because in the afternoon so many snuck off after lunch anyway. After getting them involved in basketball games they started sticking around better. So I brought Monopoly and UNO to school with me, figured at least Monopoly would teach them some math skills without them knowing they were doing math and UNO just because I enjoy it, LOL!!! I made arrangements to borrow the book "Summer of the Monkey's" for them from the library at the Jr High. The first day only had 1 student that was willing to sit and read aloud with me but by the end of the first week all of them sat and at least looked at the books and some even argued who's turn it was to read the next pages. Did have to buy a book when we finished as someone stole their copy, but I figured if they bothered to steal a book at least I hoped it meant they were re-reading it at home.
There are always two sides to any "problem" and I've been in both the classrooms where you wish the would send the kids home and the classroom where you pray the kid shows up each day because its the only safe place there is for them. |
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I Really Love Jeans
Posts: 3173
Location: North Dakota | If kids fight in middle school here 6,7,8 grade they put the kid in a room which is called in school suspension until the parents or parent comes to the school to pick up the kid. They are suspended for a few days or moe depending on how severe the fight is. I would go to the school if I were you and make it clear that you want something done about your child being hit. Insist that the parents of the other two children be called to the school and let the school know if anyone touches your child again you will file a police report for assult. Make sure the other kids parents know this to. I had a group of boys who decided to target my son when we moved here, the school did nothing so I found them at the park one day and put on my ugly hat and they never even looked at my son again!! Here they have a phone directory so all the parents have access to the contact info of all the other parents, we pay $15 a year for it in the form of a booklet! One of the parents decided to mouth back so I found her kid personally and he knew I was serious so that ended the harassment!!!! |
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 Chicken Chick
Posts: 3562
Location: Texas | angelica - 2014-02-18 2:31 PM If kids fight in middle school here 6,7,8 grade they put the kid in a room which is called in school suspension until the parents or parent comes to the school to pick up the kid. They are suspended for a few days or moe depending on how severe the fight is. I would go to the school if I were you and make it clear that you want something done about your child being hit. Insist that the parents of the other two children be called to the school and let the school know if anyone touches your child again you will file a police report for assult. Make sure the other kids parents know this to. I had a group of boys who decided to target my son when we moved here, the school did nothing so I found them at the park one day and put on my ugly hat and they never even looked at my son again!! Here they have a phone directory so all the parents have access to the contact info of all the other parents, we pay $15 a year for it in the form of a booklet! One of the parents decided to mouth back so I found her kid personally and he knew I was serious so that ended the harassment!!!!
So you are tracking down kids because their parents are mouthy? |
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 Hog Tie My Mojo
Posts: 4847
Location: Opelousas, LA | Thanks for all the replies. I kept him home today because he woke up with a headache and his jaw was pretty sore.
My husband is coming home tonight and he is going to the school tomorrow to see what, if anything, was done about what happened yesterday. We are most likely going to withdraw him and homeschool him for the rest of the year.
I am going to ask if we can keep in touch with his teachers and follow along with what they are doing in class. If that is not an option then we will do our own thing and probably have "school" all summer and hopefully get caught up to where he needs to be. I am not sure how much teaching his teachers are actually able to do in between trying to keep order in the classroom anyways.
As for calling the police, that will depend on what my husband finds out tomorrow. I did talk to an officer yesterday and they have not been called to that school at all this year as far as he knows. I have not had the administrators contact me at all either. All the information has come from my son and what I find out when I meet with the Asst. Principal the next day.
Any good homeschooling tips or info would be appreciated. I know it will take a very disciplined schedule to work this in to what I already have to do, but at this point I don't see any other way.
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Hog Tie My Mojo
Posts: 4847
Location: Opelousas, LA | angelica - 2014-02-18 2:31 PM If kids fight in middle school here 6,7,8 grade they put the kid in a room which is called in school suspension until the parents or parent comes to the school to pick up the kid. They are suspended for a few days or moe depending on how severe the fight is. I would go to the school if I were you and make it clear that you want something done about your child being hit. Insist that the parents of the other two children be called to the school and let the school know if anyone touches your child again you will file a police report for assult. Make sure the other kids parents know this to. I had a group of boys who decided to target my son when we moved here, the school did nothing so I found them at the park one day and put on my ugly hat and they never even looked at my son again!! Here they have a phone directory so all the parents have access to the contact info of all the other parents, we pay $15 a year for it in the form of a booklet! One of the parents decided to mouth back so I found her kid personally and he knew I was serious so that ended the harassment!!!!
Honestly, I don't think some of these kids parents really give a rats rear what goes on at school. As long as the kids are at school to get thier free lunch and counted present so the parents get thier benefits they don't care what happens.
I really feel bad for some of the kids but my concern is my childs safety. |
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 Expert
Posts: 1432
Location: Never in one place long | And this my friends is what happens when parents aren't around to raise their kids or don't take time to teach them right from wrong.... most kids who act this way KNOW their parents wont' do anything and dont' get the attention they need from parents. This is very scary to me knowing thre are thousands of kids out there acting this way because their darn parents DON'T care!!!! |
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 Experienced Mouse Trapper
Posts: 3106
Location: North Dakota | Totally and completely grateful that I do not have to deal with what you are dealing with now. Maybe in HS but before middle school-OMG! You are handling things very well, pretty sure I wouldn't be doing as good as you are. Good luck, too bad your son is the one to "suffer" and have to learn that the world is full of wimps that won't stand up to bullies. (I mean the school-not you) |
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The Advice Guru
Posts: 6419
| Barnmom - 2014-02-18 2:39 PM
Thanks for all the replies. I kept him home today because he woke up with a headache and his jaw was pretty sore.
My husband is coming home tonight and he is going to the school tomorrow to see what, if anything, was done about what happened yesterday. We are most likely going to withdraw him and homeschool him for the rest of the year.
I am going to ask if we can keep in touch with his teachers and follow along with what they are doing in class. If that is not an option then we will do our own thing and probably have "school" all summer and hopefully get caught up to where he needs to be. I am not sure how much teaching his teachers are actually able to do in between trying to keep order in the classroom anyways.
As for calling the police, that will depend on what my husband finds out tomorrow. I did talk to an officer yesterday and they have not been called to that school at all this year as far as he knows. I have not had the administrators contact me at all either. All the information has come from my son and what I find out when I meet with the Asst. Principal the next day.
Any good homeschooling tips or info would be appreciated. I know it will take a very disciplined schedule to work this in to what I already have to do, but at this point I don't see any other way.
For tips on home schooling
Maybe sylvan learning
Post at the local college/university for tutors
Craigslist post for retired school teacher wanted for Tudors.
This might help you guys |
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 Expert
Posts: 3782
Location: Gainesville, TX | On the homeschooling thing. There is so much available online now, it's crazy. You can teach just about anything. There's also tons of great computer programs, even games for Wii and Xbox that teach math skills, science, and language. Find out where he's at and then just google '4th grade match curriculum' or something similar. You'll be amazed. |
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 Expert
Posts: 1218
Location: Great NW | It is so sad that the victoms are the ones that suffer - they are the ones that have to change their lives. There is NO WAY a victom should be arrested or have anything on their records for trying to protect themselves. Home schooling is not that hard - just time consuming to get started. I have heard that some states even supply the Computer for the child. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 766
Location: Texas | Just because you homeschool your son doesn't mean that he will be behind in school. You are a concerned parent so I'm sure he will be far ahead of others in his class. He will love the one on one attention that he will recieve and there will be no class distractions or fear that he will get hurt. He will be more relaxed and be able to learn quicker.
I have seen others homeschool that weren't consistent and yes their children got behind. Just make yourself a schedule and follow it. And being that it is just you and your son, he will finish each class quicker.
Don't stress, you will be awesome!!
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