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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 448
 
Location: lone star state | Even if the state requests removal a judge will not remove based on filth. I have worked in the system many years. Judges know that if this 8 yr old is placed in a group shelter he is going to be physically and likely sexually abused. This child is better off home and getting mom help. |
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  Warmblood with Wings
Posts: 27846
  
Location: Florida.. | I am sure but doesnt that require contacting authorities? |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 448
Location: lone star state | The only person required to report would be anyone who holds a state license such as teachers, medical professionals, law enforcement etc. Again teachers see dirty neglected kids everyday. Teachers also know that filth will not get a child removed. Many wash the clothes or give clothing to their students so that they can help them without completely disrupting the child's life possibly for the worse....
America would completely come undone if they knew how kids in their own community live. Many many have little to no food in their homes and filth, you can't even imagine the filthy homes in this country. And now our borders are open to anyone who walks across...while we can't manage the mess we already own....don't get me started on that one :( |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1034
| WYOTurn-n-Burn - 2014-07-03 1:59 PM
Cleaning it up for her is a short term solution, to what is more than likely, a long term problem. Aren't people in "care giving" roles mandated reporters? I wouldn't be waiting another second to report this situation to the authorites. I agree with whomever said this was a case of neglect.
This.
You cleaning for her will only a) last as long as you are her babysitter and obviously isn't helping anyway and b) you are enabling her to continue.
You know what you have to do. I'd report it and leave it to the authorities to sort out. This should not be a dilemma. |
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 IMA No Hair Style Gal
Posts: 2594
| Follow your gut. If you feel this way there is a reason.
I would report anonymously. Better to say something and there be deeper issues, then not say anything at all-and let those deeper issues develop into DEEPER issues.
We live in a society that is afraid to stand for what they believe in.
If you believe it is wrong-stand up to it.
ETA: If he is pooping on the floor I could almost BET there is a history of sexual abuse somewhere. Maybe not by his mom, but by someone.
Edited by magic gunsmoke 2014-07-03 5:26 PM
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| firewaterfuelsme - 2014-07-03 4:29 PM The only person required to report would be anyone who holds a state license such as teachers, medical professionals, law enforcement etc. Again teachers see dirty neglected kids everyday. Teachers also know that filth will not get a child removed. Many wash the clothes or give clothing to their students so that they can help them without completely disrupting the child's life possibly for the worse.... America would completely come undone if they knew how kids in their own community live. Many many have little to no food in their homes and filth, you can't even imagine the filthy homes in this country. And now our borders are open to anyone who walks across...while we can't manage the mess we already own....don't get me started on that one :(
The only ones "required" by law perhaps but her question was about a "moral" delemia; the law and morals don't always match. Morally, someone needs to act on this on the behalf of that child. |
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Warmblood with Wings
Posts: 27846
Location: Florida.. | runs4fun - 2014-07-03 6:54 PM firewaterfuelsme - 2014-07-03 4:29 PM The only person required to report would be anyone who holds a state license such as teachers, medical professionals, law enforcement etc. Again teachers see dirty neglected kids everyday. Teachers also know that filth will not get a child removed. Many wash the clothes or give clothing to their students so that they can help them without completely disrupting the child's life possibly for the worse.... America would completely come undone if they knew how kids in their own community live. Many many have little to no food in their homes and filth, you can't even imagine the filthy homes in this country. And now our borders are open to anyone who walks across...while we can't manage the mess we already own....don't get me started on that one :( The only ones "required" by law perhaps but her question was about a "moral" delemia; the law and morals don't always match. Morally, someone needs to act on this on the behalf of that child.
agree and fast.. |
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Miracle in the Making
Posts: 4013
| This is not a nice lady how can u even go inthere |
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My Heelers are Heroes
Posts: 4685
| Yes she has a good relationship with the child. There is plenty of food in the house. The home, they have about torn up.
strange thing is she is actually pretty successful financially. Home and both vehicles paid for. Makes good money and knows how to manage it.
At the start of summer I thought maybe I would try to clean it up but it's to big a job for 1 person. Heck I can't even find a starting point. And there is no cleaning supplies and I don't feel like I should have to buy them out of my pocket. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1096
| I remember a girl I went to school with. Her mother was a nurse. A good nurse at that but the house was HORRIBLE! Just a disaster. I think for some people they either don't see it or they have an issue which causes them to not know what to do. I would contact someone who can help the child. This child needs help and without it will only have more issues as time goes on. Also maybe help is out there for the mother if authorities are contacted. |
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 Dog Resuce Agent
Posts: 3459
Location: southeast Texas | Sometimes people are filthy, they were raised this way, many generations.
Sometimes the caregiver, mother is overwhelmed. All she can do is put one foot in front of the other.
Perhaps her hormones are out of whack.
To the original Poster. If you want to help around the home, gently talk to her. You could start out by saying you would like to help get things orginized and straightened up. That you need funds to purchase items to get started.
For the roaches, Bengil roach spray. You spray around the basebords in the house, all the way around in every room. Works wonders.
Realize anything you do positive, soon as you leave for good, it won't be long before its back the way it was.
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 Ditch the Stirrups
Posts: 5369
Location: Sorrow Not! Defending against workplace bullies | If the mom has money, ask if you can schedule an exterminator and cleaning service. Not just one time but on a regular basis.If she says no then call the authorities. Do not clean it up yourself. It will only be a short time before it is filthy again. |
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| My sister had 3 girls who are all now grown. The oldest lives in filth and is the happiest go-lucky, hard-working with a good job you would hope to meet. The middle daughter, is just the opposite an absolute OCD personality for cleanliness of her house (well, not OCD but close)....happy, good job etc. The youngest daughter...in between as far as dirty/clean house, etc. It's amazing how different people can be and still be just happy!
However, the description about the child...that's a different story, parents have a responsibility to take into consideration the physical and mental welfare of their children.
Edited by runs4fun 2014-07-04 12:56 PM
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Warmblood with Wings
Posts: 27846
Location: Florida.. | we all seem to be forgetting the 8 yr old poops on the floor.. there is mental or emotional issues..a clean house is the least of the concern |
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Ditch the Stirrups
Posts: 5369
Location: Sorrow Not! Defending against workplace bullies | Maybe the kid poops on the floor as a reaction to the filth or as a way of trying to bring attention to the filth. |
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My Heelers are Heroes
Posts: 4685
| I think kid pooped in the floor because he is nasty. Even when he goes to the bathroom he doesn't flush or wipe.
I don't believe he's abused. I've also wondered about the school not saying something about him being dirty smelling and his lack of eating skills. Maybe they do complain about it.
The more thought I put into it, I'm betting she was "raised" this way. Her Mom left when she was around 6. From every thing she's said I have the impression Dad provided the basics of home, food and clothes. But was gone from the home most of the time, including all night sometimes. I'm thinking Dad didn't do much house cleaning and neither did she as a child.
I never knew cockroaches were so smart. Kid told me they know when I'm there because they hide. I knew I was beginning to see less of them. After killing hundreds I thought I was winning. Now he tells me they are hiding from me. I do have spray and we've made a game out of the stomp and kill method. Which doubles as a way for him to pick up all the clothes out of the floor. |
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Ditch the Stirrups
Posts: 5369
Location: Sorrow Not! Defending against workplace bullies | Cinch what did you think of the idea to hire an exterminator and clraning professional to come in on a regular basis?
Pretty soon there will be bedbugs and rats in that house.
As an aside when I was a kid we visited my mom's sister and cousins and the place was soooo much dirtier than anything I had ever seen. My cousins showed me a hole in their bedroom wall where they fed rats! My mom was a clean freak but her sister never cleaned... |
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| Bibliafarm - 2014-07-04 1:58 PM we all seem to be forgetting the 8 yr old poops on the floor.. there is mental or emotional issues..a clean house is the least of the concern
I totally agree, that's why I said the child's welfare is a whole different story!!! Something not right there! Definitely somebody needs to address the situation with the child. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 1119
| I don't have any advice, but hopefully whatever you do will help this kid.
And this story has motivated me to clean my house today....... |
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My Heelers are Heroes
Posts: 4685
| I can attempt the exterminator discussion but honestly I don't know if there is enough money in the world to pay for a house cleaner.
I honestly thought I'd do it. I can't find a starting place and there are no cleaning supplies. Everything I do is right back nasty the next day. How hard is it to wipe something up you spill.
It doesn't help matters that I have a thing about touching other people's belongings. I was raised to not touch or but into other people's business. When I gather clothes up out of the floor I cringe, thinking this isn't mine. |
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