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Expert
Posts: 1280
  
Location: Texas | Boy vs Man. Ditch him, & find a grown up. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 330
| jw1990 - 2014-07-09 5:23 PM
we did talk his response was "we don't see them every weekend" and he stayed home with me pouted like a kid wouldn't talk to me and said ok im goin and left to hang with his friends or wants me to rotate all my plans around just so we can make his work
You are dating a man-child, been there, have the t-shirt.
It isn't going to get better. You are going to get sick of it. So move along before you waste another day babysitting. |
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  Shipwrecked and Flat Out Zapped
Posts: 16390
Location: DUMPING CATS AND PIGS IN TEXAS :) | My favorite Iggy Azalea verse is, "I got 99 problems, but you won't be one."
Dude is immature. It won't get better. IT WON'T GET BETTER!!!! |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 330
| LRQHS - 2014-07-10 7:54 AM
My favorite Iggy Azalea verse is, "I got 99 problems, but you won't be one."
Dude is immature. It won't get better. IT WON'T GET BETTER!!!!
^^^ Just wanted to repeat the above! It's worth repeating! ^^^ |
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 I Chore in Chucks
Posts: 2882
 
Location: MD | then don't go together. just say hey, have your fun I don't want to go. It's not that much fun for me, I'll pick you up when you're ready to come home? That way you're not leaving him out to dry and drive drunk and you're caring.
and at 24 it's not a crazy idea that he wants to hang out with friends and drink and party. I'd still classify that as his youth party stage and he'll probably grow out of it eventually. Communication is key and you got to let him know how you're feeling before it spirals out of control and you start resenting him for it. If he's really in this relationship for you I would think he would want to make you happy too. Maybe do a thing like during the day you do something you want to do and at night do something he wants to do and save Sunday for a day just for you two? Or Saturday is his day to choose the activities, Sunday is your day to choose the activities... etc. Work something out WITH him. don't get him on the defense. |
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Shipwrecked and Flat Out Zapped
Posts: 16390
Location: DUMPING CATS AND PIGS IN TEXAS :) | ^^^^^ lol nooooooooo....
RUN, FOREST, RUN!!!! |
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 Angel in a Sorrel Coat
Posts: 16030
Location: In a happy place | LRQHS - 2014-07-10 6:54 AM My favorite Iggy Azalea verse is, "I got 99 problems, but you won't be one."
Dude is immature. It won't get better. IT WON'T GET BETTER!!!!
You say it so well LRQHS. |
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 Fact Checker
Posts: 16575
Location: Displaced Iowegian | Crowned Image - 2014-07-10 7:37 AM then don't go together. just say hey, have your fun I don't want to go. It's not that much fun for me, I'll pick you up when you're ready to come home? That way you're not leaving him out to dry and drive drunk and you're caring. and at 24 it's not a crazy idea that he wants to hang out with friends and drink and party. I'd still classify that as his youth party stage and he'll probably grow out of it eventually. Communication is key and you got to let him know how you're feeling before it spirals out of control and you start resenting him for it. If he's really in this relationship for you I would think he would want to make you happy too. Maybe do a thing like during the day you do something you want to do and at night do something he wants to do and save Sunday for a day just for you two? Or Saturday is his day to choose the activities, Sunday is your day to choose the activities... etc. Work something out WITH him. don't get him on the defense.
Bull pucky......yes, he "might" grow out of it (doubtful !!!!) ... Men who are self centered, pouty and don't respect their mate's feelings, rarely grow out of it.......Does she really want to WASTE those years when she could have a "man" who loves and respects her feelings!!!! |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 1182
Location: Do I hear Banjos? | You know...maybe it's because I'm now in a relationship that is A-Ma-Zing...but I see now that I spent my whole life trying to "make things work" that were doomed to fail. Trying to keep that square peg in a round hole when I shoulda just moved on. When someone truly loves you they want to be with you and make you happy....let you know you are a priority in their world not with words but with actions.
From what little we know from the OP's comments...it sounds as though you are more a homebody...or at least not a party girl...and you don't fit in with the bubble headed girls at the parties. Your boyfriend is more of a drinking party going extrovert who is insecure enough that he has to make excuses to his buddies and lie about why you aren't there. If you say you just want to spend time with him away from the party crowd he pouts and doesn't talk to you? Seriously?
You sound like you are at cross purposes and not a good match in lifestyle or personality at this stage of life. The trouble is you live together. He doesn't have to make any effort to see you. The milk is free so to speak. And I may be wrong but I bet you are the responsible house cleaning chore doing one in the relationship? He doesn't have to grow up or make an effort.
I'm not saying living together is wrong...far from it...I live with mine...but we are older and have the same lifestyle and are equal partners in all we do to run the house and care for the critters etc. But it doesn't seem like this guy is mature enough to be in a committed supportive partnership. You are his DD and not his number one priority. It's up to you to decide if that is enough for you. If not you can try to talk to him but he has to want to change or it will never happen and you are wasting your time. |
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I Chore in Chucks
Posts: 2882
Location: MD | NJJ - 2014-07-10 9:04 AM
Crowned Image - 2014-07-10 7:37 AM then don't go together. just say hey, have your fun I don't want to go. It's not that much fun for me, I'll pick you up when you're ready to come home? That way you're not leaving him out to dry and drive drunk and you're caring. and at 24 it's not a crazy idea that he wants to hang out with friends and drink and party. I'd still classify that as his youth party stage and he'll probably grow out of it eventually. Communication is key and you got to let him know how you're feeling before it spirals out of control and you start resenting him for it. If he's really in this relationship for you I would think he would want to make you happy too. Maybe do a thing like during the day you do something you want to do and at night do something he wants to do and save Sunday for a day just for you two? Or Saturday is his day to choose the activities, Sunday is your day to choose the activities... etc. Work something out WITH him. don't get him on the defense.
Bull pucky......yes, he "might" grow out of it (doubtful !!!!) ... Men who are self centered, pouty and don't respect their mate's feelings, rarely grow out of it.......Does she really want to WASTE those years when she could have a "man" who loves and respects her feelings!!!!
everyone changes over their lifetime. I'm sure at some point in EVERYONE'S lives we were all self centered and pouted over the wind not blowing the right way. And most of us fix, edit, and evolve our behaviors over time. some take longer than others.
OP please don't put all men into a category that if they were once or are currently pouty and self centered that they will never be there for you. You're with him for a reason, work on your relationship with him. |
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Hungarian Midget Woman
Location: Midwest | I'd find someone with interests that more closely mirror yours, or learn to be more independent on the weekends as a couple
Honestly, he sounds really immature. In my younger days I might have had the patience to deal with that, but now... yeah, i'd kick him to the curb.
I am married now, and I could not be married to a guy like that.
People can change, but only if they want to do so.... doesn't sound like he's there yet or even in the vicinity. |
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 Sweet Tea
Posts: 3496
Location: Home of the World Famous "Silver Bullet" | movin' on down the road !! |
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 Ms. Manners
Posts: 1820
Location: Oklahoma | There is only so long a person can "work" on a relationship, especially when that person is the only one putting forth any effort. Move out and move on, and focus on improving our own self and life. If he is meant to be, he will come back. Work on yourself, and worry less about having a man around. It will come in time and you will be far better prepared. |
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 Whack and Roll
Posts: 6342
Location: NE Texas | dream_chaser - 2014-07-09 5:07 PM Southtxponygirl - 2014-07-09 3:33 PM He sounds really self centered.  
As hard as it can be to see at times when one is blinded by "love" there are MEN out there who want to spend TIME with their ladies and want to make them happy & respect them! I've been in your shoes OP and if your holding onto the hope he will marry you...sorry but dream on...move on...you deserve better....
And don't believe anyone that tells you he will grow out of it. I was married for 9 years to a man like this. When we met and married (way too young) he was working a full time job and going to college. He took care of business and we were both young, so yes, there was some social partying at the college rodeos at what not. When I graduated I moved to the state he lived in and literally we moved 6 times becuase of what HE wanted to do. With every move he seemed to be less interested in me and more interested in his "boys" and would stay out drinking, roping, etc. I would stay home and do my own thing. It progressively got worse, he rodeod and lived his dream while I sold my horses rodeo when we were strapped for cash. It finally got to the point where I sold my trailer to upgrade and he asked me for the money and told me I could get something to "get me by" and then I found out he was bragging to his friends how i'd given him the money and he was going to pay off his truck/trailer, and then came home at 5 AM drunker than a skunk, when the rodeo he'd been to was less than 10 miles from the house and the bar closes at 1. That was it. I asked him for the check i'd written him and ripped it up into a thousand tiny pieces. Less than 60 days later I pulled into the driveway and he had everything he owned (and part of what I owned) packed in his trailer and he left. I say good riddance! And let me say this.....we didn't have a bad relationship. We never argued, we never fought, he just took me and my generosity for granted and it burned me in the end.
Walk now, dont look back. He will not grow up and he will not change. If he's already pouting because you don't want to go party and drink, it will only get worse. You are not his priority and respect is earned, not given.
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 Veteran
Posts: 135
Location: louisiana | thankyou all for the input, its been goin on for about 4 months now all his friends just got single so they are wanting to live it up an cant manage with out him there unfortunately, he has once told them no they showed up at my house to pick him up since he lives with me. they all have great high payin jobs but still have the frat boy mentality on partying all the time |
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 Expert
Posts: 4121
Location: SE Louisiana | He's just not that into you......and it sounds like he's getting too much of a good thing.
Ditch him. |
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 Expert
Posts: 1857
| you do you and let him do him.... if you guys end up in different places than you know its time to move on. if you don't want to go, then don't go, I wouldn't feel bad about it. Do what makes you happy, if he doesn't want to be a part of it then that'll tell you all you need to know! |
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 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
Location: Kansas |  |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 596
Location: Somewhere in the middle of nowhere | FlyingJT - 2014-07-10 12:13 PM you do you and let him do him.... if you guys end up in different places than you know its time to move on. if you don't want to go, then don't go, I wouldn't feel bad about it. Do what makes you happy, if he doesn't want to be a part of it then that'll tell you all you need to know!
OP, have you ever thought long and hard how many times you actually do what makes you happy and he is with you? |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 330
| jw1990 - 2014-07-10 1:59 PM
thankyou all for the input, its been goin on for about 4 months now all his friends just got single so they are wanting to live it up an cant manage with out him there unfortunately, he has once told them no they showed up at my house to pick him up since he lives with me. they all have great high payin jobs but still have the frat boy mentality on partying all the time
So he's hanging out partying with a bunch of single guys?
Not just "no!" but "hell NO!"
Send him packing. |
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