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| cutnrunqhmt - 2014-08-06 2:35 PM
dianeguinn - 2014-08-06 1:57 PM
I would look him straight in the eye, and say, "If you EVER talk to me again about anything other than work, I will press sexual harassment charges on you." Then I would go back to work and ignore him and if he appears and tries to talk to you about ANYTHING other than something pertaining to work that you and he are both involved in, I would call a lawyer. He sounds like a stalker. This is not something to take lightly. JMO
Get serious with him. I totally agree with this I had a slalker right out of high school and had to get tough to get him gone. Don't take that chance ! I joked about mine because I couldn't figure out why anybody would stalk me I am not that special . He broke into my house, dated my neighbor and made threats to my husband. He was eventually shot and killed by cops years later . So Iam wary of weirdos ! The guy is most likely harmless but needs to know his advances and comments are not welcome in any way. Not trying to be scary either just my story.
Oh my goodness! I'm sorry that happened to you... I just end up feeling guilty, I think that's why I avoid being to direct with him. I think I will get more stern if this continues. It has been a whole hour without him showing up at my office so i'm hoping that my last comments to him he got the idea! |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 1182
Location: Do I hear Banjos? | In his delusional mind...you keep saying..."I can't because I'm married"...what he needs to hear is "I don't like you...leave me alone" Don't make apologies. Don't leave room for interpretation.
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  Fact Checker
Posts: 16575
Location: Displaced Iowegian | FlyingJT - 2014-08-06 2:24 PM I just told him, not 5 minutes ago, that I am very sorry that he is attracted to a married women but I am married, happily with two children for over 10 years, and he is going to have to get over it because there is nothing that will, could, maybe happen. That i'm very sorry to sound mean and that I don't care about his feelings but things need to return back to normal. He said sorry and that one day he hopes that I can tell him the truth about how I feel about him..... awkward!!!!! (I don't understand this guy) He then gave me a hand shake and disappeared! Luckily I'll never have to be alone with this person but unfortunately I'm the only female in my office and I have told one other person and like my husband he thought it was funny and nothing to worry about.. Maybe being a female I look differently at things but I feel like this is something to worry about.
He is NOT going to "get" it....report him!!!! |
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 Horsey Gene Carrier
Posts: 1888
Location: LaBelle, Florida | Report it, and get nasty back at him.
He has crossed a line and if your company doesn't take care of it, report them.
Don't just let this go. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1079
| NJJ - 2014-08-06 3:07 PM FlyingJT - 2014-08-06 2:24 PM I just told him, not 5 minutes ago, that I am very sorry that he is attracted to a married women but I am married, happily with two children for over 10 years, and he is going to have to get over it because there is nothing that will, could, maybe happen. That i'm very sorry to sound mean and that I don't care about his feelings but things need to return back to normal. He said sorry and that one day he hopes that I can tell him the truth about how I feel about him..... awkward!!!!! (I don't understand this guy) He then gave me a hand shake and disappeared! Luckily I'll never have to be alone with this person but unfortunately I'm the only female in my office and I have told one other person and like my husband he thought it was funny and nothing to worry about.. Maybe being a female I look differently at things but I feel like this is something to worry about. He is NOT going to "get" it....report him!!!!
Yep - this went from creepy to psychotic real fast. I have the heebie jeebies from over here. I'd be pissed to have been put in this situation and you NEED to tell this guy off. And tell your supervisor, I think he should borderline lose his job over this. This is not normal behavior at all. |
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Posts: 1304
| Trust me, I know it's hard! I still have a really hard time hurting people's feelings and rarely do. I'm the kind of person that says sorry too much, will do a lot to make someone happy, etc so I totally understand why you may feel bad! But seriously don't. He's a LOSER. Someone who doesn't respect a marriage is dirt and you need to remember that. You can be mean/bitchy to him because HE is DIRT. I'm not married but have been in a long term relationship with my SO and my first semester of college taught me to have a back bone. I led on people simply because I was being nice! Just like you! They'd get the wrong idea and when I saw that, that's when I'd be like um...no..NO. And because I was too nice and wasn't giving them a pretty much flat out f**k off, they didn't get it! The one was old enough to be my dad and I had to block him from my phone! As much as it sounds like it, I'm seriously not naïve but I hate hurting people's feelings and just couldn't stand up for myself. I finally had to and it worked. And it'll keep working. Keep doing it and it'll get easier every time. You might have to just straight up tell him to go screw himself or pick your nose while you know he's looking..do something gross to make him unattracted to you. Lol, jkin. Keep us posted, good luck!! |
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Expert
Posts: 2685
| Referring to the most recent post about his response to your telling him it's not going to happen it all needs to be reported to a supervisor. This sounds like it could turn into a kidnapping real quick. He sounds crazy and dangerous. Please keep in contact with someone going to & from work. Have a thing set up where you text someone or talk on the phone while going to and from your car and carry a weapon. Even a knife. I wouldn't put him nabbing you at the car past him. |
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 Shipwrecked and Flat Out Zapped
Posts: 16390
Location: DUMPING CATS AND PIGS IN TEXAS :) | How old is he? Is he cute? |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 929
| FlyingJT - 2014-08-06 12:24 PM
I just told him, not 5 minutes ago, that I am very sorry that he is attracted to a married women but I am married, happily with two children for over 10 years, and he is going to have to get over it because there is nothing that will, could, maybe happen. That i'm very sorry to sound mean and that I don't care about his feelings but things need to return back to normal. He said sorry and that one day he hopes that I can tell him the truth about how I feel about him..... awkward!!!!! (I don't understand this guy) He then gave me a hand shake and disappeared! Luckily I'll never have to be alone with this person but unfortunately I'm the only female in my office and I have told one other person and like my husband he thought it was funny and nothing to worry about.. Maybe being a female I look differently at things but I feel like this is something to worry about.
It IS something to worry about...and if no one in your office or your husband takes it seriously...I would be on my way to the gun store after work to get a CCW permit and/or a taser for my purse. (I have both, just in case.) it is NOT funny and you are right...if it makes you feel icky or uncomfortable, it is harassment in the eyes of the law. |
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Shipwrecked and Flat Out Zapped
Posts: 16390
Location: DUMPING CATS AND PIGS IN TEXAS :) | I'm just asking disliker. |
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The Resident Destroyer of Liberal Logic
Location: PNW | dianeguinn - 2014-08-06 1:57 PM
I would look him straight in the eye, and say, "If you EVER talk to me again about anything other than work, I will press sexual harassment charges on you." Then I would go back to work and ignore him and if he appears and tries to talk to you about ANYTHING other than something pertaining to work that you and he are both involved in, I would call a lawyer. He sounds like a stalker. This is not something to take lightly. JMO
THIS. He sounds like a looney toon that could go real crazy in a hurry. And tell your husband ASAP.
If I were you, I'd just turn into the biggest biznitch in the world to this guy. No feelings even remotely spared. Lol |
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 That's White "Man" to You
Posts: 5515
| What is your name so that we might recognize you in the news reports? |
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Expert
Posts: 1857
| LRQHS - 2014-08-06 3:42 PM
How old is he? Is he cute?
haha, he's young, I think in late twenties. Should I send him your direction?? |
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The Resident Destroyer of Liberal Logic
Location: PNW | NJJ - 2014-08-06 3:07 PM
FlyingJT - 2014-08-06 2:24 PM I just told him, not 5 minutes ago, that I am very sorry that he is attracted to a married women but I am married, happily with two children for over 10 years, and he is going to have to get over it because there is nothing that will, could, maybe happen. That i'm very sorry to sound mean and that I don't care about his feelings but things need to return back to normal. He said sorry and that one day he hopes that I can tell him the truth about how I feel about him..... awkward!!!!! (I don't understand this guy) He then gave me a hand shake and disappeared! Luckily I'll never have to be alone with this person but unfortunately I'm the only female in my office and I have told one other person and like my husband he thought it was funny and nothing to worry about.. Maybe being a female I look differently at things but I feel like this is something to worry about.
He is NOT going to "get" it....report him!!!!
And that's when you start carrying to work. Text somebody when you get ready to leave your office, then call that same person as soon as you are safely in your car and on your way home - if there's more than 15 minutes between, your contact person should take action. Stalkers are NOT something to take lightly. They can go from a "sad crush that's not going anywhere" to "I'm going to tie you up in my basement until you love me" pretty quickly.
Also, if my husband acted like it was a joke... I'd be FUMING. He needs to watch more Dateline. Or maybe I need to watch less? Either way, take care of yourself, be smart, and BE SAFE. |
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Expert
Posts: 1857
| RodeoCowgirl4u - 2014-08-06 3:42 PM
FlyingJT - 2014-08-06 12:24 PM
I just told him, not 5 minutes ago, that I am very sorry that he is attracted to a married women but I am married, happily with two children for over 10 years, and he is going to have to get over it because there is nothing that will, could, maybe happen. That i'm very sorry to sound mean and that I don't care about his feelings but things need to return back to normal. He said sorry and that one day he hopes that I can tell him the truth about how I feel about him..... awkward!!!!! (I don't understand this guy) He then gave me a hand shake and disappeared! Luckily I'll never have to be alone with this person but unfortunately I'm the only female in my office and I have told one other person and like my husband he thought it was funny and nothing to worry about.. Maybe being a female I look differently at things but I feel like this is something to worry about.
It IS something to worry about...and if no one in your office or your husband takes it seriously...I would be on my way to the gun store after work to get a CCW permit and/or a taser for my purse. (I have both, just in case. ) it is NOT funny and you are right...if it makes you feel icky or uncomfortable, it is harassment in the eyes of the law.
I already carry, and no I didn't go get my ccw, I don't think I need a little piece of paper stating that I can protect myself. The unfortunate thing is that I have to leave it in my car and if they ever find out that it's in my car I would be terminated immediately. It's a weapon free campus. |
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 Ima Fickle Fan
Posts: 3547
Location: Texas | You do NOT have to be nice to someone who is disrespecting you, your marriage, and your children. It's called boundaries and he is crossing the line. I had a friend do this... He also happened to be the police chief on the campus I work at. He made it quite clear that if I ever wanted to have an affair and more, he would be willing. I tried to be nice. Figured out real quick, that does NOT work. Finally told him to lose my cell number, do NOT stop by my office, do NOT contact me, and unfriended him on FB so he couldn't keep tabs on me. I also deactivated a blog I was keeping.
Bottom line - You have to be mean. Think back to when you were younger. ANY time your crush was nice to you, that gave you hope. That is what you being nice or "normal" to him does. Anything other than being mean gives him hope. You need to tell your supervisor what has happened and you need to be mean. |
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 Expert
Posts: 4121
Location: SE Louisiana | Just tell him he needs two more legs, a mane and a tail before you would even consider it...  |
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Shipwrecked and Flat Out Zapped
Posts: 16390
Location: DUMPING CATS AND PIGS IN TEXAS :) | FlyingJT - 2014-08-06 4:01 PM LRQHS - 2014-08-06 3:42 PM How old is he? Is he cute? haha, he's young, I think in late twenties. Should I send him your direction??
I'ma need a picture first.
Tell him that he is "lookin for love in all the wrong places." |
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Expert
Posts: 1857
| Whiteboy - 2014-08-06 3:57 PM
What is your name so that we might recognize you in the news reports?
Lets not think that way.... I'm sure he's just a little self centered, young, and dumb! |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1079
| FlyingJT - 2014-08-06 4:06 PM
Whiteboy - 2014-08-06 3:57 PM
What is your name so that we might recognize you in the news reports?
Lets not think that way.... I'm sure he's just a little self centered, young, and dumb!
ooof girl you are too nice. |
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