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 Regular
Posts: 56
Location: Alberta | I'm only 21 and I know that I don't want kids. I'm fairly certain that most of my little cousins are the spawn of the devil. The rest of them are very well behaved. But even when I was in Jr High my friends would ask me if I wanted kids when I got older and even then my answer was no. Just like everyone else i've had people tell me that I will change my mind as I get older, and I continue to tell them that it won't. I know that my mom would love grand children (she loves spending time with my cousins) but if anyone has a baby its going to be my brother and it will probably be because he knocked up some poor lady friend of his. I just would much rather spend my time and money on my horses and dogs. I find greater joy in spending time with them than a drooling baby with a poopy diaper.
I do have a lot of respect for everyone who has kids or wants kids. They make a lot of sacrifices for their children in order for them to have wonderful lives. I am thankful that my mom and dad had my brother and I, and for all of the hard work that they had put in all through the years so that we were able to play school sports and rodeo. My mom is the hardest working person I know, my dad passed away in 2007 from cancer and my mom still marched on and shortly after that she started her own business so that we could still afford to go to rodeos. So I am very grateful for my mom and dad, but parenting a human baby is just not for me. I'll stick to my fur babies. | |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 678
 
Location: Canada | I NEVER, NEVER, NEVER wanted children. I liked being the center of my universe and spoiling myself whenever I wanted. I was the expensive shoes, purses, manicures and facials type of girl but as usual life had different plans for me. (Caution: you may want to get some crackers for the cheese below)
I had my son when I was 28. Initially being pregnant creeped me out especially the first time he rolled over and my entire front moved but then it sort of became this magical thing between us. Now he's the center of my universe and I wouldn't change it for the world. It is different when it's your own kid and I still don't like other peoples children but every time I look at my son I can get teary (and I'm not a crier) with how much love I have for that boy. He has changed my world for the better and while we have days where being a parent is the most challenging thing in the world there are days that are so flipping magical you can't help but wonder how you got along before.
Now that being said if life hadn't intervened I probably would have never had kids. I can honestly say though if I could go back in time and know exactly how it would turn out I would do EVERYTHING the same :)
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 Toastest with the Mostest
Posts: 5712
Location: That part of Texas | I'll be 37 next month and I can honestly say that I don't think I'll ever 100% be able to truly answer this question even though my body started to when I was 28 (that's when I had about a 1-2 year window to get'r'done before female issues made it impossible). I also fall into that category of not having a mommy-gene in relation to human babies (most literally make me break out in hives) but loving other people's children.
For the most part, I'm happy to be childless and I know that I've made the right decision for me so far. I think that's something that holds true -- where you are at now and being happy with it. Could it change in the future? Sure. Then again, it might not.
As for me, this is about the only thing right now that would make me rethink having kids . . .
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 Owner of a ratting catting machine
Posts: 2258
| When I had a scare and was physically ill until I got confirmation that I wasn't. I threw up all my food and couldn't sleep just from fretting. I just can't handle the idea of being pregnant, and I can make myself cry and get a fast heartbeat just imagining it. Evidently the pregnant thing freaks me out. I turned 30 in June.
I toy with the idea of adopting, but then I look at how much fun I have not putting someone else's needs in front of mine own. My husband has two from the past, and he's finished having kids, though he's open to adoption if I decide I have a need. He's a wonderful Daddy. I get my mom fix and it does nothing but concrete my feelings about no kids, all at the same time, when they're around.
I love my friends kids and spending time with them, but I'm really glad they're not mine. | |
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 Hawty & Nawty
Posts: 20424
| I don't believe for one instant the happiest couples are childless. Where do they come up with this?
I knew I wanted them when they started arriving. I knew I didn't when Walmart clothes wasn't good enough. Then they have the audacity to ask me which ones are my favorite. "I don't like any of you!"
The truth is, I love my babies. Now I have grandbabies and I couldn't imagine life without them. | |
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| I didn't want kids. I had my horses, dogs, husband and life was good. All I wanted to do was run barrels-it was my life. I didn't care for most babies and kids. I got pregnant, had my daughter and now if I ever had to choose between anything and my daughter, I would choose my daughter without a second thought. I would sell every horse and never ride again if I had to. It is pretty neat because after I had my daughter and my priorities got back in the right order, I started having more success with my horses. I was embarrassed as to how selfish and immature I was prior to having my daughter.
With that, kids are not for everyone. They don't ask to be brought in to this world and when they get here they deserve to be given a fair shot and treated like the gift from God that they truly are. There is nothing worse than a parent who feels inconvenienced by their kids. Have kids if you and your husband want them, not for any other reason.
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 I Prefer to Live in Fantasy Land
Posts: 64864
Location: In the Hills of Texas | rachellyn80 - 2014-10-17 1:54 PM Nevertooold - 2014-10-17 1:48 PM It seems everytime they do research on this subject the results are that the happiest couples are childless and I have found that to be true with every couple I know that doesn't have kids.
Personally...There is no way I would want to raise or bring a baby up in our New America. Now...you know how happy I am! ...and I have four of them now, lol. I have a fantastic partner though. That man is head and shoulders above any other I've ever met for helping out with our every day life from cooking, cleaning, and taking care of children. It's a matter of what your relationship is based on, what your goals are, and what your support system consists of. That will be a huge deciding factor in whether you can be a happy productive couple/family with children....should you decide that you want them.
I 100% agree with not having children if you don't want them. I can refer you to several great books to read about the damage that can be done by being raised by an emotionally unavailable mother.
And to address the current state of the world....I hope to raise children that are sympathetic to the needs of others, confident in their own abilities, and can make a difference in the world around them..no matter how small. It is terrifying to raise children knowing that there are any number of dangers out there to take them away from you...but, I can't imagine my life without them.
I was thinking about you as I was typing as I've never known anyone that is so into their children and if there were more people like you and your husband our world would definitely be a lot different. The problem is you two are in the minority. Your family is very blessed. I wish more people were wired like you and your husband. | |
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 I'm Cooler Offline
Posts: 6387
Location: Pacific Northwest | I'm 25 and don't want kids. I don't like them, I don't imagine my future with them, I don't even imagine my future as being MARRIED. I guess I'm strange. | |
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I just read the headlines
Posts: 4483
| RunNitroRun - 2014-10-17 1:58 PM
I NEVER, NEVER, NEVER wanted children. I liked being the center of my universe and spoiling myself whenever I wanted. I was the expensive shoes, purses, manicures and facials type of girl but as usual life had different plans for me. (Caution: you may want to get some crackers for the cheese below)
I had my son when I was 28. Initially being pregnant creeped me out especially the first time he rolled over and my entire front moved but then it sort of became this magical thing between us. Now he's the center of my universe and I wouldn't change it for the world. It is different when it's your own kid and I still don't like other peoples children but every time I look at my son I can get teary (and I'm not a crier) with how much love I have for that boy. He has changed my world for the better and while we have days where being a parent is the most challenging thing in the world there are days that are so flipping magical you can't help but wonder how you got along before.
Now that being said if life hadn't intervened I probably would have never had kids. I can honestly say though if I could go back in time and know exactly how it would turn out I would do EVERYTHING the same :)
His pretty much my experience. I have to add that I have a WONDERFUL husband and while he works a lot when hegot home, the kids were his responsibility while I fixed supper and later rode my horses. | |
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 Thread Killer
Posts: 7545
| I like my fur and feather babies just fine. They don't ask for money, don't cost near as much to raise and care for, don't live too long, and it's actually good if not expected of you to end their suffering when they're in immense pain. I'm not made to be a parent. No, scratch that. I just don't want to be a parent. I need my peace and quiet and that won't be happenin' with children. Don't want the responsibility. Don't want the diapers, the puberty, or sass. There are of course many other good reasons, but I won't bore you with them. I just hate feeling like I have to tell everyone what a horrible person I am and what a horrible parent I'd be to get people to stop bingoing me. Not to mention the "You owe it to your parents. .." No, I don't owe them that. I owe them immense gratitude, being a productive member of society, and just being the best person I can be. They chose to have me. I had no say in the matter and do not think that that kind of life changing decision should be made by anyone other than me./span>
Edited by Just Plain Lucky 2014-10-17 2:54 PM
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 Miss Laundry Misshap
Posts: 5271
| I'm 32 and I don't want kids. My husband and I were 24ish when we got married. We agreed at the time that it would be 1 or none. The older we have gotten, we are to the point none is where we want to be. We love the way our life is and being able to do anything we want to do without much fuss. Once in awhile we have to have someone take care of our dogs, but that's it. | |
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 Jr. Detective
Location: Beggs, OK | Nevertooold - 2014-10-17 2:35 PM rachellyn80 - 2014-10-17 1:54 PM Nevertooold - 2014-10-17 1:48 PM It seems everytime they do research on this subject the results are that the happiest couples are childless and I have found that to be true with every couple I know that doesn't have kids.
Personally...There is no way I would want to raise or bring a baby up in our New America. Now...you know how happy I am! ...and I have four of them now, lol. I have a fantastic partner though. That man is head and shoulders above any other I've ever met for helping out with our every day life from cooking, cleaning, and taking care of children. It's a matter of what your relationship is based on, what your goals are, and what your support system consists of. That will be a huge deciding factor in whether you can be a happy productive couple/family with children....should you decide that you want them.
I 100% agree with not having children if you don't want them. I can refer you to several great books to read about the damage that can be done by being raised by an emotionally unavailable mother.
And to address the current state of the world....I hope to raise children that are sympathetic to the needs of others, confident in their own abilities, and can make a difference in the world around them..no matter how small. It is terrifying to raise children knowing that there are any number of dangers out there to take them away from you...but, I can't imagine my life without them.
Thank you :) We truly enjoy our babies and have gone through a lot to get them here! I read what people write about their horses and their dogs and can absolutely relate...it's just in a different way. Seeing my girls grow up and be happy and successful has been such a blessing and we are just getting started. They are totally different people and each have such a unique way of looking at things and reacting to their experiences.
"Training" them has been more fun for us than many people realize that you can have with kids. I don't "give" them anything, but I never set them up to fail either. My girls trust me when I tell them that they can do something, because so far I have never let them down...and I hope to keep it that way. They don't ride horses that I wouldn't ride myself (with the exception of the notorious Captain Jack) and they work right along side their Daddy and me to keep it all going. | |
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 Strong Willed Woman
Posts: 6577
Location: Prosser, WA | I have kids and thing they are great. They provide endless amounts of entertainment. :). But honestly, if you are not 100% sure that you want them, then don't have any. They are a lot of work. Too many people cave and have kids because they are pressured into it, think it's the "right thing to do", or that it's the "next step in the relationship", or even worse to try to fix their relationship. All horrible reasons to bring a child into the world. | |
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 Husband Spoiler
Posts: 4151
Location: North Dakota | I am 28 and on the fence. Growing up I KNEW I never wanted to have kids (I didn't want to get married until I was 40 but that changed...lol) and then once I met my husband I started thinkg "well maybe..." But I just don't know. He is amazing with kids and would be a wonderful father so it is because of that I would like to make him one but then again I really do not like kids. I never want to hold my friend's babies. I do not oo and ahh over babies. Pregnancy also freaks me out. My husband is perfectly content on not having kids. He tells me he is fine with whatever I decide. We are happy with our lives the way they are. The dogs, cats, and horses are enough responsibility for us...lol. . | |
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 Poor Cracker Girl
Posts: 12150
Location: Feeding mosquitos, FL | Just Bring It - 2014-10-17 4:45 PM I am 28 and on the fence. Growing up I KNEW I never wanted to have kids (I didn't want to get married until I was 40 but that changed...lol) and then once I met my husband I started thinkg "well maybe..." But I just don't know. He is amazing with kids and would be a wonderful father so it is because of that I would like to make him one but then again I really do not like kids. I never want to hold my friend's babies. I do not oo and ahh over babies. Pregnancy also freaks me out. My husband is perfectly content on not having kids. He tells me he is fine with whatever I decide. We are happy with our lives the way they are. The dogs, cats, and horses are enough responsibility for us...lol. .
Girl you took the words right out of my laptop.
I have never wanted kids. My husband has always wanted a herd of kids but he's evolved to one if I'm ever ready for it. If not, he's ok with that too. He's basically perfect. If I could skip the pregnant part, I'd be more inclined. If he would agree to adoption, then I'm in. But dang I don't want to be pregnant and I do not do babies.
One day I'll jump but for now I"m on the fence. | |
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 Ima Fickle Fan
Posts: 3547
Location: Texas | I never ruled kids out. I figured I would have them at some point. I was never the kid person. To this day, kids that aren't mine freak me out. Not in a bad way. It's more along, I spazz out and don't know how to interact with them. My mom was worried about my lack of mommy tendencies until they placed my oldest son in my arms.
As for getting pregnant, it was like a switched flipped in my brain. Baby fever is real. Holy crap. One day I didn't want kids and the next, having a baby was all I could think about.
I now have two little boys. Some may think they're little monsters, but I think of it as training a colt. Nobody gets trained in a day. But they are fun.
I also believe that those who don't want kids shouldn't have them to appease family and society. Kids take a lot of work, money, and love. Being a mom brings a whole new meaning to the term "24/7."
To the OP - I would recommend getting on the same page with your hubby. To me, this is a make or break issue. You don't want him to end up resenting you later on in life. Yes, you both agreed to be DINKS (double income, no kids) in the beginning, but he has changed his mind. I don't know how to get on the same page, but this could become a MAJOR issue. | |
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 Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | TrackinBubba - 2014-10-17 3:54 PM Just Bring It - 2014-10-17 4:45 PM I am 28 and on the fence. Growing up I KNEW I never wanted to have kids (I didn't want to get married until I was 40 but that changed...lol) and then once I met my husband I started thinkg "well maybe..." But I just don't know. He is amazing with kids and would be a wonderful father so it is because of that I would like to make him one but then again I really do not like kids. I never want to hold my friend's babies. I do not oo and ahh over babies. Pregnancy also freaks me out. My husband is perfectly content on not having kids. He tells me he is fine with whatever I decide. We are happy with our lives the way they are. The dogs, cats, and horses are enough responsibility for us...lol. . Girl you took the words right out of my laptop.
I have never wanted kids. My husband has always wanted a herd of kids but he's evolved to one if I'm ever ready for it. If not, he's ok with that too. He's basically perfect. If I could skip the pregnant part, I'd be more inclined. If he would agree to adoption, then I'm in. But dang I don't want to be pregnant and I do not do babies.
One day I'll jump but for now I"m on the fence.
I didn't care for pregnancy, but it was worth the torture. I've never been a baby person either, but it really is different when they're your own. | |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 338
Location: Michigan | I'm 47. Knew from an early age I didn't want kids. I love my nieces & nephews. My fiancé has 2 kids from a previous marriage. I love them too, but the whole baby thing is not for me. I found this article below several months ago. I've been asked or told many of the same statements.
Silly Things People Have Said to Me When I Tell Them I'm Not Having Kids
Posted: 10/21/2013 8:17 am
For TueNight.com by Tamar Anitai There will be no children in my future. Ever.
Yes, I am married. Yes, my husband knows that I do not want children. Yes, we both realize we're extremely fortunate to be able to elect to live child-free. He doesn't want kids either. It's part of the reason I married him. (That, and he has excellent hair.) He married me knowing that and also because I always clean the litter box.
I probably brought up the topic of kids on the second date -- it would have been a deal breaker. My husband would make the world's greatest father. But that alone isn't reason enough for me to become the mother I've never wanted to be, take on crushing financial burden or add more to my already too-full plate.
I love my friends' children. Because I don't have to take care of them. Their cuteness is there to fulfill my need to see cute things. I don't expect them to behave for me, and they don't expect 18 years of dinner from me. I see this as a good setup.
Not only do I not want children, but I think what really blows people's minds is that I've realized I don't need them. Apparently, some people agree with me, and apparently that's national news if the August 12 issue of Time is any indicator: The entire cover story was dedicated to the marvelous epiphany that "having it all" -- whatever that even means -- for some Americans means not having children. We've come far as a country, haven't we, when a well-established journalistic bulwark recognizes that -- gasp -- married couples might actually chose to subvert the cultural paradigm and elect to never need a minivan! What'll they come up with next? Gay people having babies? What sorcery is this?
Listen. I'm being real here: I need my sleep much more than I need children. Does that sound selfish? That's probably because it is! Which is probably one of the top reasons I shouldn't enter into parenthood in the first place. Which is just so funny, because people who have no business being in my business say the darndest things when I tell them I'm not having children. A sampling:
"You should totally do it! It's a blast!"
I bet having a dog is also a blast, but I don't even want the responsibility of caring for a dog. You'd probably talk me out of having a dog I didn't want to care for, so why would you try to talk me into having a human being I don't want to care for?
"You'll change your mind."
This is one of my absolute favorite things that people like to say when I tell them I'm not having children. It's so funny, because it implies they know me better than I know myself. To which I like to respond, "HOORAY! A REAL, LIVE, FREE PSYCHIC! What else can you tell me about myself that I don't know? Will I win the lottery? Will I ever finally lose those last, stubborn five pounds, or should I just give up? Also, how will the final season of "Mad Men" end?? Will we ever find out what really happened on the final scene of The Sopranos? What other secrets of the universe are you hiding in that magical brain of yours?"
"But what will you do when you're old?"
Um, let's see... hopefully spend the savings account that I didn't drain on summer camp and braces and college on traveling the world, all while dressed like Bea Arthur in "The Golden Girls." Playing shuffleboard. Hopefully.
"You'll just figure out a way to afford it."
LOL. Oh GOD you are just the funniest thing! Truly, a hoot! You're a stand-up comic, right? What's funny about that bullshit is that someone probably shared the same Pollyanna-ish platitude with the millions of people in this country who couldn't afford kids when they started out and still -- even with college educations and decent jobs -- never managed to "just figure out a way to afford it." The other thing that's funny is that this is another of the benefits of not having kids -- you never have to figure out a way to afford it.
"But what if you regret never having your own kids?"
I'd rather regret never having children than have children and regret it.
"But you'll never know happiness like the happiness of being a parent."
I'll also never know what it's like to have a penis. Or be Cuban! Or be able to dunk a basketball on the 1992 Olympic Dream Team. I'll also never know what it's like to change a fetid diaper or what it's like to have a teenager who devotes months, if not years to hating me, followed by decades of passively resenting me. Thank you for your genuine concern regarding the status of my happiness, Deepak Chopra, but as a genuinely content person, I'm living proof that happiness isn't just reserved for parents and that it's possible to know happiness without venturing into parenthood. I love it here on the sandy child-free beach upon which I'm currently sunning.
"Why wouldn't you want to have children if your body is capable of it?"
Yes, someone actually said this to me. My body's also capable of having a gang bang, but I'm definitely not boarding that bus. So I'm not even honoring that with a response. The side eye was invented for this occasion.
"Good for you!"
Thank you. Can't say I disagree. | |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 399
| So I will be the Odd one out.. I NEVER wanted children.. EVER they terrify me, the still do terrify me. BUT I have seen how my husband is AMAZING with children and he would like at least one. The fear of pregnancy, labor and all of that is literally TERRIFYING BUT, I am willing to have them for my husband. Mostly because he will be an AMAZING father. So I am almost willing to put all of my fears aside and push through it for him. NOW when I eventually am having a baby and FREAKING out when I am Pregnant someone can tell me how I knew I would be this scared lol. | |
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Hawty & Nawty
Posts: 20424
| EmtRoper - 2014-10-18 2:45 PM So I will be the Odd one out.. I NEVER wanted children.. EVER they terrify me, the still do terrify me. BUT I have seen how my husband is AMAZING with children and he would like at least one. The fear of pregnancy, labor and all of that is literally TERRIFYING BUT, I am willing to have them for my husband. Mostly because he will be an AMAZING father. So I am almost willing to put all of my fears aside and push through it for him. NOW when I eventually am having a baby and FREAKING out when I am Pregnant someone can tell me how I knew I would be this scared lol.
The way you wrote this already tells me you would be a compassionate mother. | |
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