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 Good Grief!
Posts: 6343
   
Location: Cap'n Joan Rotgut.....alberta | id buy her a condom tree.......lol
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 Party Girl
Posts: 12293
Location: Buffalo, Wyoming | I can see having a baby shower for any child after the first if they are of different gender. But I would only see giving maybe clothes and diapers as most things from the previous child could be used again.
My best friend had a little boy while we were in High School, he is now 12 I believe. She did not have her second (which was also a boy) until 10 years later. I can see having another shower or something for a second child in this case as I am sure most people would have gotten rid of most things and most things have changed in 10 years and won't be safe. |
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 Expert
Posts: 1898
| UTAHCANCHASER - 2015-02-25 9:39 AM
I can see having a baby shower for any child after the first if they are of different gender. But I would only see giving maybe clothes and diapers as most things from the previous child could be used again.
My best friend had a little boy while we were in High School, he is now 12 I believe. She did not have her second (which was also a boy) until 10 years later. I can see having another shower or something for a second child in this case as I am sure most people would have gotten rid of most things and most things have changed in 10 years and won't be safe. Â
I agree with this.
Years between children and medical issues would warrant a second, third or fourth shower. |
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 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
Location: Kansas | mruggles - 2015-02-25 9:36 AM id buy her a condom tree.......lol
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OMG!! hahahaha  |
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | How far apart are her kids? If they are close like 2 years apart, nawww I would not go and since its her fourth she should have plenty of clothes, toys, bottles. Seems tacky to me to give yourself a baby shower and expect gifts, if she wanted a party she should have a welcome new baby and just have finger foods and drinks to cerebrate the new baby with no gifts. But to throw your own babyshower sounds weird to me.  |
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 Thread Killer
Posts: 7545
| UTAHCANCHASER - 2015-02-25 10:39 AM
I can see having a baby shower for any child after the first if they are of different gender. But I would only see giving maybe clothes and diapers as most things from the previous child could be used again.
My best friend had a little boy while we were in High School, he is now 12 I believe. She did not have her second (which was also a boy) until 10 years later. I can see having another shower or something for a second child in this case as I am sure most people would have gotten rid of most things and most things have changed in 10 years and won't be safe. Â
 I agree with this. My aunt and uncle were surprised with baby #3 when my cousins were 15 and 19. Their baby stuff was LONG gone by that time so she had a shower (she didn't want one lol). In this circumstances, I understand it. For your 4th kid in a row...I dunno |
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 Expert
Posts: 1367
Location: mi | Keep in mind I am crabby cuz its the second coldest February on record for our state. But NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If she wants to have 4 kids she had better be able to afford to purchase the items needed for the 4th kid. No matter what gender. If she can't afford to go buy diapers and some new clothes she should not have gotten pregnant. I mostly agree with giving her a condom tree!
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 Cute Little Imp
Posts: 2747
Location: N Texas | EqualRanch - 2015-02-25 7:37 AM
 Some people just feel the need to make a production out of everything.Â
Exactly!
I'm getting married, so I'm having 64506808 showers so EVERYONE I've ever met in my whole life can buy me something! Then you better bring another present to the wedding!
Then after getting pregnant, I'm sending Pinterest worthy pregnancy announcements with sonogram pics to every person I've ever met, then I'm having a gender reveal party so people can pretend they give a rat's @$$ what the heck is growing in my belly, then I'll have 40564065 baby showers so that I can get enough presents to stock an entire Babies R Us!
When that baby finally comes, you better believe I'm getting a big, fat push present from my hubby! And everyone better drop what they're doing to come fawn over me and the baby the moment it pops out!
Then I'm making my baby a cake to celebrate every single month it's alive until the BIG FIRST BIRTHDAY!! OMG it's going to be epic! I'm spending at least $1k so that my baby (who really has NO clue what's going on) can have a bounce-house, face-painter, pony rides, clown, magician, and pretty much anything I can throw my money at, because heaven forbid I forget ANYTHING! You're not a good mom if you don't go completely overboard with EVERYTHING!! I'm also inviting 500 people, because who would want to miss my precious snowflakes birthday!! NO ONE!!
And if you don't show up to any of these events, then just don't bother talking to me ever again because you clearly don't realize how lucky you are that I'm your friend, and it's just appalling that anyone could possibly not comprehend the awesomeness that is my life!
Ok, rant over :) To the OP, yes, that is beyond tacky to have a shower for a fourth child, especially if she already has a child of that same sex. I know a girl who had girls 11 months apart and had showers for each one. Actually, she threw herself the second one. Hello, you should still have EVERYTHING from the first child you JUST had! It really has gotten to where manners and etiquette are not even considered. If you're having a baby, you're getting a shower! I mean come on, if you don't have a shower for every single child, you clearly don't love that child as much as the others! Duh! 
Several years ago I was friends with a girl who went WAY overboard with her wedding stuff. She had several showers, including multiple bridal showers, a couple lingerie showers, and even a stock-the-bar shower, so her guests could buy the couple liquor and stuff for their house. Her bachelorette party was in New York, so all the bridesmaids had to shell out money for that too! It was really ridiculous how important she thought her wedding was, as if no one in history before her had gotten married.
Some women really act like they're the only ones to ever experience that stuff.
If someone is having a shower or event that I don't agree with, I just don't go!
Edited by Gunner11 2015-02-25 10:23 AM
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Cute Little Imp
Posts: 2747
Location: N Texas | mruggles - 2015-02-25 9:36 AM
id buy her a condom tree.......lol
mÂ
I REALLY wanted to anonymously send some condoms to a girl who clearly didn't understand how babies were made...no job, husband doesn't make much money, they can't afford anything, but had two "surprise" babies.
I've actually heard of women who have babies just because they like the attention they get while they're pregnant and have a newborn. |
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 Expert
Posts: 3782
Location: Gainesville, TX | I've heard of "diaper parties" where they visit with friends and family and everyone just brings something that has to be replaced often like baby shampoo or wipes or diapers. I don't think something like that is tacky, or if its another sex or been a number of years. But . . . what you said . . . yeah, that's a bit silly. |
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 Can You Hear Me Now?
Location: When you hit the middle of nowhere .. Keep driving | Griz - 2015-02-25 5:32 AM
I think after the first kid, they are being greedy unless the second is a different sex, then maybe I can see it. I'm kind of the same way with birthday parties, I can see one for the first, maybe 5th and 10th but EVERY year?? - Or is that just me being rude?
I agree one shower and that should be it... IMO. A few friends and I did have a small baby shower for another friend recently when she was pregnant with her second child but it was justified I think. She had given up after 5 miscarriages and got rid of all her stuff, then wham when she least expected it she gets pregnant and everything works out (she's due in march). She's beyond ecstatic but isn't prepared and has to buy everything again. |
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 Expert
Posts: 3815
Location: The best kept secret in TX | My Momma had to have one for every child just because of how we are spaced. My brother, 14 months later I accidentally happened to appear, then 12 years later my sister, two years later my brother. Bless her heart she hated every single one of them!! Except my oldest brother. he was the chosen child. (planned)
We had the showers at our church, thrown by the ladies in the church. We had no idea we were having the last two showers for her until we walked in, saw all the gifts and decorations and were like... Uhhh.... We should've pulled the trailer today instead of taken the car...
LOL the ladies were WAY too excited. We got so much stuff my siblings grew too fast to wear most of the clothes... So we re-gifted a LOT |
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 Expert
Posts: 1210
Location: Kansas | I've never looked at a baby shower as a way to get gifts... I've always thought it was just a celebration of a baby to come. I expect girls to have a baby shower for each kid. Planning it for yourself, though? Tacky. |
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 Firecracker Dog Lover
Posts: 3175
| I got an invite for one I just threw into the trash for husband's cousin's daughter - who we haven't seen in over 10 years. She is 18, giving the shower for herself, works 1 day a week and the sperm donor is "laid off" and he made it clear through 8th grade. In addition to your gift the invitation requested diapers to form a diaper pyramid. WTH? She thought it would be cool to have a baby and doesn't need to work becuase she gets a check from the state. SMH - I did consider sending a card that says, "I am going to work, you're welcome." but I refrained. |
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Expert
Posts: 3815
Location: The best kept secret in TX | brlraceaddict - 2015-02-25 11:31 AM I got an invite for one I just threw into the trash for husband's cousin's daughter - who we haven't seen in over 10 years. She is 18, giving the shower for herself, works 1 day a week and the sperm donor is "laid off" and he made it clear through 8th grade. In addition to your gift the invitation requested diapers to form a diaper pyramid. WTH? She thought it would be cool to have a baby and doesn't need to work becuase she gets a check from the state. SMH - I did consider sending a card that says, "I am going to work, you're welcome." but I refrained.
Haha! Can I send one too?! |
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The Resident Destroyer of Liberal Logic
Location: PNW | If this were any of the scenarios that have been put out here (different gender, long spacing, etc.) I would be MORE than happy to go and spoil the crap out of her and the new munchkin. But it's not. The daughters are 7, 4, 2, and still cooking.
This is just the feather in the irritation cap these people have put on my head over the last year. They are constantly whining that they are broke, have leased land from us to run animals on (PAID WAY LATE, like MONTHS), have taken TWO vacations (Hawaii and somewhere on the East coast), constantly are making comments about how they wish THEY could afford horses... Newsflash: YOU CAN. You just have to stop with the bs. The last "vacation" I took was my wedding night. I chose to only have TWO children because that is the number my husband and I feel we can EASILY support financially without having to make huge spending changes (like giving up my horses). I'm not saying that they need to choose fun over children - I would just like them to stop friggin whining about it.
And unfortunately, not going really isn't an option. It is a VERY small town, and my absence WOULD be noticed and then inquired on. It will be easier to just go and take her a bag of diapers and pack of wipes. These people just really bring out my inner jerkface and I struggle to control my sarcasm and snark. Pooh.
Thanks everybody for letting me gripe. Maybe I will anonymously donate a box of condoms - that is what my husband suggested I get her also.lol |
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The Resident Destroyer of Liberal Logic
Location: PNW | HarlanLivesOn - 2015-02-25 11:19 AM
I've never looked at a baby shower as a way to get gifts... I've always thought it was just a celebration of a baby to come. I expect girls to have a baby shower for each kid. Planning it for yourself, though? Tacky.
The whole point of any shower is to be "showered with gifts" - which is totally fine for your first child, or any of the other situations that have been presented here. If "shower" is the description of the party it is intended that guests bring a gift of some sort.
If parents would just like to have a celebration for the baby, the word "shower" needs to be left off of any and all invitation materials. Just have a BBQ and have a cake that says "Welcome Baby!" or something.
And for goodness sake you don't host your OWN shower. Any of them. Showers are a gift from the host/hostess - not a requirement.
And like in my previous post, these people have just really rubbed me the wrong way in the last year or so - so I am especially grumpy about it. |
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 Chicken Chick
Posts: 3562
Location: Texas | My son was 10 when I had my daughter... so I had to start all over. Someone threw me baby shower's for both. I got smart this time and I am saving all of my daughter's stuff for the next girl. In our family we do some sort of party for every pregnancy, no matter how many kids they have. If they are new parents they get a ton, and if not people bring smaller things or diapers.
Oh and I will not register for a baby shower. My mom begged me to last time and I refused. It just seems like I am begging for stuff. If you want to get me something, get something you think is cute or I may need. Don't feel obligated because it was on some list.
I don't think we had to go out and buy 1 thing for my daughter that we "needed".
ETA: They aren't always called Baby Showers. Sometimes it is a Diaper Party or something like that. Sometimes it is Oh crap she had the baby and it wasn't a girl!!! lol
Edited by pinx05 2015-02-25 11:53 AM
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The Resident Destroyer of Liberal Logic
Location: PNW | ndiehl - 2015-02-25 10:44 AM
Griz - 2015-02-25 5:32 AM
I think after the first kid, they are being greedy unless the second is a different sex, then maybe I can see it. I'm kind of the same way with birthday parties, I can see one for the first, maybe 5th and 10th but EVERY year?? - Or is that just me being rude?
I agree one shower and that should be it... IMO. A few friends and I did have a small baby shower for another friend recently when she was pregnant with her second child but it was justified I think. She had given up after 5 miscarriages and got rid of all her stuff, then wham when she least expected it she gets pregnant and everything works out (she's due in march ). She's beyond ecstatic but isn't prepared and has to buy everything again.
That is awesome! Congrats to her! And you guys are awesome friends for throwing her a shower. That is indeed a wonderful reason! |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1094
Location: Idahome | svincent - 2015-02-25 10:43 AM If this were any of the scenarios that have been put out here (different gender, long spacing, etc.) I would be MORE than happy to go and spoil the crap out of her and the new munchkin. But it's not. The daughters are 7, 4, 2, and still cooking. This is just the feather in the irritation cap these people have put on my head over the last year. They are constantly whining that they are broke, have leased land from us to run animals on (PAID WAY LATE, like MONTHS), have taken TWO vacations (Hawaii and somewhere on the East coast), constantly are making comments about how they wish THEY could afford horses... Newsflash: YOU CAN. You just have to stop with the bs. The last "vacation" I took was my wedding night. I chose to only have TWO children because that is the number my husband and I feel we can EASILY support financially without having to make huge spending changes (like giving up my horses). I'm not saying that they need to choose fun over children - I would just like them to stop friggin whining about it. And unfortunately, not going really isn't an option. It is a VERY small town, and my absence WOULD be noticed and then inquired on. It will be easier to just go and take her a bag of diapers and pack of wipes. These people just really bring out my inner jerkface and I struggle to control my sarcasm and snark. Pooh. Thanks everybody for letting me gripe. Maybe I will anonymously donate a box of condoms - that is what my husband suggested I get her also.lol
I feel like you may be coming down the a bug, the flu or a bad cold, maybe even a migrane on the day this is supposed to happen. |
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