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 I Prefer to Live in Fantasy Land
Posts: 64864
    
Location: In the Hills of Texas | Hugs....Our dad was in great physical health also when he got this horrible disease. | |
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 The Vaccinator
Posts: 3810
Location: Slipping down the slope of old age. Boo hoo. | Hugs and prayers for all who are making the terrible journey with loved ones. We watched my smart, kind, considerate grandfather bein g taken by this horrible disease. He became very mean, violent toward loved ones -- very paranoid. When the sun went down he became restless and anxious. It was a horrid journey and he had to have 24 hour care to assure his safety. A dear friend endured losing both her parents and now....her husband has it. It is very difficult and please try to obtain as much help and assistance as you can find and afford. Ask for help when you need it -- it is amazing how friends will step up if they are asked and truly know what is happening. You are not alone.
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 My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | Swannranch - 2015-10-15 7:09 PM
I just lost my Mom on Sunday. She was diagnosed 10 years ago and very very physically healthy. Her personality changed drasticaly after a few years.
She even became mean, which in my life, she never EVER was. We did small things, my brother put a switch on the car up under the dashboard, she would insist she wanted to go somewhere...we would hand her the keys. It would crank, but never catch and it worked for about 6 months to settle her down.
You can not reason with them...it's not possible. You need to find a very good support group and will probably require placement sooner than later.
We tried to keep my Mom at home, and we did for as long as possible. I have a horrible story I have posted before about how my Mom ended up in placement.
My heart is broken and I miss my Mom with every thing in me. She was my best friend. "Mom" has been gone a long time now, but losing her was much more painful than I thought it would be.
Please seek help from people with experience. If someone has never been through it, they rarely understand.. Especially when they seem so normal to the world...there was a time I thought that was the worst. But I was wrong.
Remember it is a MENTAL illness, not just forgetfulness. It is so easy to get overwhelmed and angry.
So sorry for your loss. Your mom sounds so much like my grandmother---she got almost viscous, which was a side she never had before the disease took hold. She wouldn't even say sh-t, but before the end she could cuss you like a sailor for no reason at all. My family was blessed enough to be able to keep Mammaw at home until two days before she died, but it was horrible to watch the downward spiral. It is a heartbreaking disease. And the caregivers often get overlooked and don't have the ability to take the time they need for themselves.
To the OP, I am so sorry you're going through this ordeal. Many prayers for you and your loved one. The advice you've been given covers anything I would have said. The "sundowners" part and not sleeping/ sleeping too much were both things Mammaw went through, as well as losing interest in food and drinks. We can put folks on the moon, seems like we could find a cure for this devastating disease. . . .
Edited by Chandler's Mom 2015-10-17 9:38 PM
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  Extreme Veteran
Posts: 403
Location: Armuchee, GA, NW section of Ga | Terrible disease because it truly can be the long goodbye. My mom left about two years before her body actually did. When her body actually died, it was a relief for her......and my dad. If she was in her old normal mind, she would have been so embarrassed about how & what she had become. Sad for all because the memories are sweeter than real life. | |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 432
Location: Tennessee | I worked with Alzheimer patients for over 10 years before I switched careers. First, like many have said, there is no reasoning, so don't waste your time/breath. Attempting to reason with someone with Alzheimer's only leads to frustration on both your part and hers. Second, you said she is currently in a LTC facility, is it strictly a long-term care facility (nursing home), or one that specializes in Alzheimer patients, or at least has an Alzheimer wing? From someone that was in the medical field, all LTC facilities are not built or managed the same. You honestly need to find a facility that specializes in Alzheimer patients, or at the very least has a dedicated Alzheimer wing. The importance of this is that the nurses and techs will be specifically trained for dealing with an Alzheimer patient (which can in turn educate you), as well as have additional safeguards in place to prevent elopement. Not all medical personnel understand how to or like working with Alzheimer patients. I absolutely loved it, but many of my co-workers dreaded having an Alzheimer patient, and because of that did not work well with them. These type of facilities will also have activities planned which will help keep her from getting bored, but will still be safe. Lastly, as far as family is concerned, getting her in an Alzheimer facility will help with that as well. Education is key. Attempt to have a sit down with your family, and if that doesn't work, then allow the facility and nurses to educate them. Please feel free to reach out for more information if you'd like. Good luck, and prayers, as I know it's not easy.
Edited for spelling.
Edited by kdb2qq 2015-10-18 7:29 PM
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Member
Posts: 26
| There is a wonderful book called Take Your Oxygen First by Leeza Gibbons which chronicles her experience dealing with her mother who had Alheimer's.
I am currently going through this with my own mother. She now resides in a memory care facility. As others have stated, this is a terrible disease. | |
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"Heck's Coming With Me"
Posts: 10797
Location: Kansas | If this happens to me, I plan to kill myself.
I've seen all of it I can stand and what it does to people. | |
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