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 Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
   
Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | Murphy - 2016-01-04 12:15 PM hoofs_in_motion - 2016-01-04 1:02 PM Am I the only person that thinks it's creepy she's holding her dad's hand at 15 years old?
Definitely a counselor.
My 15 (soon to be 16 year old) niece is kinda like that also. She has massive daddy issues though. She'll look for attention anywhere. IMO, yes, it's creepy. I also think it's creepy when teenagers and adults call their fathers "Daddy".
I also suggest a counselor. Take her when you have her, it's better than nothing. This isn't a phase.
Daddy is normal here. Anything else is weird. |
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Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | And I would definitely get her to a counselor. |
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 Expert
Posts: 3815
 
Location: The best kept secret in TX | Counselor. Way weird. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 915
Location: SE KS | Southtxponygirl - 2016-01-04 12:27 PM
Murphy - 2016-01-04 12:15 PM hoofs_in_motion - 2016-01-04 1:02 PM Am I the only person that thinks it's creepy she's holding her dad's hand at 15 years old?
Definitely a counselor.
My 15 (soon to be 16 year old) niece is kinda like that also. She has massive daddy issues though. She'll look for attention anywhere. IMO, yes, it's creepy. I also think it's creepy when teenagers and adults call their fathers "Daddy".
I also suggest a counselor. Take her when you have her, it's better than nothing. This isn't a phase.
Yep still call him daddy!!!! |
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 Warrior Mom
Posts: 4400
| She calls him dad or daddy... I didn't ever find that odd.. my hubby still refers to his dad as daddy... |
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 Veteran
Posts: 138
Location: MS | Murphy - 2016-01-04 12:43 PM
Southtxponygirl - 2016-01-04 1:27 PM Murphy - 2016-01-04 12:15 PM hoofs_in_motion - 2016-01-04 1:02 PM Am I the only person that thinks it's creepy she's holding her dad's hand at 15 years old?
Definitely a counselor.
My 15 (soon to be 16 year old) niece is kinda like that also. She has massive daddy issues though. She'll look for attention anywhere. IMO, yes, it's creepy. I also think it's creepy when teenagers and adults call their fathers "Daddy".
I also suggest a counselor. Take her when you have her, it's better than nothing. This isn't a phase.
I am the same way...37 years old and my Dad (even sounds weird referring to him as Dad) is my Daddy and always will be! My siblings are in their 50s and all call him Daddy. My stepdaughter is 19 and also calls my husband Daddy. It's normal so must be a demographic thing. |
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Expert
Posts: 3147
| Southtxponygirl - 2016-01-04 12:27 PM
Murphy - 2016-01-04 12:15 PM hoofs_in_motion - 2016-01-04 1:02 PM Am I the only person that thinks it's creepy she's holding her dad's hand at 15 years old?
Definitely a counselor.
My 15 (soon to be 16 year old) niece is kinda like that also. She has massive daddy issues though. She'll look for attention anywhere. IMO, yes, it's creepy. I also think it's creepy when teenagers and adults call their fathers "Daddy".
I also suggest a counselor. Take her when you have her, it's better than nothing. This isn't a phase.
I, also, called my dad Daddy til the day he died-raised in Texas, too. |
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Expert
Posts: 3815
Location: The best kept secret in TX | lhighquality - 2016-01-04 3:58 PM Southtxponygirl - 2016-01-04 12:27 PM Murphy - 2016-01-04 12:15 PM hoofs_in_motion - 2016-01-04 1:02 PM Am I the only person that thinks it's creepy she's holding her dad's hand at 15 years old?
Definitely a counselor.
My 15 (soon to be 16 year old) niece is kinda like that also. She has massive daddy issues though. She'll look for attention anywhere. IMO, yes, it's creepy. I also think it's creepy when teenagers and adults call their fathers "Daddy".
I also suggest a counselor. Take her when you have her, it's better than nothing. This isn't a phase. Yep still call him daddy!!!!
OT but I call mine Daddy as well. It usually sounds like DIDdy because of my accent tho. My family has roots in Louisiana and East Texas. I'm in North Texas and was in Oklahoma before that and people look at me weird all the time because of my accent. Especially when I use "big" words along with my accent. Totally throws them LOL |
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 No Tune in a Bucket
Posts: 2935
Location: Texas | Three 4 Luck - 2016-01-04 2:15 PM Murphy - 2016-01-04 12:15 PM hoofs_in_motion - 2016-01-04 1:02 PM Am I the only person that thinks it's creepy she's holding her dad's hand at 15 years old?
Definitely a counselor.
My 15 (soon to be 16 year old) niece is kinda like that also. She has massive daddy issues though. She'll look for attention anywhere. IMO, yes, it's creepy. I also think it's creepy when teenagers and adults call their fathers "Daddy".
I also suggest a counselor. Take her when you have her, it's better than nothing. This isn't a phase.
Still think it strange that a teenage girl holds her daddy's hand. I have teenage granddaughters and it is not happening.
Edited by RocketPilot 2016-01-04 5:50 PM
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 The Vaccinator
Posts: 3810
Location: Slipping down the slope of old age. Boo hoo. | Am I the only one wondering why Daddy does not set some boundaries regarding this behavior? IMHO, he should step up as her father and let her know what is - and is not - appropriate displays of affection with dear old dad. |
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 Porta Potty Pants
Posts: 2600
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 927
Location: Iowa | Something has her feeling really insecure. Keep prying and be an keep reassuring her that you are there for her. Is there one on one time for her dad and her? He needs to be the one to tell her what is appropriate touch and "not at your age" touch with her dad. It will come out what happened or what is bothering her, but it might take lots of time.
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Common Sense and then some
Location: So. California | want2chase3 - 2016-01-04 6:38 AM This is totally off topic and personal but I'm at a total loss on how to handle this or really even how to feel about it. I've got a 15 year old step daughter been married to her dad for 5 years for the most part we all get along pretty well... she lives with her mother and visits us every other weekend. Mom is remarried ( I have to add this is husband # 2 for her since her and my husband quit) anyway, I've noticed the last few visits she's been acting extremely and overly affectionate towards her dad... holding hands in the grocery store in the truck keeping her hand on his thigh when sitting next to him laying her head on his shoulders rubbing his arms and massaging shoulders any chance she gets... she hasn't exhibited this kind of affection before... just lately. . I talked to my husband about it last night and told him my concerns and he actually agreed with me and admitted it is making him uncomfortable because it's so over the top with her ... enough that even my 10 year old daughter noticed and said something to me. We discussed the possibility of something inappropriate going on at her home .... she acted out several months ago at the home of her mother's boyfriend before they got married... she took a butcher knife and stabbed all his kitchen cabinets . We confronted her and she blamed it on being bullied at school. My husband has asked her about it and she always says everything's fine nothings wrong... I've had to block and put a pass code on our tv because I've caught her watching inappropriate movies and shows before.. she also lost her cell phone privilege by her mother because she got caught "sexting" with a boy from school. So yes there are HUGE red flags popping up.. we are at a loss on how to handle this. My husband thinks he can take her to a doctor to find out if anything is going on but I don't think that'll work and she won't ever admit to anything , IF in fact there is anything ...
Huge red flags.
I hope what you meant was that you sat down and talked to her, not "confronted" her...
stabbing kitchen cabinets is not normal behavior. Something is seriously going on, and she is screaming for help by acting out. Is there a trusted family member (adult) that she is comfortable talking to? If not, it may take a bit of trying to get out what she holding inside. Whether that is a counselor, therapist, intervention specialist. This person should also be female... I'm sending prayers your way!!  |
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 My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | Southtxponygirl - 2016-01-04 12:27 PM
Murphy - 2016-01-04 12:15 PM hoofs_in_motion - 2016-01-04 1:02 PM Am I the only person that thinks it's creepy she's holding her dad's hand at 15 years old?
Definitely a counselor.
My 15 (soon to be 16 year old) niece is kinda like that also. She has massive daddy issues though. She'll look for attention anywhere. IMO, yes, it's creepy. I also think it's creepy when teenagers and adults call their fathers "Daddy".
I also suggest a counselor. Take her when you have her, it's better than nothing. This isn't a phase.
My daddy has always been "Daddy" to me. I feel like this----any man can be a father but it takes someone special to be a "daddy". But maybe it is a southern thing!!!!
Mine comes out "Diddy" too sometimes!
Edited by Chandler's Mom 2016-01-04 8:27 PM
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 Don't Wanna Make This Awkward
Posts: 3106
Location: Texas | Do you and her have a good relationship? Do you have anything, maybe something from your teenage years you could open up to her about? That could get her talking? It might take a while but building a strong relationship and being a shoulder to lean on may help. Or find her a good counselor. I understond it could be hard if she opens up to you on figuring out what to do. Could you run a background chack on the mothers husband? Just see if anything bad comes up. Is her mother abusive? Something could have happened with a boy at school. 15 is a hard age, you don't understand what love is, but you think you do, and you think the boys at school actually "care" and it's all really just one big mess.
There are so many things that "could be" the problem. It may actually be a simple fix, you never. I had a friend that was raped by a stranger in her back yard when she was 14 and she only told 2 people, me and her other friend, and she was a mess. Attempted suicide, ranaway, into some hard drugs, she was always with a new guy. She has her life sorted out now but it was a long road. |
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Veteran
Posts: 285
| I would get the mom, you, and your husband together and calmy talk about what's going on. You said mom isn't the easiest person to get along with, but hopefully since you are concerned about her daughter, you guys can talk. If things start getting heated, just remind everyone that you all love this girl and are worried about her. Are you sure she's not lovey dovey on dad to try upset you? Whatever the case, it is inappropriate and she does need someone she can talk to. She might not want to talk, but there is a reason behind her behavior. Teenage years are hard. Trying to grow up, mood swings, crushing on boys, girl stuff, and feeling like nobody understands. Have you personally asked her yourself why she's being that way with dad? She might just tell you or might get mad but it might just make her feel like someone cares. I suggest talking to her, not about the problem but school, friends, and kind of lead up to it. Maybe mention that she seems different lately. If she doesn't say anything just let her think about it and she just might tell you.
Sorry, I feel like I wrote a book. Good luck to you and let us know what happens. Hugs and Prayers!!! |
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Veteran
Posts: 285
| Chandler's Mom - 2016-01-04 8:18 PM
Southtxponygirl - 2016-01-04 12:27 PM
Murphy - 2016-01-04 12:15 PM hoofs_in_motion - 2016-01-04 1:02 PM Am I the only person that thinks it's creepy she's holding her dad's hand at 15 years old?
Definitely a counselor.
My 15 (soon to be 16 year old) niece is kinda like that also. She has massive daddy issues though. She'll look for attention anywhere. IMO, yes, it's creepy. I also think it's creepy when teenagers and adults call their fathers "Daddy".
I also suggest a counselor. Take her when you have her, it's better than nothing. This isn't a phase.
My daddy has always been "Daddy" to me. I feel like this----any man can be a father but it takes someone special to be a "daddy". But maybe it is a southern thing!!!!
Mine comes out "Diddy" too sometimes!
I call my dad daddy and my mom momma. Sounds great with my oakie accent ;) |
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 Sorry I don't have any advice
Posts: 1975
Location: Sunnyland Florida |
I agree with many of the others, please continue to pursue this through counseling or other source(s) until she concurs. She needs and deserves help to get through this and understand it's not normal behavior.
Then, the most important part starts - reporting it immediately to the authorities and letting justice be served upright to the sorry SOB, who is most likely the Mother's boyfriend/husband, or one of the past husbands. This person needs to be labeled "child sex offender" so other girls may be spared in the future.
God bless your family, prayers for you all to get through this.
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Addicted to Baseball
Location: Where the stars at night are big and bright, TX | My husband is a child and adolescent psychologist and he read this. These are the kinds of kids he works with on a daily basis. He feels she's become sexualized somewhere. That you and your husband should sit down with her, not in attack or interrogation mode, and he should say something like, "hey sis, I love you to death but this kind of touching is making me uncomfortable - and if someone ever/is making you uncomfortable, I want you to tell me." Have another talk about good touch/bad touch. Don't let the younger one go on and see how she's expressing herself. Not addressing it is condoning it.
If you feel the mom would think you're overreacting, my first thought would be she's had a creepy boyfriend who has made moves on the girl. Girls don't learn to be man pleasers like that just right out of the thin blue air. That reactivity with the knife and cupboards is a typical frustration action by a teen/child who can't share/process what's going on with her. Kids and teens aren't yet equipped to fully process their feelings into words or correct emotions, so being so reactive is not abnormal but it sure sounds like she may have an ugly secret she isn't able to properly express. |
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 I Chore in Chucks
Posts: 2882
Location: MD | She's got something going on somewhere.
she's at the age of sexual discovery, school pressures, huge changes in her own body AND home life from where she spends the majority of her time has been erratic. Does she have a boyfriend, or is she involved with any significant boys? The fact that she took a knife and stabbed something is a flag enough alone... she may have some hormonal issues- maybe she's getting picked on at school- maybe there might be some really wrong things going on at moms house or within a relationship that she's in.... either way, time to get her help. counselor... and I would suggest not sitting in and letting her express herself to the counselor alone. The likelihood that she'd actually be willing to express herself with either parent in the room is low.
Best of luck to you all. You're in a very tough spot and I hope you can get her some real help. |
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