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 Expert
Posts: 1304
 
| They said he was almost a year old in 2012 but he still had puppy teeth so younger than that. I guess he'd be around 4? He's a terrier/poodle mix of some sort. We're going to talk more about it this evening I'd say. I don't want to be unreasonable, but I just want us all to be happy and things to be fair!
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
 
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | blccwgl55 - 2016-05-22 2:05 PM They said he was almost a year old in 2012 but he still had puppy teeth so younger than that. I guess he'd be around 4? He's a terrier/poodle mix of some sort. We're going to talk more about it this evening I'd say. I don't want to be unreasonable, but I just want us all to be happy and things to be fair!
This really tuged at my heart seeing that cute little face, there would be no way I would get rid of this little dog. I hope that you and the boyfriend can work this out..  |
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Nut Case Expert
Posts: 9305
Location: Tulsa, Ok | My daughter says if she had relied on the judgement of her corgii she would have been spared am ugly divorce because there would never have been a marriage!! |
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 Good Grief!
Posts: 6343
Location: Cap'n Joan Rotgut.....alberta | I wont give up any of my animals..for ANYBODY...i have had them longer than any person and they will continue to be with me til the end.....i trust my critters before most ppl...ppl will come and go and thats THEIR choice but an animal is YOUR choice....choose wisely. .M |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 788
| That really is a tough situation and I have been on both sides of this myself. First off, no dont get rid of your dog! However, without your boyfriend agreeing that you should compromise, I think you might should make at least some of the changes you mentioned above. I love dogs and I have an inside dog myself, but she is very well behaved. I cant stand a dog using it on the floor. That would cause a problem with me. So, maybe he does need to be in the kennel some. It might even help him feel safer. On the other hand, Your boyfriend should not be asking you to get rid of your dog. And its not because the dog should neccessarily come before your relationship, but you had the dog first and your boyfriend should understand how you feel and work with you.
I do agree with what others have said, animals are really good judges of character. Good luck and hope everything works out. |
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 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9991
Location: Kansas | while I would never give up an animal for a relationship, I also wouldn't want to be stuck in a relationship with someone who's dog hates me and poops all over the house.
I for one, would not live in conditions like that because it is absolutely gross to me. Maybe you can speak with your vet about what's going on with your dog, there has to be an underlying issue as to why he's doing it.
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 1182
Location: Do I hear Banjos? | Not the question you are asking...but I'd sure not move in together. That "bump in the road" and some other things you sorta mentioned have me thinking you need to keep your own separate place and not just because of the dog.
Pets mean different things to different people. I think what you have described tells me you and the boyfriend are NOT on the same page about pets. I also think dogs are a good judge of character. Maybe this pup has issues...but it doesn't sound like the boyfriend has the necessary patience and compassion towards them that I personally look for in a partner.
Don't settle. Seriously. I cannot stress that enough. Enjoy the relationship for what it has to offer...but if it's not ideal...it's not what you need. |
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  Witty Enough
Posts: 2954
Location: CTX | TrailGirl - 2016-05-23 9:50 AM Not the question you are asking...but I'd sure not move in together. That "bump in the road" and some other things you sorta mentioned have me thinking you need to keep your own separate place and not just because of the dog. Pets mean different things to different people. I think what you have described tells me you and the boyfriend are NOT on the same page about pets. I also think dogs are a good judge of character. Maybe this pup has issues...but it doesn't sound like the boyfriend has the necessary patience and compassion towards them that I personally look for in a partner. Don't settle. Seriously. I cannot stress that enough. Enjoy the relationship for what it has to offer...but if it's not ideal...it's not what you need.
I agree here, don't move in together just yet. Why not have your own place where the dog feels safe, and you can still have your bf over or go to his place.
You are still young, maybe he is the guy for you, maybe not. But jumping in with all that is going on already would not be my first choice.
But the way I see it, there is much more going on than just the dog.... so take your time, and don't rush into something you might regret down the road.
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | cranky B4 10am - 2016-05-23 11:14 AM
TrailGirl - 2016-05-23 9:50 AM Not the question you are asking...but I'd sure not move in together. That "bump in the road" and some other things you sorta mentioned have me thinking you need to keep your own separate place and not just because of the dog. Pets mean different things to different people. I think what you have described tells me you and the boyfriend are NOT on the same page about pets. I also think dogs are a good judge of character. Maybe this pup has issues...but it doesn't sound like the boyfriend has the necessary patience and compassion towards them that I personally look for in a partner. Don't settle. Seriously. I cannot stress that enough. Enjoy the relationship for what it has to offer...but if it's not ideal...it's not what you need.
I agree here, don't move in together just yet. Why not have your own place where the dog feels safe, and you can still have your bf over or go to his place.
You are still young, maybe he is the guy for you, maybe not. But jumping in with all that is going on already would not be my first choice.
But the way I see it, there is much more going on than just the dog.... so take your time, and don't rush into something you might regret down the road.Â
VERY WISE WORDS. |
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Expert
Posts: 1304
| Thank you for the responses. We weren't planning on moving together yet, but were just kinda visiting the option for in the future. I am getting my Masters and will be done next May and he's already been working since he graduated college two years ago. I don't want to jump into living together. I definitely understand that he doesn't want my dog to ruin his things or where we would live. I feel to get past it, they need to spend some time around eachother because they rarely see eachother and my dog needs a chance to take him in and maybe see that he's not scary. On the same note, the boyfriend needs to be sincere because animals know if you don't like them. I feel like it's just bad not to even try even before we would possibly live together. He doesn't have any medical issues, other than allergies, he just has pooped when he's scared or mad. He's a good dog otherwise. He acts great and more outgoing at the dog park near me, so maybe I could start there and have him go with me. I'm trying not to make any decisions right now, but I don't wanna waste my time either by not addressing some issues now. |
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 Living on the edge of common sense
Posts: 24138
Location: Carpenter, WY | I would bet that being a rescue has alot to do with the pooping and your dog has insecurity issues. There is no way I'd rescue a animal and then after 4 years give him the boot. When you rescued you made the commitment to take care of the little cutie.
If your boyfriend is serious about you he would offer to work with you to help solve the problem and not give a 'me or the dog' ultimatum. He knew you had the dog going into the relationship and if he can't handle or doesn't want to handle this little bit of baggage whats he going to do when a bigger issue comes up? Your dog knows that he isn't liked by your boyfriend and to me it's up to your boyfriend to gain his confidence.
I'm one for picking my battles and this is one I would fight for.
Edited to add: my first boyfriend many years ago would come over and my little dog would lift his leg and pee on him when he sat down, After getting to know this guy the dog was justified :)
Edited by teehaha 2016-05-23 12:24 PM
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Industrial Srength Barrel Racer
Posts: 7264
| teehaha - 2016-05-23 12:20 PM
 I would bet that being a rescue has alot to do with the pooping and your dog has insecurity issues. There is no way I'd rescue a animal and then after 4 years give him the boot. When you rescued you made the commitment to take care of the little cutie.Â
If your boyfriend is serious about you he would offer to work with you to help solve the problem and not give a 'me or the dog' ultimatum. He knew you had the dog going into the relationship and if he can't handle or doesn't want to handle this little bit of baggage whats he going to do when a bigger issue comes up? Your dog knows that he isn't liked by your boyfriend and to me it's up to your boyfriend to gain his confidence.
I'm one for picking my battles and this is one I would fight for.Â
Edited to add:Â my first boyfriend many years ago would come over and my little dog would lift his leg and pee on him when he sat down, After getting to know this guy the dog was justified :)
Â
Usually dogs are better judges of character than we are! |
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Sock Snob
Posts: 3021
| my husband would joking say something, but he and i resuced many animals, in fact my 16 year old kitty sitting next to me, he had 4 or 5 siblings, i with this sweet kiddy. he wanted to bring them all home with us. he is trying to control you, it will not stop with that. |
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Regular
Posts: 71
Location: Some where | If he has strong feelings like he says there shouldn't be any compromise in the relationship , friendship . Like others said , he came in the relationship knowing you had this little dog and should be willing to work on gaining its trust . What if this was a child ? To most people there pets are like there children . |
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| In my experience, these types of issues don't stop with just one. When you give in on 1 issue, there will be another one later on down the road. If he is not a horse person, that might be the next thing no matter what he says now.
Just my experience, which might not happen to you.
Good Luck. |
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Married to a Louie Lover
Posts: 3303
| My fiancé didn't particularly care for my little dog when I moved in with him, but we made it work. He didn't fit in with the rest of the herd as he had to be on a leash at all times, he was yippy and demanding and kind of a pain. But he was my pain.
I'd catch them snuggling from time to time, and when I wasn't home he made sure he got outside and made an effort.
That's what I see missing - I feel like the boyfriend should recognize the importance of the dog in your life and be making an effort to at least be on reasonable terms with him - such that he can at least take him outside, feed him, etc without issues, and I understand as a rescue with traumatic memories of men that may never be as easy as it sounds, but it's the effort on the boyfriends part that I'm not seeing.
That lack of effort may very well show up again later in life. |
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 Expert
Posts: 2159
Location: NW. Florida | I have allergies too, but I also have a dog that I love. That's a choice I make, but I wouldn't have a dog peeing and pooping on my stuff, or the house I live in. With that said, if I wouldn't want it, I wouldn't expect someone to have to put up with it either. Sometimes you have to step back and put yourself in the other person's shoes. |
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Meanest Teacher!!!
Posts: 8552
Location: sunny california | i had a kitty that had IBS and would throw up alot. Hubby just cleaned it up and said, " oh poor kitty has a tummy ache" when someone can't put up with a little problem here and there I have to wonder if I will become a pain in the butt when I am senile or my parents might need looking after. you don't just turn your back on someone you love and that goes for pets too.
oh we invested in a lot of wee wee pads. the cat used them as she hated a litter box. and honestly they were so easy to pick up and put a new one down.
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 Don't Wanna Make This Awkward
Posts: 3106
Location: Texas | I totally see where he is coming from.. I don't think you should get rid of the dog. Sounds to me like the dog needs some training and to spend some more time with the boyfriend. My dog or not I wouldn't want to live with a dog the went potty inside. An accident is one thing but eventually that has to get pretty old. I thinnk you both need to try and compromise more. He needs to want to try and get a long with the dog and you need to be more understanding(maybe you already are but didn;t sound like it from what I read). |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 742
| Dogs just like horses don't have spite built into them like humans do. If I read correctly, your dog has had accidents and when he does it around someone like your BF it is insecurity and fear not a training issue. If your BF is not willing to like your dog then there is no chance of dealing with these issues with your poor little Bradley.
I agree with others that animals have a much better judgement of charater than we, as humans, do. I also agree with others that say it's not just about the dog, it's something in the relationship. Relationships in the early years are supposed to be fun and bring pure joy maybe a spat or two but not deep issues and yours seems like deep issues. Be careful who you chose to spend the rest of your life with because life is very LOOONG. |
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