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 A Somebody to Everybody
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Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | No advice just wanted to sent  and  |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
 
Location: OH. IO | thinking of your family today,and the young mans family as well. |
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 My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | Chandler left right after lunch to go to the League, his deer camp on the river. (Its about an hour or more from our farm.) And I thought about this young man and his family, and how our lives can change in an instant. Many prayers again for all involved in this situation. |
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Addicted to Baseball
Location: Where the stars at night are big and bright, TX | Tbred, all I can add is that it will take her some time. Grief is normal, it's a process though, not a place to stop and stay. I read this timely message below that Sheila (ladyjockey) shared this morning on her FB page and thought of your daughter. 18 is young to emotionally comprehend all the losses, and it's not always east to rest our minds and seek in our faith for peace, but I still thought I'd share this and was told that I could. I hope she finds comfort in the words of those who have her on their hearts.
We can learn to enjoy life in knowing, God's presence is in every moment , in everything we do. Try reminding yourself throughout the day that God is with you and the moment you have right now is a gift from Him.
Yes, we have all lost loved ones, taking care of our elderly parents, when holidays come, don't make it a sad time, rejoice and enjoy each of the holiday and everyday! Know its the Lords will, not something we are entitled to, but actually need. We need to enjoy life for ourselves, also for Jesus, who paid a very high price for us to be able to. I have a saying that you honor their lives by LIVING yours to the fullest.
Life is a celebration! As is death. For we are ALL born to die in our flesh. Our Souls will live for eternity! John 10:19 Jesus said, " I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows). I told you these things , that MY JOY and DELIGHT may be IN you, and that your JOY and GLADNESS may be full measure and complete and overflowing.
We can easily fall into a pattern of surviving and enduring rather than enjoying. John 17:13 when Jesus prayed to the Father ,that we would have joy. " And now I am coming to You; I say these things while I am still in the world., so that My joy may be made full and complete and perfect in them, that My enjoyment may be perfected in their souls, that they may have My gladness within them, Filling their hearts.
Have a BLESSED Friday, REJOICE and BE GLAD, for THIS is a Day The Lord has made just for you! For it is WITH God ALL things are possible.
Edited by Tilt The Kilt 2016-11-25 8:40 AM
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | Thinking of all of you during this difficult time. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 899
Location: Idaho | Considering all of the losses that she has encountered, I think counseling/therapy will be beneficial to her mainly because it may cause her to be afraid to connect with anyone closely for fear of loss. She may seem a bit resilient as she is young, but the older she gets the more these things will come back and haunt her later. I have seen it happen multiple times with my people I know in my life. She needs to be able to learn to cope with losses properly, and come up with healthy coping mechanisms so she doesn't fall into a depressive state which she could be very vulnerable of. A good counselor that understands the effect of loss and also PTSD would be beneficial to her. |
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  Fact Checker
Posts: 16575
Location: Displaced Iowegian | I have no advice because I have not experienced this issue but certainly sending you and your daughter many hugs and prayers ....
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Location: in the ozone | DashNDustem - 2016-11-25 11:16 AM
Considering all of the losses that she has encountered, I think counseling/therapy will be beneficial to her mainly because it may cause her to be afraid to connect with anyone closely for fear of loss. She may seem a bit resilient as she is young, but the older she gets the more these things will come back and haunt her later. I have seen it happen multiple times with my people I know in my life. She needs to be able to learn to cope with losses properly, and come up with healthy coping mechanisms so she doesn't fall into a depressive state which she could be very vulnerable of. A good counselor that understands the effect of loss and also PTSD would be beneficial to her.
I agree with this. I am so terribly sorry for all her losses ... but she needs to learn HOW to grieve. Unfortunately many people think you should learn to "get over it" and it's not that simple. Grieving is normal, as long as she does not let herself wallow in it. A good therapist will help her with the skills to grieve and move on with her life, holding her memories dear to her. (and she may possibly need an anti-depressant for awhile too). She's had a tremendous amount of death/loss in a short time, in her short life. Prayers she will go and listen & heal. (it may take a few counselors to find one she is comfortable with - that is not uncommon. I had been to a couple & blew them off - they didn't have a CLUE about personal loss. I then found a great one!) |
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 Take a Picture
Posts: 12841
| Hope your daughter is doing a little better. Hasn't been very long but as time goes by maybe things will improve. |
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My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | Keeping your daughter and the other family in my prayers. |
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 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| Prayers for your daughter |
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 BHW New Catch of the Day
Posts: 9884
Location: Missouri | First thank you all for your prayers. A little update she did call a counselor but is not making an appointment. She talked for a while on the phone. She did come out of her room on Thanksgiving. She didn't carry on any conversations, but was present. Her cousin by marriage on my husbands side spent time talking to her in the evening. They are close in age and they share the same loss.
Friday she spent the afternoon and evening in the living room with my husband and I and we watched alot of fun movies that evening. She laughed. It almost made me cry.
Saturday, dinner at my mother in laws. She came, she smiled and talked a little. We all went cosmic bowling that night and she had fun.
Monday 1st day back to school. I think this was hard. She didn't talk much.
December the 4th will be the visitation and service. I'm expecting her to go backwards a bit. |
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My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | Even tiny forward steps are good. |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | Prayers for your daughter for the difficult days ahead.Along with this young man's family and all of the students suffering this huge loss.Prayers for you to have the strength to guide and help her as well. |
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Location: in the ozone | There are many stages of grief ... and you don't always travel from one to the next and on to the next, and you don't always go through them the same "pattern" as someone else. She is in shock still ... realization will set in more after the services. The anger stage could be 1-3 mos later ... please keep encouraging her to talk to a professional. |
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BHW New Catch of the Day
Posts: 9884
Location: Missouri | Last night when she came home from work I could tell she'd been crying. She told me she had a melt down and about 10 minutes later I saw her grab the counselor's phone number off the counter. I'm glad she recognizes the importance of nipping it in the bud asap when she's feeling low. |
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Location: in the ozone | melt downs are not uncommon at all ... it's learning it's "ok" and how to deal with them.
Prayers she stays open to a counselor |
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My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | Tbred - 2016-11-30 8:18 AM
Last night when she came home from work I could tell she'd been crying. She told me she had a melt down and about 10 minutes later I saw her grab the counselor's phone number off the counter. I'm glad she recognizes the importance of nipping it in the bud asap when she's feeling low.
Sounds like she's got a good head on her shoulders. Still sending up prayers |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | Checking in on your daughter.Hope things are settling just a bit since the services.Still in my prayers. |
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BHW New Catch of the Day
Posts: 9884
Location: Missouri | jake16 - 2016-12-05 12:49 PM Checking in on your daughter.Hope things are settling just a bit since the services.Still in my prayers.
Thank you. The visitation and memorial service was yesterday from 2 to 6, with a dinner following. She got home about 9 and I didn't ask why so late. She didn't look like a mess (like she'd been really crying alot) and I asked her how things went about 10 o'clock and asked a few questions about the service. She was down but seemed okay.
I was going to go but decided not to unless she asked me to be there with her. Thanks again for thinking of her. |
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