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 My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
   
Location: Arkansas | MS2011 - 2016-11-27 7:05 PM
Southtxponygirl - 2016-11-27 6:37 PM SaraJean - 2016-11-27 5:32 PM I'm a stay at home wife......I don't have a "real" job but help with the cattle & farm work, I run the rake during hay season, I have a barn full of really nice young horses that we've raised & are currently bringing along as ranch and mounted shooting horses, plus I do my artwork on the side....I honestly put in more hours & work a lot harder now than I ever did when I had a job in town, difference is that I love what I do now. You do too have a real job, I think being a stay at home wife works harder then most that do have to work. We dont work off the clock. Our work is never ending, lol..  Â
I don't think Roxie meant that at all. But coming from a work-at-office (and night time at home on tax returns and fish ponds) girl, I take my hat off to the "stay at homes". I don't want to trade places with them! | |
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  Northern Chocolate Queen
Posts: 16576
 
Location: ND | MS2011 - 2016-11-27 6:05 PM Southtxponygirl - 2016-11-27 6:37 PM SaraJean - 2016-11-27 5:32 PM I'm a stay at home wife......I don't have a "real" job but help with the cattle & farm work, I run the rake during hay season, I have a barn full of really nice young horses that we've raised & are currently bringing along as ranch and mounted shooting horses, plus I do my artwork on the side....I honestly put in more hours & work a lot harder now than I ever did when I had a job in town, difference is that I love what I do now. You do too have a real job, I think being a stay at home wife works harder then most that do have to work. We dont work off the clock. Our work is never ending, lol..
Dang, didn't mean to offend anyone. I've just been on both sides & I know that in MY case I work 100x harder now than I did when I had an office job. There's day's I wish I could go back to work so I could get some rest now! | |
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 Own It and Move On
Location: The edge of no where | SaraJean - 2016-11-27 8:21 PM MS2011 - 2016-11-27 6:05 PM Southtxponygirl - 2016-11-27 6:37 PM SaraJean - 2016-11-27 5:32 PM I'm a stay at home wife......I don't have a "real" job but help with the cattle & farm work, I run the rake during hay season, I have a barn full of really nice young horses that we've raised & are currently bringing along as ranch and mounted shooting horses, plus I do my artwork on the side....I honestly put in more hours & work a lot harder now than I ever did when I had a job in town, difference is that I love what I do now. You do too have a real job, I think being a stay at home wife works harder then most that do have to work. We dont work off the clock. Our work is never ending, lol..
You didn't.... BOTH jobs can be tough! :D
And I understand this probably wasn't meant the way it came across - home wife works harder then most that do have to work. We dont work off the clock. Our work is never ending, lol.
Just because some of use have a job away from home, doesn't mean that we don't also take care of everything at home as well. I haven't located that magic wand or fairy godmother that does all the home stuff for me just because I'm at work. LOL | |
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 Expert
Posts: 2258
| I have been at home since we got married, I really have no talents besides the horses so I probably couldn't make enough money to make it worth working. It isn't easy either my husband works out of town a lot so it is all up to me. We have a stud, small band of mares, foaling, breeding, training , selling ect and years like this one were really hard. I spent two months feeding an orphan filly and I know I didn't sleep more than 3 hrs a day/night and she went to every horse event we went to so she wouldn't miss feedings. I was so exhausted but so worth it at the end of the day. I wish I could contribute more money to our family but I do put in a lot of hours, of course there are days or even months when things slow down. | |
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Industrial Srength Barrel Racer
Posts: 7268
| I can't IMAGINE not having to go to a job! I've worked since I was probably 12. I think I would get bored but I'd sure like to give it a try although it would make me nervous being so dependent on somebody else. | |
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 Bulls Eye
Posts: 6443
Location: Oklahoma | I've worked since I was 16. We just had our 2nd daughter and I spent 8 weeks at home with her. I honestly enjoyed my time home with her and now that I'm back at work it's tough. I'm independent and didn't think I'd like staying home. But, I learned to relax. Now that I'm back working, there doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day to get everything done especially with an infant in the mix. | |
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 Hawty & Nawty
Posts: 20424
| I'm a stay at home something or other. I'm an author, so that helps. Hubby works odd and long hours, so at least this way we see each other when we can. | |
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 Expert
Posts: 1286
Location: Mississippi | I "tried" to quit my job a few years ago and they talked me into working from home with less hours. I feel extremely blessed although I do feel like I work harder than I did in an office setting. I rarely actually sit down and rest during the day. I work about 4 or 5 hours in the morning and after that, I am either cooking, cleaning or taking care of animals. I will say though that my stress level has gone to basically zero and my shoulder/back pain has subsided from not sitting at a desk 40 hours a week. I love being a stay at home wife - I feel like it has always been my calling. I actually enjoy cooking and secretly really like cleaning/laundry  . | |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 495
Location: Washington | I live this "luxury". Both kids are in school this year, ages 8 and 5. Husband is self employed running two companies. Some times I wish I could go back to work and have some consistency, only thing consistent in my day is dropping off and picking up kids from school. It's a running joke with friends what my day looks like and if my husband has called with my To-Do list. NOW I give kudos to moms that work and come home and do the daily wife/mother job when they get home! How you all fit it in, I have NO clue!
We have buffalo, cattle and horses that need tended so this time of year sucks, short days, bad weather and MUD. I am a busy body and actually cried my last day of "real" work. I did find a hobby of sewing to keep me busy on "quiet" days, when I'm not going and getting feed, rounding up loose cows, riding (which can be a chore when you have to scrape mud off three horses so kids can ride too), running errands for two companies, etc.......
There is only so much house cleaning a person can take day in and day out! LOL
ETA: In laws have flat out made comments to me when I said I have no time, "What better do you have to do?!" But when I offer to let them hang out with me for a day they pass! We get no vacations, rarely eat out. Our horses/livestock and kids are our lives. (Not necessarily in that order! lol)
Edited by Lopin' Leopard 2016-11-28 7:26 PM
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 Serious Snap Trapper
Posts: 4275
Location: In The Snow, AZ | I'm a stay at home mama that didn't go back to work. My husband handles the finances. He works dang hard to keep the wheels turning, but he wants me at home... and I love it. Just as everyone else has said, that doesn't mean I sit around and watch tv. There's laundry and dishes to do, horses to be rode, stalls to be cleaned, waters to be filled, bills to be paid, errands to run, homework to help with, kid activities, etc. Personally, I don't know how people go to work and handle domestic duties. I wish I could contribute more to the financial side, especially since he pays for, and encourages me to race. But I couldn't imagine going back to work, and still taking care of home duties. | |
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Veteran
Posts: 276
| Look around for something from home or part time from home. I found a position 30hrs per week and most of it is from home, after we had our daughter. The cut in pay for me is no where near what I would spend driving to/being in town everyday. I love it. Just enough of a break from being home, yet I have so much extra time to get things done around the house. Best of both worlds I think. | |
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Expert
Posts: 2531
Location: WI | I couldn't do it, the financial dependency part of it. Just make sure you are covered financially if anything happens to your hubby. Once you leave the workplace it can be challenging to get back in. | |
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 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
Location: Kansas | MS2011 - 2016-11-27 7:05 PM Southtxponygirl - 2016-11-27 6:37 PM SaraJean - 2016-11-27 5:32 PM I'm a stay at home wife......I don't have a "real" job but help with the cattle & farm work, I run the rake during hay season, I have a barn full of really nice young horses that we've raised & are currently bringing along as ranch and mounted shooting horses, plus I do my artwork on the side....I honestly put in more hours & work a lot harder now than I ever did when I had a job in town, difference is that I love what I do now. You do too have a real job, I think being a stay at home wife works harder then most that do have to work. We dont work off the clock. Our work is never ending, lol..
shoot I hear you. I don't have a husband or boyfriend, but I work 8-4:30...come home take care of all the animals, cook, pick up the house, do laundry, take care of kiddo, and STUDY on top of that lol | |
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Industrial Srength Barrel Racer
Posts: 7268
| hoofs_in_motion - 2016-11-28 10:53 AM
MS2011 - 2016-11-27 7:05 PM Southtxponygirl - 2016-11-27 6:37 PM SaraJean - 2016-11-27 5:32 PM I'm a stay at home wife......I don't have a "real" job but help with the cattle & farm work, I run the rake during hay season, I have a barn full of really nice young horses that we've raised & are currently bringing along as ranch and mounted shooting horses, plus I do my artwork on the side....I honestly put in more hours & work a lot harder now than I ever did when I had a job in town, difference is that I love what I do now. You do too have a real job, I think being a stay at home wife works harder then most that do have to work. We dont work off the clock. Our work is never ending, lol.. Â
I honestly don't know how some of you do it! I am guessing you don't sleep! I watched the grand babies last week for a couple hours (ages 1 and 8 weeks), the horses ate 2 hours late and I got NOTHING ELSE done - AT ALL. | |
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 Dancing in my Mind
Posts: 3062
Location: Eastern OH but my heart is in WV | rodeochick123 - 2016-11-27 3:12 PM
Are any of you stay at home wife's? My husband and I don't have kids yet but I quit my old job a few months ago and have been looking for a new position however my husband wants me to stay home and continue to cook and clean and do laundry and barrel race and take care of all the animals. Do any of you have experience doing this?
In my book, you are a very lucky woman. You stated that your husband is encouraging you to continue your barrel racing and all the animals, so it does not sound like he is "controling" the money or holding it against you that you are not working.
I always said that I would NEVER be a stay at home mom but at 46 with 2 very active kids, I now fully realize why God designed the roles of men and women the way he did. I have a good job but my home and farm suffers. I am embarassed to have family or friends just stop by because my house is a mess, I have a lot of stress concerning home issues because I feel like I don't have enough time to get things done. We are exterme busy with the kids, I also feel like my husband and I miss out on so much family time (such dinners at the tables, horses ready when my daughter gets off the bus to go for a ride, playing catch in the yard...). I would now trade my job to be able to take care of our home but we have become to dependent on the income at this point in our lives.
Best of luck in your decision, I know it is easy to think one way when you are younger vs when you are older.  | |
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 Blaines and Beauty
Posts: 1431
| I've been a stay at home mom for a few years now and I love it. I worked and was a supervisor for a fairly big city. I got sick of the politics involved and we decided that since my hubby has a good income, I would just do everything at home. I won't say it's easier BC I'm going 100 mph all the time but I love the freedom and being my own boss. I also give riding lessons and take in outside horses every once in a while to train. I do all the mowing, Bush hogging, watering and dragging the arena, feeding animals, all the upkeep outside plus all the house work. We are starting a new business (feed store, tack store) and I'm doing all the paperwork, handling of that and helping with building the interior so I'll be going back to work soon. But I have to say, being on both sides of it, I would pick staying at home any day over heading to a job where I have someone over me. Like I said, I enjoy being my own boss and I stay motivated and don't get lazy about it. | |
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Married to a Louie Lover
Posts: 3303
| We have dreamed about this being reality when we have kids.
Unfortunately I provide the insurance right now so the government has to get that figured out, no way we could swing everything plus insurance, but the plan is to get a lot of our debt hammered down before kids so me taking a job closer to home or part time with insurance might be a possibility. | |
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 Owner of a ratting catting machine
Posts: 2258
| I guess the only other thought I had, is OP, I remember you being very young a few short years ago.
I'm now in my early 30s, and have worked hard through my life, whether it be at a job or in school. Some of my friends have walked the same path as I have, (held off having kids, gotten a college education, and a full career). Their lives are showing the benefits of this, and they are able to do more things that they want more than ever. I have been able to be a successful partner to my husband financially, and we are now able to start contemplating career choices that would put us on a slower work pace.
I just don't want you to not get a full college or technical education because you fill your life with your husband and keeping house.
Several of my friends have gone the rely on a husband route, and one is now living with her mother trying to raise her kids on minimum wage because the marriage fell apart. She is going to college part time and is nearly 40. She walked away from the marriage with nothing but child support, a nice bedroom suite, 12 alimony payments and a car. She had the opportunity to go to school on his dime, and have an open window in case a door shut, and she procrastinated. I feel like her story is too common.
I'm just saying, no matter what you decide to do, is don't get lazy. If you get lazy, you seal your fate, and life is harder later. Stay in the middle of your own life, and don't look to a man to provide it for you. He can walk away any time and leave you wishing you had a good education and work skills to fall back on and stand on your own.
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 Veteran
Posts: 206
Location: Downsouth | Been there, done that and hated it. It took four years to realize that I was suffering from depression. Most days, I stayed in my pajamas until bedtime. I would take a bath to put on another pair. I am OCD so it just didn't work for me. My house was spotless, meals fit for a king, laundry done, floors swept, beds made, bathrooms cleaned, animals fed, stalls cleaned..... and I always looked like a hot mess. I was exhausted!!! My feet started hurting after the first year. Plantars Fasciitis. Doctor said to stay off my feet as much as possible. I looked at him like his hair was on fire. 3 years later, and almost crippled, I went back to work. One of the best decisions I have ever made.
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 Strong Willed Woman
Posts: 6577
Location: Prosser, WA | In life, almost everything is about what you make of any given thing. The judgements about who works harder are kind of silly. There are hard workers and lazy people in every job out there. | |
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