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Extreme Veteran
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| Is it wrong of me to feel better knowing that I am not alone? I hate it for the rest of you that are going through the same but I am glad I am not the only one.  | |
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 I hate cooking and cleaning
Posts: 3314
 
Location: Jersey Girl | love2ridepre - 2018-04-03 2:45 PM Is it wrong of me to feel better knowing that I am not alone? I hate it for the rest of you that are going through the same but I am glad I am not the only one.
Nope. Misery loves company! Well in this case, low self confidence does too!  | |
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 BHW New Catch of the Day
Posts: 9884
  
Location: Missouri | love2ridepre - 2018-04-03 11:18 AM Attending a clinic the first weekend in May with the younger horse. I hope I don't make a fool out of myself and I can control my mind!
Are you going to Marne Loosenorts clinic the 1st weekend in May? | |
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 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| Absolutely! All my horses are better than me. My old guys that I just sat there on and did not touch them are retired. They were a dream to ride but now that I have younger unfinished ones and have to do something - different story. I bought a 6 year old that had only been entered a few times but very patterned, will not run by a barrel and always went to his spot. I have turned him into a barrel hitter because I get ready for the turn way too soon, very discouraging to feel how I have changed him. I kind of have a breakthrough moment this last weekend on my other horse, young, very green and spooky. I sent him to a great trainer to start, so he is patterned but now needs to see the sights. This last weekend he almost sent me over his head planting his feet on the way to the second barrel because of the banners, he went every way but forward. I exhibitioned him and sucked it up and sent him at a high lope and I’ll be darn we ran a great pattern. I was so proud of him and myself and that changed my attitude about my other horse from worrying and being upset to accepting the challenge of really learning how to ride him. My goal is not to be fast, if we can be consistent 3D and pretty patterns I will be happy. Now I can’t wait to go run him and have the opportunity to work on myself. | |
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BHW New Catch of the Day
Posts: 9884
Location: Missouri | A lifetime of riding, almost 20 years of barrel racing and I'm now taking LESSONS! I have one tonight even. Ever since I stopped running a finished horse a monkey could ride and started my own, I have not been too successful and full of self doubt. Age isn't helping me out either. My upper body seems loose (need more core) and I frequently anticipate the turn, hang on his face when leaving.
I have a really nice 6yr old that I started 2 years ago and I sent him to a trainer and couldn't ride him when he came back. Talk about a blow. Since then I've swallowed my pride and asked anyone and everyone for help and I'm working on myself.
I also attended a major clinic last year and I'm signed up again this year, and it's with the person I sent him to. I haven't been in any bad wrecks, I just ride like an old person, lol. Fixing that though! | |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 408
| Tbred - 2018-04-03 2:03 PM
love2ridepre - 2018-04-03 11:18 AM Attending a clinic the first weekend in May with the younger horse. I hope I don't make a fool out of myself and I can control my mind!
Are you going to Marne Loosenorts clinic the 1st weekend in May?Â
yep, sure am! Going to take the younger one ... going to drive her crazy AGAIN   | |
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BHW New Catch of the Day
Posts: 9884
Location: Missouri | love2ridepre - 2018-04-03 2:48 PM Tbred - 2018-04-03 2:03 PM love2ridepre - 2018-04-03 11:18 AM Attending a clinic the first weekend in May with the younger horse. I hope I don't make a fool out of myself and I can control my mind! Are you going to Marne Loosenorts clinic the 1st weekend in May? yep, sure am! Going to take the younger one ... going to drive her crazy AGAIN
Me too me too! Oh fun! Hope I don't hurt as bad as I did last year, lol | |
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 I Drink Whiskey in Boys Shorts
Posts: 1882
| Slowly raises my hand....I have ridden with no consistency over the last 5 years after being pregnant and having a high needs little girl. The place we were renting had no good place to ride, so I mainly worked my mare on a lunge line. Then could walk/trot a little. Was piecing together some consistency in September of 2016 and then my mare broke my foot on Oct 1st that year. Had to recover from that, then holidays, a move out of state, putting together a new home, first real winter, blah, blah, blah. Couple all this with the fact that she is ultra spooky. Even getting a halter on can be a pain. My nerves and her nonsense isn't a good combo. Hubby gave me the suggestion to just start handling her like she is good and broke and pretend that everything is okay. Simple advice, but it has helped tremendously. So, I looked up some barrel races in my area and set a goal to go back the end of next month. This has given me the motivation to start riding again. I actually just loped my mare today for the first time since 2013.  We will deal with the competing nerves later. lol | |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 602
| I had to over come this by literally racing 3-5x a month and a trainer. You cant excel at any sport without competing and guidance. | |
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Defense Attorney for The Horse
Location: Claremore, OK | My first question would be, “what are you afraid of ?” ( not meant to be mean), is it something in you’re riding ? What other people think ? Disappointing your spouse ? If there are specific things that are making you apprehensive I’d go to a clinic or take some lessons and work,on your weak points (we all have them).
A clinic is great since you can watch people that are probably having the same problems as you. You not only get to work on yourself but you get to see other people do it.
My other question is, “what’s the worst that can happen ?” You might make some mistakes but you’ll learn from them. You shouldn’t worry bout what other people think.
The other thing people tend to do is over complicate things, they second guess themselves and end up frustrated and confused (along with the horse). Make your plan and stick with it. Find out what works for you. Be careful about taking advice from too many people. | |
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The Advice Guru
Posts: 6419
| If you are having anxiety speak with a psychologist, they do not have the authority to prescribe meds so they focus on calming techniques.
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 Expert
Posts: 1631
Location: Somewhere around here | love2ridepre - 2018-04-03 11:56 AM
cecollins0811 - 2018-04-03 12:09 PM
Yes I've been in the same position as you, and it truly sucks!! What has really helped me is listening to free Dre Baldwin (aka Dre All Day) podcasts and they're amazing! He has an online site but I use my podcast app CastBox.
do you just search for the name of the potcast?
I believe you can! The name is "Work On Your Game", and I can't believe I forgot to put it in the original post! I'll fix that now for anyone else who might want to check him out. | |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 408
| Liana D - 2018-04-03 7:11 PM
My first question would be, “what are you afraid of ?” ( not meant to be mean), is it something in you’re riding ? What other people think ? Disappointing your spouse ? If there are specific things that are making you apprehensive I’d go to a clinic or take some lessons and work,on your weak points (we all have them).
A clinic is great since you can watch people that are probably having the same problems as you. You not only get to work on yourself but you get to see other people do it.
My other question is, “what’s the worst that can happen ?” You might make some mistakes but you’ll learn from them. You shouldn’t worry bout what other people think.
The other thing people tend to do is over complicate things, they second guess themselves and end up frustrated and confused (along with the horse). Make your plan and stick with it. Find out what works for you. Be careful about taking advice from too many people.
Growing up I really never had an opportunity to own my own horse so I rode whatever it was offered to me and most of the time were horses than I had not business riding but that's another story. I had pretty bad wrecks, one in particular I was in the hospital for over a month about to lose my kidneys but all turned out well Thank God. I guess after so many my confidence got pretty shaken up but hey, I kept on going and the desire of riding not only did not go away but got stronger.
I am a pretty decent rider with a good balance but I panic, yep, I admit it, I do panic and my skills go out of the window when I do. It doesn't happen all the time but it does happen. If I am comfortable on a horse and I feel like I can trust him then I am fine but if I am getting used to it, I am a basket case. I will still ride and push myself but I sure could use some ace when I do!
What is the worse that it can happen?, well.... getting dump is not fun, mostly now when I don't longer fall but I splatter LOL. And then my confidence getting even worse and those demons taking over!
Yes, I am afraid of disappointing my hubby and friends that have been helping me but mostly I am afraid of disappointing myself. And you nailed it! I second guess myself ALL THE TIME!!! total mental case, right?
So after admitting all this in a public forum (embarrassed to no end), I am still going to keep working at it. I will take one day at a time, or better yet, one ride at a time! Quitting is never an option and besides, " courage is being scared to death but still saddling up anyways"
Edited by love2ridepre 2018-04-04 9:25 AM
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 310
Location: North Dakota | go to Training Barrel Horses and watch Danyelle Campbell's video on Mental Toughness. Its really helped me | |
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Defense Attorney for The Horse
Location: Claremore, OK | love2ridepre - 2018-04-04 9:23 AM
Liana D - 2018-04-03 7:11 PM
My first question would be, “what are you afraid of ?” ( not meant to be mean), is it something in you’re riding ? What other people think ? Disappointing your spouse ? If there are specific things that are making you apprehensive I’d go to a clinic or take some lessons and work,on your weak points (we all have them).
A clinic is great since you can watch people that are probably having the same problems as you. You not only get to work on yourself but you get to see other people do it.
My other question is, “what’s the worst that can happen ?” You might make some mistakes but you’ll learn from them. You shouldn’t worry bout what other people think.
The other thing people tend to do is over complicate things, they second guess themselves and end up frustrated and confused (along with the horse). Make your plan and stick with it. Find out what works for you. Be careful about taking advice from too many people.
Growing up I really never had an opportunity to own my own horse so I rode whatever it was offered to me and most of the time were horses than I had not business riding but that's another story. I had pretty bad wrecks, one in particular I was in the hospital for over a month about to lose my kidneys but all turned out well Thank God. I guess after so many my confidence got pretty shaken up but hey, I kept on going and the desire of riding not only did not go away but got stronger.
I am a pretty decent rider with a good balance but I panic, yep, I admit it, I do panic and my skills go out of the window when I do. It doesn't happen all the time but it does happen. If I am comfortable on a horse and I feel like I can trust him then I am fine but if I am getting used to it, I am a basket case. I will still ride and push myself but I sure could use some ace when I do!
What is the worse that it can happen?, well.... getting dump is not fun, mostly now when I don't longer fall but I splatter LOL. And then my confidence getting even worse and those demons taking over!
Yes, I am afraid of disappointing my hubby and friends that have been helping me but mostly I am afraid of disappointing myself. And you nailed it! I second guess myself ALL THE TIME!!! total mental case, right?
So after admitting all this in a public forum (embarrassed to no end ), I am still going to keep working at it. I will take one day at a time, or better yet, one ride at a time! Quitting is never an option and besides, " courage is being scared to death but still saddling up anyways"
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to embarrass you. Just trying to encourage a problem solving, thought provoking process. I think a clinic would benefit you on many levels. Even auditing a clinic would help. Paul Humphrey is great, Dena Kirkpatrick is great. There are many clinicians that offer great information.
If a clinic won’t work for you perhaps you could do some lessons with a local professional ? | |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 408
| nothing to be sorry about at all. It is what it is and one step closer to overcoming it is admitting that I have a serious problem, right?
I do work with a trainer (God bless her a thousand times over, I've never met anyone so selfless, dedicated and willing to help as this trainer. She is super busy, extremely successful but always willing to give you a hand) and yes, I am doing a clinic the first weekend of May with this trainer. I am very much looking forwards to it although at the same time I am like "oh My Gosh! " LOL | |
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Expert
Posts: 1414
| Yup, I'm in the same boat several of you are in. For several years I broke colts, trained horses for people, took in problem horses, etc. I studied training like it was my full time job. I craved it, it came relatively "easy" to me and I soaked up every second I could.
Five years ago we moved and built a house. It was an unusual build and took a ton of my time. Between work and the house project I took 6 months off from riding. No biggie, nice break for the horses too because it was winter.
House got done and I lost a bit of the drive to compete. The gelding I ran was very competitive but a challenge. He was just a high strung critter that you had to handle "just right", I was burned out on him. Over the course of 5 years I went from training/riding a lot of horses and never once thinking about HOW I rode - to not having good timing, I lost my "feel", my balance isn't what it once was, etc. I'll let weird thoughts of "what if" creep into my head and they never existed before. I feel like a washed up has been - and I never was a has. lol
I feel like "trainer" me was an entire lifetime ago, I hardly remember being that person. I don't know if I can get it back. I don't even know if I want all of it back but it would be nice to feel like I knew how to ride again and be confident. I'm not scared, I just don't have the seat I once did and I don't like it.
Sorry for my ramble. | |
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Regular
Posts: 65
| I am in the same boat as a lot of you all. I use to ride anything you put me on. I had no fear. I had a bad accident 6 years ago on a young horse. He reared up, spun around & off I came. He got my shoulder with his hoof when he started bucking & ran off while I was on the ground. I've got a bad neck from the way I hit the ground & my shoulder still gives me problems.
I didn't ride as much after that unless it was one of my good horses that I trusted 110%. I've lost my 2 good horses & have a new one that is awesome & waits for me. He does get a little antsy sometimes & when he does I get super nervous & somewhat scared. I know, doesn't help him any.
I started riding him more & was building my confidence up when he got stomach issues & had to be off for a month. Now I'm back to riding him & it's like I'm starting all over.
I've started an exercise program at home to help build up my balance & strength along with losing some weight. As soon as this crazy weather breaks I'm going to be riding everyday instead of just when I can. God love my pony!! He is so good to me & patient. You are definitely not alone.
Sorry so long! | |
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Expert
Posts: 1599
| roanrider - 2018-04-04 12:53 PM Yup, I'm in the same boat several of you are in. For several years I broke colts, trained horses for people, took in problem horses, etc. I studied training like it was my full time job. I craved it, it came relatively "easy" to me and I soaked up every second I could. Five years ago we moved and built a house. It was an unusual build and took a ton of my time. Between work and the house project I took 6 months off from riding. No biggie, nice break for the horses too because it was winter. House got done and I lost a bit of the drive to compete. The gelding I ran was very competitive but a challenge. He was just a high strung critter that you had to handle "just right", I was burned out on him. Over the course of 5 years I went from training/riding a lot of horses and never once thinking about HOW I rode - to not having good timing, I lost my "feel", my balance isn't what it once was, etc. I'll let weird thoughts of "what if" creep into my head and they never existed before. I feel like a washed up has been - and I never was a has. lol I feel like "trainer" me was an entire lifetime ago, I hardly remember being that person. I don't know if I can get it back. I don't even know if I want all of it back but it would be nice to feel like I knew how to ride again and be confident. I'm not scared, I just don't have the seat I once did and I don't like it. Sorry for my ramble. THIS. But you can get it back. I think when I was 20 all I thought was that I was hot s&^t and could ride anything and wanted to prove I could. Nothing could stop me! Now, 10 years later, logic has set in and I don't ride all day every day anymore. I've tried everything, and at highly competive levels....WP, HUS, Reining, cutting...and nothing is as challenging to me mentally as barrel racing, even though when I was 16 I was hauling ass fearlessly!!
Cutting is tough but having the cow to watch keeps my nerves at bay and my body moves with the cow and in turn my horse...if you watch a barrel you demolish it! Soooo yeah it's been challenge but I've been doing a lot of no-rein and no-stirrup riding to train my body and also doing reflex drills at the gym and at home. My feel is back and I'm using my body now more than my legs which makes my horses happier...hopefully confidence will follow!
I do think the phrase "hard work trumps talent when talent doesn't work hard" applies to us....we will need to work hard to ride the way we used to but we will get it!
Edited by lopnaround 2018-04-04 1:23 PM
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 Owner of a ratting catting machine
Posts: 2258
| I’m so sorry you are going through that! I used to play every mind trick in the book on myself trying to feel better about what I was doing. For me it wasn’t so much my confidence in my ability to ride or that I’d get hurt, it was that I just flat wasn’t good enough.
I still struggle with that, and I can pick apart a run or a photo until I feel like I’m worthless.
The best thing I did for myself was to start working out hard with a good trainer at the gym, and taking better care of myself in general. I feel better about myself in general, it really does help. It gives me more of a sense that I deserve to be there having fun because I’ve paid my dues (see, more mind games, haha).
I also went to a couple of clinics where i came out saddle dead, exhausted!! Loved it! Helped very very much!
A close friend of mine just had her third child and is feeling pretty low about herself as a rider. I talked her into going to a clinic with me in a few weeks, three days!! I’ve answered every question or desperate “Oh my gosh what’d you talk me into?!” from her with a big smile and have promised to stay glued to her the whole weekend as she needs it. Maybe get you a clinic buddy??
I hope you can work through it, it’s so much fun to go and feel confident and not worried or anxious. We’re our own worst critics! | |
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