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 My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
   
Location: Arkansas | WetSaddleBlankets - 2018-08-12 10:59 PM
Chandler's Mom - 2018-08-12 10:00 PM
WetSaddleBlankets - 2018-08-12 9:42 PM
Chandler's Mom - 2018-08-12 9:08 PM
Southtxponygirl - 2018-08-12 5:34 PM
WetSaddleBlankets - 2018-08-12 5:11 PM Southtxponygirl - 2018-08-12 4:31 PM Oh heck theres adults that still dont behave like adults, they still go on like they are teens, putting their fun time befor children, wife/husband, bills. you only live once. Horses are my priority and I don't really want kids... Maybe one. My fiance knows this and this is how I choose to live my life. It's honestly a choice. If you choose a college away where you can't take horses, a job that requires you to travel, marry a husband that doesn't support horses or have kids and just stop riding/ competing... it's a choice. Money obviously is they biggest drive but if you really want something you do find away to keep it in your life even just a little. Maybe it makes me a bad person to say that because I didn't choose that path but horses are what drive me and with out them I'd seriously be lost. Like I said you only live one life... One time.
Yep, I see it all the times, folks with children (multiple usually ), that act no different than they did when they were 18 or 19. And seem offended by the notion that their life should change because "of that kid". Disgraceful Kids should be your priority if you them but by no means does it mean you should neglect your time for you. Drop all your passions in life and get lost just because you have kids. To many people have kids and lose themselves. Then when the kids are gone they don't know who they are anymore. Even with children, horses can be a big part of your life... That was my point. It's a choice you make as a Person. Kids should not be a death sentence to your other joys on life.
I'm talking about people who make a decision to get married and have children. Or keep having more children in spite of the very apparent fact that LITTLE ONES CHANGE YOUR LIFE. My son is my passion, my life, my everything. Do I adore my horses and give them the best? Absolutely, but Chandler is my number one joy and priority in life. Bar none. Again, I made this decision, and I realize not everyone feels like I do. I'm definitely not condemning you or your decision by any means. On the contrary, everyone should be so clear on their priorities. nothing in no way wrong with your choice and its great you have your priorities in line with having children. But that isn't what I was getting at either. I meant we have a choice for what we make time for and how we spend it. If it's something you want... horses or whatever and you really want it in your life then you will make the time. Just like the career we choose. No way was I choosing a career that would effect my barrel racing by traveling for work or working where I couldn't have time to compete. I wanted a career that would compliment my lifestyle.... Because work is not my life.
Edited by Chandler's Mom 2018-08-12 11:42 PM
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Industrial Srength Barrel Racer
Posts: 7264
| madredepeanut - 2018-08-12 10:27 PM
I'm realizing that life is a whirlwind, and as soon as I slow down for one thing, another picks me back up and tosses me around before spitting me out. For about twenty years, I was all about horses and rodeo and never dreamed that I wouldn't be out there competing every weekend. Now I am counting down the days until my foals are old enough to be started, but I know once we start having kids I will be watching my horses run from the sidelines.
Responsibilities and priorities change, and accepting this fact to keep your life in order is paramount. The ones who resist change and are inflexible to life's curve balls find themselves lagging behind, clinging to the past instead of striding forward, excited for the next step.
Speaking of cleaning house, sorry to hijack the thread, but how many of you BBs on here have a housekeeper? We are contemplating having a reputable, local housekeeper come in and deep clean every month or two, as those arduous chores are not high on our list since we have so many other things to accomplish throughout our days, and I despise deep cleaning.
I have a lady come once a month. For $90 she does stuff I don't do, like clean the ceiling fans, wash the light globes, clean the heater filters, she even washes out the sweeper filter before she leaves! I STILL feel like I spend every Sunday cleaning, there's always laundry, dishes, bedding to be washed, floors to be mopped, cars to wash - YES, I feel like I spend too much time adulting! | |
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Expert
Posts: 1409
Location: Oklahoma | One of the reasons I chose not to have kids! Im 46 and don't regret it at all! Life bout choices. Not saying you or anyone on this board but when I hear complaints bout how hard life is, and even me! I have to realize we made the choices we wanted and it may not always go as planned but we have to make the best of it. | |
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Addicted to Baseball
Location: Where the stars at night are big and bright, TX | Having a horsey husband it wasn't too hard to keep up with the horses while my kids were little. One kid is in Jr. High and one going into HS this year. I admit I do not put house cleaning first, I maintain it though, and employ the kids. Helps immensely when they are finally old enough to help with everything.
There was a few years I put a lot of my horse interest and my own fitness on mostly-hold due to both kids in every sport - both school sports and summer county sports, showing livestock for 3/4 of the year as well. That's stupid expensive and makes bad financial sense if you care to teach that end of it too and not just chase a showmanship buckle. We show in the winter so we were working animals by headlights in the dark and bitter cold after games and practices were over for the day. Sold our souls to showing market animals the last 6 years. My kids are raised with livestock, there are no more "life lessons" left to learn there. I pulled the plug on that after this last show season. Thankfully as they hit puberty they started on their own to only pursue the sports they really like and have a talent for, so they've pared down the year round pursuit of that too. I have said no to a few other things...no to cheerleading (5:30 am regular bake sale fundraisers after getting in from a game at 2:30 am - hell no), no to football as he got closer to HS and the kids get bigger and hit harder. An NFL offer is unlikely, but he does have plans for a PhD so no sense in risking head injury. We live so far away from other schools in our district, getting home at 2:30 AM after an away game the middle of the week then getting up the next day for school is not fun. Too much on everyone's plate. I think saying NO to kids, self, others is also a good life lesson.
My husband has since sold off his horses, taken up other hobbies. I just have 2 horses now, easily managed as one is retired so just need to keep one fit and trained. Now we stick to a couple of sports camps to haul to over the summer break, private sports lessons with trainers once a week during the year, a couple sports each with the kids during the school year. More time for me to get back into training my own show jumper again for my Phase 3 in life. Getting my fitness back has been the hardest part of reclaiming myself. Your heart and mind may be all-in for a return to what was, but the body is slower to come along as the years pass. Don't let too much get away from you, we have plenty of years we won't be able to. Scale down what isn't really making sense for the family or think what will really make a difference in 10 years and have no regrets.
Edited by Tilt The Kilt 2018-08-13 8:59 AM
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Regular
Posts: 93
| WetSaddleBlankets - 2018-08-12 5:11 PM
Southtxponygirl - 2018-08-12 4:31 PM
Oh heck theres adults that still dont behave like adults, they still go on like they are teens, putting their fun time befor children, wife/husband, bills.
you only live once. Horses are my priority and I don't really want kids... Maybe one. My fiance knows this and this is how I choose to live my life. It's honestly a choice. If you choose a college away where you can't take horses, a job that requires you to travel, marry a husband that doesn't support horses or have kids and just stop riding/ competing... it's a choice. Money obviously is they biggest drive but if you really want something you do find away to keep it in your life even just a little. Maybe it makes me a bad person to say that because I didn't choose that path but horses are what drive me and with out them I'd seriously be lost. Like I said you only live one life... One time.
Sometimes that traveling job is all you can find that will pay the bills. Being single, taking care of 2 horses, paying rent and bills gets expensive. I can't just quit and go work at dairy queen. Yes I've applied for a million jobs, have a college degree, but the job market is shot right now. Not everyone is lucky to have a husband pay the bills. I'm super blessed I got to haul as much as I could last year. For that I'm greatful. For now, I have to grow up and get my SH** together so that I won't be living under an overpass somewhere. Not always a "CHOICE" | |
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 Poor Cracker Girl
Posts: 12150
Location: Feeding mosquitos, FL | Adulting sucks!!
Sold a horse on Saturday (which I do not do often). Come home from the handoff, get on the lawn mower, it breaks halfway through mowing for the 5th time this summer. Time to throw more parts at it or replace it. Goodbye pony money!  | |
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | WetSaddleBlankets - 2018-08-12 9:42 PM Chandler's Mom - 2018-08-12 9:08 PM Southtxponygirl - 2018-08-12 5:34 PM WetSaddleBlankets - 2018-08-12 5:11 PM Southtxponygirl - 2018-08-12 4:31 PM Oh heck theres adults that still dont behave like adults, they still go on like they are teens, putting their fun time befor children, wife/husband, bills. you only live once. Horses are my priority and I don't really want kids... Maybe one. My fiance knows this and this is how I choose to live my life. It's honestly a choice. If you choose a college away where you can't take horses, a job that requires you to travel, marry a husband that doesn't support horses or have kids and just stop riding/ competing... it's a choice. Money obviously is they biggest drive but if you really want something you do find away to keep it in your life even just a little. Maybe it makes me a bad person to say that because I didn't choose that path but horses are what drive me and with out them I'd seriously be lost. Like I said you only live one life... One time. Yep, I see it all the times, folks with children (multiple usually ), that act no different than they did when they were 18 or 19. And seem offended by the notion that their life should change because "of that kid". Disgraceful Kids should be your priority if you them but by no means does it mean you should neglect your time for you. Drop all your passions in life and get lost just because you have kids. To many people have kids and lose themselves. Then when the kids are gone they don't know who they are anymore. Even with children, horses can be a big part of your life... That was my point. It's a choice you make as a Person. Kids should not be a death sentence to your other joys on life.
I was not going to reply to the comment about kido's being a death sentence to ones life joys, but that comment just bugged me, yes your life changes when you have children but in such a good way, children mode us to become a better person. I would never consider a child a death sentence to what we love doing we just learn to do things different and at a different pace.. I know the younger adults that dont have childern must see it this way, but please dont look at childern and think this, my 2 boys were a blessing and so many others think the same about their kids. I didnt drop my passion for horses I still have them and did what I wanted to do and never lost myself either. I agree its a choice and not everybody should be a mommie or daddy. | |
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | Sorry Gotothewhip I didnt mean for my reply to set some off.  | |
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 The Bling Princess
Posts: 3411
Location: North Dakota | Actually.....no. As a 40 something year old, married to a team roper, no kids, I find we do what we want, when we want to do it. We've purposely set up our lives to have horses in the forefront. This may mean that my house isn't always clean, the yard not mowed and in impeccable condition, and that laundry may pile up. And I'm really ok with that because our horses are working amazing and we are having fun together. Life is too short and our season is too short, to worry about living in a clean house or having the impeccable yard. I want to enjoy the life I created now and while I'm still able to do it. | |
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| Adulting is hard. Some of the best advise I ever received was to not change my lifestyle for my kids but to raise my kids to love my lifestyle. My kids have been horse back from the time they were born. My daughter is 10 and rides a rotation of 4 horses, my son is 5 and rides 2. My house is rarely spotless clean, laundry may go without being folded the same day and don't even ask how bad my weedscape is...but we ride daily and we live the life we all love. Barrel racing has slowed down a little bit but that's because we have chosen to focus more on roping and junior rodeos. During the work week it's a lot of long days and late nights trying to catch up but it's all been worth it to watch my kids learn to ride competitively. I think you have to figure out what is priority and find a schedule to make it all work the best you can.
Edited by bscanchaser 2018-08-13 12:27 PM
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 Guys Just Wanna Have Fun
Posts: 5530
Location: OH | Once you have children, what you once thought was so important, doesn't seem as important anymore. In the whole scheme of things, we actually have out children for a very short time---I want to make the most of it. | |
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 I hate cooking and cleaning
Posts: 3310
Location: Jersey Girl | madredepeanut - 2018-08-12 11:27 PM I'm realizing that life is a whirlwind, and as soon as I slow down for one thing, another picks me back up and tosses me around before spitting me out. For about twenty years, I was all about horses and rodeo and never dreamed that I wouldn't be out there competing every weekend. Now I am counting down the days until my foals are old enough to be started, but I know once we start having kids I will be watching my horses run from the sidelines. Responsibilities and priorities change, and accepting this fact to keep your life in order is paramount. The ones who resist change and are inflexible to life's curve balls find themselves lagging behind, clinging to the past instead of striding forward, excited for the next step. Speaking of cleaning house, sorry to hijack the thread, but how many of you BBs on here have a housekeeper? We are contemplating having a reputable, local housekeeper come in and deep clean every month or two, as those arduous chores are not high on our list since we have so many other things to accomplish throughout our days, and I despise deep cleaning. This year was the first in 3 years that I was able to barrel race (or ride even) due to health issues. I have been going to weekend races once a month and just plain enjoying time spent with my horses. I learned life is short and you need to enjoy it. It can change in a heartbeat.
My son is grown and on his own. I used to tote him to the barn so I could still ride and do things with my horse but I would try and include my son too.
I am lucky to have a supportive husband that pays for someone to clean every 2 weeks. He started that when I was sick because it was too much for him to do everything.
Edited by fulltiltfilly 2018-08-13 11:43 AM
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 898
Location: Mountains of VA | I guess this counts as behaving like an adult...............now that I'm a close to 60 adult, I find that I just physically hurt and I'm starting to DREAD riding or even working with our young horses. The farm work is demanding and by the time of day that I have to ride, I'm worn out and do not look forward to riding anymore.
I want to sell or trade all the youngstock but it seems to be a dream to be able to sell anything. I feel like I will be too cripled or dead before I have a horse that will be broke enough to compete at anything.
Forget about trying to keep up with the house..........at least my husband and I both do our part but it's not spotless.
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 BHW New Catch of the Day
Posts: 9883
Location: Missouri | Some days as an adult, a tired adult, I just don't feel like riding. My kids are grown, my husband is busy doing his thing. I don't have to keep the house as clean as I once did or have supper ready at a decent hour. Sometimes I'm just tired.
I'm real gungho in the spring and the beginning of summer, but by this time of the year, I just don't wanna. Maybe riding once a week. I'm still running every weekend though, either a rodeo or a jackpot. I don't do weeknight jackpots because it's just too much and I just want to stay home.
I work a full time job, and a part time job. Some days just saddling is more work than I want, lol.
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 Off the Wall Wacky
Posts: 2981
Location: Louisiana | WYOTurn-n-Burn - 2018-08-13 9:56 AM
Actually.....no. As a 40 something year old, married to a team roper, no kids, I find we do what we want, when we want to do it. We've purposely set up our lives to have horses in the forefront. This may mean that my house isn't always clean, the yard not mowed and in impeccable condition, and that laundry may pile up. And I'm really ok with that because our horses are working amazing and we are having fun together. Life is too short and our season is too short, to worry about living in a clean house or having the impeccable yard. I want to enjoy the life I created now and while I'm still able to do it.
This.
I'm only 28 but I completely get what you're saying. My husband and I don't struggle by any means...but I dang sure wouldn't be doing what I do to NOT enjoy the horses. | |
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Veteran
Posts: 134
| Turnburnsis - 2018-08-13 8:04 AM
One of the reasons I chose not to have kids! Im 46 and don't regret it at all! Life bout choices. Not saying you or anyone on this board but when I hear complaints bout how hard life is, and even me! I have to realize we made the choices we wanted and it may not always go as planned but we have to make the best of it.
Thank you for this post! I have never wanted kids and spent all of my 20s seeking degrees and working to pay for those degrees. Last year, I finally decided I needed to have fun in life and finally checked off getting a horse, taking lessons, etc. to start barrel racing. I am really happy in my life with my husband but as I see my friends having kids I can't help but have that little voice in my head telling me I am being selfish doing the horse thing and I will regret not having kids later even though I still don't want to have kids. I really appreciate hearing from women older than me that they are still ok with not having kids and doing what they enjoy. The little voice was starting to get louder so thanks! :) :) | |
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Veteran
Posts: 277
| I don't understand why it has to be one or the other. Have the kids, enjoy the horses. Not that hard. | |
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Gettin Jiggy Wit It
Posts: 2734
| Southtxponygirl - 2018-08-13 9:46 AM
WetSaddleBlankets - 2018-08-12 9:42 PM Chandler's Mom - 2018-08-12 9:08 PM Southtxponygirl - 2018-08-12 5:34 PM WetSaddleBlankets - 2018-08-12 5:11 PM Southtxponygirl - 2018-08-12 4:31 PM Oh heck theres adults that still dont behave like adults, they still go on like they are teens, putting their fun time befor children, wife/husband, bills. you only live once. Horses are my priority and I don't really want kids... Maybe one. My fiance knows this and this is how I choose to live my life. It's honestly a choice. If you choose a college away where you can't take horses, a job that requires you to travel, marry a husband that doesn't support horses or have kids and just stop riding/ competing... it's a choice. Money obviously is they biggest drive but if you really want something you do find away to keep it in your life even just a little. Maybe it makes me a bad person to say that because I didn't choose that path but horses are what drive me and with out them I'd seriously be lost. Like I said you only live one life... One time. Yep, I see it all the times, folks with children (multiple usually ), that act no different than they did when they were 18 or 19. And seem offended by the notion that their life should change because "of that kid". Disgraceful Kids should be your priority if you them but by no means does it mean you should neglect your time for you. Drop all your passions in life and get lost just because you have kids. To many people have kids and lose themselves. Then when the kids are gone they don't know who they are anymore. Even with children, horses can be a big part of your life... That was my point. It's a choice you make as a Person. Kids should not be a death sentence to your other joys on life.
I'm sorry it bugged you and you took it the wrong way. The way people talk is having children change your life and all the passions you had before them are no longer deserving of your time because children should be your passion. So in my words a death sentence to the other things you shouldn't look at making a priority. Children are a joy and they make life worth living if you have them. It's human nature. But just because you have kids doesn't mean you stop doing things for you. You absolutely aren't understanding what I mean. | |
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Gettin Jiggy Wit It
Posts: 2734
| abrad12 - 2018-08-13 9:14 AM
WetSaddleBlankets - 2018-08-12 5:11 PM
Southtxponygirl - 2018-08-12 4:31 PM
Oh heck theres adults that still dont behave like adults, they still go on like they are teens, putting their fun time befor children, wife/husband, bills.
you only live once. Horses are my priority and I don't really want kids... Maybe one. My fiance knows this and this is how I choose to live my life. It's honestly a choice. If you choose a college away where you can't take horses, a job that requires you to travel, marry a husband that doesn't support horses or have kids and just stop riding/ competing... it's a choice. Money obviously is they biggest drive but if you really want something you do find away to keep it in your life even just a little. Maybe it makes me a bad person to say that because I didn't choose that path but horses are what drive me and with out them I'd seriously be lost. Like I said you only live one life... One time.
Sometimes that traveling job is all you can find that will pay the bills. Being single, taking care of 2 horses, paying rent and bills gets expensive. I can't just quit and go work at dairy queen. Yes I've applied for a million jobs, have a college degree, but the job market is shot right now. Not everyone is lucky to have a husband pay the bills. I'm super blessed I got to haul as much as I could last year. For that I'm greatful. For now, I have to grow up and get my SH** together so that I won't be living under an overpass somewhere. Not always a "CHOICE"
yes that is true but it's still a life choice. From the day I chose my career I didn't want that type of job that took me away from horses. If it happened it was only temporary. I don't have a husband that pays for all my bills either. | |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | Just remember,somewhere along the line life choices will slap you in the face,and you may just find yourself begging for a job that you don't love,and getting rid of things you enjoy and live for but can no longer afford.you may think you have the perfect life,but it only takes one bad accident,one sick loved one,and you just may loose it all.
Edited by jake16 2018-08-13 9:58 PM
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